Is it a secret message? A part of a rat? Chocolate? Poop? A stick?
What the fuck did I find in my deodorant?
Anyone have any ideas?
UPDATE:
Here is the short email I sent to Colgate about this:
Enjoy this post? Try these:I pulled off the plastic tab to my Speed Stick Regular Scent (oops – almost wrote flavor!) Deodorant and start rolling the dial to raise the stick. Then I saw something black and horrible looking in the deodorant! I have taken pictures and uploaded them to my Flickr account here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/avitable/sets/72157604816363175/.
I’d like to know what that is. We’ve tried to guess, and so far the guesses are a compass, a rat tail, an alien probe, an electronic bug, a stick figure, Hershey’s, the bubonic plague, and poop. I don’t think it’s any of these, but I’d like to know what it is, and this scares me a bit from using Speed Stick and Mennen products!
(If it is an alien probe, does it enter through the armpit area? I really don’t want it to be a rectal probe, as you can imagine.)
Frozen
Help me choose my next hairstyle
Twitter: Amanda234
says:
Clearly the government is after you. That is a deodorant tapping device.
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Complimentary underarm hair tweezers. They know you have a problem.
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It’s a bug. You should sweep your house immediately for wiretaps.
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what does a normal speed stick look like? is it the black thingy that is weird?
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It’s an “E” for Excellent Smelling Pits.
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gonna send speed stick this URL?
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alien arm pit probe?
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Dude, it looks like a compass. WTF?
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Avit: Wheewww Iv’e been looking all over for that thing. Thanks for locating it. Funny though, I can’t imagine how my taint scraper got in your speed stick?
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I’m with Tracy. That’s what I thought too.
My second guess is that it’s your ticket to a million dollars when you sue the makers of the deodorant.
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Well, OBVIOUSLY it is a bug penis… that’s what they look like. Don’t you remember from biology class?
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Hahaha! I’m too busy laughing at the subtle humor of the “ir” in front of “regular” on the label! classic :clap:
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When you turn it sideways, it looks like one of your stick figure drawings – with a smaller penis, of course.
What’s weird is how they knew to stick it in your speed stick???
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Ahhhh–you found your penis!
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It’s a sideways Kanji character meaning “white devil with large penis”. I thought everybody knew that
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Oh good, you got it! Whew!
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They are trying to stick it to you.
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
Okay, that is just friggin’ weird.
I always thought you used spray one deodorant.
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It’s a pubic hair of the extra-large Chinese guy working in the factory where it was made.
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That is just an odd one. Nothing – I got nothing.
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Twitter: missbritt
says:
You weren’t talking about the black part – were you?
I thought it was the brown fuzz in the middle that freaked you out.
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Dude, just be grateful it wasn’t in your jell-o. I bet my brother had something to do with this…
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It’s a May Day gift! Happy May Day!!
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Amanda, so my armpits are ratting against me?
Y Not I, it does look like tweezers!
Karl, we’ll have to speak in codes from now on.
Tori, yeah, that big black thing isn’t normally there.
Gwen, that’s what I was thinking, too.
BPR, yup!
Amy, good thing I didn’t use it!
Tracy, that would hurt if I stuck that in my pit.
Jake, isn’t one’s tongue a taint scraper?
BB, well, I’d need some type of injury, first.
DB, that’s a hell of a bug!
Creed, I’m glad somebody noticed that.
Mcat, psychic speed stick?
Turnbaby, it apparently wanted to rub itself all over my pits.
DebbieS, my Japanese skills failed me.
Fab, thanks!
DaDuck, literally.
NYCWD, that shit doesn’t work.
DaisyJo, yet his penis would be so small.
Bubblewench, I’m befuddled, too.
Britt, yeah, the black part! The discoloration in the middle is just part of the deodorant.
M.A.D., your brother’s a fucker!
TrishK, woohoo!
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Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
I asked 3 year old Thomas because I’m pre-coffee and can’t think of anything creative.
Very confidently, he said, “It’s just an up thing.”
Look at me mommyblogging in yer comments…next thing I’ll be farting on your pillow.
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I’m surprised you don’t use an antiperspirant. If I use just deodorant only I pit out my shirts by the end of the day. Of course the pit stains smell pretty.
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looks like a pit scraper to me.
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Twitter: average_jane
says:
Obviously an alien probe!
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I asked my three year old. she said not to worry about it and to eat it anyway. I think she thinks it’s a popcicle.
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I asked the Goon Squad and they don’t know what it is. Now they are demanding that I tell them.
Whoops.
Okay, but really it is probably the thing that pushed up the deoderant.
Too boring?
A very small pagoda?
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Hey, why do I have beard in my avatar?
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Karen, fucking mommyblogger.
Jeff, I absolutely despise that white clumpy shit. And I don’t pit out my shirts at all, luckily.
Gorillabuns, is that like a tongue scraper?
Average Jane, but is it rectal?
Bloggess, does she want me to share some with her?
Goon Squad, a small pagoda – very nice! And you have to go to Gravatar.com and get a free account to have your avatar show up here.
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I showed my kids and now they want one. It it a toy like in a Happy Meal.
Great. Thanks. Now they want me to buy them a Speed Stick for dinner so they can collect them all.
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I think it looks like a protractor, but the mommyblogger in me thinks it looks like one of those frigging little Power Ranger weapons I step on all day long.
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
It’s a Superhero costume for a tapeworm.
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You use deodorant?
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Alien antenna. Communications commence soon.
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Kelley, they can share mine!
Catnip, the pink power ranger was hot.
Wayne, aha! I think we have a winner!
Metalmom, you don’t know me at all, do you? I buy 3-4 of them every time I’m at the grocery and I refuse to step outside unless I’ve showered and am clean and nice smelling. You fail Avitable 101.
Suebob, well, as long as I don’t have to do anything, I’m okay with that.
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hmmm…. that’s not good. It does look like a protractor. Maybe they had a field trip from some geeky school and one the kids fell in and oops his protractor ended up in your deodorant? I got nuthin’
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It’s the insertion spring for your tracking device. Someone wants to keep tabs on you!
(I am not a mommy blogger but Karen is sending folks your way)
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it looks like the top part of one of those “jumping jacks” corkscrews without the head. Fuckin’ drunkass, deodorant makers!
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It’s a freebie. One of those thingies to clean your teeth. Both sides at once. When you get down to it, try it!
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Go ahead and treat it like an anal probe. I’m sure the deodorant will act like lube.
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I’m here because Karen told me to and I’d do anything she said. I think I agree with Sarah, Goon Squad for my boring answer, and since it is way too early in the morning for me to be creative, I’ll stick with that. Although my son said “hey! I have been looking for that!” when I showed the picture to him. Will you be putting it on ebay?
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it’s probably something from the machinery that shoots the deodorant in liquid form into your plastic casing. Whatever it is, it looks dangerous, and it shouldn’t be there!!
Good luck with that lawsuit
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
It’s a tracking device and as you use it more the device will be inserted into your armpit.
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I know what it is.
When the plastic parts of either the deodorant container or other small parts are made, they are made on a machine called a plastics injection mold machine.
Remember how when you made model airplanes or cars from a kit?
And you had to break off each piece from the plastic stems holding each piece?
Well, that’s what this is. It’s a guess. But I used to run a plastics mold injection machine so it’s familiar looking to me.
I’m curious to find out if I’m correct.
Thanks.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
It’s prize! Some sort of martial arts weapon, like a throwing star.
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It’s called a meal ticket.
Here’s how you cash it in: Pretend you didn’t know it’s in there, and then make sure you create a huge bloody scrape in your arm pit when the piece first begins to poke through. Make sure it gets good and infected to the point of near death, take lots of pictures and consult a lawyer.
Oh yeah, and delete this blog entry too.
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Mindy, so like Spider-man except without the radioactive spider and I’m the one who gets hurt?
Asthmagirl, damn tracking devices.
Zom, they were drunk on Colgate mouthwash, I’m sure.
Cartoongoddess, I bet it will taste minty fresh, too.
Grant, it does.
Tori, Karen also suggested that you send me naked pictures of yourself.
Cissa, so I should hurt myself first with it, then sue?
Robin, but who will be tracking me?
Mattie, yeah, that’s what I figured, but it could be an alien penis, too. I’ll let you know if Colgate replies to me.
Finn, ooh, good thinking!
Jeff, done, and done!
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As per KarenSugarpants I asked my 4 year old.
“It is a train coupler MOM.”
For all those times in the morning you need to couple Thomas and Percy and have NOTHING to do it with.
I hate Thomas, so I really hope it’s a “meal ticket” you know for your sake. And then that there is one somewhere in my Hubby’s deodorant, so I can cash in and get the hell out of this train hell.
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As Mattie said it is flashing from a moulding process. Here is an email for one of the lead engineers at colgate. Bug him about it… dan_sabanosh@colpal.com
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I think a ninja played a trick on you.
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
I think Mattie is right. I worked in plastics too and that’s what it looks like.
But, I hope it’s something really gross and you get to go on all the cable news channels and talk about it and write a book and all that stuff.
Some people find Jesus or Mary on their grilled cheese, or on sheet metal or whatever. You find anal probes. Way to be different there dude!
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Since it seems to be the thing to do I asked my kid what it was. She says it’s “upstairs in your room!” She’s two, ignore her.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
I’ve been staring at it for a while now, and I can honestly say I have no clue. I’m also feeling a bit litigious this week, so maybe you should wear it down – on anything but your armpit. See if it is sharp (hope, hope, hope) and then retire on winnings from the lawsuit. Go get ‘em!
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Hi! Stopped by here from Karen Sugarpants.
I think that is an IUD. Clearly, you have in your possession the “mother” deodorant, from which all baby speed sticks are gestated. Looks like she escaped the factory when she found out her breeding time was over. I suggest getting her a guest spot on Oprah so she can reveal the sordid details.
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i’m pretty sure that’s that stick bug from A Bug’s Life….you know that really irritating one with David Hyde Pierce’s voice?
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Well, in following Karen’s instructions I asked my 3 year old. He said it was a cup. When I told him NO the black thing inside he said it’s a straw.
Right now he’s looking at all the highly inappopriate “smilies” asking what they are. I’m pretending I can’t hear him, because I’m not ready to explain these:
:2girls: :cocksuck2: :sex011: :jerkoff2: :boobs3:
That’s a conversation for his father to handle.
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I don’t like Speed Stick. It’s stinky.
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I think it is a tiny trident from a tiny demon. And don’t you think it’s about time they found you?
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Lurch called and he needs his head screw back.
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
Um, yeah. No clue. My mom once ate a fried blackberry pie and got a branch, with thorns, from the plant the blackberries came from, stuck in her mouth. It was impressive.
Too bad you didn’t find a finger or something. That would have been cool.
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My first thought was an IUD.
My 4-year-old says it is either an airplane or a sprayer. The 2-year-old refuses to even look at the picture.
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My son says it’s the bones to Ariel’s (you know that Disney Mermaid)tail. What can I say, he’s got an active imagination.
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Faith, “couple Thomas and Percy”? Are these two gay Englishmen?
Greg T, I already submitted something through their website. Thanks, though!
TMP, sneaky ninjas!
Jay, I try to be different, and sometimes the weirdness just finds me.
Jen, how did she know? It was upstairs in my room!
BE, why not on the armpit?
Anne, but can I have sex with it?
Ali, now he’s preserved in deodorant until he can be cloned millions of years later?
Sleeping, dads should always be the ones to explain banana fucking smilies.
Poppy, I get the regular scent because it’s not.
Candy, those damn Liliputian devils!
Bossy, nnnnnnggggghhhhhh.
Heather, that would have been cool – I would have ridden that finger to financial security!
Violet, I hope your two-year old isn’t always terrified by deodorant.
Mrs. Schmitty, active, and morbid!
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I wondered what had happened to my meat thermometer!
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Ummm….I don’t know what that is. Very strange.
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Nat, oops. I’ve already used it rectally.
Dana, would you like to taste it and see if you can figure it out?
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I think it’s an alien probe or an anal probe. Or a combination of both. So many options..
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I’m betting anal probe, and that Mennen was hoping you’d use this on your stank ass. All kidding aside, that thing is just scary.
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I know! I know! Teacher please pick me! MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
It is the magic wand of the Congon(?) Black Magic Sorcerers!! They are after your PENIS!!!
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Twitter: maria0305
says:
Looks like licorice.
Deodorant flavored licorice.
Yum.
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OMG. Your deodorant won one of those automobile makers awards with the forceps-looking thing on top! Congrats!
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My mom found a dead mouse in a can of green beans once. She tried to sue but the company had some pretty damned good lawyers or something because they spun her in circles until she gave up.
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Is it an IUD???
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It’s a hillbilly tooth pick…so they can clean both teeth at once, now you know who works at Colegate.
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Since everyone else asked their kid what that was, I showed it to my almost 19 yr old.
“What’s that?” I asked her.
She gave me a disgusted look. “That’s fucked up,” she replied and left the room.
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Mini-forceps to pull tiny implanted alien armpitbabies out of your body?
A tiny compass to draw perfect circles in your pits?
Lick it down and find out.
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I hope you signed the email with “J.D.” after your name!
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Sassy, why do probes always have to be anal?
Bombshell, do you deodorize your stank ass?
Phoenix, ooh, that is a good guess! Gold star!
Maria, want to lick it?
Steph, hahahahahah!
Kyra, glad you’re back.
Bobgirrl, I’ll fuck it and see if it gets pregnant.
Trukindog, if truckers get to insult hillbillies, who do hillbillies get to insult?
Winter, does that mean she wants to show me her boobs?
Stephanie, oh noes! Armpitbabies!
Girl, Dislocated, damn! I should have.
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Twitter: Kapgar
says:
I’m dying to read how they respond.
Oh, and my guess is a form of barbed wire or some kind of BDSM gadget.
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Whatever it is, it looks EVIL.
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Have you found out yet what exactly it is?
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Looks like something from the factory floor. something that breaks off of something else… ever build a model plane/car/whatever? looks like some plain ole plastic trash. unfortunaltly for you though i doubt you will collect a penny. they might give you a coupon for a fresh stick if they even answer you…. good luck though!
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