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posted by 
Tuesday, April 22, 2008 @ 12:00 am
filed under I am not gay 
tagged avitable, britt, feet, foot, metrosexual, miss britt, nail polish, pedicure
Thank GOD Britt came to your rescue because your dogs were barkin'!
Why is it that I have no problem with the purple nail polish and would like to know the exact brand name and color for my pedicure this Saturday?
Comments by Lisa
End of times... end of times...
Orange would have looked better.
Comments by NYCWD
Damned if I don't love a man with purple toenails....
Marry me...
Comments by Miss Anne Derstood
Damn you have better looking feet than I do.
Well done Britt! (I do feel bad for the little Asian lady.)
Comments by Nat
You now have happy sexy toes. I can see them smiling through that polish.
Comments by bubblewench
Miss-Britt is blocked at my work so I can only assume that these are your feet and that you've decided to embrace your feminine side. Also that you have four legs.
You're weird.
Comments by Jenny, Bloggess
That reminds me, I need a pedicure...
Comments by Em
My hat's off to you, man.
Comments by Rich | Championable
You wearing those babies to TC?
Comments by The Absurdist
That's just sooo wrong.
Comments by Nobody™
That's HOT Avi!
I've tried for years to get hubs to get a pedi. Maybe he just needs to meet Britt and her boobies.
Comments by sam
You finally found something more disgusting than the coprophagia. That's just fuckin great. Thanks.
Comments by RW
I love a man who gets a pedi - it's a great way to relax and who doesn't love trimmed up feet?
But the purple polish? Sets you apart as a man among boys.
Comments by Gwen
I think Britt rocks... and so do you. I have the same color toes! Heh
I am showing all of this to MY boss and telling him that I will have Britt on his ass if he ever defies me...
Think it will work?
Comments by DutchBitch
I LOVE it!!!
I do feel sorry for the poor soul who had to touch them before but now they are way cool!
YAY Britt!
Comments by Turnbaby
Dude, that is awesome.
Comments by Mike
Wow I am amazed. That is hot.
Comments by Amanda
That Avitable is so hot right now.
Comments by Dave2
Ahhhh, the power of the Britt. :D
Comments by Miss Britt
But will she ever get you into full-length pants?
I hope she paid you well.
Comments by metalmom
They are starting to look a tad bit better. You have another appointment in two weeks, right?
Comments by Trishk
*squeals* OMG! I have a pair of open toed stiletto's in that exact color!!! wanna borrow them?
Comments by Zom
What was your take in this? Boobs, money, or maybe both? Is there anything you won't do? Nevermind... don't answer that!
Comments by Mindy
That is seriously hot.
Comments by Kat
2 embarrassing posts in as many days. what could possibly be next?
Comments by Charissa
That woman might not have been enjoying herself, but she did a hell of a job. Your feet look like FEET now! It's AMAZING!
Comments by Squeaky Wheel
Can't I just masturbate to the photos without knowing the back story?
Comments by Grant
There is power in purple. My toes are almost always some shade of purple these days. However, next time I would go for the french. You have nice long toes for it.
Comments by Winter
bwahahahahaha!
just lovely :D
Comments by Christie
Aw, cute little purple piggies! Aren't they just so sweet! Just wanna grab 'em and "This little purple piggie went to market, this little purple piggie stayed home, this lit..."
Wait, did I just type that out loud?
Sorry. Keep the rest of that purple piggie fantasy to myself...
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
Your feet actually look pretty. And I'm not one for liking anybody's feet but my own.
Comments by *pixie*
I'd take pretty cupcake toes over nasty toes any day! They look so sweet and cute ;).
Are you coming to Philly with that look?
Comments by Hilly
Those are your purple toes? You clean up pretty nice. And I like purple. I suddenly find myself strangely attracted to you...
Comments by Finn
Those are some very sexy toenails. I stated in my most recet 10 things about me post that pretty toenails are essential to life. You now have a reason to continue living.
Comments by Lady Jaye
Did you lose a bet, you homo, I mean "metrosexual"?
Comments by Jen, South Florida
That is quite quite scary - can't wait to see what Britt drugged you with but work is blocking her site as the category of 'sex' is filtered! I mean, seriously?! A lovely site where 2 girls 1 cup is displayed proudly is fine, but Britt is banned?!
Comments by Bec
You need to give Britt a raise because she can sell anything to anyone!
Comments by themuttprincess
Britt's blog won't let me comment.
Did you/she request the polish, or did the Asian lady just put it on your toes?
Also, is your blog template going back to the unicorns now?
Comments by Lynda
but how will you perch on tree limbs now??
(i'm so proud of you for getting a pedicure. i'll show you my boobies now. but do me a favor and get a buff or clear polish next time. the purple is just not right. xoxo)
Comments by hello haha narf
my dear, they look delightful. i might've chosen a pearly-pink, but hey, different strokes
Comments by Crys
Pedicure, check. Up next....WAXING. Brit should start you off slowly, say with a half leg wax and then work up to a brazilian.
Comments by Dragon
How the hell are you going to top this? Full make up and drag?? Hmmm there's a thought - I love a man in make-up
Comments by Penelope
Lisa, I think it was called "Gay Princess Purple".
NYCWD, had I thought about it, I totally would have done orange.
M.A.D., how many men do you know with purple toenails?
Nat, no, I really don't. My feet are horrible.
Bubblewench, they are definitely smiling.
Bloggess, I can't believe she's blocked and I'm not. I have three legs, but one is a penis.
Em, and purple polish?
Rich, is that hat off so that you can cover your eyes from the horror of my feet?
Absurdist, well, it is in less than two weeks, so possibly.
Nobody, but it feels so right.
Sam, I'll do anything for the blog. I'm shameless. Boobs had nothing to do with it!
RW, but you're a coprophagiphile, so you'd say that.
Gwen, so men have purple toes? Good to know.
DB, we're twins!
Turnbaby, she didn't even use gloves.
Mike, I prefer "sssuper".
Amanda, you totally want to suck them, don't you?
Dave, you totally want to suck them, don't you?
Britt, now if I could just get you in for that moustache waxing . . .
Metalmom, no, I'm anti-pants!
TrishK, I don't think I can keep this up every two weeks.
Zom, squee!
Mindy, my first thought is always "Will this make a good blog post?"
Kat, I know. I'm masturbating to a picture of myself as we speak.
Charissa, probably something mundane and boring now.
Squeaky Wheel, what did they look like before?
Grant, of course! Send pics.
Winter, the French pedicure might be a little too gay for me.
Christie, I'm a pretty pretty princess.
Heather, how about "This little piggy washed himself off in nail polish remover".
Pixie, in reality, they're not pretty at all.
Hilly, I might. Just for you.
Finn, suddenly? What happened to our unrequited love before?
LadyJaye, phew! And I was so close to suicide, too.
Jen, no, I did it all for the benefit of my readers.
Bec, that's awesome. Britt's a porn site.
TMP, that's what she keeps saying.
Lynda, try un-checking the "Comment Luv" box. I requested the color of polish. The lady doing it thought I was insane.
Hello, I can perch and look pretty too.
Crystal, pink was one of the options we considered.
Dragon, I plan on getting my nuts waxed on video sometime.
Penelope, I'd like my wife to stay with me. That might push her over the edge.
Comments by Avitable
I hope you have some Birkies to go with that purple.
Comments by Jennifer
I hope that you gave that woman at the pedicure place a HUGE tip!
Comments by Jay
So, what bet did you lose?
Comments by AmyD
There must have been a bet involved. Nevertheless, how awesome are those massage chairs? I plan on getting another pedi before I hit TC, though I'll probably go with a nice pink polish.
Comments by Karl
Good Lord, I don't even get pedicures and I'm pretty girlie. I didn't even realize those were man feet I was looking at til I got to the bottom of the post. Y'all are cute!
P.S. I don't get pedicures because I can't stand anyone touching my feet. I just do them myself. It's my sister's fault. She used to touch her toes to my toes in order to torture me, gak!!! The funny thing is that she can't stand for her feet to be touched either.
Comments by MyWeeWorld
I hope you tipped that girl well. What on earth did she think when she saw your feet?
BTW, Miss Britt is blocked from my school, too. It comes up as "pornography".
J.
Comments by Hoosier Girl
I hate to bring this up, but...
This is exactly how RuPaul got started.
Comments by SwanShadow
That was you?
Comments by Finn
Dude you got balls as big as church bells!
I didn't think you would go to this extreme but still think of the fortune your gonna save on socks.
Comments by Trukindog
AWESOME!!!!!
Comments by Sybil Law
Thats so cute! But I still think you should have gone with a different shade. maybe a blue?
Comments by bluepaintred
Before? Well, frankly, the nails looked like tree bark, and the overall, um, aesthetic of your feet suffered as a result.
Comments by Squeaky Wheel
"Oh My God!!!" was all I could say after picking myself up off the floor from laughing.
That is so amazing. Like kick ass. I must officially make Miss Britt my woman mentor. That is definitely something I would do with any man around me, if I could get away with it.
Your piggly wigglies look so pretty! In purple! I dare you to wear sandals in public!!
Comments by Jessica
So when are you getting your clit pierced?
Comments by Kay
Ummm, dude, admit it. You're Britt-whipped.
As I said on her blog: "Wow! I only got my husband (then fiance) to get a manicure once for his raggedy cuticles and chewed nails and only for the wedding. Now, he would laugh at me and he's one of the most metrosexual, cosmo drinking, frittata cooking men who does laundry and dishes that I know. He even drives a Mini Cooper which I believe is a chick car."
So, I'm not sure what that makes you, but me thinks you should get a gold hoop for your nose or dog collar so your ...hehehe..."employee" can to lead you around and you can hold her cigarettes for her, eh?
Comments by Scout's Honor
Jennifer, luckily, I don't wear sandals.
Jay, I gave her the tip and the shaft.
AmyD, you should know by now that I'll do anything for good blog fodder.
Karl, no bet involved at all. Just sounded like a good idea.
MyWeeWorld, I'm really ticklish so it was hard not to kick the woman in the head involuntarily.
HG, yeah, we don't know why she's blocked. It's a mystery.
SwanShadow, sashay, shantay.
Finn, I went by Frederic.
Trukindog, this is true. I won't keep tearing holes in them now.
Sybil, look - you're happy and there's no jizz to be found.
BPR, it was either purple, red, or pink.
Squeaky, hmm, the aesthetic of my feet. Makes them sound so fancy.
Jessica, I did have to wear the paper shoes out to the car and looked ridiculous!
Kay, after my Brazilian.
Scout's Honor, I was planning on doing it anyway - I figured I'd sacrifice my dignity for my blog yet again.
Comments by Avitable
I've done the whole pedicure thing, but painting the nails? Not so much. You're a daring mofo, my friend.
Comments by kapgar
Give her time. She will wear you down.
Comments by themuttprincess
Quentin Tarantino (and every other foot fetishist) is either horrified or turgid because of this post.
Let's go with the latter.
Comments by B.E. Earl
I do miss the jizz, though.
But weakly related; I'll bet you can't stop touching and stroking yer purty feet!!
Comments by Sybil Law
That's it. I haven't had a pedicure in months, but my 2 year-old has one, and now Av? Who do I have to show *my* boobies to to get a pedicure, hmm??
Av, you look..precious ;) Also, the aforementioned 2 year-old loves your dance number and joins in every time I play it for her =)
Comments by DebbieS
Adam, I wouldn't let my husband's feet on my side of the bed they were so hideous. I surprised him with a spa pedicure for his birthday in Feb. When we arrived at the salon he thought I was getting one. When the woman called his name he almost fainted. Well, he loved it and wants to return for a his and her pedicure. Your toes look cute.
Comments by Summer
Thank god that Britt has accomplished this miracle! Cuz dude, your feet were UGLY.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
It really is a many shade of purple. At least on my computer. Maybe I should check the settings.
Comments by Buddysnuddys
Wow....
Comments by Maria
Kapgar, it's all for the sake of the blog.
TMP, or she'll deserve it one of these days.
BE Earl, I vote for turgid, too.
Sybil, nah. I just ejaculate all over them.
DebbieS, maybe I should star in my own kids' tv show.
Summer, are his toes purple?
Tracy, now you want to suck my toes, don't you?
Buddys, yeah, it's not that manly at all.
Maria, you're turned on, aren't you?
Comments by Avitable
Ewwww, nooooooo!! ROFL! Do you know there are people out there who do this on a regular basis and they are the reason I had to take down my pedicure photos from my Flickr. I won't say anymore than that.
Comments by BlondeBlogger
awww, how purty
Comments by beth
I thought it was remnants of the coffee creamer affecting my vision, but no, you really do look like you have feet of a human now! I bet that woman went home and got drunk after that ordeal though.
And EVERYBODY looks ridiculous in those paper sandals.
Comments by Girl, Dislocated
Dude, SUCK your TOES?
Comments by Tracy Lynn
BB, if they want to masturbate to my pedicured feet, they can have at it!
Beth, you should do your toes like this and we can be twins.
Girl, Dislocated, yes, but a large gorilla man looks even more ridiculous.
Tracy, hahahhahahah!
Comments by Avitable
Holy the crap, I was just having my first professional pedicure around the same time you were. It's like toe-lepathy.
(I was probably hanging on just as tightly as you were. No one other than my husband and my rheumatologist has ever touched my feet before.)
Comments by golfwidow
man they must have waxed your feet and toes!
Comments by DaDuck
I feel like I'm reading Jester's blog right now.
Comments by othurme
Golfwidow, toe-lepathy - genius!
DaDuck, they scrubbed off a bunch of nasty looking skin, that's for sure.
Othurme, my gayness quotient is hovering around 60% right now, I know.
Comments by Avitable
Dammit, all these people muscling in on my USP! It ain't right, I tells ya!
Comments by Becky
It says I have to log into Wordpress. I just have been too lazy.
Comments by Lynda
Becky, what's "USP"? And I'd make a lovely drag queen, wouldn't I?
Lynda, that's weird - it shouldn't make you do that.
Comments by Avitable
USP = Unique Selling Point :-)
Comments by Becky
Becky, aha!
Comments by Avitable
Looks like mother/daughter feet. Do you often dress alike too?
Comments by Been there,,.done that
Been there, only if I run out of laundry.
Comments by Avitable
Nothing wrong with getting a ped