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Foot fetish

Happy Feet?

Happy Foot?

Confused? Befuddled? Horrified? Concerned for the fate of my sexuality? Go find out how the hell this happened.

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91 Replies to “Foot fetish”

  1. Lisa

    Thank GOD Britt came to your rescue because your dogs were barkin’!

    Why is it that I have no problem with the purple nail polish and would like to know the exact brand name and color for my pedicure this Saturday?

  2. DutchBitch

    I think Britt rocks… and so do you. I have the same color toes! Heh

    I am showing all of this to MY boss and telling him that I will have Britt on his ass if he ever defies me…

    Think it will work? :boobs4:

  3. Coal Miner's Granddaughter

    Aw, cute little purple piggies! Aren’t they just so sweet! Just wanna grab ’em and “This little purple piggie went to market, this little purple piggie stayed home, this lit…”

    Wait, did I just type that out loud?

    Sorry. Keep the rest of that purple piggie fantasy to myself…

  4. Bec

    That is quite quite scary – can’t wait to see what Britt drugged you with but work is blocking her site as the category of ‘sex’ is filtered! I mean, seriously?! A lovely site where 2 girls 1 cup is displayed proudly is fine, but Britt is banned?! :violent018:

  5. Avitable

    Lisa, I think it was called “Gay Princess Purple”.

    NYCWD, had I thought about it, I totally would have done orange.

    M.A.D., how many men do you know with purple toenails?

    Nat, no, I really don’t. My feet are horrible.

    Bubblewench, they are definitely smiling.

    Bloggess, I can’t believe she’s blocked and I’m not. I have three legs, but one is a penis.

    Em, and purple polish?

    Rich, is that hat off so that you can cover your eyes from the horror of my feet?

    Absurdist, well, it is in less than two weeks, so possibly.

    Nobody, but it feels so right.

    Sam, I’ll do anything for the blog. I’m shameless. Boobs had nothing to do with it!

    RW, but you’re a coprophagiphile, so you’d say that.

    Gwen, so men have purple toes? Good to know.

    DB, we’re twins!

    Turnbaby, she didn’t even use gloves.

    Mike, I prefer “sssuper”.

    Amanda, you totally want to suck them, don’t you?

    Dave, you totally want to suck them, don’t you?

    Britt, now if I could just get you in for that moustache waxing . . .

    Metalmom, no, I’m anti-pants!

    TrishK, I don’t think I can keep this up every two weeks.

    Zom, squee!

    Mindy, my first thought is always “Will this make a good blog post?”

    Kat, I know. I’m masturbating to a picture of myself as we speak.

    Charissa, probably something mundane and boring now.

    Squeaky Wheel, what did they look like before?

    Grant, of course! Send pics.

    Winter, the French pedicure might be a little too gay for me.

    Christie, I’m a pretty pretty princess.

    Heather, how about “This little piggy washed himself off in nail polish remover”.

    Pixie, in reality, they’re not pretty at all.

    Hilly, I might. Just for you.

    Finn, suddenly? What happened to our unrequited love before?

    LadyJaye, phew! And I was so close to suicide, too.

    Jen, no, I did it all for the benefit of my readers.

    Bec, that’s awesome. Britt’s a porn site.

    TMP, that’s what she keeps saying.

    Lynda, try un-checking the “Comment Luv” box. I requested the color of polish. The lady doing it thought I was insane.

    Hello, I can perch and look pretty too.

    Crystal, pink was one of the options we considered.

    Dragon, I plan on getting my nuts waxed on video sometime.

    Penelope, I’d like my wife to stay with me. That might push her over the edge.

  6. Karl

    There must have been a bet involved. Nevertheless, how awesome are those massage chairs? I plan on getting another pedi before I hit TC, though I’ll probably go with a nice pink polish.

  7. MyWeeWorld

    Good Lord, I don’t even get pedicures and I’m pretty girlie. I didn’t even realize those were man feet I was looking at til I got to the bottom of the post. Y’all are cute!

    P.S. I don’t get pedicures because I can’t stand anyone touching my feet. I just do them myself. It’s my sister’s fault. She used to touch her toes to my toes in order to torture me, gak!!! The funny thing is that she can’t stand for her feet to be touched either.

  8. Jessica

    “Oh My God!!!” was all I could say after picking myself up off the floor from laughing.

    That is so amazing. Like kick ass. I must officially make Miss Britt my woman mentor. That is definitely something I would do with any man around me, if I could get away with it.

    Your piggly wigglies look so pretty! In purple! I dare you to wear sandals in public!!

  9. Scout's Honor

    Ummm, dude, admit it. You’re Britt-whipped.

    As I said on her blog: “Wow! I only got my husband (then fiance) to get a manicure once for his raggedy cuticles and chewed nails and only for the wedding. Now, he would laugh at me and he’s one of the most metrosexual, cosmo drinking, frittata cooking men who does laundry and dishes that I know. He even drives a Mini Cooper which I believe is a chick car.”

    So, I’m not sure what that makes you, but me thinks you should get a gold hoop for your nose or dog collar so your …hehehe…”employee” can to lead you around and you can hold her cigarettes for her, eh? :sex014:

  10. Avitable

    Jennifer, luckily, I don’t wear sandals.

    Jay, I gave her the tip and the shaft.

    AmyD, you should know by now that I’ll do anything for good blog fodder.

    Karl, no bet involved at all. Just sounded like a good idea.

    MyWeeWorld, I’m really ticklish so it was hard not to kick the woman in the head involuntarily.

    HG, yeah, we don’t know why she’s blocked. It’s a mystery.

    SwanShadow, sashay, shantay.

    Finn, I went by Frederic.

    Trukindog, this is true. I won’t keep tearing holes in them now.

    Sybil, look – you’re happy and there’s no jizz to be found.

    BPR, it was either purple, red, or pink.

    Squeaky, hmm, the aesthetic of my feet. Makes them sound so fancy.

    Jessica, I did have to wear the paper shoes out to the car and looked ridiculous!

    Kay, after my Brazilian.

    Scout’s Honor, I was planning on doing it anyway – I figured I’d sacrifice my dignity for my blog yet again.

  11. DebbieS

    That’s it. I haven’t had a pedicure in months, but my 2 year-old has one, and now Av? Who do I have to show *my* boobies to to get a pedicure, hmm??

    Av, you look..precious 😉 Also, the aforementioned 2 year-old loves your dance number and joins in every time I play it for her =)

  12. Summer

    Adam, I wouldn’t let my husband’s feet on my side of the bed they were so hideous. I surprised him with a spa pedicure for his birthday in Feb. When we arrived at the salon he thought I was getting one. When the woman called his name he almost fainted. Well, he loved it and wants to return for a his and her pedicure. Your toes look cute.

  13. Avitable

    Kapgar, it’s all for the sake of the blog.

    TMP, or she’ll deserve it one of these days.

    BE Earl, I vote for turgid, too.

    Sybil, nah. I just ejaculate all over them.

    DebbieS, maybe I should star in my own kids’ tv show.

    Summer, are his toes purple?

    Tracy, now you want to suck my toes, don’t you?

    Buddys, yeah, it’s not that manly at all.

    Maria, you’re turned on, aren’t you?

  14. Girl, Dislocated

    I thought it was remnants of the coffee creamer affecting my vision, but no, you really do look like you have feet of a human now! I bet that woman went home and got drunk after that ordeal though.

    And EVERYBODY looks ridiculous in those paper sandals.

  15. Avitable

    BB, if they want to masturbate to my pedicured feet, they can have at it!

    Beth, you should do your toes like this and we can be twins.

    Girl, Dislocated, yes, but a large gorilla man looks even more ridiculous.

    Tracy, hahahhahahah!

  16. golfwidow

    Holy the crap, I was just having my first professional pedicure around the same time you were. It’s like toe-lepathy.

    (I was probably hanging on just as tightly as you were. No one other than my husband and my rheumatologist has ever touched my feet before.)

  17. Rob O.

    Nothing wrong with getting a pedi – and if your buds give you any crap about it, just mention how their girlfriends or wives have been talking about their “tree climbers.”

    Now, the nail polish is a whole other thing…

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