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Lazy Sunday XXXVI

You can find last week’s answers and contest winner in an extended entry, but now it’s time for today’s Lazy Sunday contest! This week’s prize is The Hillary Nutcracker!

Everyone has a chance at winning, so don’t be shy! The questions may be hard, but everyone who’s between the ages of 16 and 80 should be able to get at least one correct – I promise.

The rules:

It’s very simple. Every answer contains a reference to a movie, a television show, or a song. Just guess as many as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera. You’re on the honor system – try not to Google or look at other people’s answers!

The contest ends Tuesday at midnight EST. I’ll give the correct answers and the winner on the following Sunday.

Ready? Here we go!


1. Are you tan?
Yup, I’m actually orange. Or pink. Pink is the new orange, isn’t it?

2. How old will you be in 13 months?
Old enough to walk into a liquor store and order a keg of beer. Even if I have to growl a little bit.

3. Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now?
I won it in a walk off.

4. What are you looking forward to in the next month?
Going out every night, sleeping all day, doing whatever I want, eating in a fancy restaurant.

5. Are you easily confused?
Nope. I’m Joe, the smartest man in the world.

6. Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?
As long as my wife didn’t cook my dog.

7. Have you ever liked someone who treated you badly?
Yeah, there was this one guy I liked even though he locked me in a room and made me bang pans and pretend I was retarded.

8. Do you fall for people easily?
No. Usually angels have to put me in mortal danger with someone for me to fall in love with her.

9. What are you listening to right now?
A Dracula puppet musical.

10. Do you live with both your parents?
Just my mother, although she won’t call me the Warlock like I want her to.

11. Last person you said I love you to?
I don’t say that. I just say “Ditto.”

12. What is it you truly want right now?
To watch People’s Court in the next 30 seconds.

13. Are you wearing jeans right now?
Nope. I already sent them off to the next person.

14. Do you think too much or too little?
I don’t know. I just want to fire up some Ambassadors.

15. Who is in your house right now?
Somebody who keeps asking me about my movie preferences and quizzing me in a raspy voice.


And here are the answers and winners from last week’s contest :

Here are the questions and answers:

1. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, as what or whom would you go?
I’d go dressed provocatively, but then probably just throw a sheet over top and be a ghost.
Willow wore these costumes during a Halloween episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

2. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling?
I am a proponent of propane when it comes to grilling.
Hank Hill from King of the Hill loves propane and propane accessories.

3. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?
Do you want option 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5? Hint – try 4.
Albert Brooks’s Russ Cargill asks the President these questions in The Simpsons movie.

4. It’s your first day of vacation, what are you doing?
Flying to LA to meet my wife. God, I hate flying.
John McClane from Die Hard hates flying!

5. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies?
A Snickers. But I eat it with a fork and knife.
Elaine’s boss Mr. Pitt ate this way in Seinfeld.

6. What do you think Captain Hook’s name was before he had a hook for a hand?
Hookstable? Or maybe it just sounded like that.
This was just a play on words for Huxtable, which is of course the name of the family in The Cosby Show.

7. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding?
Well, we never really had a first date. I found my wife when she fell off of a cruise ship.
This was my mistake. It wasn’t a cruise ship, it was a private yacht. I’m talking, of course, about Overboard.

8. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?
Actually, the worst thing is when you hallucinate and hear “I’ll Tumble For Ya”.
Very few of you recognized this from an early scene in Billy Madison when Adam Sandler hears the music in his head on the stairwell and dances to it.

9. What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?
I prefer someone who thinks like everyone else, and then can point at people who are different and scream in an unnatural voice.
Almost none of you got this one. It’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers (the Donald Sutherland one).

10. At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?
Reese’s Pieces.
Of course, this is ET. I don’t know of any other movie that used a candy so blatantly.

11. What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?
It used to be the Statue of Liberty, but her head is in the middle of Manhattan now.
A newer movie that many of you may not have seen, Cloverfield.

12. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?
When people talk about their hobbies collecting spores, molds, and fungus.
Egon Spengler’s way of flirting with Annie Potts’s character in Ghostbusters.

13. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test?
Only once, although I was having trouble keeping track of the visions in my eyes without my sunglasses.
This is the only musical one – Corey Hart’s Sunglasses at Night.

14. What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life?
The Old 96er.
A great movie with John Candy and Dan Aykroyd – The Great Outdoors. “Big bear! Big bear chase me!”

15. What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?
Since I can cook, I wouldn’t need a cook. My kids are old enough not to need nannies. How about a hot, proud Mexican housekeeper?
Some of you expressed distaste at this movie, but I loved Adam Sandler’s Spanglish.

Here’s how I chose the winner:

First, I entered everyone’s answers into a spreadsheet, giving 1 point for each correct answer and 0 points for each wrong answer. The total number of points equaled the person’s “raffle tickets” for the drawing.

Then I created a randomized list using Random.org of every “raffle ticket” – basically each person’s name was repeated as many times as they had right answers. This gave me a random list of 164 entries.

Finally, using Random.org again, I asked it to generate a random integer between 1 and 164. It chose #135.

#135 is my winner.

Would you like to know who that is?

(drumroll please)

Hello haha narf!

Congratulations – you win a Motor-Powered Self-Twirling Spaghetti Fork! Email me to confirm your win and give me your address. The rest of you, thank you for playing, and try your luck with today’s contest!

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35 Replies to “Lazy Sunday XXXVI”

  1. Mike

    1. Legally Blonde
    2. Teen Wolf
    3. Zoolander
    4. Nothing compares to you – Sinead O’Connor
    5. Idiocracy
    6. War of the Roses
    7. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
    8. City of Angels
    9. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
    10. Live Free of Die Hard (Kevin Smith!)
    11. Mermaids
    12. Rain Man
    13. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
    14. ???
    15. Scary Movie

  2. whall

    I will be honorifically honorable and only answer the ones I actually knew.

    #2: Teen Wolf. remember the scratches on that one girl’s back?
    #5: Idiocracy
    #11: Ghost
    #12: Rain Man
    #13: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
    #14: (wild guess) Hunt for the Red October

  3. B.E. Earl

    1. Clueless
    2. Teen Wolf
    3. Zoolander
    4. “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Conner (as written by Prince)
    5.
    6.
    7.
    8. A Life Less Ordinary?
    9.
    10.
    11. Ghost
    12. Rain Man
    13. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?
    14. Dr. Strangelove?
    15. Scream – one or all of them

    Not feeling so good about this one.

  4. hello haha narf

    oh my fuck, am i seeing things this early on a sunday morning?!?!?! dude, i won something! granted it is a crazy twirling fork, but my pasta (ya have to say pasta if you wanna be snooty) eating will never be the same. as if there was ever a doubt, i love you adam heath avitable.
    (did i really just sell my heart for a twirling fork?)

    you are welcome to personally deliver my prize in philly, although i’ll also email you my address in case you wanna stalk me sometime.

  5. hello haha narf

    dammit, i forgot to enter this week’s contest. seeing as how i only i know a handful, it probably wasn’t the worst thing…

    the only answers that i know:

    10. my favorite recent movie, live free or die hard
    11. ghost
    12. rain man (kmart sucks, i’m not wearing any underwear)
    13. sisterhood of the traveling pants (no, i didn’t see the movie, yes the commercials are burned into my brain)

  6. Jay

    11. Ghost
    12. Rainman
    13. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

    I remember when I could get nearly half of these each Sunday. This is embarrassing. Maybe I should start cheating.

  7. Stephanie

    1. Legally Blonde
    2.
    3. Project Runway or Zoolander
    4. Nothing Compares To You (Sinead O’Connor)
    5.
    6. War of The Roses
    7.
    8. City of Angels?
    9.
    10.
    11. Ghost
    12. Rainman
    13. Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants
    14.
    15. Scream

  8. jared

    this is the prize that i’m gonna win. this one’s all me…

    1. Legally Blonde
    2. Teen Wolf
    3. Zoolander
    4. Nothing Compares 2 U
    5. Idiocracy
    9. Forgetting Sarah Marshall: whoa, 2 sarah marshall references in one survey…
    10. Live Free or Die Hard
    15. Scream

  9. kapgar

    1. Legally Blonde
    2. Teen Wolf
    3. Zoolander
    4. I’ll be different and say Prince “Nothing Compares 2 U” since he actually wrote the song for Sinead O’Connor
    5.
    6.
    7.
    8.
    9.
    10. Live Free or Die Hard
    11. Ghost
    12. Rainman
    13. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
    14.
    15. Scream, although I was initially thinking Dennis Hopper in Speed, but you did that one recently, didn’t you?

  10. Sybil Law

    1. Legally Blonde
    2. Teen Wolf
    3. Zoolander
    4. Nothing Compares 2 U
    5. Idiocracy
    6. War of the Roses
    7.
    8.
    9. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
    10.
    11. Ghost
    12. Rain Man
    13. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
    14. Battlestar Galactica?
    15. Scream

  11. Catherine

    :puke: :banghead:
    Can’t get comments to post AAAAGGHHHHH!!

    1. Legally Blonde
    2. Teenwolf
    3. Zoolander
    4. Nothing Compares to You
    5. Joe vs. the Volcano
    6. Fatal attraction
    7. ???????????
    8. City of Angels
    9. ??????????
    10. Psycho
    11. Ghost
    12. Rain man
    13. Sisterhood of the Traveling pants
    14. ???????????
    15. Something about Mary.

  12. Poppy

    1. Legally Blonde
    2. You are such a Michael J. Fox stalker. Teen Wolf.
    3. You’re pretty.
    4. Nothing Compares 2 U
    5. You’re pretty.
    6. War of the Roses
    7. Se7en
    8. Angels in America
    9. You’re pretty.
    10. You’re jealous, aren’t you. Live Free or Die Hard.
    11. Ghost
    12. Rain Man
    13. Sisterhood of the Travel(l)ing Pants, starring Betty Suarez
    14. Fifth Element
    15. Scream

  13. Linda

    1. Legally Blonde
    2. Teen Wolf
    3.
    4. Nothing Compares To You
    5.
    6. War Of The Roses
    7. Dirty Rotten Scoundrals
    8. City Of Angels
    9.
    10.
    11. Ghost
    12. Rain Man
    13. Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants
    14.
    15. Scream?

  14. Avitable

    Karl, some of these are ones I consider so hard yet people get them so easily.

    Amanda, 9 was supposed to be tricky for people because I figured most people hadn’t been to the theaters this weekend.

    Jason, too hard? It’s easy!

    Little LJ, I never thought anyone would guess the song one.

    Mike, so early and so many right. Although you didn’t get all of them . . .

    Wayne, I do remember the scratches. That was such a teen boy’s perv movie.

    BE Earl, not too bad!

    Hello, you’ll have to do a video of you eating the pasta.

    Nat, impressive!

    Turnbaby, anything that expedites the entry of food into the mouth is a good thing.

    Jay, I thought I was making them harder, but only a few of you seem to be having trouble!

    Mr. Fabulous, it’s okay. I understand that you’re old and your brain is feeble.

    Stephanie, this gives an interesting look at your movie tastes.

    Jared, if you win, you have to vote for Obama, though.

    Kapgar, well, Prince wrote the song, but Sinead performed it. And I don’t think I’ve done Speed yet, actually.

    Sybil, you’re getting pretty decent at these!

    Allyson, nobody was getting it right, eh?

    Catherine, your comments were getting caught in the spam filter. I fixed it.

    NYCWD, yeah it is!

    Poppy, I have a nonsexual crush on MJF, what can I say?

    Linda, not too shabby!

  15. Bittersweet Confusion

    :sexytime: Yay I finally know something on one of these things…

    1. Legally Blond
    2. Teen Wolf
    3. ?
    4. Nothing Compares 2 U
    5. Joe Dirt
    6.
    7.
    8. City of Angels
    9. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
    10. Live Free or Die Hard
    11. Ghost
    12
    13. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (You were watching ABC Family this weekend eh?)
    14.
    15. Scary movie

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