Geek coming through.

I’m so massively erect right now.

“Why’s that, Adam?” you ask. (Or maybe “What is it this time, PervBoy?”)

It’s not because I finally got my Avril Lavigne manties to wear around the house. It’s not because I downloaded a video of 16-year old Catholic school girls going down on each other. It’s not because I’m watching myself naked on cam, although that always does it.

So what’s the reason? Well, as most of you know, I’m a huge comic geek. I’ve been collecting comics for about ten years, and I have around 30,000 comics, plus tons of statues, action figures, and other random memorabilia.

I was placing my monthly order yesterday, flipping through the Previews catalog, when I came across the erection-inspiring item. I ordered it immediately, and I will sit here, erection in hand, until it ships to me in October. I hope I don’t have any pressing plans over the next six months.

Are you ready to gaze upon the beauty and awesomeness?


Click me for a bigger image

It is a JLA trophy room replica set of Superman’s cape and belt. Ngggggggnnnn.

It has a secret pouch in the cape to hide your glasses! Ooooohhhhhh hominahomina.

The belt also has a secret pouch! Ngmmmmmmm fapfapfapfap.

It has a rack to hang it on, with a plaque that says Superman! Hooff Hff Hff Nggghhh Hff.

I’m going to have it in October! GYAHAGAYGAHHGHHGHHHGHHGHH WHOANELLY THARSHEBLOWS!

Well, at least now I don’t have to worry about the erection anymore.

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63 Responses to Geek coming through.

  1. Karl
    Twitter:
    says:

    That’s pretty freaking hot. Though I’d much rather get inside Wonder Woman’s “magic lasso.”

    :sex023:

    Reply

  2. Amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    there will be pictures in October, right?

    Reply

  3. Sybil Law says:

    I am speechless.
    That doesn’t happen often.
    Sometimes, I wish you’d keep your thoughts to yourself!
    :lmao:
    Enjoy!!
    Oh and I made it! I stayed up late! Yay, me! :clap:

    Reply

  4. Jay
    Twitter:
    says:

    You will be wearing that cape when you make videos for the blog won’t you? And you should probably wear both the cape and the belt to the mall too. The girls will love it!

    Reply

  5. Yeah… I don’t get it.

    Off to watch America’s Next Top Model.

    Reply

  6. bluepaintred says:

    Oh! Oh! So have you decided what you are going to be for Halloween this year?

    Reply

  7. golfwidow says:

    As usual after reading your blog, I now need a cigarette.

    Reply

  8. Hilly says:

    Of all the comic book superheroes, Superman is my favorite. I may be a little wet right now ;)

    Reply

  9. DebbieS says:

    I hope that cape is absorbent and not dry-clean only ;)

    Reply

  10. zanthera says:

    Oh the Halloween pictures are going to be interesting this year.

    Reply

  11. DaisyJo says:

    Will you be ordering a matching full-body blue leotard?

    I can hardly wait!

    Reply

  12. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    I cannot WAIT to try that sucker on!!

    Reply

  13. Sandi says:

    Wow!!! That is incredible….
    the cape, man, the cape.

    Reply

  14. Mike
    Twitter:
    says:

    Wow, when you said you came across this thing, you were not kidding.

    ;-P

    Reply

  15. NYCWD
    Twitter:
    says:

    So… when is Batman’s cape and cowl coming out???

    Reply

  16. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Fuck Superman. Green Lantern, baby!

    Reply

  17. Poppy says:

    You are 4.

    Buy me one for Christmas.

    Reply

  18. Once again, I laughed so hard I cried… at work. That is awesome! You have the perfect spot picked out to display it right?

    Reply

  19. Nanna
    Twitter:
    says:

    OOOOOH. I want tone!

    So I guess your costume for this year’s Halloween party won’t be some cheap ass cheesey T-shirt you thought of at the last minute and only pulled it off because you are native born cool and funny?

    Good.

    Reply

  20. Nanna
    Twitter:
    says:

    No no I don’t want “tone”. I want ONE! Damn – tequila must still be sticking to my keyboard!

    Reply

  21. “Ooooohhhhhh hominahomina”

    wow, I thought only MY husband said that….

    Reply

  22. Robin
    Twitter:
    says:

    Are you going to keep your balls in that secret pouch?

    Reply

  23. turnbaby says:

    After the unicorn thing and now this I imagine your balls would fit inside the secret compartment :batting:

    Reply

  24. Avitable says:

    Karl, yeah, but her lasso makes people tell the truth, so then you’d have to be honest about your fetish for Vietnamese hermaphrodites.

    Amanda, I’m not going to wear it – it’s a collectible!

    Sybil, thanks for staying up just for me!

    Jay, maybe I should order two, so I have one that I can wear. The other has to remain untouched – it’s a collectible.

    Angie, how can you not get it? It’s Superman!

    BPR, heh – it won’t be that easy.

    Golfwidow, I’m smoking, too, but it’s only because of the friction.

    Hilly, I bet you watch Smallville, too, don’t you?

    DebbieS, it’s Superman’s, which means it’s invulnerable.

    Zanthera, there will be no abusing of my cape during Halloween.

    DaisyJo, they don’t make a leotard in “Ginormous”.

    Britt, you’re not getting your fucking hands on it.

    Sandi, the erection, right?

    Mike, yeah, the page I scanned was the “before” version.

    NYCWD, I’m sure that will be coming soon, too.

    Dawn, would that be “scarred” or “scared”? Because both apply.

    Fabulous, Green Lantern is pretty awesome. I almost ordered a lifesize lantern replica, too.

    Poppy, no, I’m 13.

    Melanie, of course I do. I measured it and everything.

    Nanna, cheap ass? Cheesy? That costume was genius and handcrafted!

    The Better Miss Ann Thrope, it’s a common guy phrase.

    Robin, no, my glasses when I change into Superman. My balls will fit in my blue leotard.

    Turnbaby, what does this have to do with ball size? This will make balls grow into balls of steel!

    Reply

  25. Dave2
    Twitter:
    says:

    I hope we both don’t show up to the Avitable-ween Party wearing the same cape! How embarrassing would THAT be?

    Reply

  26. Miss Britt
    Twitter:
    says:

    OK. Whatever you say. :batting:

    Reply

  27. Lady Jaye says:

    WHOANELLY THARSHEBLOWS!

    You totally owe me money for a new computer keyboard since i totally just spewed diet coke all over it.

    Reply

  28. Hilly says:

    Of COURSE I watch Smallville. I really hope Lana is finally off the show, that bitch.

    Reply

  29. Why did you have to go and ruin Superman for me?

    WHY?

    You are so selfish!

    :jerkoff2:

    Reply

  30. metalmom says:

    Oh how incredibly cool!!

    Reply

  31. Dragon says:

    I didn’t know 5 year olds got erections. :)

    Reply

  32. Finn
    Twitter:
    says:

    I want a picture of you, in the cape and belt, with the erection.

    Reply

  33. Avitable says:

    Dave, such a faux pas!

    Britt, fucker!

    Lady Jaye, well, my keyboard is sticky and nasty, too.

    Reply

  34. Trishk says:

    So since we have all agreed this will be the Halloween costume this year, have you been on the look out for the tights?

    I can’t even imagine seeing you in tights…

    Reply

  35. Fig says:

    You’re going to wear that naked, aren’t you?

    Personally I think Lex is hot… it’s the bald head and I have a thing for bad boys.

    Reply

  36. DutchBitch says:

    O.M.G.!!! If not already, we’ll all want a piece of you wearing that!!! :boobs4:

    Reply

  37. Do you think a condom will fit into the secret compartment?? How are you going to hold your erection when clearly you have to put your fists on your hips to make the outfit work??

    Reply

  38. Tracy Lynn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Superman is a sissy. Now if it were Batman….

    Reply

  39. Kay says:

    I demand a picture.
    And that is a mighty impressive container of lube you got there. May I ask where you acquire such a massive amount? Sams Club?

    Reply

  40. Christie says:

    I’ve never been a big fan of Superman’s but that is pretty damn cool!

    Reply

  41. Avitable says:

    TrishK, oh, you dream of it every night. Who are you kidding?

    Fig, I don’t plan on wearing it at all, actually!

    CB, why does everyone think I’d wear this collectible?

    RW, :finger:

    Claudia, the tights will hold the erection in.

    Tracy, Superman’s awesome – don’t be dissing the Kryptonian.

    Kay, of course – I buy all my bulk sex toys there.

    Christie, yes it is!

    Reply

  42. Special K says:

    I respect your appreciation of Superman.

    …..But I totally want to see a pic of you, then Britt, wearing it…..

    YOU HAVE TO WEAR IT AT LEAST ONCE!!!

    Reply

  43. RW says:

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

    Reply

  44. Crys says:

    you should just wear the cape with no underpants. or just the hot pink underpants. and a smile.

    Reply

  45. AmyD says:

    I totally want a picture of you in the cape, doing a happy nekkie dance!!!

    You remind me of Quagmire on Family Guy. You really do. :cock:

    Reply

  46. Avitable says:

    Special K, but it’s meant to be revered, not worn.

    RW, so you want pictures of me in a cape and tights? Hm.

    Crys, you just want my body. Admit it.

    Reply

  47. DutchBitch says:

    Well you will won’t cha? You will get me a pic with you JUST wearing the cape won’t cha? Cuz I’d be totally disappointed and cry *sob* if you don’t *trembling upper lip*

    Reply

  48. that’s gonna look so sweet on you. Maybe you could combine it with the Avitable we saw in your ‘I love my body post.’
    That’ll be hot

    Reply

  49. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    I give you kudos for the comic-book geekiness. I’m a comic-book geek myself.

    But dude…not Superman! He’s awful! I just can’t wrap my head around how much I hate Superman and all he stands for. :loser:

    I wouldn’t mind a powered down Supes…like he was originally intended to be, but the invincible (except for Kryptonite) Supes is just plain boring.

    Give me Batman any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

    Reply

  50. VE says:

    Is there a pocket on the other side for kyrpotnite?

    Reply

  51. buy two. because i so need to do you in that outfit! hawt!

    :boobs3:

    Reply

  52. Kylah says:

    I’m so jealous of your belt and cape.

    Reply

  53. Avitable says:

    DB, I think you’d be more disappointed if you actually got the pic!

    FreelanceGuru, cheeseburger and all?

    BE Earl, when he’s written correctly, Superman is much better than any other hero out there. Try Kingdom Come. Or Byrne’s relaunch. Amazing stuff. I’m a Batman fan, too, but he’s no Superman.

    VE, why would Superman carry Kryptonite with him? It would kill him!

    Hello, now that would be a sweaty tangled mess, wouldn’t it?!

    Kylah, you should be – it will be awesome!

    Reply

  54. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    Byrne’s relaunch was the closest thing to decent Superman that I have seen, but that didn’t even do it for me.

    Ah…I’ve got John Byrne issues too. We had a little spat in the letters pages of the Comic Buyer’s Guide about 15 years ago. I haven’t gotten over it.

    Reply

  55. Avitable says:

    BE Earl, well, Byrne’s a total asshole, and his work has deteriorated significantly, so I can understand that. Have you tried the new All-Star Superman by Morrison and Quitely? It’s outstanding. And once again, Kingdom Come is a great example of an excellent story.

    Reply

  56. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    Kingdom Come was great. I’m a big Alex Ross fan. But I didn’t see that as a traditional Superman comic-book. More akin to Ross’ Marvels or Moore’s Watchmen…the story that Ross envisioned “Kingdom Come” becoming in one way or another.

    I dig Morrison. His runs on Animal Man and Doom Patrol are some of my very favorite comic-books. I haven’t been reading much lately. My comic-book collecting/reading reached its peak in the late 80′s/early 90′s and it has diminished to a trickle since 96 or 97. Sigh.

    Reply

  57. Avitable says:

    BE, I see Kingdom Come as a definitive Superman story – it’s all about his abandonment of society and the chaos that results. Morrison is excellent, and he wrote a great Superman in his JLA run, which was spectacular. But his recent All Star Superman series has been completely outstanding.

    Reply

  58. kapgar
    Twitter:
    says:

    Do I have permission to drool, too?

    Reply

  59. Avitable says:

    Kapgar, permission granted!

    Reply

  60. Gwen says:

    Dude, if I had a penis we could be saluting this mighty cape together. That, my friend, is a thing of pure awesome.

    Reply

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