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Here’s where I get creepy

How could I forget? Tuesday was a day of momentous occasion, and I let it slip by with nary a mention. I blame it on my crystal meth addiction.

Since Tuesday, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can be happy and sing and dance and do things that would have previously made me feel dirty and shamed.

Because on Tuesday, you see, Emma Watson (aka Hermione Granger) turned 18.

I no longer have to feel weird about being a member of her fan club.

I don’t have to feel bad about masturbating to this, this or this (really NSFW).

I can proudly reveal that I named my penis Hermione.

I will not be ashamed of my bids on the eBay auction for a pair of her panties.

I will no longer slink to the Harry Potter movies naked under my raincoat. I will walk in with my head high.

Now, how long until Dakota Fanning is legal?

(For those of you who feel left out by the fake naked picture of Emma Watson, here are some real naked pictures of Daniel Radcliffe.)

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71 Replies to “Here’s where I get creepy”

  1. TSM

    I clicked on it. Why did I click on it? And why are English boys not circumcised?? That’s just…I don’t know…hard to service. Harder, rather. Ugh. Don’t leave comments when drinking, TSM.

  2. Jay

    She okay I guess.

    I think that Miley Cyrus actually turns 18 before Dakota Fanning. I mean, I’m just guessing. I don’t know these things. I just think she’s older than Dakota, that’s all.

  3. AmyD

    THIS is where you get creepy?

    Not here?

    or HERE?

    OR HERE?

    *sigh* never mind. I’m too lazy tired to link those to posts. Just think, snakes, dolphins, severed thumbs, and men hanging by their testicles.


  4. Winter

    I’ll be a total ass kisser and say that you aren’t creepy. What’s creepy are the men who think this stuff and worse, never speak of it, and molest little girls from their daughter’s brownie troupe. You’re just filled with wicked humor. I like that. Oh! And I’d already seen Harry’s wand.

  5. Functionally ReTodded

    First, she’s pretty cute. Way cuter drinking underage than showing her panties on letterman.

    Second, this is about a 2 out of 10 on the Avitable creep meter.

    That said, this girl turning 18 isn’t even close to, say, Anna Kournikova turning 18. Shit, I remember being excited when she turned sixteen.

    And since no one else reads this, I can not WAIT for Miley Cyrus to turn 18.

  6. Avitable

    Angie, I’m an equal opportunity pornographer.

    Dave, and if she needs a broomstick . . .

    Karl, before I was just sick. This makes it creepy.

    Amanda, actually, he was 16, I think. But the photo was taken in England, where he’s of legal age.

    Nobody, I guess I should just accept it.

    Hilly, I’ve got a semi-tame in my pants.

    ADW, well, nothing will faze you, twatstick.

    Jason, it just needed to be said, ya know?

    TSM, I don’t think it affects the servicing.

    Mary, no? Why not?

    Karen, hahahahahahahahahaha! I promise the dungeon I have for her is nicely decorated.

    Jay, Miley Cyrus just doesn’t do it for me.

    AmyD, this feels creepier to me.

    Winter, this is true. I’d never actually touch a girl who was below the age of consent in that state. We’d have to get in the car and drive to Arkansas.

    Mike, that was my little secret and you just went and ruined it!

    DaDuck, yeah, and they hid the volume control, too.

    Sarah, sometimes my penis acts like a witch.

    Memphis, how did I miss that post?

    Jerrster, well, there you go.

    Penelope, yes! Shit.

    Dee, for a young lad? Do you like old men instead?

    NYCWD, I’ll give her a ride on my broomstick.

    Todd, yeah, Anna Kournikova was a momentous occasion too.

  7. Em

    I just got into the whole Harry Potter thing (books first, now movies) and people told me not to drool too much over Daniel Radcliffe, which is something I’ve never considered doing. He’s Harry Potter for God’s sake. A child! Gross. I like men. But, I can see how you and other men would enjoy young Miss Watson. Men are programmed to like youthful women, where as women are programmed to like men that can provide. It all makes sense. Still creepy, but understandable.

  8. golfwidow

    Because I am a book geek and only saw the movies to raise my book-geek-status, I can tell you that you could have had this celebration last year if you’d only known that, in the wizarding world, the age of majority is seventeen. ‘S truth.

  9. Avitable

    Em, I’m programmed to like young women? Phew! Now I don’t feel guilty anymore.

    BE Earl, I saw that camel toe, too.

    Golfwidow, actually, I did know that. I read all of the books, too.

    Kyra, which argument – turtleneck or not?

    Britt, you totally should.

    Finn, I’d rather think of Lindsay AND Emma together.

    Grant, you win in the creep-off!

    Fab, you know exactly who she is, don’t lie.

    TMP, yeah, I don’t like older women. Older than 20!

    Bubblewench, I’m very easily pleased.

  10. Jessica

    Oh geeze, I never saw the fully naked one of Harry – I mean, Daniel Radcliff, before! That thing, the thing between his legs, it looks like a fat slug! I didn’t think they all looked like that.

    Ah wells, I still have the Harry Potter posters on my wall, but my nightime fantasies are ruined. Thanks.

  11. Ella

    Not to burst anyones bubble but the frontal picture of Harry Potter is fake too…

    If it was desired I could get the evidence, but so as to not link to nudity on someone elses blog, notice the blur around his hips? Notice how where the horses legs should be its just grey?

    Its not Harry’s goodies but rather a dutch porn stars.

  12. Avitable

    Hello, too young? If there’s grass on the field . . .

    DB, did you look at the other link, the one with the penis?

    Jessica, apparently, the bottom half of his body is actually fake, from a porn star. Sorry to disappoint.

    Ella, yeah, I just researched that after your comment. And you’re right.

    Tracy, that just makes her look hotter.

    Yoshi, it’s all in the eye of the beholder.

  13. gail

    I have to admit to having a fancy for Harry in the last film. I’m looking forward to the next couple.
    Why did I click on those ‘this’ links? I should know better shouldn’t i?

  14. Avitable

    DB, well, I believe the play had something to do with a man’s love for a horse.

    Gail, you should always know better if I link to something!

    Crazy Lady, yet, all I care about is the birth certificate, then it’s open season!

  15. whall

    Sometimes I think you have a bet going on with someone. And sometimes I think the bet went something like this:

    Someone: You know, you can do *anything* on the Internet nowadays.
    You:: Nah, there are limits.
    Someone: Such as?
    You:: You know, limits. lih. mitts. You can’t just do anything you want; someone will shut you down.
    Someone: I bet you *could* do anything.
    You:: Nope. If it ain’t the law, it’ll be something else. Someone will complain. Hackers. News. Something.
    Someone: I bet *you* could do anything.
    You:: Me? Pshaw. I’m just a normal guy and I’m not that extreme. I work, pay my taxes, love my wife and eat Burger King. I wouldn’t even be interesting.
    Someone: I bet you could do *anything*.
    You:: Anything? What do you mean? I mean, what specifically do you mean? You’re starting to annoy me.
    Someone: I bet you could *do* anything.
    You:: Oh, no. I’m a pristine kind of guy. I would never want to involve something as intimate and spiritually fulfilling as sex with something like dolphins, unicorns or underage girls. That’s just gross. (retch). Now look what you made me do.
    Someone: I *bet* you could do anything.
    You:: Oh no you don’t, don’t exploit my one weakness: gambling. Oh come on, you know I can’t resist a bet! Please? Don’t make me bet. Ok, you convinced me – we’ll bet. Wait, are we betting? Who am I betting with again?
    Someone: *I* bet you could do anything.
    You:: Sheeeet, dude, you’re on. Let’s see, how will we do this? I’ll come up with the most offensive stuff like child porn, bestiality, religion-bashing, masturbation, testicle pictures and anything I can actually stomach typing, and we’ll see how long it’ll be before I get taken down, by any means. I say I don’t last 9 months.
    Someone: Deal.

    and since then, you’ve been trying to win the bet.

    I like your stamina.

  16. Summer

    Kind of scary that photoshop works so good. I need my head put on the body of the chick that dances with the football player on DWTS. Next time you have full frontal man nudes on your blog can they be circumcised? I don’t like the way it looks like it’s peeking out of a sausage casing.

  17. Sybil Law

    She’s okay. Not hot, but better than Dakota Fanning, for sure. Dakota is one hell of an actress, though…
    My gay friend sent me those Daniel Radcliffe photos forever ago. He looks good, but I like things cut, thanks. Haha
    I am not nearly as offended as I expected to be. Which offends me. :batting:

  18. Y2K Survivor

    Dude I had no idea you were bidding on her panties on eBay! Sheesh I was given a pair of those as a gift last Christmas, I assumed it was a gag gift, but now I see there is a real demand AND they might be worth something. So, and I don’t know the going market value of priceless, pristine panties that still retain a bit of the old Hogwart’s fragrance… But for a mere $300 I might be persuaded to part with my Emma Watson panties.

    She must be quite fashionable as she seems to wear mean’s tighty whiteys with a 38 inch waist and a skidmark stain towards the rear. Those British chicks are so cheeky.

    I accept pay pal and cold hard cash.

  19. Avitable

    Summer, you watch Dancing With the Stars? Sigh.

    Maman, yeah that’s probably true.

    Sybil, you’re never as offended as you expect to be, for some reason.

    Mrs. RW, there are so many parts towards which you could be addressing that sentiment.

    Poppy, I’m her favorite, didn’t you know?

    Trukindog, good enough for me!

    Y2K, hahahahaha! 38″ waist, eh? You’re thinner than your drawing implies.

  20. Poppy

    “…there’s only one blogger who can get away with using her own name in the third person without it sounding pompous and ridiculous, and that’s Bossy.”

    My unsolicited response to that:
    1. Nice talk, sugar lips.

  21. Poppy

    I clicked Ella’s link. This made me laugh:

    “yes, I am over 18 and would like to see even more hot barely legal axxxtion or no, I’m a little girl who wears a diaper under my pretty dress”

    I wanted to click the diaper one just because it’s funny, but in the end I clicked neither.

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