This post will be low on talky talky and high on showy showy because I'm still recovering from Saturday night. At 4:00 Saturday afternoon, accompanied by a crack of lightning and a rumble of thunder, the gorgeous and crude ADW showed up at my door. After insisting that I suck her toes, she made me get her luggage for her one night stay. There were 14 bags, 6 of which contained only shoes.
We hung out on the porch and she punched my nuts like a speed bag for an hour while we waited for Britt to show up. ADW decided to go shower off the gorilla splooge from her hair (and the videos from the hidden camera in my guest bathroom will be available for download later at a low, low cost of $69.99 each), and I put some tranny porn up on the TV to occupy myself. About ten minutes later, I got the phone call that Britt had decided to help push a car that was stopping ahead of her on the interstate. Her method of helping was to drive directly into the back of this stopped car and leave her front bumper and headlights on the side of the road. I'm sure she'll talk more about that this week.
Once we determined that Britt was physically okay (mentally was another question altogether), we stood anxiously by the front door, alcoholic drink in hand. Finally, Britt drove the remainder of her car up to my house, stormed in like a little Brittnado, and we were off to Universal CityWalk.
Can you blame me if I was already exhausted by the time we got there?
I tried to take some pictures, but in a low-light environment, the iPhone is not exactly an optimal choice for photography:
ADW. I think.
ADW again. Or a fireworks show.
Brittini.
Luckily, Britt had her camera, so there were a couple of decent photos:
Finally, after getting back to my house around 3 AM, the girls made a video. It was about 15 minutes long and rambling and strange, but here are the highlights:
(and a direct link if you need it).
Ok. It's Sunday night, way too early, and I'm exhausted. Good night, fuckers.
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It looks like a good time! ADW sure is pretty.
Comments by Amanda
I usually feel pretty sorry for Britt, having to deal with you and all.
Tonight's video changed things for me.
You are a strong man. Hang tough with the vaginas.
Comments by Mary
That video was extremely arousing.
Comments by Jay
i thought britt was gonna hurl when she burped!
thanks for the video. the laugh was just what i needed, even if i woke up my dogs from my howling.
bring on tequilacon!
Comments by hello haha narf
How'd you survive the night with TWO Britts?
Comments by A Whole Lot of Nothing / Angie
I can't handle how intensely ADW is gazing into my eyes. I think she's trying to bring me to the hazel-eyed dark side, of which I am already a member.
Comments by Poppy
Okay...it's TOTALLY not fair that you went karaoke'ing without me. Also? Not fair that y'all live so DAMNED FAR AWAY. Why can't my own kind be near to me?
Sounds like fun was had by all, and the talk of vaginas will be remembered for years to come. Good times!
Comments by TSM
You're a braver man than me :)
Comments by Freelance Guru
Why does ADW look so hot and sober here?
Damn it.
Comments by Miss Britt
Oh that looks like so much fun!
I wanna be your friends tooooooooo..
Comments by Sandi
now those are some smoking hot blond ladies...
Comments by Crys
Whenever I need a laugh, I am going to rewatch that video. Can't wait till next time.
That is, if I am invited back after the testicular speed-bag workout.
And Britt: I may have been a titch more sober. But just a titch. (I know it's tetch, or something like that, but titch has tit in it.)
Peace out bitches!!
Comments by ADW
Was that a "Total Recall" Guado reference in there? Very nice!
Comments by B.E. Earl
I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), but ADW's mouth looks vaguely scrumptious. That is all. Carry on.
Comments by golfwidow
That last photo is smoking hot. I may have it blow up and laminated for...um...later.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
Amanda, yeah, she is, and she has a mouth like a sailor mixed with a construction worker.
Mary, they're fun to be around.
Jay, you should have seen the nudity parts I had to cut out.
Hello, I thought she was going to, too! That would be the second time she almost puked on my computer.
Angie, I wore my steel cup.
Poppy, she's intense like that.
TSM, it was a good time. It's just a quick plane ride from Oregon to Florida. You should join us.
Freelance, it's worth it, even with the penis torture.
Britt, well, I think she was only buzzed by that point.
Sandi, it was very much fun!
Crystal, what about me?
ADW, you're always invited back, but only if you don't shave my balls again when I'm sleeping.
BE Earl, Quatto, you mean? And I think it was actually a Yoda porn reference.
Golfwidow, you should see her eat a taco.
Fab, it's my wallpaper on my desktop.
Comments by Avitable
I feel woozy just looking at those pictures...
Comments by Robin
A long, watery, echoing vagina is a sign of something very very bad. Do you need a reference for a good OBGYN Avi?
Comments by The Absurdist
Wow ADW is LOVELY. Damnit, I gotta get a sound card for this computer!!
Comments by Nanna
Sounds like a totally rockin' evening!!!
Comments by themuttprincess
How weird is it that I had a dream last night about meeting you and Some Other Blogger at a Budget rental car office in Orlando? And how weird is it that we were eating tacos and renting a Cadillac Escalade? I am not making that up. You, me, Someone, tacos, Escalade.
Oh and ADW and Britt and really pretty. So are you.
Comments by Nina
Miss Brit is officially my hero after watching that video.
Comments by Lady Jaye
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Avitable has a vagina.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
Every time there is a drunk Britt video I am always worried you will have to spend the next day cleaning vomit out of your keyboard... and off your monitor... probably your shoes...
Comments by AmyD
Robin, woozy or like a floozy?
Absurdist, nah, I've got a good spelunker around here.
Nanna, yeah, you're missing out if you don't have sound!
TMP, it was very fun. And exhausting.
Nina, oh, who are you kidding? You dream about me and the back seat of an Escalade every night!
Lady Jaye, why wasn't she before? Because she totally should have been.
Tracy, you wanna see it?
AmyD, it's close, every time!
Comments by Avitable
I think you should have made a snuggle video. There has to be a fetish market for that where good money could be had.
Comments by othurme
I hope the upcoming videos for sale include the two of them making out. I'll pay extra if they or you dress like Japanese schoolgirls.
Comments by Grant
I'd totally pay $69.95 for a video of Britt and ADW making out and having sex.
Comments by Karl
Your eye for the composition of blurriness is second only to your trained handed at highlighting the highlights.
I'm also with Karl about the video.
Where can I pre-order?
Comments by NYCWD
Lovely drunken ladies! Whoohooooo!
Those pictures were great - the ones Britt took, I mean. In the ones you took, the boobs looked oddly like hands, or something.
Fun times!!
Comments by Sybil Law
Othurme, snuggle videos with two hot women? It would make millions!
Grant, I'll dress like one.
Karl, making out AND having sex? And, from the icon you chose, pooping on each other?
NYCWD, you'll be contacted with payment instructions.
Sybil, well, I took the ones with Britt's camera, too. So I'm a good and bad photographer all at the same time!
Comments by Avitable
Adam, wait...is that wrong of me?
Comments by Karl
Nah, I'm with you on that one.
Comments by Avitable
Wait, just bathroom footage of her washing the gorilla splooge off? You didn't get footage of her fucking Britt? Now THAT I would have purchased!
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
I don't want to cast dispersions on people, but I believe that the ladies in this video were drunk.
Comments by Rattling the Kettle
holy mother of FUCK!
ADW is wayyyyyy hotter that her comment icon.
now when I masturbate to her ..... I'll have a more accurate portrayal of her loveliness.
*squirt* SEE? it's already working
Comments by Zom
can I borrow a sock?
Comments by Zom
"It's grotto-like."
That does it. I am ditching my entire life and moving there. Kids, work, husband, clothes, be damned. I am insanely jealous of your lives in this moment.
(I especially love your body-less devil impersonation.)
Comments by maggie, dammit
Damnit. I wish I could watch that video. Stupid dialup!
Comments by Sarcastica
CMG, I would have had a hard time holding the camera with one hand.
Rattling the Kettle, you do say?
Zom, I think you're lactating, not masturbating. And she is very hot.
Maggie, the floating head trick has thrilled audiences for generations.
Sarcastica, damn backwards Canadians!
Comments by Avitable
The last time I saw pictures that sleazy was the night I was in a 25 cent peep show with my johnson in hand.
Comments by Keith M
Keith, nah - what about the time you went to your mom's house for dinner?
Comments by Avitable
Sleazy is the new HAWT!
Comments by Miss Britt
"Sleazy is the new HAWT!"
This is exactly the kind of thing a lot of us around here have been hoping for.
Comments by othurme