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Vaginas abound

This post will be low on talky talky and high on showy showy because I’m still recovering from Saturday night. At 4:00 Saturday afternoon, accompanied by a crack of lightning and a rumble of thunder, the gorgeous and crude ADW showed up at my door. After insisting that I suck her toes, she made me get her luggage for her one night stay. There were 14 bags, 6 of which contained only shoes.

We hung out on the porch and she punched my nuts like a speed bag for an hour while we waited for Britt to show up. ADW decided to go shower off the gorilla splooge from her hair (and the videos from the hidden camera in my guest bathroom will be available for download later at a low, low cost of $69.99 each), and I put some tranny porn up on the TV to occupy myself. About ten minutes later, I got the phone call that Britt had decided to help push a car that was stopping ahead of her on the interstate. Her method of helping was to drive directly into the back of this stopped car and leave her front bumper and headlights on the side of the road. I’m sure she’ll talk more about that this week.

Once we determined that Britt was physically okay (mentally was another question altogether), we stood anxiously by the front door, alcoholic drink in hand. Finally, Britt drove the remainder of her car up to my house, stormed in like a little Brittnado, and we were off to Universal CityWalk.

Can you blame me if I was already exhausted by the time we got there?

I tried to take some pictures, but in a low-light environment, the iPhone is not exactly an optimal choice for photography:

ADW. I think.

ADW again. Or a fireworks show.


Luckily, Britt had her camera, so there were a couple of decent photos:

Finally, after getting back to my house around 3 AM, the girls made a video. It was about 15 minutes long and rambling and strange, but here are the highlights:

(and a direct link if you need it).

Ok. It’s Sunday night, way too early, and I’m exhausted. Good night, fuckers.

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44 Replies to “Vaginas abound”

  1. Mary

    I usually feel pretty sorry for Britt, having to deal with you and all.
    Tonight’s video changed things for me.

    You are a strong man. Hang tough with the vaginas.

  2. TSM

    Okay…it’s TOTALLY not fair that you went karaoke’ing without me. Also? Not fair that y’all live so DAMNED FAR AWAY. Why can’t my own kind be near to me?

    Sounds like fun was had by all, and the talk of vaginas will be remembered for years to come. Good times!

  3. ADW

    Whenever I need a laugh, I am going to rewatch that video. Can’t wait till next time.

    That is, if I am invited back after the testicular speed-bag workout.

    And Britt: I may have been a titch more sober. But just a titch. (I know it’s tetch, or something like that, but titch has tit in it.)

    Peace out bitches!!

  4. Avitable

    Amanda, yeah, she is, and she has a mouth like a sailor mixed with a construction worker.

    Mary, they’re fun to be around.

    Jay, you should have seen the nudity parts I had to cut out.

    Hello, I thought she was going to, too! That would be the second time she almost puked on my computer.

    Angie, I wore my steel cup.

    Poppy, she’s intense like that.

    TSM, it was a good time. It’s just a quick plane ride from Oregon to Florida. You should join us.

    Freelance, it’s worth it, even with the penis torture.

    Britt, well, I think she was only buzzed by that point.

    Sandi, it was very much fun!

    Crystal, what about me?

    ADW, you’re always invited back, but only if you don’t shave my balls again when I’m sleeping.

    BE Earl, Quatto, you mean? And I think it was actually a Yoda porn reference.

    Golfwidow, you should see her eat a taco.

    Fab, it’s my wallpaper on my desktop.

  5. Nina

    How weird is it that I had a dream last night about meeting you and Some Other Blogger at a Budget rental car office in Orlando? And how weird is it that we were eating tacos and renting a Cadillac Escalade? I am not making that up. You, me, Someone, tacos, Escalade.

    Oh and ADW and Britt and really pretty. So are you.

  6. AmyD

    :lmao: :clap:

    Every time there is a drunk Britt video I am always worried you will have to spend the next day cleaning vomit out of your keyboard… and off your monitor… probably your shoes…

  7. Avitable

    Robin, woozy or like a floozy?

    Absurdist, nah, I’ve got a good spelunker around here.

    Nanna, yeah, you’re missing out if you don’t have sound!

    TMP, it was very fun. And exhausting.

    Nina, oh, who are you kidding? You dream about me and the back seat of an Escalade every night!

    Lady Jaye, why wasn’t she before? Because she totally should have been.

    Tracy, you wanna see it?

    AmyD, it’s close, every time!

  8. NYCWD

    Your eye for the composition of blurriness is second only to your trained handed at highlighting the highlights.

    I’m also with Karl about the video.

    Where can I pre-order?

  9. Avitable

    Othurme, snuggle videos with two hot women? It would make millions!

    Grant, I’ll dress like one.

    Karl, making out AND having sex? And, from the icon you chose, pooping on each other?

    NYCWD, you’ll be contacted with payment instructions.

    Sybil, well, I took the ones with Britt’s camera, too. So I’m a good and bad photographer all at the same time!

  10. Zom

    holy mother of FUCK!
    ADW is wayyyyyy hotter that her comment icon.
    now when I masturbate to her ….. I’ll have a more accurate portrayal of her loveliness.
    *squirt* SEE? it’s already working

  11. maggie, dammit

    “It’s grotto-like.”

    That does it. I am ditching my entire life and moving there. Kids, work, husband, clothes, be damned. I am insanely jealous of your lives in this moment.

    (I especially love your body-less devil impersonation.)

  12. Avitable

    CMG, I would have had a hard time holding the camera with one hand.

    Rattling the Kettle, you do say?

    Zom, I think you’re lactating, not masturbating. And she is very hot.

    Maggie, the floating head trick has thrilled audiences for generations.

    Sarcastica, damn backwards Canadians!

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