Foot fetish
Confused? Befuddled? Horrified? Concerned for the fate of my sexuality? Go find out how the hell this happened.
Posted in I am not gay | Tags: avitable, britt, feet, foot, metrosexual, miss britt, nail-polish, pedicure
Posted in I am not gay | Tags: avitable, britt, feet, foot, metrosexual, miss britt, nail-polish, pedicure
- I have posted: June 30th can't come fast enough! http://bit.ly/acCZiL
- I can't write an angry tweet without it seeming passive aggressive so instead I'll just bemoan the existence of gossips.
- It's barely 8 AM and I've already responded to 45 work emails. I should totally reward myself with . . . um . . . more work!
- I have posted: Pants http://bit.ly/d7rSDq
- It's 4:30 and I'm about ready to just call it a day. I cannot get motivated to do anything. Soooo bored!
Thank GOD Britt came to your rescue because your dogs were barkin'!
Why is it that I have no problem with the purple nail polish and would like to know the exact brand name and color for my pedicure this Saturday?
Reply
End of times… end of times…
Orange would have looked better.
Reply
Damned if I don't love a man with purple toenails….
Marry me… :sex023:
Reply
Damn you have better looking feet than I do.
Well done Britt! (I do feel bad for the little Asian lady.)
Reply
You now have happy sexy toes. I can see them smiling through that polish.
Reply
Miss-Britt is blocked at my work so I can only assume that these are your feet and that you've decided to embrace your feminine side. Also that you have four legs.
You're weird.
Reply
That reminds me, I need a pedicure…
Reply
My hat's off to you, man.
Reply
You wearing those babies to TC?
Reply
That's just sooo wrong.
Reply
That's HOT Avi!
:thumbsup:
I've tried for years to get hubs to get a pedi. Maybe he just needs to meet Britt and her boobies.
Reply
You finally found something more disgusting than the coprophagia. That's just fuckin great. Thanks.
Reply
I love a man who gets a pedi – it's a great way to relax and who doesn't love trimmed up feet?
But the purple polish? Sets you apart as a man among boys.
Reply
I think Britt rocks… and so do you. I have the same color toes! Heh
I am showing all of this to MY boss and telling him that I will have Britt on his ass if he ever defies me…
Think it will work? :boobs4:
Reply
I LOVE it!!!
I do feel sorry for the poor soul who had to touch them before but now they are way cool!
YAY Britt!
Reply
Dude, that is awesome.
Reply
Wow I am amazed. That is hot.
Reply
That Avitable is so hot right now.
Reply
Ahhhh, the power of the Britt.
Reply
But will she ever get you into full-length pants?
I hope she paid you well. :clap:
Reply
They are starting to look a tad bit better. You have another appointment in two weeks, right?
Reply
*squeals* OMG! I have a pair of open toed stiletto's in that exact color!!! wanna borrow them?
Reply
What was your take in this? Boobs, money, or maybe both? Is there anything you won't do? Nevermind… don't answer that!
Reply
That is seriously hot.
Reply
2 embarrassing posts in as many days. what could possibly be next?
Reply
That woman might not have been enjoying herself, but she did a hell of a job. Your feet look like FEET now! It's AMAZING!
Reply
Can't I just masturbate to the photos without knowing the back story?
:sexytime:
Reply
There is power in purple. My toes are almost always some shade of purple these days. However, next time I would go for the french. You have nice long toes for it.
Reply
bwahahahahaha!
just lovely
Reply
Aw, cute little purple piggies! Aren't they just so sweet! Just wanna grab 'em and "This little purple piggie went to market, this little purple piggie stayed home, this lit…"
Wait, did I just type that out loud?
Sorry. Keep the rest of that purple piggie fantasy to myself…
Reply
Your feet actually look pretty. And I'm not one for liking anybody's feet but my own.
Reply
I'd take pretty cupcake toes over nasty toes any day! They look so sweet and cute
.
Are you coming to Philly with that look?
Reply
Those are your purple toes? You clean up pretty nice. And I like purple. I suddenly find myself strangely attracted to you… :batting:
Reply
Those are some very sexy toenails. I stated in my most recet 10 things about me post that pretty toenails are essential to life. You now have a reason to continue living.
Reply
Did you lose a bet, you homo, I mean "metrosexual"?
Reply
That is quite quite scary – can't wait to see what Britt drugged you with but work is blocking her site as the category of 'sex' is filtered! I mean, seriously?! A lovely site where 2 girls 1 cup is displayed proudly is fine, but Britt is banned?! :violent018:
Reply
You need to give Britt a raise because she can sell anything to anyone!
Reply
Britt's blog won't let me comment.
Did you/she request the polish, or did the Asian lady just put it on your toes?
Also, is your blog template going back to the unicorns now?
Reply
but how will you perch on tree limbs now??
(i'm so proud of you for getting a pedicure. i'll show you my boobies now. but do me a favor and get a buff or clear polish next time. the purple is just not right. xoxo)
Reply
my dear, they look delightful. i might've chosen a pearly-pink, but hey, different strokes
Reply
Pedicure, check. Up next….WAXING. Brit should start you off slowly, say with a half leg wax and then work up to a brazilian. :clap:
Reply
How the hell are you going to top this? Full make up and drag?? Hmmm there's a thought – I love a man in make-up :thumbsup:
Reply
Lisa, I think it was called "Gay Princess Purple".
NYCWD, had I thought about it, I totally would have done orange.
M.A.D., how many men do you know with purple toenails?
Nat, no, I really don't. My feet are horrible.
Bubblewench, they are definitely smiling.
Bloggess, I can't believe she's blocked and I'm not. I have three legs, but one is a penis.
Em, and purple polish?
Rich, is that hat off so that you can cover your eyes from the horror of my feet?
Absurdist, well, it is in less than two weeks, so possibly.
Nobody, but it feels so right.
Sam, I'll do anything for the blog. I'm shameless. Boobs had nothing to do with it!
RW, but you're a coprophagiphile, so you'd say that.
Gwen, so men have purple toes? Good to know.
DB, we're twins!
Turnbaby, she didn't even use gloves.
Mike, I prefer "sssuper".
Amanda, you totally want to suck them, don't you?
Dave, you totally want to suck them, don't you?
Britt, now if I could just get you in for that moustache waxing . . .
Metalmom, no, I'm anti-pants!
TrishK, I don't think I can keep this up every two weeks.
Zom, squee!
Mindy, my first thought is always "Will this make a good blog post?"
Kat, I know. I'm masturbating to a picture of myself as we speak.
Charissa, probably something mundane and boring now.
Squeaky Wheel, what did they look like before?
Grant, of course! Send pics.
Winter, the French pedicure might be a little too gay for me.
Christie, I'm a pretty pretty princess.
Heather, how about "This little piggy washed himself off in nail polish remover".
Pixie, in reality, they're not pretty at all.
Hilly, I might. Just for you.
Finn, suddenly? What happened to our unrequited love before?
LadyJaye, phew! And I was so close to suicide, too.
Jen, no, I did it all for the benefit of my readers.
Bec, that's awesome. Britt's a porn site.
TMP, that's what she keeps saying.
Lynda, try un-checking the "Comment Luv" box. I requested the color of polish. The lady doing it thought I was insane.
Hello, I can perch and look pretty too.
Crystal, pink was one of the options we considered.
Dragon, I plan on getting my nuts waxed on video sometime.
Penelope, I'd like my wife to stay with me. That might push her over the edge.
Reply
I hope you have some Birkies to go with that purple.
Reply
I hope that you gave that woman at the pedicure place a HUGE tip!
Reply
So, what bet did you lose? :lmao:
Reply
There must have been a bet involved. Nevertheless, how awesome are those massage chairs? I plan on getting another pedi before I hit TC, though I'll probably go with a nice pink polish.
Reply
Good Lord, I don't even get pedicures and I'm pretty girlie. I didn't even realize those were man feet I was looking at til I got to the bottom of the post. Y'all are cute!
P.S. I don't get pedicures because I can't stand anyone touching my feet. I just do them myself. It's my sister's fault. She used to touch her toes to my toes in order to torture me, gak!!! The funny thing is that she can't stand for her feet to be touched either.
Reply
I hope you tipped that girl well. What on earth did she think when she saw your feet?
BTW, Miss Britt is blocked from my school, too. It comes up as "pornography".
J.
Reply
I hate to bring this up, but…
This is exactly how RuPaul got started.
Reply
That was you?
Reply
Dude you got balls as big as church bells!
I didn't think you would go to this extreme but still think of the fortune your gonna save on socks.
Reply
:clap: :thumbsup: :clap: :thumbsup:
AWESOME!!!!!
Reply
Thats so cute! But I still think you should have gone with a different shade. maybe a blue?
Reply
Before? Well, frankly, the nails looked like tree bark, and the overall, um, aesthetic of your feet suffered as a result.
Reply
"Oh My God!!!" was all I could say after picking myself up off the floor from laughing.
That is so amazing. Like kick ass. I must officially make Miss Britt my woman mentor. That is definitely something I would do with any man around me, if I could get away with it.
Your piggly wigglies look so pretty! In purple! I dare you to wear sandals in public!!
Reply
So when are you getting your clit pierced?
Reply
Ummm, dude, admit it. You're Britt-whipped.
As I said on her blog: "Wow! I only got my husband (then fiance) to get a manicure once for his raggedy cuticles and chewed nails and only for the wedding. Now, he would laugh at me and he's one of the most metrosexual, cosmo drinking, frittata cooking men who does laundry and dishes that I know. He even drives a Mini Cooper which I believe is a chick car."
So, I'm not sure what that makes you, but me thinks you should get a gold hoop for your nose or dog collar so your …hehehe…"employee" can to lead you around and you can hold her cigarettes for her, eh? :sex014:
Reply
Jennifer, luckily, I don't wear sandals.
Jay, I gave her the tip and the shaft.
AmyD, you should know by now that I'll do anything for good blog fodder.
Karl, no bet involved at all. Just sounded like a good idea.
MyWeeWorld, I'm really ticklish so it was hard not to kick the woman in the head involuntarily.
HG, yeah, we don't know why she's blocked. It's a mystery.
SwanShadow, sashay, shantay.
Finn, I went by Frederic.
Trukindog, this is true. I won't keep tearing holes in them now.
Sybil, look – you're happy and there's no jizz to be found.
BPR, it was either purple, red, or pink.
Squeaky, hmm, the aesthetic of my feet. Makes them sound so fancy.
Jessica, I did have to wear the paper shoes out to the car and looked ridiculous!
Kay, after my Brazilian.
Scout's Honor, I was planning on doing it anyway – I figured I'd sacrifice my dignity for my blog yet again.
Reply
I've done the whole pedicure thing, but painting the nails? Not so much. You're a daring mofo, my friend.
Reply
Give her time. She will wear you down.
Reply
Quentin Tarantino (and every other foot fetishist) is either horrified or turgid because of this post.
Let's go with the latter.
Reply
I do miss the jizz, though.
But weakly related; I'll bet you can't stop touching and stroking yer purty feet!!
Reply
That's it. I haven't had a pedicure in months, but my 2 year-old has one, and now Av? Who do I have to show *my* boobies to to get a pedicure, hmm??
Av, you look..precious
Also, the aforementioned 2 year-old loves your dance number and joins in every time I play it for her =)
Reply
Adam, I wouldn't let my husband's feet on my side of the bed they were so hideous. I surprised him with a spa pedicure for his birthday in Feb. When we arrived at the salon he thought I was getting one. When the woman called his name he almost fainted. Well, he loved it and wants to return for a his and her pedicure. Your toes look cute.
Reply
Thank god that Britt has accomplished this miracle! Cuz dude, your feet were UGLY. :thumbsup:
Reply
It really is a many shade of purple. At least on my computer. Maybe I should check the settings.
Reply
Wow….
Reply
Kapgar, it's all for the sake of the blog.
TMP, or she'll deserve it one of these days.
BE Earl, I vote for turgid, too.
Sybil, nah. I just ejaculate all over them.
DebbieS, maybe I should star in my own kids' tv show.
Summer, are his toes purple?
Tracy, now you want to suck my toes, don't you?
Buddys, yeah, it's not that manly at all.
Maria, you're turned on, aren't you?
Reply
Ewwww, nooooooo!! ROFL! Do you know there are people out there who do this on a regular basis and they are the reason I had to take down my pedicure photos from my Flickr. I won't say anymore than that.
Reply
awww, how purty
Reply
I thought it was remnants of the coffee creamer affecting my vision, but no, you really do look like you have feet of a human now! I bet that woman went home and got drunk after that ordeal though.
And EVERYBODY looks ridiculous in those paper sandals.
Reply
Dude, SUCK your TOES? :puke:
Reply
BB, if they want to masturbate to my pedicured feet, they can have at it!
Beth, you should do your toes like this and we can be twins.
Girl, Dislocated, yes, but a large gorilla man looks even more ridiculous.
Tracy, hahahhahahah!
Reply
Holy the crap, I was just having my first professional pedicure around the same time you were. It's like toe-lepathy.
(I was probably hanging on just as tightly as you were. No one other than my husband and my rheumatologist has ever touched my feet before.)
Reply
man they must have waxed your feet and toes!
Reply
I feel like I'm reading Jester's blog right now.
Reply
Golfwidow, toe-lepathy – genius!
DaDuck, they scrubbed off a bunch of nasty looking skin, that's for sure.
Othurme, my gayness quotient is hovering around 60% right now, I know.
Reply
Dammit, all these people muscling in on my USP! It ain't right, I tells ya!
Reply
It says I have to log into Wordpress. I just have been too lazy.
Reply
Becky, what's "USP"? And I'd make a lovely drag queen, wouldn't I?
Lynda, that's weird – it shouldn't make you do that.
Reply
USP = Unique Selling Point
Reply
Becky, aha!
Reply
Looks like mother/daughter feet. Do you often dress alike too?
Reply
Been there, only if I run out of laundry.
Reply
Nothing wrong with getting a pedi – and if your buds give you any crap about it, just mention how their girlfriends or wives have been talking about their "tree climbers."
Now, the nail polish is a whole other thing…
Reply
Rob, well, the nail polish was all for the blog. Although I'm getting kind of used to it now.
Reply
I knew it!
I knew you were a damn woman. You are my aunt Marlene aren't you?
The facial hair gave it away.
Reply
@Redneck Mommy, yes. Now give Auntie a big kiss.
Reply
Having painted purple toenails does not mean that you are gay or a drag queen. Right?
Reply