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Clusterfuck Circus

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70 Replies to “Clusterfuck Circus”

  1. Em

    I’m not sure how it happened, but it did; I’m hooked on the avitable. There was no post here earlier this morning and it felt wrong. And now that it’s here I can go on with my day. Thank you.

  2. Grant

    It’s a major improvement, although I can suggest an even better caption for #4: “I tried to kiss Susie on the playground, but she wouldn’t take off her pants. Naturally I killed and anally raped the bitch in that order. Then the teacher saw and said I crossed some arbitrary ‘line’ and started to spank me so, naturally, I killed and anally raped the bitch in that order.”

    On second thought, it’s too long and kind of hard to believe a kid that age would know a word like “arbitrary”. Stick with yours.

  3. Avitable

    Britt, I think it might be. Although there would probably be a “dumbass” in there, too.

    Bubblewench, that’s better than morning gas.

    Kapgar, it’s so true, though.

    Nobody, he always looked shifty.

    Karen, there’s a whole group of ones out there that are called that, too.

    TMP, the kids would actually age, too.

    Heather, I bet your kids will sound just like that, too.

    Turnbaby, such a giggler!

    Robin, about time? But I try so hard!

    Em, yeah, my blog didn’t publish it at midnight like it was supposed to.

    Kyra, that’s the most frightening one to me because it seems to close to reality.

    TrishK, well, at the least, they’re better than the originals.

    Jessica, the new ones actually aren’t as horrible – they’re a bit darker.

    Mindy, you were more of a Gasoline Alley fan, weren’t you?

    Golfwidow, it’s a resilient strip.

    MsBatman, thanks!

    RW, there’s no pleasing some people. Some cranky old men people.

    Mr. Fabulous, well, I got the idea from you and your Normal Rockwell captions, which I still plan on stealing.

    BE Earl, is that a quote from something?

    Dave, just wait until my Elizabeth Hurley LOLBrits.

    Hilly, that’s my favorite, too.

    Amanda, and you can beat them up if they won’t give you a good price, too.

    Finn, she’ll come, too.

    BPR, Bil Keane is probably rolling over in his grave. If he’s dead.

    Grant, your line is much better.

    Karl, have you seen the new ones by his son? They are a bit edgier, too.

  4. Hoosier Girl

    This is just wrong. “Family Circus” is an American tradition. You are an American, aren’t you, comrade? :lmao:

    Just kidding. Those were funny. Kind of sick and twisted in its own way, but then…isn’t that what we come here for? 😛


  5. Jeff

    Uh oh, I hear Bil Keane has a crack lawyer team that hunts down people like you for things like this. The penalty if convicted is horrific. You have to read EVERY Family Circus ever published! I’ll visit you in the funny farm – if you don’t kill yourself first.

  6. Avitable

    HG, just kind of sick and twisted?

    Sarah, you didn’t see the instructional video? http://youtube.com/watch?v=w_AE75lK7oY

    Penelope, you haven’t been missing out. The originals are horrible.

    Jeff, Bil Keane is a vicious old bastard.

    Sandi, that’s what I called a penis until I was 30.

    AmyD, and so true, too!

    Crystal, that’s just because that’s how Lee makes extra money!

    Mindy, yes, it did. I have the complete collection and love it.

    Maman, probably.

    MyWeeWorld, what, men can’t feel that way too?

    Claudia, Fab makes you wrinkle your nose?

    Sybil, you should print them out and put them on your fridge.

  7. Bec

    Oh so THAT’s Family Circus! Glad to see you are showing those of us that missed out on this treat. It’s so modern and up to date. Dare I say ‘hip’ and ‘with it’?

    The Sex Offender one is going up on my desk at work! With your permission, obviously…!

  8. Avitable

    Sybil, maybe you’re not such a soccer mom after all . . . 😀

    Tug, how do you know Fab didn’t channel me?

    Dan, I was thinking about that, actually.

    Winter, that parent is you, isn’t it?

    Laura, snicker!

    Metalmom, grazie.

    TMP, or maybe they’re just horrible malformed midgets.

    Bec, of course you have my permission!

    Brandon, oh, c’mon. It was dead long before that.

  9. Scout's Honor

    Love it, love it, love it. Sadly, my head is swimming after yelling at my kids all evening like a shrill biotch, that it took a while to understand the DUI one. Sad. Pathetic. My Berkeley education is squandered on this life of screeching, bitching, and whines. Makes me a perfect Mommy blogger, eh? Thanks for the laugh tonight. I needed it.

  10. Meg

    I couldn’t wait up till Midnight last night, you big tease, but finally got around to checking out the much-heralded post. Hil-flippin-larious. Recaptioning ees berry funny. I likey!

  11. Avitable

    Tug, he usually does. No lasting power.

    Zom, I know. I’d order a cake right now.

    Charlie, glad to help.

    Trukindog, I might just have to.

    Scout’s, well, Berkeley is a place of hippies and nutjobs, to be fair.

    Girl, Dislocated, I agree.

    Gwen, good to hear!

    BE Earl, I love that movie – haven’t seen it in a while, though.

    Hello, and your post was a reason to love you!

    Meg, well, you missed it. It wasn’t this post – it was the one before it. With the feet.

    Amanda, pretty sure? Are you sitting in water?

  12. whall

    Wow, I’m actually impressed. As soon as I read the first one, and saw that there would be more, I immediately braced myself for an onslaught of offensive pictures and scenarios that would make my skin crawl while simultaneously making me laugh inside.

    But you only did the 2nd half.

    Nice job!

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