Clusterfuck Circus

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70 Responses to Clusterfuck Circus

  1. Miss Britt says:

    hahahahahahahahhahahaha

    I think I should get some credit for that “would it fucking kill him to wash up after himself” bit. I’m sure that’s a direct quote from me.

    Reply

  2. bubblewench says:

    oh the morning giggles…. thanks…

    Reply

  3. kapgar
    Twitter:
    says:

    Why is it that I can see you as the youngest kid toting the teddy bear in the first comic? I love the sex offender one.

    Reply

  4. Nobody™ says:

    HAHAHA. He’s a sex offender! I knew it!

    Reply

  5. Ha ha ha ha Dysfunctional Family Circus!

    Reply

  6. That sounds exactly what kids would be repeating, if it was set in the real world!

    Good job!

    Reply

  7. Love the wet pussy one! And the “fucking bathroom” – genius!

    Reply

  8. Turnbaby says:

    Awesome! I love this kind of parody–the ‘wet pussy’ thing is making me giggle.

    Reply

  9. Robin
    Twitter:
    says:

    :boobs4: This is one of your best yet, it’s about time you amused me.

    Reply

  10. Em says:

    I’m not sure how it happened, but it did; I’m hooked on the avitable. There was no post here earlier this morning and it felt wrong. And now that it’s here I can go on with my day. Thank you.

    Reply

  11. Em says:

    Additionally, I would like to say that Turnbaby looks like Michelle Pfeiffer in that picture.

    Reply

  12. Kyra says:

    The sex offender one is my favorite :thumbsup:

    Reply

  13. Jessica says:

    I HATE Family Circus with a passion! It was one of those cartoons where you’re like, “WHY IS THIS STILL HERE? AND FOR SO LONG??”

    But thankfully, it has been updated.

    Reply

  14. Mindy says:

    You are a genius! This was never my favorite growing up… but now I think it is! :lmao:

    Reply

  15. golfwidow says:

    Just when I had finally declared, once and for all, that “Family Circus” could never, ever, amuse me.

    Reply

  16. RW says:

    Wow Adam, THIS really sucked.
    :poke:

    Reply

  17. Mr. Fabulous says:

    On the one hand, I am applauding you because these are awesome, and on the other hand I am kicking my ass for not thinking of it first…

    Reply

  18. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    The Family Circus.

    “And it’s always there, in the lower right hand corner, just waiting to suck.” – not anymore. Thanks!

    Reply

  19. Dave2
    Twitter:
    says:

    Family Circus? Really? Is nothing sacred?

    Here’s hoping. :woohoo:

    Reply

  20. Hilly says:

    Hahaha, my favorite is the “would it kill him to wash up after himself” one…classic!

    Reply

  21. Amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    The Xanax one is my favorite, I love child drug dealers. They give the best prices.

    Reply

  22. Finn
    Twitter:
    says:

    It’s gone beyond attraction now. I love you. Dump the wife and run away with me. Or you can bring her too…

    Reply

  23. bluepaintred says:

    wow. for the first time ever, family circus made me laugh.

    Good Job!

    Reply

  24. Grant says:

    It’s a major improvement, although I can suggest an even better caption for #4: “I tried to kiss Susie on the playground, but she wouldn’t take off her pants. Naturally I killed and anally raped the bitch in that order. Then the teacher saw and said I crossed some arbitrary ‘line’ and started to spank me so, naturally, I killed and anally raped the bitch in that order.”

    On second thought, it’s too long and kind of hard to believe a kid that age would know a word like “arbitrary”. Stick with yours.

    Reply

  25. Mary says:

    You have officially made my week. #1 is my favorite, for reasons I won’t get into, because then a certain family member would kill me.

    Reply

  26. Karl says:

    Great stuff…I’ve been reading Family Circus since I was a wee tyke. They’re still cute, but I like the edgy version better.

    Reply

  27. Avitable says:

    Britt, I think it might be. Although there would probably be a “dumbass” in there, too.

    Bubblewench, that’s better than morning gas.

    Kapgar, it’s so true, though.

    Nobody, he always looked shifty.

    Karen, there’s a whole group of ones out there that are called that, too.

    TMP, the kids would actually age, too.

    Heather, I bet your kids will sound just like that, too.

    Turnbaby, such a giggler!

    Robin, about time? But I try so hard!

    Em, yeah, my blog didn’t publish it at midnight like it was supposed to.

    Kyra, that’s the most frightening one to me because it seems to close to reality.

    TrishK, well, at the least, they’re better than the originals.

    Jessica, the new ones actually aren’t as horrible – they’re a bit darker.

    Mindy, you were more of a Gasoline Alley fan, weren’t you?

    Golfwidow, it’s a resilient strip.

    MsBatman, thanks!

    RW, there’s no pleasing some people. Some cranky old men people.

    Mr. Fabulous, well, I got the idea from you and your Normal Rockwell captions, which I still plan on stealing.

    BE Earl, is that a quote from something?

    Dave, just wait until my Elizabeth Hurley LOLBrits.

    Hilly, that’s my favorite, too.

    Amanda, and you can beat them up if they won’t give you a good price, too.

    Finn, she’ll come, too.

    BPR, Bil Keane is probably rolling over in his grave. If he’s dead.

    Grant, your line is much better.

    Karl, have you seen the new ones by his son? They are a bit edgier, too.

    Reply

  28. Avitable says:

    Mary, that one was dedicated to one of my relatives, too.

    Reply

  29. Hoosier Girl says:

    This is just wrong. “Family Circus” is an American tradition. You are an American, aren’t you, comrade? :lmao:

    Just kidding. Those were funny. Kind of sick and twisted in its own way, but then…isn’t that what we come here for? :P

    J.

    Reply

  30. Fucking bathroom. That’s hilarious. I just learned from Bossy last night that I’ve been saying (in my head) your name wrong all this time.

    Reply

  31. Penelope says:

    These are all priceless! I’ve never heard of Family Circus, I guess we didn’t ever get it over here, I want more!!

    Reply

  32. Jeff says:

    Uh oh, I hear Bil Keane has a crack lawyer team that hunts down people like you for things like this. The penalty if convicted is horrific. You have to read EVERY Family Circus ever published! I’ll visit you in the funny farm – if you don’t kill yourself first.

    Reply

  33. Sandi says:

    Kissing Daddie’s boy part made me giggle outloud.. :)

    Reply

  34. AmyD says:

    That Xanax one… heeeee lair eee us. :lmao:

    Reply

  35. Crys says:

    i larrfed at the xanax one too, Amy

    Reply

  36. Mindy says:

    Actually I was more of a fan of Calvin and Hobbes… that comic rocked!

    Reply

  37. Maman
    Twitter:
    says:

    Is the foul-mouthed child my eldest darling?

    Reply

  38. MyWeeWorld says:

    That was awesome! I loved the fucking bathroom one too (I think it’s been all women who felt that way, heh).

    Reply

  39. Nice, very nice. I didn’t wrinkle my nose even once – you should give Fabbie lessons!

    Reply

  40. Sybil Law says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Reply

  41. Avitable says:

    HG, just kind of sick and twisted?

    Sarah, you didn’t see the instructional video? http://youtube.com/watch?v=w_AE75lK7oY

    Penelope, you haven’t been missing out. The originals are horrible.

    Jeff, Bil Keane is a vicious old bastard.

    Sandi, that’s what I called a penis until I was 30.

    AmyD, and so true, too!

    Crystal, that’s just because that’s how Lee makes extra money!

    Mindy, yes, it did. I have the complete collection and love it.

    Maman, probably.

    MyWeeWorld, what, men can’t feel that way too?

    Claudia, Fab makes you wrinkle your nose?

    Sybil, you should print them out and put them on your fridge.

    Reply

  42. Sybil Law says:

    Yes! Good idea! I really will.

    Reply

  43. Tug says:

    YOU’VE CHANELLED FAB, and I.LOVE.IT!! :boobs2:

    Reply

  44. Dan says:

    Marvelous stuff. I vote garfield next

    Reply

  45. Winter says:

    Heh. The photo one was classic! Some parent somewhere has had to explain a photo like that before. :clap:

    Reply

  46. Eventually. Yes. Apparently that isn’t so in cartoons.

    Reply

  47. Bec says:

    Oh so THAT’s Family Circus! Glad to see you are showing those of us that missed out on this treat. It’s so modern and up to date. Dare I say ‘hip’ and ‘with it’?

    The Sex Offender one is going up on my desk at work! With your permission, obviously…!

    Reply

  48. Brandon says:

    I think my childhood totally died with this post.

    Reply

  49. Avitable says:

    Sybil, maybe you’re not such a soccer mom after all . . . :D

    Tug, how do you know Fab didn’t channel me?

    Dan, I was thinking about that, actually.

    Winter, that parent is you, isn’t it?

    Laura, snicker!

    Metalmom, grazie.

    TMP, or maybe they’re just horrible malformed midgets.

    Bec, of course you have my permission!

    Brandon, oh, c’mon. It was dead long before that.

    Reply

  50. Lynda says:

    Better than the originals!

    Reply

  51. Tug says:

    I ASSumed because he came first. :fisting:

    Reply

  52. Avitable says:

    Lynda, that’s not hard, though. The originals were horrible!

    Tug, wait, by “channel”, you meant “perform oral sex on”, right?

    Reply

  53. Tug says:

    absolutely – that’s why he came first.

    :cocksuck2:

    Reply

  54. Zom says:

    I wish the bakery would deliver to MY house while I was cleaning cum stains off my shower walls. Lucky fuckers!

    Reply

  55. Thanks Avi. They put a smile on my dial ! :P

    Reply

  56. Trukindog says:

    I wonder if mommy’s got any Percs heh heh.

    I’m with Mindy, do Calvin & Hobbs next.

    Reply

  57. Love it, love it, love it. Sadly, my head is swimming after yelling at my kids all evening like a shrill biotch, that it took a while to understand the DUI one. Sad. Pathetic. My Berkeley education is squandered on this life of screeching, bitching, and whines. Makes me a perfect Mommy blogger, eh? Thanks for the laugh tonight. I needed it.

    Reply

  58. Put this in a time capsule for 50 15 years and see if it doesn’t blend in perfectly with future comics.

    Reply

  59. Gwen says:

    This was the first time I ever actually enjoyed Family Circus. Bravo!

    Reply

  60. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    Per the Family Circus quote…

    Yeah…it’s from a scene with Timothy Olyphant and Katie Holmes in the movie “Go”.

    Reply

  61. if there was ever a need for a reason as to why i love you as much as i do, this is it. fantastic.

    Reply

  62. Meg says:

    I couldn’t wait up till Midnight last night, you big tease, but finally got around to checking out the much-heralded post. Hil-flippin-larious. Recaptioning ees berry funny. I likey!

    Reply

  63. These were hilarious. I’m pretty sure they made me pee my pants. Love the last one.

    Reply

  64. Avitable says:

    Tug, he usually does. No lasting power.

    Zom, I know. I’d order a cake right now.

    Charlie, glad to help.

    Trukindog, I might just have to.

    Scout’s, well, Berkeley is a place of hippies and nutjobs, to be fair.

    Girl, Dislocated, I agree.

    Gwen, good to hear!

    BE Earl, I love that movie – haven’t seen it in a while, though.

    Hello, and your post was a reason to love you!

    Meg, well, you missed it. It wasn’t this post – it was the one before it. With the feet.

    Amanda, pretty sure? Are you sitting in water?

    Reply

  65. Wow, I’m actually impressed. As soon as I read the first one, and saw that there would be more, I immediately braced myself for an onslaught of offensive pictures and scenarios that would make my skin crawl while simultaneously making me laugh inside.

    But you only did the 2nd half.

    Nice job!

    Reply

  66. Avitable says:

    Wayne, I’ll try harder next time.

    Reply

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