I'm so massively erect right now.
"Why's that, Adam?" you ask. (Or maybe "What is it this time, PervBoy?")
It's not because I finally got my Avril Lavigne manties to wear around the house. It's not because I downloaded a video of 16-year old Catholic school girls going down on each other. It's not because I'm watching myself naked on cam, although that always does it.
So what's the reason? Well, as most of you know, I'm a huge comic geek. I've been collecting comics for about ten years, and I have around 30,000 comics, plus tons of statues, action figures, and other random memorabilia.
I was placing my monthly order yesterday, flipping through the Previews catalog, when I came across the erection-inspiring item. I ordered it immediately, and I will sit here, erection in hand, until it ships to me in October. I hope I don't have any pressing plans over the next six months.
Are you ready to gaze upon the beauty and awesomeness?
Click me for a bigger image
It is a JLA trophy room replica set of Superman's cape and belt. Ngggggggnnnn.
It has a secret pouch in the cape to hide your glasses! Ooooohhhhhh hominahomina.
The belt also has a secret pouch! Ngmmmmmmm fapfapfapfap.
It has a rack to hang it on, with a plaque that says Superman! Hooff Hff Hff Nggghhh Hff.
I'm going to have it in October! GYAHAGAYGAHHGHHGHHHGHHGHH WHOANELLY THARSHEBLOWS!
Well, at least now I don't have to worry about the erection anymore.
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That's pretty freaking hot. Though I'd much rather get inside Wonder Woman's "magic lasso."
Comments by Karl
there will be pictures in October, right?
Comments by Amanda
I am speechless.
That doesn't happen often.
Sometimes, I wish you'd keep your thoughts to yourself!
Enjoy!!
Oh and I made it! I stayed up late! Yay, me!
Comments by Sybil Law
You will be wearing that cape when you make videos for the blog won't you? And you should probably wear both the cape and the belt to the mall too. The girls will love it!
Comments by Jay
Yeah... I don't get it.
Off to watch America's Next Top Model.
Comments by A Whole Lot of Nothing / Angie
Oh! Oh! So have you decided what you are going to be for Halloween this year?
Comments by bluepaintred
As usual after reading your blog, I now need a cigarette.
Comments by golfwidow
Of all the comic book superheroes, Superman is my favorite. I may be a little wet right now ;)
Comments by Hilly
I hope that cape is absorbent and not dry-clean only ;)
Comments by DebbieS
Oh the Halloween pictures are going to be interesting this year.
Comments by zanthera
Will you be ordering a matching full-body blue leotard?
I can hardly wait!
Comments by DaisyJo
I cannot WAIT to try that sucker on!!
Comments by Miss Britt
Wow!!! That is incredible....
the cape, man, the cape.
Comments by Sandi
Wow, when you said you came across this thing, you were not kidding.
;-P
Comments by Mike
So... when is Batman's cape and cowl coming out???
Comments by NYCWD
I'm skard now.
Comments by Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You
Fuck Superman. Green Lantern, baby!
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
You are 4.
Buy me one for Christmas.
Comments by Poppy
Once again, I laughed so hard I cried... at work. That is awesome! You have the perfect spot picked out to display it right?
Comments by Melanie Marie
OOOOOH. I want tone!
So I guess your costume for this year's Halloween party won't be some cheap ass cheesey T-shirt you thought of at the last minute and only pulled it off because you are native born cool and funny?
Good.
Comments by Nanna
No no I don't want "tone". I want ONE! Damn - tequila must still be sticking to my keyboard!
Comments by Nanna
"Ooooohhhhhh hominahomina"
wow, I thought only MY husband said that....
Comments by The OTHER Miss AnnThrope
Are you going to keep your balls in that secret pouch?
Comments by Robin
After the unicorn thing and now this I imagine your balls would fit inside the secret compartment
Comments by turnbaby
Karl, yeah, but her lasso makes people tell the truth, so then you'd have to be honest about your fetish for Vietnamese hermaphrodites.
Amanda, I'm not going to wear it - it's a collectible!
Sybil, thanks for staying up just for me!
Jay, maybe I should order two, so I have one that I can wear. The other has to remain untouched - it's a collectible.
Angie, how can you not get it? It's Superman!
BPR, heh - it won't be that easy.
Golfwidow, I'm smoking, too, but it's only because of the friction.
Hilly, I bet you watch Smallville, too, don't you?
DebbieS, it's Superman's, which means it's invulnerable.
Zanthera, there will be no abusing of my cape during Halloween.
DaisyJo, they don't make a leotard in "Ginormous".
Britt, you're not getting your fucking hands on it.
Sandi, the erection, right?
Mike, yeah, the page I scanned was the "before" version.
NYCWD, I'm sure that will be coming soon, too.
Dawn, would that be "scarred" or "scared"? Because both apply.
Fabulous, Green Lantern is pretty awesome. I almost ordered a lifesize lantern replica, too.
Poppy, no, I'm 13.
Melanie, of course I do. I measured it and everything.
Nanna, cheap ass? Cheesy? That costume was genius and handcrafted!
The Better Miss Ann Thrope, it's a common guy phrase.
Robin, no, my glasses when I change into Superman. My balls will fit in my blue leotard.
Turnbaby, what does this have to do with ball size? This will make balls grow into balls of steel!
Comments by Avitable
I hope we both don't show up to the Avitable-ween Party wearing the same cape! How embarrassing would THAT be?
Comments by Dave2
OK. Whatever you say.
Comments by Miss Britt
WHOANELLY THARSHEBLOWS!
You totally owe me money for a new computer keyboard since i totally just spewed diet coke all over it.
Comments by Lady Jaye
Of COURSE I watch Smallville. I really hope Lana is finally off the show, that bitch.
Comments by Hilly
Why did you have to go and ruin Superman for me?
WHY?
You are so selfish!
Comments by themuttprincess
Oh how incredibly cool!!
Comments by metalmom
I didn't know 5 year olds got erections. :)
Comments by Dragon
I want a picture of you, in the cape and belt, with the erection.
Comments by Finn
Dave, such a faux pas!
Britt, fucker!
Lady Jaye, well, my keyboard is sticky and nasty, too.
Comments by Avitable
So since we have all agreed this will be the Halloween costume this year, have you been on the look out for the tights?
I can't even imagine seeing you in tights...
Comments by Trishk
You're going to wear that naked, aren't you?
Personally I think Lex is hot... it's the bald head and I have a thing for bad boys.
Comments by Fig
O.M.G.!!! If not already, we'll all want a piece of you wearing that!!!
Comments by DutchBitch
That sucks.
Comments by RW
Do you think a condom will fit into the secret compartment?? How are you going to hold your erection when clearly you have to put your fists on your hips to make the outfit work??
Comments by On a Limb with Claudia
Superman is a sissy. Now if it were Batman....
Comments by Tracy Lynn
I demand a picture.
And that is a mighty impressive container of lube you got there. May I ask where you acquire such a massive amount? Sams Club?
Comments by Kay
I've never been a big fan of Superman's but that is pretty damn cool!
Comments by Christie
TrishK, oh, you dream of it every night. Who are you kidding?
Fig, I don't plan on wearing it at all, actually!
CB, why does everyone think I'd wear this collectible?
RW,
Claudia, the tights will hold the erection in.
Tracy, Superman's awesome - don't be dissing the Kryptonian.
Kay, of course - I buy all my bulk sex toys there.
Christie, yes it is!
Comments by Avitable
I respect your appreciation of Superman.
.....But I totally want to see a pic of you, then Britt, wearing it.....
YOU HAVE TO WEAR IT AT LEAST ONCE!!!
Comments by Special K
Pics or it didn't happen.
Comments by RW
you should just wear the cape with no underpants. or just the hot pink underpants. and a smile.
Comments by Crys
I totally want a picture of you in the cape, doing a happy nekkie dance!!!
You remind me of Quagmire on Family Guy. You really do.
Comments by AmyD
Special K, but it's meant to be revered, not worn.
RW, so you want pictures of me in a cape and tights? Hm.
Crys, you just want my body. Admit it.
Comments by Avitable
AmyD, giggity.
Comments by Avitable
Well you will won't cha? You will get me a pic with you JUST wearing the cape won't cha? Cuz I'd be totally disappointed and cry *sob* if you don't *trembling upper lip*
Comments by DutchBitch
that's gonna look so sweet on you. Maybe you could combine it with the Avitable we saw in your 'I love my body post.'
That'll be hot
Comments by Freelanceguru
I give you kudos for the comic-book geekiness. I'm a comic-book geek myself.
But dude...not Superman! He's awful! I just can't wrap my head around how much I hate Superman and all he stands for.
I wouldn't mind a powered down Supes...like he was originally intended to be, but the invincible (except for Kryptonite) Supes is just plain boring.
Give me Batman any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Comments by B.E. Earl
Is there a pocket on the other side for kyrpotnite?
Comments by VE
buy two. because i so need to do you in that outfit! hawt!
Comments by hello haha narf
I'm so jealous of your belt and cape.
Comments by Kylah
DB, I think you'd be more disappointed if you actually got the pic!
FreelanceGuru, cheeseburger and all?
BE Earl, when he's written correctly, Superman is much better than any other hero out there. Try Kingdom Come. Or Byrne's relaunch. Amazing stuff. I'm a Batman fan, too, but he's no Superman.
VE, why would Superman carry Kryptonite with him? It would kill him!
Hello, now that would be a sweaty tangled mess, wouldn't it?!
Kylah, you should be - it will be awesome!
Comments by Avitable
Byrne's relaunch was the closest thing to decent Superman that I have seen, but that didn't even do it for me.
Ah...I've got John Byrne issues too. We had a little spat in the letters pages of the Comic Buyer's Guide about 15 years ago. I haven't gotten over it.
Comments by B.E. Earl
BE Earl, well, Byrne's a total asshole, and his work has deteriorated significantly, so I can understand that. Have you tried the new All-Star Superman by Morrison and Quitely? It's outstanding. And once again, Kingdom Come is a great example of an excellent story.
Comments by Avitable
Kingdom Come was great. I'm a big Alex Ross fan. But I didn't see that as a traditional Superman comic-book. More akin to Ross' Marvels or Moore's Watchmen...the story that Ross envisioned "Kingdom Come" becoming in one way or another.
I dig Morrison. His runs on Animal Man and Doom Patrol are some of my very favorite comic-books. I haven't been reading much lately. My comic-book collecting/reading reached its peak in the late 80's/early 90's and it has diminished to a trickle since 96 or 97. Sigh.
Comments by B.E. Earl
BE, I see Kingdom Come as a definitive Superman story - it's all about his abandonment of society and the chaos that results. Morrison is excellent, and he wrote a great Superman in his JLA run, which was spectacular. But his recent All Star Superman series has been completely outstanding.
Comments by Avitable
Do I have permission to drool, too?
Comments by kapgar
Kapgar, permission granted!
Comments by Avitable
Dude, if I had a penis we could be saluting this mighty cape together. That, my friend, is a thing of pure awesome.
Comments by Gwen