Foot fetish

Happy Feet?

Happy Foot?

Confused? Befuddled? Horrified? Concerned for the fate of my sexuality? Go find out how the hell this happened.

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Today’s Horoscope
It’s not about gay teens committing suicide. It’s about committing suicide for the WRONG REASONS.
I could . . .
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90 Responses to Foot fetish

  1. Lisa says:

    Thank GOD Britt came to your rescue because your dogs were barkin’!

    Why is it that I have no problem with the purple nail polish and would like to know the exact brand name and color for my pedicure this Saturday?

    Reply

  2. NYCWD
    Twitter:
    says:

    End of times… end of times…

    Orange would have looked better.

    Reply

  3. Damned if I don’t love a man with purple toenails….

    Marry me… :sex023:

    Reply

  4. Nat says:

    Damn you have better looking feet than I do.
    Well done Britt! (I do feel bad for the little Asian lady.)

    Reply

  5. bubblewench says:

    You now have happy sexy toes. I can see them smiling through that polish.

    Reply

  6. Miss-Britt is blocked at my work so I can only assume that these are your feet and that you’ve decided to embrace your feminine side. Also that you have four legs.

    You’re weird.

    Reply

  7. Em says:

    That reminds me, I need a pedicure…

    Reply

  8. sam
    Twitter:
    says:

    That’s HOT Avi!

    :thumbsup:

    I’ve tried for years to get hubs to get a pedi. Maybe he just needs to meet Britt and her boobies.

    Reply

  9. RW says:

    You finally found something more disgusting than the coprophagia. That’s just fuckin great. Thanks.

    Reply

  10. Gwen says:

    I love a man who gets a pedi – it’s a great way to relax and who doesn’t love trimmed up feet?

    But the purple polish? Sets you apart as a man among boys.

    Reply

  11. DutchBitch says:

    I think Britt rocks… and so do you. I have the same color toes! Heh

    I am showing all of this to MY boss and telling him that I will have Britt on his ass if he ever defies me…

    Think it will work? :boobs4:

    Reply

  12. Turnbaby says:

    I LOVE it!!!

    I do feel sorry for the poor soul who had to touch them before but now they are way cool!

    YAY Britt!

    Reply

  13. metalmom says:

    But will she ever get you into full-length pants?

    I hope she paid you well. :clap:

    Reply

  14. Trishk says:

    They are starting to look a tad bit better. You have another appointment in two weeks, right?

    Reply

  15. Zom says:

    *squeals* OMG! I have a pair of open toed stiletto’s in that exact color!!! wanna borrow them?

    Reply

  16. Mindy says:

    What was your take in this? Boobs, money, or maybe both? Is there anything you won’t do? Nevermind… don’t answer that!

    Reply

  17. Charissa says:

    2 embarrassing posts in as many days. what could possibly be next?

    Reply

  18. That woman might not have been enjoying herself, but she did a hell of a job. Your feet look like FEET now! It’s AMAZING!

    Reply

  19. Grant says:

    Can’t I just masturbate to the photos without knowing the back story?
    :sexytime:

    Reply

  20. Winter says:

    There is power in purple. My toes are almost always some shade of purple these days. However, next time I would go for the french. You have nice long toes for it.

    Reply

  21. Aw, cute little purple piggies! Aren’t they just so sweet! Just wanna grab ‘em and “This little purple piggie went to market, this little purple piggie stayed home, this lit…”

    Wait, did I just type that out loud?

    Sorry. Keep the rest of that purple piggie fantasy to myself…

    Reply

  22. *pixie* says:

    Your feet actually look pretty. And I’m not one for liking anybody’s feet but my own.

    Reply

  23. Hilly says:

    I’d take pretty cupcake toes over nasty toes any day! They look so sweet and cute ;) .

    Are you coming to Philly with that look?

    Reply

  24. Finn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Those are your purple toes? You clean up pretty nice. And I like purple. I suddenly find myself strangely attracted to you… :batting:

    Reply

  25. Lady Jaye says:

    Those are some very sexy toenails. I stated in my most recet 10 things about me post that pretty toenails are essential to life. You now have a reason to continue living.

    Reply

  26. Jen, South Florida says:

    Did you lose a bet, you homo, I mean “metrosexual”?

    Reply

  27. Bec says:

    That is quite quite scary – can’t wait to see what Britt drugged you with but work is blocking her site as the category of ‘sex’ is filtered! I mean, seriously?! A lovely site where 2 girls 1 cup is displayed proudly is fine, but Britt is banned?! :violent018:

    Reply

  28. You need to give Britt a raise because she can sell anything to anyone!

    Reply

  29. Lynda says:

    Britt’s blog won’t let me comment.

    Did you/she request the polish, or did the Asian lady just put it on your toes?

    Also, is your blog template going back to the unicorns now?

    Reply

  30. but how will you perch on tree limbs now??

    (i’m so proud of you for getting a pedicure. i’ll show you my boobies now. but do me a favor and get a buff or clear polish next time. the purple is just not right. xoxo)

    Reply

  31. Crys says:

    my dear, they look delightful. i might’ve chosen a pearly-pink, but hey, different strokes

    Reply

  32. Dragon says:

    Pedicure, check. Up next….WAXING. Brit should start you off slowly, say with a half leg wax and then work up to a brazilian. :clap:

    Reply

  33. Penelope says:

    How the hell are you going to top this? Full make up and drag?? Hmmm there’s a thought – I love a man in make-up :thumbsup:

    Reply

  34. Avitable says:

    Lisa, I think it was called “Gay Princess Purple”.

    NYCWD, had I thought about it, I totally would have done orange.

    M.A.D., how many men do you know with purple toenails?

    Nat, no, I really don’t. My feet are horrible.

    Bubblewench, they are definitely smiling.

    Bloggess, I can’t believe she’s blocked and I’m not. I have three legs, but one is a penis.

    Em, and purple polish?

    Rich, is that hat off so that you can cover your eyes from the horror of my feet?

    Absurdist, well, it is in less than two weeks, so possibly.

    Nobody, but it feels so right.

    Sam, I’ll do anything for the blog. I’m shameless. Boobs had nothing to do with it!

    RW, but you’re a coprophagiphile, so you’d say that.

    Gwen, so men have purple toes? Good to know.

    DB, we’re twins!

    Turnbaby, she didn’t even use gloves.

    Mike, I prefer “sssuper”.

    Amanda, you totally want to suck them, don’t you?

    Dave, you totally want to suck them, don’t you?

    Britt, now if I could just get you in for that moustache waxing . . .

    Metalmom, no, I’m anti-pants!

    TrishK, I don’t think I can keep this up every two weeks.

    Zom, squee!

    Mindy, my first thought is always “Will this make a good blog post?”

    Kat, I know. I’m masturbating to a picture of myself as we speak.

    Charissa, probably something mundane and boring now.

    Squeaky Wheel, what did they look like before?

    Grant, of course! Send pics.

    Winter, the French pedicure might be a little too gay for me.

    Christie, I’m a pretty pretty princess.

    Heather, how about “This little piggy washed himself off in nail polish remover”.

    Pixie, in reality, they’re not pretty at all.

    Hilly, I might. Just for you.

    Finn, suddenly? What happened to our unrequited love before?

    LadyJaye, phew! And I was so close to suicide, too.

    Jen, no, I did it all for the benefit of my readers.

    Bec, that’s awesome. Britt’s a porn site.

    TMP, that’s what she keeps saying.

    Lynda, try un-checking the “Comment Luv” box. I requested the color of polish. The lady doing it thought I was insane.

    Hello, I can perch and look pretty too.

    Crystal, pink was one of the options we considered.

    Dragon, I plan on getting my nuts waxed on video sometime.

    Penelope, I’d like my wife to stay with me. That might push her over the edge.

    Reply

  35. Jennifer says:

    I hope you have some Birkies to go with that purple.

    Reply

  36. Jay
    Twitter:
    says:

    I hope that you gave that woman at the pedicure place a HUGE tip!

    Reply

  37. Karl says:

    There must have been a bet involved. Nevertheless, how awesome are those massage chairs? I plan on getting another pedi before I hit TC, though I’ll probably go with a nice pink polish.

    Reply

  38. MyWeeWorld says:

    Good Lord, I don’t even get pedicures and I’m pretty girlie. I didn’t even realize those were man feet I was looking at til I got to the bottom of the post. Y’all are cute!

    P.S. I don’t get pedicures because I can’t stand anyone touching my feet. I just do them myself. It’s my sister’s fault. She used to touch her toes to my toes in order to torture me, gak!!! The funny thing is that she can’t stand for her feet to be touched either.

    Reply

  39. Hoosier Girl says:

    I hope you tipped that girl well. What on earth did she think when she saw your feet?

    BTW, Miss Britt is blocked from my school, too. It comes up as “pornography”.

    J.

    Reply

  40. SwanShadow
    Twitter:
    says:

    I hate to bring this up, but…

    This is exactly how RuPaul got started.

    Reply

  41. Trukindog says:

    Dude you got balls as big as church bells!

    I didn’t think you would go to this extreme but still think of the fortune your gonna save on socks.

    Reply

  42. Sybil Law says:

    :clap: :thumbsup: :clap: :thumbsup:
    AWESOME!!!!!

    Reply

  43. bluepaintred says:

    Thats so cute! But I still think you should have gone with a different shade. maybe a blue?

    Reply

  44. Before? Well, frankly, the nails looked like tree bark, and the overall, um, aesthetic of your feet suffered as a result.

    Reply

  45. Jessica says:

    “Oh My God!!!” was all I could say after picking myself up off the floor from laughing.

    That is so amazing. Like kick ass. I must officially make Miss Britt my woman mentor. That is definitely something I would do with any man around me, if I could get away with it.

    Your piggly wigglies look so pretty! In purple! I dare you to wear sandals in public!!

    Reply

  46. Kay says:

    So when are you getting your clit pierced?

    Reply

  47. Ummm, dude, admit it. You’re Britt-whipped.

    As I said on her blog: “Wow! I only got my husband (then fiance) to get a manicure once for his raggedy cuticles and chewed nails and only for the wedding. Now, he would laugh at me and he’s one of the most metrosexual, cosmo drinking, frittata cooking men who does laundry and dishes that I know. He even drives a Mini Cooper which I believe is a chick car.”

    So, I’m not sure what that makes you, but me thinks you should get a gold hoop for your nose or dog collar so your …hehehe…”employee” can to lead you around and you can hold her cigarettes for her, eh? :sex014:

    Reply

  48. Avitable says:

    Jennifer, luckily, I don’t wear sandals.

    Jay, I gave her the tip and the shaft.

    AmyD, you should know by now that I’ll do anything for good blog fodder.

    Karl, no bet involved at all. Just sounded like a good idea.

    MyWeeWorld, I’m really ticklish so it was hard not to kick the woman in the head involuntarily.

    HG, yeah, we don’t know why she’s blocked. It’s a mystery.

    SwanShadow, sashay, shantay.

    Finn, I went by Frederic.

    Trukindog, this is true. I won’t keep tearing holes in them now.

    Sybil, look – you’re happy and there’s no jizz to be found.

    BPR, it was either purple, red, or pink.

    Squeaky, hmm, the aesthetic of my feet. Makes them sound so fancy.

    Jessica, I did have to wear the paper shoes out to the car and looked ridiculous!

    Kay, after my Brazilian.

    Scout’s Honor, I was planning on doing it anyway – I figured I’d sacrifice my dignity for my blog yet again.

    Reply

  49. kapgar
    Twitter:
    says:

    I’ve done the whole pedicure thing, but painting the nails? Not so much. You’re a daring mofo, my friend.

    Reply

  50. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    Quentin Tarantino (and every other foot fetishist) is either horrified or turgid because of this post.

    Let’s go with the latter.

    Reply

  51. Sybil Law says:

    I do miss the jizz, though.
    But weakly related; I’ll bet you can’t stop touching and stroking yer purty feet!!

    Reply

  52. DebbieS says:

    That’s it. I haven’t had a pedicure in months, but my 2 year-old has one, and now Av? Who do I have to show *my* boobies to to get a pedicure, hmm??

    Av, you look..precious ;) Also, the aforementioned 2 year-old loves your dance number and joins in every time I play it for her =)

    Reply

  53. Summer says:

    Adam, I wouldn’t let my husband’s feet on my side of the bed they were so hideous. I surprised him with a spa pedicure for his birthday in Feb. When we arrived at the salon he thought I was getting one. When the woman called his name he almost fainted. Well, he loved it and wants to return for a his and her pedicure. Your toes look cute.

    Reply

  54. Tracy Lynn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Thank god that Britt has accomplished this miracle! Cuz dude, your feet were UGLY. :thumbsup:

    Reply

  55. Buddysnuddys says:

    It really is a many shade of purple. At least on my computer. Maybe I should check the settings.

    Reply

  56. Avitable says:

    Kapgar, it’s all for the sake of the blog.

    TMP, or she’ll deserve it one of these days.

    BE Earl, I vote for turgid, too.

    Sybil, nah. I just ejaculate all over them.

    DebbieS, maybe I should star in my own kids’ tv show.

    Summer, are his toes purple?

    Tracy, now you want to suck my toes, don’t you?

    Buddys, yeah, it’s not that manly at all.

    Maria, you’re turned on, aren’t you?

    Reply

  57. Ewwww, nooooooo!! ROFL! Do you know there are people out there who do this on a regular basis and they are the reason I had to take down my pedicure photos from my Flickr. I won’t say anymore than that.

    Reply

  58. I thought it was remnants of the coffee creamer affecting my vision, but no, you really do look like you have feet of a human now! I bet that woman went home and got drunk after that ordeal though.

    And EVERYBODY looks ridiculous in those paper sandals.

    Reply

  59. Avitable says:

    BB, if they want to masturbate to my pedicured feet, they can have at it!

    Beth, you should do your toes like this and we can be twins.

    Girl, Dislocated, yes, but a large gorilla man looks even more ridiculous.

    Tracy, hahahhahahah!

    Reply

  60. golfwidow says:

    Holy the crap, I was just having my first professional pedicure around the same time you were. It’s like toe-lepathy.

    (I was probably hanging on just as tightly as you were. No one other than my husband and my rheumatologist has ever touched my feet before.)

    Reply

  61. DaDuck says:

    man they must have waxed your feet and toes!

    Reply

  62. othurme says:

    I feel like I’m reading Jester’s blog right now.

    Reply

  63. Avitable says:

    Golfwidow, toe-lepathy – genius!

    DaDuck, they scrubbed off a bunch of nasty looking skin, that’s for sure.

    Othurme, my gayness quotient is hovering around 60% right now, I know.

    Reply

  64. Becky says:

    Dammit, all these people muscling in on my USP! It ain’t right, I tells ya!

    Reply

  65. Lynda says:

    It says I have to log into WordPress. I just have been too lazy.

    Reply

  66. Avitable says:

    Becky, what’s “USP”? And I’d make a lovely drag queen, wouldn’t I?

    Lynda, that’s weird – it shouldn’t make you do that.

    Reply

  67. Looks like mother/daughter feet. Do you often dress alike too?

    Reply

  68. Avitable says:

    Been there, only if I run out of laundry.

    Reply

  69. Rob O. says:

    Nothing wrong with getting a pedi – and if your buds give you any crap about it, just mention how their girlfriends or wives have been talking about their “tree climbers.”

    Now, the nail polish is a whole other thing…

    Reply

  70. Avitable says:

    Rob, well, the nail polish was all for the blog. Although I’m getting kind of used to it now.

    Reply

  71. I knew it!

    I knew you were a damn woman. You are my aunt Marlene aren’t you?

    The facial hair gave it away.

    Reply

    @Redneck Mommy, yes. Now give Auntie a big kiss.

    Reply

  72. Jami says:

    Having painted purple toenails does not mean that you are gay or a drag queen. Right?

    Reply

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