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No vlog for you!

I really had a vlog planned for today, but I had forgotten that I promised Tracy I’d do Grant’s meme by Saturday, which will net her five clams! So here goes . . .

1. Describe yourself without the use of any vowels (treat “y” as a vowel).

Sm4rt3r th4n 3W3!

2. Write a short paragraph about a truly horrifying encounter you once had using the word “sippy-cup”.

My father beat my mother to death using a sippy-cup that had a picture of Goofy and Pluto on it. To this day, if I see those two Disney characters, I hear “I’ll juice you, woman!” in my head and faint.

3. Which of the following is the worst baby name: Monkey Winkle, Fetus Cheese, or Swaberpoo Deliciousness? Discuss.

Monkey Winkle if it’s a boy. Feivel Fuckpants if it’s a girl. No discussion needed.

4. Complete the following word association: cookie, ladder, penis, regret…


5. You move your weasel to sun level three. Your opponent counters with whimsy to caveworm seven. What is the best counter move?

Roll your 20-sided dice and hope for a 16.

Anyone else want to take a crack at it? Don’t forget to come back tomorrow for a new Lazy Sunday contest and nifty prize!

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26 Replies to “No vlog for you!”

  1. Sybil Law

    Pluto is near Uranus, you know.
    I am like AmyD – drinking and blogenting. I also find this funny.
    Fetus Cheese is really disgusting when you think about it – Feivel Fuckpants is merely slutty.
    I talked to a guy in a bar once who was expecting his wife to give birth any day. They were going to name their kid “Justin Sane”.
    For realz.

  2. Sybil Law

    @Allyson – Clever, maybe (although I am sure there’s an awful lot of Justin Zane/ Sane’s running around!); but labeling your kid insane for life isn’t terribly nice! Plus, the guy I’m talking about was some kinda crackhead. 🙂

  3. Bec

    No. 5 – A 16? Only if you have an armour class of a Greek God! Oh, wait, someone’s already done this joke.

    Poor joke take 2

    No. 3 – I used to go to school with Monkey and Feivel. They used to steal my lunch money.

  4. Amber

    I laughed so hard at #4, I cried.

    And as far as horrible names for children goes? I don’t think any of them hold a candle to what my sister Ashley was almost named.

    My dad’s “real” name is Herman, middle of Levi and he goes by his middle name as he HATES the name “Herman.” But they were still thinking about naming Ashley, “Hermanena” — thank God they came to their senses. My poor sister!

    PS: Did you get my text about using the phrase “Semen Rinse” in your next masturbatory post? I’d love to see what you do with THAT. Cracks me up every time.

  5. Avitable

    Winter, I know!

    AmyD, I think it’s just because you’re tipsy.

    Stephanie, what happened to your blog? And I love Bunny Suicides!

    Allyson, I make every meme my own.

    Jay, I agree. It’s like ending fortunes with “in bed”.

    CajunVegan, tranny, ding a ling – not too much difference.

    Sybil, what’s blogenting?

    Hello, and then you didn’t even bother to watch my video today!

    Absurdist, that’s one option.

    Golfwidow, naked chicken.

    Tracy, Grant had better pay up!

    Maria, it’s all true. Except for the lies.

    MyWeeWorld, well, you can go back and read all of my posts. In fact, I expect you to.

    Gwen, that coincidentally my mother’s name.

    Zom, are you really a Stanley?

    Bec, poor joke mulligans not allowed!

    Amber, that’s horrible! I did get your text, absolutely.

    Turnbaby, sigh for what?

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