It's so amazing that when I am looking at the night sky in Tallahassee, I could be seeing the same Miss Britt that a petty criminal in Malaysia wishes he could see if his cell had a window.
Does this mean that when we come to Florida in September that I'll have to contact NASA if I want to meet her? You bastard. Couldn't you have installed a Britt-proof toilet?
Oh you fucking liar! Honestly. Wouldn't it have been easier to clean the office than to go through the hassle of finding an exploding toilet and killing Britt?
I even bought a pink babydoll shirt the other with birds on it! I should wear it to Philly under my Lose the Bastard shirt for when the tequila makes me start stripping my clothes off.
Appendix on right side. Problems occur when you push in with no pain, and the pain is worse when you let go and it comes back out. Does that make sense? Pushing it doesn't hurt; letting go hurts.
And yes, it is lower than where she was pushing. LOLOL
Think globally people. We need to find a way to harness the garlicky power of Britt's ass for alternative fuel sources. Despite the smell, think green! I'm sure the byproducts could included paper plates for your summer picnics.
Star Light, Star Bright, First Britt I see tonight.
Get OUT of my bathroom. We had this whole scenario at our house last Sunday night.
I feel her pain.
That happened to me the other day
Well, sort of. The stomach pain thing happened, then I took a huge shit. Then I remembered that the toilet at the place I was at doesn't work. I sure wouldn't want to be the next guy that shows up at there.
It's so amazing that when I am looking at the night sky in Tallahassee, I could be seeing the same Miss Britt that a petty criminal in Malaysia wishes he could see if his cell had a window.
Comments by Deb on the Rocks
Oh great.
Now I have to poop.
Comments by Stephanie
Poor Britt. That's an awful way to go.
I was looking forward to seeing your clean office, I still have nightmares about the dirtiness.
Comments by Amanda
Does this mean that when we come to Florida in September that I'll have to contact NASA if I want to meet her? You bastard. Couldn't you have installed a Britt-proof toilet?
Comments by Mrs RW
I wondered why the night sky here in California was suddenly bright and smelly.
Comments by Mary
Garlic does that to me too.
Glad you're ok, Britt. Love the Love shirt, and those pants!
(omg, I'm girly now. crap.)
Comments by Poppy
RIP Britt
At least that smoke smell won't be in your kitchen trash but will now blanket the Orlando area.
In recent years, I've had my bouts with IBS and hours in the shitter. Not fun. Nooooot fun.
BTW - I've requested your services. Details on my latest post.
Comments by A Whole Lot of Nothing / Angie
Bastard. If I wanted to READ I wouldn't watch a fucking video!
Too bad you didn't record soundbytes outside the bathroom while she was wrestling the alligator.
Comments by Karl
Deb, I know - isn't it romantic?
Stephanie, good luck! Hold on tightly.
Amanda, it's getting nice and clean now, too.
Mrs. RW, nothing's Britt proof.
Mary, well, it wouldn't be smelly. Have you met Britt? Her shit doesn't stink.
Poppy, you are girly? WTF?
Angie, I was just joking about her spending an hour in the bathroom, but thanks for sharing personal details about IBS! :)
Karl, hippo, not alligator. Big difference. Less growling, more splashing.
Comments by Avitable
And here I thought Britt was having sympathy pains for me! My right side feels like it's about ready to explode "Alien-style" any minute now...
Comments by Dave2
I'm totally going outside and wishing on the first Britt I see tonight.
Comments by golfwidow
Oh you fucking liar! Honestly. Wouldn't it have been easier to clean the office than to go through the hassle of finding an exploding toilet and killing Britt?
Comments by bluepaintred
Pure genius.
Comments by Dan
That was tooo funny!!
You're such a sympathetic friend "Well, stop breathing then!"
Comments by Penelope
Any idea what her trajectory is, cause I could set up a net if she's comin this way!
Comments by Trukindog
I wanted to let you know... my stomach still hurts this morning.
Comments by Miss Britt
what does garlic have to do with anything?
Comments by hello haha narf
Dave, it probably was sympathy pains.
Golfwidow, she'll be unmistakeable.
BPR, the office is actually clean, I swear!
Dan, me or Britt's explodin' bum?
Penelope, that makes logical sense to me.
Trukindog, no, it's quite erratic.
Britt, well, stop breathing!
Hello, it's a fictional story. I can make my own rules, dammit.
Comments by Avitable
That was just about priceless
And it better not be true
Comments by ADW
I even bought a pink babydoll shirt the other with birds on it! I should wear it to Philly under my Lose the Bastard shirt for when the tequila makes me start stripping my clothes off.
Comments by Poppy
hahaha. YOu always have the greatest videos.
Appendix on right side. Problems occur when you push in with no pain, and the pain is worse when you let go and it comes back out. Does that make sense? Pushing it doesn't hurt; letting go hurts.
And yes, it is lower than where she was pushing. LOLOL
Comments by The Absurdist
Great, now Not a Grampy will be staring at the night sky instead of staring lovingly at me!
Thanks.
Comments by trishk_fl@yahoo.com
So now I'm signing the Fleetwood Mac song Gypsy like this..."So it all comes down to poo...don't you know that poo strikes, maybe once, maybe twice".
Gee, thanks :)
Comments by Hilly
Think globally people. We need to find a way to harness the garlicky power of Britt's ass for alternative fuel sources. Despite the smell, think green! I'm sure the byproducts could included paper plates for your summer picnics.
Comments by jester
Jester, are you cracksmokedly suggesting I eat from poo plates?
NUM!
Comments by Poppy
OMFG! Fabulous...Poor Britt.
Comments by Rachel
ADW, it's not.
Poppy, I don't get the whole "lose the bastard" thing.
Absurdist, yeah she wasn't pushing anywhere near most appendices really are.
TrishK, just listen carefully for her delicate voice.
Hilly, the title comes from the musical Scrubs episode.
Jester, there's no smell. Her butt smells like beautiful roses. And no, she's not making me say that. Ow!
Poppy, num?
Rachel, poor Britt? What about my house?
Comments by Avitable
lol. but unfortunately, due to the flood you cant offer proof in the form of video, eh?
Comments by bluepaintred
Ask Britt, she's the one who thought it up.
Comments by Poppy
Err, or, maybe Crys did.
POINT BEING: I didn't make it up, and I don't take credit for others' work.
Comments by Poppy
I nearly died laughing so hard. My god you two. All this laughing is gonna kill me! fucking hilarious!
Comments by Cissa Fireheart
Hahahaha
Do you know how often she orbits? I need to make a wish!
Comments by Sybil Law
Star Light, Star Bright, First Britt I see tonight.
Get OUT of my bathroom. We had this whole scenario at our house last Sunday night.
I feel her pain.
Comments by Little Miss Sunshine State
That happened to me the other day
Well, sort of. The stomach pain thing happened, then I took a huge shit. Then I remembered that the toilet at the place I was at doesn't work. I sure wouldn't want to be the next guy that shows up at there.
Comments by Nobody™
I found this oddly intriguing.
Comments by m