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Secret message?

Is it a secret message? A part of a rat? Chocolate? Poop? A stick?

What the fuck did I find in my deodorant?



Anyone have any ideas?


Here is the short email I sent to Colgate about this:

I pulled off the plastic tab to my Speed Stick Regular Scent (oops – almost wrote flavor!) Deodorant and start rolling the dial to raise the stick. Then I saw something black and horrible looking in the deodorant! I have taken pictures and uploaded them to my Flickr account here:

I’d like to know what that is. We’ve tried to guess, and so far the guesses are a compass, a rat tail, an alien probe, an electronic bug, a stick figure, Hershey’s, the bubonic plague, and poop. I don’t think it’s any of these, but I’d like to know what it is, and this scares me a bit from using Speed Stick and Mennen products!

(If it is an alien probe, does it enter through the armpit area? I really don’t want it to be a rectal probe, as you can imagine.)

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85 Replies to “Secret message?”

  1. mcat

    When you turn it sideways, it looks like one of your stick figure drawings – with a smaller penis, of course.

    What’s weird is how they knew to stick it in your speed stick???

  2. Avitable

    Amanda, so my armpits are ratting against me?

    Y Not I, it does look like tweezers!

    Karl, we’ll have to speak in codes from now on.

    Tori, yeah, that big black thing isn’t normally there.

    Gwen, that’s what I was thinking, too.

    BPR, yup!

    Amy, good thing I didn’t use it!

    Tracy, that would hurt if I stuck that in my pit.

    Jake, isn’t one’s tongue a taint scraper?

    BB, well, I’d need some type of injury, first.

    DB, that’s a hell of a bug!

    Creed, I’m glad somebody noticed that.

    Mcat, psychic speed stick?

    Turnbaby, it apparently wanted to rub itself all over my pits.

    DebbieS, my Japanese skills failed me.

    Fab, thanks!

    DaDuck, literally.

    NYCWD, that shit doesn’t work.

    DaisyJo, yet his penis would be so small.

    Bubblewench, I’m befuddled, too.

    Britt, yeah, the black part! The discoloration in the middle is just part of the deodorant.

    M.A.D., your brother’s a fucker!

    TrishK, woohoo!

  3. Karen Sugarpants

    I asked 3 year old Thomas because I’m pre-coffee and can’t think of anything creative.
    Very confidently, he said, “It’s just an up thing.”
    Look at me mommyblogging in yer comments…next thing I’ll be farting on your pillow.

  4. Avitable

    Karen, fucking mommyblogger.

    Jeff, I absolutely despise that white clumpy shit. And I don’t pit out my shirts at all, luckily.

    Gorillabuns, is that like a tongue scraper?

    Average Jane, but is it rectal?

    Bloggess, does she want me to share some with her?

    Goon Squad, a small pagoda – very nice! And you have to go to and get a free account to have your avatar show up here.

  5. Avitable

    Kelley, they can share mine!

    Catnip, the pink power ranger was hot.

    Wayne, aha! I think we have a winner!

    Metalmom, you don’t know me at all, do you? I buy 3-4 of them every time I’m at the grocery and I refuse to step outside unless I’ve showered and am clean and nice smelling. You fail Avitable 101.

    Suebob, well, as long as I don’t have to do anything, I’m okay with that.

  6. Mindy

    hmmm…. that’s not good. It does look like a protractor. Maybe they had a field trip from some geeky school and one the kids fell in and oops his protractor ended up in your deodorant? I got nuthin’

  7. tori

    I’m here because Karen told me to and I’d do anything she said. I think I agree with Sarah, Goon Squad for my boring answer, and since it is way too early in the morning for me to be creative, I’ll stick with that. Although my son said “hey! I have been looking for that!” when I showed the picture to him. Will you be putting it on ebay?

  8. Mattie

    I know what it is.

    When the plastic parts of either the deodorant container or other small parts are made, they are made on a machine called a plastics injection mold machine.

    Remember how when you made model airplanes or cars from a kit?

    And you had to break off each piece from the plastic stems holding each piece?

    Well, that’s what this is. It’s a guess. But I used to run a plastics mold injection machine so it’s familiar looking to me.

    I’m curious to find out if I’m correct.


  9. Jeff

    It’s called a meal ticket.

    Here’s how you cash it in: Pretend you didn’t know it’s in there, and then make sure you create a huge bloody scrape in your arm pit when the piece first begins to poke through. Make sure it gets good and infected to the point of near death, take lots of pictures and consult a lawyer.

    Oh yeah, and delete this blog entry too.

  10. Avitable

    Mindy, so like Spider-man except without the radioactive spider and I’m the one who gets hurt?

    Asthmagirl, damn tracking devices.

    Zom, they were drunk on Colgate mouthwash, I’m sure.

    Cartoongoddess, I bet it will taste minty fresh, too.

    Grant, it does.

    Tori, Karen also suggested that you send me naked pictures of yourself.

    Cissa, so I should hurt myself first with it, then sue?

    Robin, but who will be tracking me?

    Mattie, yeah, that’s what I figured, but it could be an alien penis, too. I’ll let you know if Colgate replies to me.

    Finn, ooh, good thinking!

    Jeff, done, and done!

  11. Faith

    As per KarenSugarpants I asked my 4 year old.

    “It is a train coupler MOM.”

    For all those times in the morning you need to couple Thomas and Percy and have NOTHING to do it with.

    I hate Thomas, so I really hope it’s a “meal ticket” you know for your sake. And then that there is one somewhere in my Hubby’s deodorant, so I can cash in and get the hell out of this train hell.

  12. Jay

    I think Mattie is right. I worked in plastics too and that’s what it looks like.

    But, I hope it’s something really gross and you get to go on all the cable news channels and talk about it and write a book and all that stuff.

    Some people find Jesus or Mary on their grilled cheese, or on sheet metal or whatever. You find anal probes. Way to be different there dude!

  13. B.E. Earl

    I’ve been staring at it for a while now, and I can honestly say I have no clue. I’m also feeling a bit litigious this week, so maybe you should wear it down – on anything but your armpit. See if it is sharp (hope, hope, hope) and then retire on winnings from the lawsuit. Go get ’em!

  14. anne nahm

    Hi! Stopped by here from Karen Sugarpants.

    I think that is an IUD. Clearly, you have in your possession the “mother” deodorant, from which all baby speed sticks are gestated. Looks like she escaped the factory when she found out her breeding time was over. I suggest getting her a guest spot on Oprah so she can reveal the sordid details.

  15. Sleeping Mommy

    Well, in following Karen’s instructions I asked my 3 year old. He said it was a cup. When I told him NO the black thing inside he said it’s a straw.

    Right now he’s looking at all the highly inappopriate “smilies” asking what they are. I’m pretending I can’t hear him, because I’m not ready to explain these:
    :2girls: :cocksuck2: :sex011: :jerkoff2: :boobs3:

    That’s a conversation for his father to handle.

  16. Avitable

    Faith, “couple Thomas and Percy”? Are these two gay Englishmen?

    Greg T, I already submitted something through their website. Thanks, though!

    TMP, sneaky ninjas!

    Jay, I try to be different, and sometimes the weirdness just finds me.

    Jen, how did she know? It was upstairs in my room!

    BE, why not on the armpit?

    Anne, but can I have sex with it?

    Ali, now he’s preserved in deodorant until he can be cloned millions of years later?

    Sleeping, dads should always be the ones to explain banana fucking smilies.

    Poppy, I get the regular scent because it’s not.

    Candy, those damn Liliputian devils!

    Bossy, nnnnnnggggghhhhhh.

    Heather, that would have been cool – I would have ridden that finger to financial security!

    Violet, I hope your two-year old isn’t always terrified by deodorant.

    Mrs. Schmitty, active, and morbid!

  17. Winter

    Since everyone else asked their kid what that was, I showed it to my almost 19 yr old.

    “What’s that?” I asked her.

    She gave me a disgusted look. “That’s fucked up,” she replied and left the room.

  18. Avitable

    Sassy, why do probes always have to be anal?

    Bombshell, do you deodorize your stank ass?

    Phoenix, ooh, that is a good guess! Gold star!

    Maria, want to lick it?

    Steph, hahahahahah!

    Kyra, glad you’re back.

    Bobgirrl, I’ll fuck it and see if it gets pregnant.

    Trukindog, if truckers get to insult hillbillies, who do hillbillies get to insult?

    Winter, does that mean she wants to show me her boobs?

    Stephanie, oh noes! Armpitbabies!

    Girl, Dislocated, damn! I should have.

  19. ZED

    Looks like something from the factory floor. something that breaks off of something else… ever build a model plane/car/whatever? looks like some plain ole plastic trash. unfortunaltly for you though i doubt you will collect a penny. they might give you a coupon for a fresh stick if they even answer you…. good luck though!

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