Lazy Sunday XXXIII

You can find last week's answers and contest winner in an extended entry, but now it's time for today's Lazy Sunday contest! This week's prize is another iPod Shuffle!

Everyone has a chance at winning, so don't be shy! I'm trying to find a good balance between easy and hard questions, too, so if you feel frustrated, just answer the ones you know. Everyone who's between the ages of 16 and 80 should be able to get at least one correct – I promise.

The rules:

It's very simple. Every answer contains a reference to a movie, a television show, or a song. Just guess as many as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. You have two chances to comment with your answers.

Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera.

The contest ends Tuesday at midnight EST. I'll give the correct answers and the winner on the following Sunday.

I've tried to make it slightly more Google-proof, although some of them are easily found if you're lazy. Otherwise, it should be simple, but if you have any questions, just ask in the comments.

Ready? Here we go!


1. How did you wake up this morning?
Fully dressed, on top of the covers, on my stomach with my butt in the air and my nose pressed against my pillow.

2. Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
As we fly into the sun to reignite it, I don't get to experience either.

3. Are you wearing any non-clothing items?
A hockey mask, plus I'm carrying a baseball bat and a golf club.

4. What did you do yesterday?
The Triple Lindy.

5. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
No, but I'd keep a watch in my ass.

6. Did you meet anyone new today?
This kid with an upside-down face.

7. Have you ever been on the radio?
Like, the CB Radio? Yeah, my handle was Lost Sheep.

8. What did you drink today?
Ten tons of Sunny D.

9. What's the last bone you broke?
None. But I have stabbed my brain when I had my finger in my nose and my dad launched our car through the air by accident.

10. Where was the last place you went shopping?
I don't shop anymore since I was apprehended shoplifting when I was five years old.

11. When did you go swimming last?
A while ago, when I was a kid. I was drowning when I was rescued by this naked blonde chick off Cape Cod.

12. What book did you read last?
The Necronomicon. When it wasn't trying to bite me.

13. Do you like animals?
Just my friend Rizzo.

14. Are you scared of spiders?
Yes, especially when they're the size of a car. I have to get William Buckley to kill them.

15. How do you walk?
Like Khaba.


And here are the answers and winners from last week's contest :

Here are the questions and answers:

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes, but this time, Susan would probably be arrested. She'll have to wait until I'm 30 for real.
Thanks to the mighty Zoltar! Many of you guessed that this was "Big".

2. Last voicemail you received?
From my friend Marcus. He's in Egypt.
Marcus Brody got lost in Egypt in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when he has the diary containing the location to the Holy Grail.

3. What did you do yesterday?
I traded in my halo to be with this beautiful doctor. Today really sucks, though.
This is Nicolas Cage's angel character from "City of Angels". Some of you didn't like this movie. I love it!

4. What's the first thing you would do with 5 million dollars?
I'd have a Zoroastrian named Wilma shave my testicles ritualistically.
This was a direct quote, by Dr. Evil, from the first Austin Powers movie.

5. What color socks are you wearing?
White. They go well with my white loafers and gray suit.
This is definitely Pee Wee Herman. Not too many of you got this. While I was looking for Pee Wee's Playhouse, since that was first, I gave credit if you mentioned the TV show or the subsequent movies.

6. What are you listening to?
Desperado. Every time I hear it, I stare off into space.
Elaine in Seinfeld had a boyfriend who would do that.

7. How many fingers am i holding up?
Six. On one hand.
Yes, this can be several movies, but the most famous is The Princess Bride.

8. When's the last time you cried?
When Claire died. If she hadn't had to drive me home, she never would have been hit by that drunk driver.
This is the second saddest episode of Law and Order, when the ADA dies while she's driving the drunk Detective Lenny Briscoe (played by the late Jerry Orbach) home after New York's first execution in many years. The saddest episode is when DA Adam Schiff has to take his wife off of lifesupport.

9. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I usually only jump through windows when they're skylights. It makes for a great entrance, especially if there's a bad guy inside.
There are a lot of movies that use this, but in my opinion, the most famous is Batman. That was a signature move of his in the movies.

10. What do you spend most of your money on?
Wigs, women's dresses, makeup, glasses, and everything else I need to be believable as Dorothy Michaels.
This was an easy one for all of you old people. Tootsie.

11. Who has your heart?
It's been totally eclipsed by Bonnie.
Yes, most of you guessed that this was "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. I love this song!

12. Have you ever kissed two people in the same day?
Are we talking about a church kiss?
The first kiss between Adam Sandler's character and Drew Barrymore's character in The Wedding Singer takes place when they're discussing the best way to kiss at a wedding.

13. Do you like yourself?
Only when I think about you. Then I really like myself.
This was just a subtle reference to the DiVinyl's "I Touch Myself". Which I do.

14. What objects are around you right now?
Well, there are some moths, a pit, a hose, a bucket on a rope, and some lotion.
This could be either "Silence of the Lambs" or the Greenskeeper's song, "Lotion", but the latter is too obscure.

15. What's your middle name?
I don't have one. Neither does my brother Ambrose.
Ambrose Monk is the agoraphobic brother of Tony Shalhoub's Adrian Monk, played by John Turturro. Great show – very underrated.

Here's how I chose the winner:

First, I entered everyone's answers into a spreadsheet, giving 1 point for each correct answer and 0 points for each wrong answer. The total number of points equaled the person's "raffle tickets" for the drawing.

Then I created a randomized list using Random.org of every "raffle ticket" – basically each person's name was repeated as many times as they had right answers. This gave me a random list of 231 entries.

Finally, using Random.org again, I asked it to generate a random integer between 1 and 231. It chose #178.

#178 is my winner.

Would you like to know who that is?

(drumroll please)

Paticus!

Congratulations – you win a $30 Amazon.com Gift Card! Email me to confirm your win and give me your address. The rest of you, thank you for playing, and try your luck with today's contest!

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