Lazy Sunday XL

And here we are, with the 40th Edition of Lazy Sunday!

You can find last week's answers, scores and contest winner in an extended entry, but now it's time for today's Lazy Sunday contest! This week's prize is a 6-pack sampler of gourmet popcorn from Dale & Thomas Popcorn!

Everyone has a chance at winning, so don't be shy! The questions may be hard, but everyone who's between the ages of 16 and 80 should be able to get at least one correct – I promise.

The rules:

It's very simple. Every answer contains a reference to a movie, a television show, or a song. Just guess as many as you can – some will be laughably easy and some will be very difficult. Every correct answer is like a raffle ticket – you get one chance to win per correct answer. If you get 1 right, your name goes in the proverbial hat. If you get 10 right, your name goes in ten times. Et cetera. You're on the honor system – try not to Google or look at other people's answers!

The contest ends Tuesday at midnight EST. I'll give the correct answers and the winner on the following Sunday.

Ready? Here we go!


1. My roommate and I once:
Well, to be fair, it was roommates, and they helped me get together with a girl, even though they were a bit gross.

2. Never in my life have I:
Before last week, I'd never gotten conjunctivitis from a pillow.

3. High school was:
Cool until a lot of my friends died when that bus crashed into the ocean.

4. When I am nervous I:
I smell my armpits like this.

5. My hair is:
Well, I like my hair, even though I know cornrows don't look that good on hot white women.

6. When I was 5:
When I was 5, I loved to play with my friend Chuck. This was before I killed her dad, of course.

7. By this time next year:
I will have found out who killed that girl, wrapped her in plastic, and left her by the water.

8. I have a hard time understanding:
I still don't understand how your traffic laws work. Yellow means go real fast?

9. You know I like you if:
I like you if I cho-cho-choose you.

10. My ideal breakfast is:
Mr. Breakfast!

11. If you visit my hometown:
If you're from Cleveland, you'll feel right at home.

12. If you spend the night at my house:
You might get locked in, and watch out for those moving glass walls!

13. I shouldn’t:
I shouldn't have opened the box.

14. Last night I:
Charged people to see my friend's underwear.

15. If I could have any car it would be:
A magical red car that I can turn into.


And here are the answers and winners from last week's contest :

First, see how you did by viewing this Google spreadsheet:

Next, here are the questions and answers:

1. Do you know anyone in prison at the present moment?
Yeah, an accountant. Don't reckon he'll be in for long, though.
Shawshank Redemption

2. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
I don't remember, but last night I had a chef salad with the oil and the vinegar on the side and apple pie heated with ice cream on the side but only if it's strawberry and if not then whipped cream but only if it's not out of a can.
When Harry Met Sally

3. Do you have a desk in your room?
No, there's no room, what with the fireman's pole to get from my bedroom to the kitchen.
Pee Wee's Big Adventure

4. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
I don't think so. I did have to sing "These Eyes" to a bunch of cokeheads once, though.
Superbad

5. What are you listening to right at this second?
"Johnny B. Goode". It's an oldie where I come from.
Back to the Future

6. Are you named after one of your parents or grandparents?
No, we're both named Johnson. No relation.
Die Hard

7. Do you throw up gang signs?
Only ones that fuck up the scenery.
"Signs", by Tesla

8. Who slept with you last night?
I slept with my friend's mom to get back at him for sleeping with mine.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

9. Have you ever been to a farm?
Only the one where that pig was walking around and talking like a person. Pretty ominous.
Animal Farm

10. Who is the most spoiled person you know?
My friend has people who wash his penis for him.
Coming to America

11. Would you ever work for the border patrol?
Only if I could keep pesky Americans like Rudy out.
Born in East LA

12. Was one of your family members ever abusive?
My dad was, until my meat delivery boyfriend and I killed the bastard.
Natural Born Killers

13. Have you ever had a eating disorder?
Is swelling up and turning blue a disorder?
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

14. Do you have a bicycle?
I did, but I got knocked the fuck out and someone stole it.
Friday

15. Do you think your childhood dreams came true?
Well, there was that one childhood dream of writing and directing a summer camp musical about Thanksgiving.
Addams Family Values

Here's how I chose the winner:

First, I entered everyone's answers into a spreadsheet, giving 1 point for each correct answer and 0 points for each wrong answer. The total number of points equaled the person's "raffle tickets" for the drawing.

Then I created a randomized list using Random.org of every "raffle ticket" – basically each person's name was repeated as many times as they had right answers. This gave me a random list of 161 entries.

Finally, using Random.org again, I asked it to generate a random integer between 1 and 161. It chose #129.

#129 is my winner.

(drumroll please)

Congratulations to Catherine!

You win a six-pack of Avitable condoms and a "Viva El Avitable" T-shirt in whatever style, color, and size you want! Email me to confirm your win and give me your shirt size and preferred style and color. The rest of you, thank you for playing, and try your luck with today's contest!

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