After a hiatus last week, we're back, and the questions are as tough as ever!

You can find last week's answers, scores and contest winner in an extended entry, but now it's time for today's Lazy Sunday contest! This week's prize is a six-pack of Avitable condoms and a "Viva El Avitable" T-shirt in whatever style, color, and size you want!

Everyone has a chance at winning, so don't be shy! The questions may be hard, but everyone who's between the ages of 16 and 80 should be able to get at least one correct – I promise.

The rules:

It's very simple. Every answer contains a reference to a movie, a television show, or a song. Just guess as many as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera. You're on the honor system – try not to Google or look at other people's answers!

The contest ends Tuesday at midnight EST. I'll give the correct answers and the winner on the following Sunday.

Ready? Here we go!

1. Do you know anyone in prison at the present moment?
Yeah, an accountant. Don't reckon he'll be in for long, though.

2. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
I don't remember, but last night I had a chef salad with the oil and the vinegar on the side and apple pie heated with ice cream on the side but only if it's strawberry and if not then whipped cream but only if it's not out of a can.

3. Do you have a desk in your room?
No, there's no room, what with the fireman's pole to get from my bedroom to the kitchen.

4. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
I don't think so. I did have to sing "These Eyes" to a bunch of cokeheads once, though.

5. What are you listening to right at this second?
"Johnny B. Goode". It's an oldie where I come from.

6. Are you named after one of your parents or grandparents?
No, we're both named Johnson. No relation.

7. Do you throw up gang signs?
Only ones that fuck up the scenery.

8. Who slept with you last night?
I slept with my friend's mom to get back at him for sleeping with mine.

9. Have you ever been to a farm?
Only the one where that pig was walking around and talking like a person. Pretty ominous.

10. Who is the most spoiled person you know?
My friend has people who wash his penis for him.

11. Would you ever work for the border patrol?
Only if I could keep pesky Americans like Rudy out.

12. Was one of your family members ever abusive?
My dad was, until my meat delivery boyfriend and I killed the bastard.

13. Have you ever had a eating disorder?
Is swelling up and turning blue a disorder?

14. Do you have a bicycle?
I did, but I got knocked the fuck out and someone stole it.

15. Do you think your childhood dreams came true?
Well, there was that one childhood dream of writing and directing a summer camp musical about Thanksgiving.

And here are the answers and winners from last week's contest :

First, see how you did by viewing this Google spreadsheet:

Next, here are the questions and answers:

1. What's the full name on your birth certificate?
Well, my middle name is Danger.
Austin Powers

2. When was the last time you were told you were beautiful?
1912, when I was young, by Jack. He's dead now.
Titanic

3. Suppose you see your boy/girlfriend kissing another person; what would you do?
Scratch up his/her car, deflate the tires, break the headlights, and cut up the seats.
Before He Cheats, by Carrie Underwood (or Avitable)

4. What is bothering you right now?
Well, this electronic traffic sign on the side of the interstate keeps talking to me.
LA Story

5. Who was the last person to play with your hair?
Nobody. I've been bald since that stupid meteor shower.
Smallville

6. I'll bet you miss someone right now?
Not really. My mom dropped me on my head when I was a kid, and my brothers were assholes.
Goonies

7. What is your favorite color?
Puce. I love it in lollipop form.
Santa Claus the Movie

8. When was the last time you got a back massage?
I got one from this beautiful Asian girl. She was good – I fell right asleep. Of course, I also think she might have messed with stuff from my locker when I was sleeping.
Charlie's Angels

9. If you were given $100, would you spend it or save it?
I'd go down to a pawnshop and have a rat gnaw a mole off of my face.
Uncle Buck

10. What are you doing this weekend?
I have to work at my job as a concierge, at least until my plans for my own hotel are complete.
For Love or Money

11. Last place you went out to eat?
Monk's.
Seinfeld

12. Where are you right now?
At my new house in Cypress Creek. My boss just threw his shoes out the door and said goodbye to them.
The Simpsons

13. Do you have any enemies?
Just another me from another dimension who keeps killing all of his doppelgangers.
The One

14. What are you doing?
My dog and I are moving in with my son. He's a shrink, but I don't think he's wound too tight. Tighter than my other son, though.
Frasier

15. How's the weather today?
IT'S GONNA RAIN!
Family Guy

Here's how I chose the winner:

First, I entered everyone's answers into a spreadsheet, giving 1 point for each correct answer and 0 points for each wrong answer. The total number of points equaled the person's "raffle tickets" for the drawing.

Then I created a randomized list using Random.org of every "raffle ticket" – basically each person's name was repeated as many times as they had right answers. This gave me a random list of 190 entries.

Finally, using Random.org again, I asked it to generate a random integer between 1 and 190. It chose #55.

#55 is my winner.

(drumroll please)

Congratulations to Kylah!

You win a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate! Email me to confirm your win and give me your name and address. The rest of you, thank you for playing, and try your luck with today's contest!

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