How could I forget? Tuesday was a day of momentous occasion, and I let it slip by with nary a mention. I blame it on my crystal meth addiction.
Since Tuesday, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can be happy and sing and dance and do things that would have previously made me feel dirty and shamed.
Because on Tuesday, you see, Emma Watson (aka Hermione Granger) turned 18.
I no longer have to feel weird about being a member of her fan club.
I don't have to feel bad about masturbating to this, this or this (really NSFW).
I can proudly reveal that I named my penis Hermione.
I will not be ashamed of my bids on the eBay auction for a pair of her panties.
I will no longer slink to the Harry Potter movies naked under my raincoat. I will walk in with my head high.
Now, how long until Dakota Fanning is legal?
(For those of you who feel left out by the fake naked picture of Emma Watson, here are some real naked pictures of Daniel Radcliffe.)
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I really didn't want to see an uncircumcised peen. But thanks for the ass shot.
Comments by A Whole Lot of Nothing / Angie
She's certainly cast a spell on you, that's for sure...
Comments by Dave2
I love the title. As if you haven't been creepy up until this point.
Comments by Karl
I just looked at the Daniel Radcliffe pictures, he's 18, right? I'm not looking at child porn?
Comments by Amanda
Also, you should probably be ashamed of bidding on anyone's underwear on Ebay.
Comments by Amanda
Dude, I totally agree that she's hot.
I also agree with Karl that you've been creepy for quite awhile.
Comments by Nobody™
You weren't creepy before this? Haha, this is semi tame for you ;)
Comments by Hilly
Meh. That's all you got?
Comments by ADW
You are so honest and forthright. I'm glad you got this off of your chest.
Comments by Jason
I clicked on it. Why did I click on it? And why are English boys not circumcised?? That's just...I don't know...hard to service. Harder, rather. Ugh. Don't leave comments when drinking, TSM.
Comments by TSM
I don't want your Wii anymore.
Comments by Mary
That's it. I'm locking up Jess and her younger sister. God!
Comments by Karen Sugarpants
She okay I guess.
I think that Miley Cyrus actually turns 18 before Dakota Fanning. I mean, I'm just guessing. I don't know these things. I just think she's older than Dakota, that's all.
Comments by Jay
THIS is where you get creepy?
Not here?
or HERE?
OR HERE?
*sigh* never mind. I'm too
lazytired to link those to posts. Just think, snakes, dolphins, severed thumbs, and men hanging by their testicles.Comments by AmyD
I'll be a total ass kisser and say that you aren't creepy. What's creepy are the men who think this stuff and worse, never speak of it, and molest little girls from their daughter's brownie troupe. You're just filled with wicked humor. I like that. Oh! And I'd already seen Harry's wand.
Comments by Winter
You named your penis Hermione? Why? Ah I get it, because it's always stuck in books.
Do you call your balls Harry and Ron? They always hang by Hermione's side you know...
Comments by Mike
ooooooookay,....that website was totally annoying with the chirping birds!
Comments by DaDuck
You may have just forever changed my reading/watching experiences with HP. I wanted to say that you were so wrong, but that you named your penis Hermione made me snort.
Comments by Sarah is Ok
Comments by Memphis Steve
I was wondering who played her in the porn movie "Harry Twatter and the Philosopher's Bone"?
Comments by jerrster
Emma is English and in England our age of consent is 16 - does that mean you wasted 2 years?
Comments by Penelope
When I read the title I added an "er" at the end...
Daniel's not bad at all for a young lad - those arse dimples are really working it!
Comments by Dee
OMG! How could I forget this momentous occasion!
Need to get me a mug of that witch's brew...
Comments by NYCWD
First, she's pretty cute. Way cuter drinking underage than showing her panties on letterman.
Second, this is about a 2 out of 10 on the Avitable creep meter.
That said, this girl turning 18 isn't even close to, say, Anna Kournikova turning 18. Shit, I remember being excited when she turned sixteen.
And since no one else reads this, I can not WAIT for Miley Cyrus to turn 18.
Comments by Functionally ReTodded
Angie, I'm an equal opportunity pornographer.
Dave, and if she needs a broomstick . . .
Karl, before I was just sick. This makes it creepy.
Amanda, actually, he was 16, I think. But the photo was taken in England, where he's of legal age.
Nobody, I guess I should just accept it.
Hilly, I've got a semi-tame in my pants.
ADW, well, nothing will faze you, twatstick.
Jason, it just needed to be said, ya know?
TSM, I don't think it affects the servicing.
Mary, no? Why not?
Karen, hahahahahahahahahaha! I promise the dungeon I have for her is nicely decorated.
Jay, Miley Cyrus just doesn't do it for me.
AmyD, this feels creepier to me.
Winter, this is true. I'd never actually touch a girl who was below the age of consent in that state. We'd have to get in the car and drive to Arkansas.
Mike, that was my little secret and you just went and ruined it!
DaDuck, yeah, and they hid the volume control, too.
Sarah, sometimes my penis acts like a witch.
Memphis, how did I miss that post?
Jerrster, well, there you go.
Penelope, yes! Shit.
Dee, for a young lad? Do you like old men instead?
NYCWD, I'll give her a ride on my broomstick.
Todd, yeah, Anna Kournikova was a momentous occasion too.
Comments by Avitable
I just got into the whole Harry Potter thing (books first, now movies) and people told me not to drool too much over Daniel Radcliffe, which is something I've never considered doing. He's Harry Potter for God's sake. A child! Gross. I like men. But, I can see how you and other men would enjoy young Miss Watson. Men are programmed to like youthful women, where as women are programmed to like men that can provide. It all makes sense. Still creepy, but understandable.
Comments by Em
You are sick! I can't believe you went there. She's just a little girl!
Wait...did I spot a camel-toe in that first pic? ;)
Comments by B.E. Earl
Because I am a book geek and only saw the movies to raise my book-geek-status, I can tell you that you could have had this celebration last year if you'd only known that, in the wizarding world, the age of majority is seventeen. 'S truth.
Comments by golfwidow
Glad you posted the link to... er... Harry Potter's wand. it actually settles an argument that had been going on over here.
Comments by Kyra
I kind of feel bad about not circumcising my son now. Damn.
Comments by Miss Britt
All I can think of now is the SNL skit with Lindsay Lohan as Hermione, but with you staring at her tits.
Thank you.
Comments by Finn
I find her being legal something of a turn-off. I'll just keep masturbating to HP1 when she had the figure of my Japanese teacher before developing those breasts.
Comments by Grant
Oh. She's someone who was in those magician movies?
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
She is a cutie. But I don't see the attraction... She looks like a little girl.
(lightbulb just came on....)
Comments by themuttprincess
I guess it's like Christmas in April for you! Glad you are so easily pleased.
Comments by bubblewench
Em, I'm programmed to like young women? Phew! Now I don't feel guilty anymore.
BE Earl, I saw that camel toe, too.
Golfwidow, actually, I did know that. I read all of the books, too.
Kyra, which argument - turtleneck or not?
Britt, you totally should.
Finn, I'd rather think of Lindsay AND Emma together.
Grant, you win in the creep-off!
Fab, you know exactly who she is, don't lie.
TMP, yeah, I don't like older women. Older than 20!
Bubblewench, I'm very easily pleased.
Comments by Avitable
she's still too young for me.
uhhh. and too female for me.
same goes for dan radcliff.
Comments by hello haha narf
Oh yeah Great! You get a full frontal legs open Emma and we just get Daniels back and butt... pffftttt!!!!
Comments by DutchBitch
Oh geeze, I never saw the fully naked one of Harry - I mean, Daniel Radcliff, before! That thing, the thing between his legs, it looks like a fat slug! I didn't think they all looked like that.
Ah wells, I still have the Harry Potter posters on my wall, but my nightime fantasies are ruined. Thanks.
Comments by Jessica
Not to burst anyones bubble but the frontal picture of Harry Potter is fake too...
If it was desired I could get the evidence, but so as to not link to nudity on someone elses blog, notice the blur around his hips? Notice how where the horses legs should be its just grey?
Its not Harry's goodies but rather a dutch porn stars.
Comments by Ella
Dude,creepy is pretty much your middle name. Adam Creepy Avitable.
And also, EEWWW. She totally looks way younger than 18 to me.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
who knew she had a fan club? but I guess all the stars have to right?
These child stars, they grow up and you think, "wow, what happened there?" lol creepy indeed.
Comments by yoshi
Hello, too young? If there's grass on the field . . .
DB, did you look at the other link, the one with the penis?
Jessica, apparently, the bottom half of his body is actually fake, from a porn star. Sorry to disappoint.
Ella, yeah, I just researched that after your comment. And you're right.
Tracy, that just makes her look hotter.
Yoshi, it's all in the eye of the beholder.
Comments by Avitable
No I didn't!
...
I did now...
I think he's looking waaaay too lovey dovey at the horse for my liking...
Comments by DutchBitch
I have to admit to having a fancy for Harry in the last film. I'm looking forward to the next couple.
Why did I click on those 'this' links? I should know better shouldn't i?
Comments by gail
I don't care what her birth certificate says - she still looks way to young!
Comments by Crazy Lady in Vegas
DB, well, I believe the play had something to do with a man's love for a horse.
Gail, you should always know better if I link to something!
Crazy Lady, yet, all I care about is the birth certificate, then it's open season!
Comments by Avitable
Sometimes I think you have a bet going on with someone. And sometimes I think the bet went something like this:
Someone: You know, you can do *anything* on the Internet nowadays.
You:: Nah, there are limits.
Someone: Such as?
You:: You know, limits. lih. mitts. You can't just do anything you want; someone will shut you down.
Someone: I bet you *could* do anything.
You:: Nope. If it ain't the law, it'll be something else. Someone will complain. Hackers. News. Something.
Someone: I bet *you* could do anything.
You:: Me? Pshaw. I'm just a normal guy and I'm not that extreme. I work, pay my taxes, love my wife and eat Burger King. I wouldn't even be interesting.
Someone: I bet you could do *anything*.
You:: Anything? What do you mean? I mean, what specifically do you mean? You're starting to annoy me.
Someone: I bet you could *do* anything.
You:: Oh, no. I'm a pristine kind of guy. I would never want to involve something as intimate and spiritually fulfilling as sex with something like dolphins, unicorns or underage girls. That's just gross. (retch). Now look what you made me do.
Someone: I *bet* you could do anything.
You:: Oh no you don't, don't exploit my one weakness: gambling. Oh come on, you know I can't resist a bet! Please? Don't make me bet. Ok, you convinced me - we'll bet. Wait, are we betting? Who am I betting with again?
Someone: *I* bet you could do anything.
You:: Sheeeet, dude, you're on. Let's see, how will we do this? I'll come up with the most offensive stuff like child porn, bestiality, religion-bashing, masturbation, testicle pictures and anything I can actually stomach typing, and we'll see how long it'll be before I get taken down, by any means. I say I don't last 9 months.
Someone: Deal.
and since then, you've been trying to win the bet.
I like your stamina.
Comments by whall
You'd think so, wouldn't you? I think you'd be surprised that I'm exactly like that in real life, too.
Comments by Avitable
Kind of scary that photoshop works so good. I need my head put on the body of the chick that dances with the football player on DWTS. Next time you have full frontal man nudes on your blog can they be circumcised? I don't like the way it looks like it's peeking out of a sausage casing.
Comments by Summer
Dakota Fanning will always be creepy... because she is a freak.
Comments by Maman
She's okay. Not hot, but better than Dakota Fanning, for sure. Dakota is one hell of an actress, though...
My gay friend sent me those Daniel Radcliffe photos forever ago. He looks good, but I like things cut, thanks. Haha
I am not nearly as offended as I expected to be. Which offends me.
Comments by Sybil Law
E-e-e-www...
Comments by Mrs RW
She's smokin' hot.
OMG, you made Mrs. RW comment!
Comments by Poppy
That's a damn shame that pics. a fake...but it'll do.
Comments by Trukindog
Dude I had no idea you were bidding on her panties on eBay! Sheesh I was given a pair of those as a gift last Christmas, I assumed it was a gag gift, but now I see there is a real demand AND they might be worth something. So, and I don't know the going market value of priceless, pristine panties that still retain a bit of the old Hogwart's fragrance... But for a mere $300 I might be persuaded to part with my Emma Watson panties.
She must be quite fashionable as she seems to wear mean's tighty whiteys with a 38 inch waist and a skidmark stain towards the rear. Those British chicks are so cheeky.
I accept pay pal and cold hard cash.
Comments by Y2K Survivor
Summer, you watch Dancing With the Stars? Sigh.
Maman, yeah that's probably true.
Sybil, you're never as offended as you expect to be, for some reason.
Mrs. RW, there are so many parts towards which you could be addressing that sentiment.
Poppy, I'm her favorite, didn't you know?
Trukindog, good enough for me!
Y2K, hahahahaha! 38" waist, eh? You're thinner than your drawing implies.
Comments by Avitable
Not true! Some of your links and psts have left me nauseous!
Which is yet another reason I love you.
Comments by Sybil Law
Ew. Emma Watson? Seriously?!
Dude...that's...no.
Comments by Sarcastica
Sybil, that's true. I guess you do have a threshold.
Sarcastica, what's wrong with that? She's hot!
Comments by Avitable
good post. globus agrees that this moment is a good one :-)
Comments by Globus
Globus, you know, there's only one blogger who can get away with using her own name in the third person without it sounding pompous and ridiculous, and that's Bossy.
Comments by Avitable
"...there's only one blogger who can get away with using her own name in the third person without it sounding pompous and ridiculous, and that's Bossy."
My unsolicited response to that:
1. Nice talk, sugar lips.
2. NO TOUCHING THE POPPY.
Comments by Poppy
Poppy, heh. You said sugar lips.
Comments by Avitable
So, this comment is late enough that it will probably evade notice but I saw this update on http://www.wwtdd.com and it made me think of this post for some reason.
http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=5173
For the record, I am not a harry potter fan, and do not go searching for information about fake or real cast pictures.
Comments by Ella
Ella, I read WWTDD all the time and saw that, too. I actually feel bad for her!
Comments by Avitable
I clicked Ella's link. This made me laugh:
"yes, I am over 18 and would like to see even more hot barely legal axxxtion or no, I'm a little girl who wears a diaper under my pretty dress"
I wanted to click the diaper one just because it's funny, but in the end I clicked neither.
Comments by Poppy
I pray to GOD that that picture of Emma Watson is real
Comments by Creed
Poppy, you might have missed out!
Creed, it's not, but the recent upskirt one is.
Comments by Avitable
Emma watson is hot guys.
Comments by the lolwut pear