America’s Next Top Moob Contest
Learn How to Use Dirty Talk, the Avitable Way
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Find me at:
hahahahahahahahhahahaha
I think I should get some credit for that “would it fucking kill him to wash up after himself” bit. I’m sure that’s a direct quote from me.
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oh the morning giggles…. thanks…
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Twitter: Kapgar
says:
Why is it that I can see you as the youngest kid toting the teddy bear in the first comic? I love the sex offender one.
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HAHAHA. He’s a sex offender! I knew it!
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Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
Ha ha ha ha Dysfunctional Family Circus!
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That sounds exactly what kids would be repeating, if it was set in the real world!
Good job!
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
Love the wet pussy one! And the “fucking bathroom” – genius!
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Awesome! I love this kind of parody–the ‘wet pussy’ thing is making me giggle.
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
:boobs4: This is one of your best yet, it’s about time you amused me.
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I’m not sure how it happened, but it did; I’m hooked on the avitable. There was no post here earlier this morning and it felt wrong. And now that it’s here I can go on with my day. Thank you.
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Additionally, I would like to say that Turnbaby looks like Michelle Pfeiffer in that picture.
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The sex offender one is my favorite :thumbsup:
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OMG, too funny!!
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I HATE Family Circus with a passion! It was one of those cartoons where you’re like, “WHY IS THIS STILL HERE? AND FOR SO LONG??”
But thankfully, it has been updated.
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You are a genius! This was never my favorite growing up… but now I think it is! :lmao:
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Just when I had finally declared, once and for all, that “Family Circus” could never, ever, amuse me.
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Brilliant. Loved this!
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Wow Adam, THIS really sucked.
:poke:
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On the one hand, I am applauding you because these are awesome, and on the other hand I am kicking my ass for not thinking of it first…
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
The Family Circus.
“And it’s always there, in the lower right hand corner, just waiting to suck.” – not anymore. Thanks!
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Twitter: Blogography
says:
Family Circus? Really? Is nothing sacred?
Here’s hoping. :woohoo:
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Hahaha, my favorite is the “would it kill him to wash up after himself” one…classic!
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
The Xanax one is my favorite, I love child drug dealers. They give the best prices.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
It’s gone beyond attraction now. I love you. Dump the wife and run away with me. Or you can bring her too…
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wow. for the first time ever, family circus made me laugh.
Good Job!
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It’s a major improvement, although I can suggest an even better caption for #4: “I tried to kiss Susie on the playground, but she wouldn’t take off her pants. Naturally I killed and anally raped the bitch in that order. Then the teacher saw and said I crossed some arbitrary ‘line’ and started to spank me so, naturally, I killed and anally raped the bitch in that order.”
On second thought, it’s too long and kind of hard to believe a kid that age would know a word like “arbitrary”. Stick with yours.
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You have officially made my week. #1 is my favorite, for reasons I won’t get into, because then a certain family member would kill me.
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Great stuff…I’ve been reading Family Circus since I was a wee tyke. They’re still cute, but I like the edgy version better.
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Britt, I think it might be. Although there would probably be a “dumbass” in there, too.
Bubblewench, that’s better than morning gas.
Kapgar, it’s so true, though.
Nobody, he always looked shifty.
Karen, there’s a whole group of ones out there that are called that, too.
TMP, the kids would actually age, too.
Heather, I bet your kids will sound just like that, too.
Turnbaby, such a giggler!
Robin, about time? But I try so hard!
Em, yeah, my blog didn’t publish it at midnight like it was supposed to.
Kyra, that’s the most frightening one to me because it seems to close to reality.
TrishK, well, at the least, they’re better than the originals.
Jessica, the new ones actually aren’t as horrible – they’re a bit darker.
Mindy, you were more of a Gasoline Alley fan, weren’t you?
Golfwidow, it’s a resilient strip.
MsBatman, thanks!
RW, there’s no pleasing some people. Some cranky old men people.
Mr. Fabulous, well, I got the idea from you and your Normal Rockwell captions, which I still plan on stealing.
BE Earl, is that a quote from something?
Dave, just wait until my Elizabeth Hurley LOLBrits.
Hilly, that’s my favorite, too.
Amanda, and you can beat them up if they won’t give you a good price, too.
Finn, she’ll come, too.
BPR, Bil Keane is probably rolling over in his grave. If he’s dead.
Grant, your line is much better.
Karl, have you seen the new ones by his son? They are a bit edgier, too.
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Mary, that one was dedicated to one of my relatives, too.
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This is just wrong. “Family Circus” is an American tradition. You are an American, aren’t you, comrade? :lmao:
Just kidding. Those were funny. Kind of sick and twisted in its own way, but then…isn’t that what we come here for?
J.
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Fucking bathroom. That’s hilarious. I just learned from Bossy last night that I’ve been saying (in my head) your name wrong all this time.
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These are all priceless! I’ve never heard of Family Circus, I guess we didn’t ever get it over here, I want more!!
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Uh oh, I hear Bil Keane has a crack lawyer team that hunts down people like you for things like this. The penalty if convicted is horrific. You have to read EVERY Family Circus ever published! I’ll visit you in the funny farm – if you don’t kill yourself first.
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Kissing Daddie’s boy part made me giggle outloud..
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That Xanax one… heeeee lair eee us. :lmao:
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i larrfed at the xanax one too, Amy
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Actually I was more of a fan of Calvin and Hobbes… that comic rocked!
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Twitter: mamandesfilles
says:
Is the foul-mouthed child my eldest darling?
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That was awesome! I loved the fucking bathroom one too (I think it’s been all women who felt that way, heh).
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Nice, very nice. I didn’t wrinkle my nose even once – you should give Fabbie lessons!
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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HG, just kind of sick and twisted?
Sarah, you didn’t see the instructional video? http://youtube.com/watch?v=w_AE75lK7oY
Penelope, you haven’t been missing out. The originals are horrible.
Jeff, Bil Keane is a vicious old bastard.
Sandi, that’s what I called a penis until I was 30.
AmyD, and so true, too!
Crystal, that’s just because that’s how Lee makes extra money!
Mindy, yes, it did. I have the complete collection and love it.
Maman, probably.
MyWeeWorld, what, men can’t feel that way too?
Claudia, Fab makes you wrinkle your nose?
Sybil, you should print them out and put them on your fridge.
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Yes! Good idea! I really will.
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YOU’VE CHANELLED FAB, and I.LOVE.IT!! :boobs2:
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Marvelous stuff. I vote garfield next
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Heh. The photo one was classic! Some parent somewhere has had to explain a photo like that before. :clap:
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Twitter: snerkology
says:
Guffaw!
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Bra-vo!!
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Eventually. Yes. Apparently that isn’t so in cartoons.
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Oh so THAT’s Family Circus! Glad to see you are showing those of us that missed out on this treat. It’s so modern and up to date. Dare I say ‘hip’ and ‘with it’?
The Sex Offender one is going up on my desk at work! With your permission, obviously…!
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I think my childhood totally died with this post.
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Sybil, maybe you’re not such a soccer mom after all . . .
Tug, how do you know Fab didn’t channel me?
Dan, I was thinking about that, actually.
Winter, that parent is you, isn’t it?
Laura, snicker!
Metalmom, grazie.
TMP, or maybe they’re just horrible malformed midgets.
Bec, of course you have my permission!
Brandon, oh, c’mon. It was dead long before that.
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Better than the originals!
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I ASSumed because he came first. :fisting:
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Lynda, that’s not hard, though. The originals were horrible!
Tug, wait, by “channel”, you meant “perform oral sex on”, right?
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absolutely – that’s why he came first.
:cocksuck2:
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I wish the bakery would deliver to MY house while I was cleaning cum stains off my shower walls. Lucky fuckers!
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Thanks Avi. They put a smile on my dial !
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I wonder if mommy’s got any Percs heh heh.
I’m with Mindy, do Calvin & Hobbs next.
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Love it, love it, love it. Sadly, my head is swimming after yelling at my kids all evening like a shrill biotch, that it took a while to understand the DUI one. Sad. Pathetic. My Berkeley education is squandered on this life of screeching, bitching, and whines. Makes me a perfect Mommy blogger, eh? Thanks for the laugh tonight. I needed it.
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Put this in a time capsule for
5015 years and see if it doesn’t blend in perfectly with future comics.Reply
This was the first time I ever actually enjoyed Family Circus. Bravo!
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
Per the Family Circus quote…
Yeah…it’s from a scene with Timothy Olyphant and Katie Holmes in the movie “Go”.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
if there was ever a need for a reason as to why i love you as much as i do, this is it. fantastic.
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I couldn’t wait up till Midnight last night, you big tease, but finally got around to checking out the much-heralded post. Hil-flippin-larious. Recaptioning ees berry funny. I likey!
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These were hilarious. I’m pretty sure they made me pee my pants. Love the last one.
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Tug, he usually does. No lasting power.
Zom, I know. I’d order a cake right now.
Charlie, glad to help.
Trukindog, I might just have to.
Scout’s, well, Berkeley is a place of hippies and nutjobs, to be fair.
Girl, Dislocated, I agree.
Gwen, good to hear!
BE Earl, I love that movie – haven’t seen it in a while, though.
Hello, and your post was a reason to love you!
Meg, well, you missed it. It wasn’t this post – it was the one before it. With the feet.
Amanda, pretty sure? Are you sitting in water?
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
Wow, I’m actually impressed. As soon as I read the first one, and saw that there would be more, I immediately braced myself for an onslaught of offensive pictures and scenarios that would make my skin crawl while simultaneously making me laugh inside.
But you only did the 2nd half.
Nice job!
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Wayne, I’ll try harder next time.
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