There's this internet phenom called sfwporn. Basically, it's hardcore porn that is horribly and amateurishly drawn over in MS Paint to make it more innocuous, or Safe For Work. After seeing this for the first time yesterday, I was inspired to create my own. Behold:
Free Weights:
(Here is the NSFW original)
I Scream for Ice Cream:
(Here is the NSFW original)
Will You Marry Me?
(Here is the NSFW original)
At The Old Ball Game:
(Here is the NSFW original)
Cheering!
(Here is the NSFW original)
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I'm not clicking on any of the originals... so I'm assuming you did great. Good job!
Comments by Amanda
You are a very, very good artist.
Comments by Suebob
Soooo... porn?
Britt, cover your eyes.
I'm not clicking on those links. I don't want to get all horned out over other people's sexy bits before I have "Dawg and Poppy fantasy time".
... well, ok, maybe one.
Comments by Poppy
I don't know. I have been drinking. Hello.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
this was hilarious. you cannot tell, but I am making my "I am highly amused" face.
and thats a good thing. a VERY good thing
Comments by bluepaintred
Very creative.
Comments by Jay
The beauty of the marriage proposal took my breath away. She was surprised at the size of the rock, wasn't she!!!
Comments by Deb on the Rocks
That's art, baby.
Comments by Karl
I don't think that gal eating ice cream has brushed her tongue ever.
Blech!
Comments by nancycle
I like the originals.
They're more Graphically .... "beat my dickable".
But the ice cream one ..... made me gay for Ben and/or Jerry.
mmmmmmm sprinkles!!!!
Comments by Zom
Someone is really good with MS Paint.
Comments by martymankins
Very creative, I clicked the links does that make me bad?
Comments by Mik
I'm pretty sure that I'm a little in love with that ice cream cone one.
And I'm really sure that disturbs me ;).
Comments by Hilly
I never used to think women were that into sports, but it's hard to fake the enthusiasm on the faces of those last two.
Comments by Iron Fist
That first girl looks like Natalie Imbruglia. I had to click on the originals. I like porn. Nice job on the paintover.
Comments by Winter
fabulous job! haha.
Comments by Shamelessly Sassy
Your MS Paint skills have improved dramatically.
I especially like the baseball one. I'm all for the hot dog.
Comments by NYCWD
I wonder how many people you will frustrate by it being Friday, at work, and truly unable to click the links for fear of what would be logged on the proxy servers.
And for some reason I first thought you said swfporn, not sfwporn, so immediately I thought it was flash-based (ShockWave Flash) and it was going to be interactively nastified.
I will not disclose whether or not I was disappointed when I found out it was not swfporn.
Comments by whall
The next to the last one looks like she's trying to smile with a dick in her mouth. Now THAT'S a professional!
Comments by Been there Done that
Definite good work on the ice cream cone...
Comments by Nat
Ok. I nearly snorted my coffee all over my computer!
wheeee laughing here.
I did HAVE to click one..the baseball one.
Whew. Ok.
Comments by Sandi
"Oh, wow, you have a really big ... engagement ring."
Comments by golfwidow
How did you get that picture of hubby and me on the couch?
Comments by Trishk
That's awesome dude! I did click all the links, I like porn.
Comments by Nobody™
@Poppy...lol..."horned out" is my favorite new phrase, and I will be using it sporadically throughout the entire holiday weekend.
Comments by Stephanie
Finally, porn I can enjoy while my children are in the room!
Comments by Jen
I had to click on all the originals just to see how well you did;) You did a great job!
Comments by Mindy
Excellent work.
You should take a crack at cleaning up Two Girls One Cup next.
Comments by y not i
Apparently there's something wrong with her ice cream...
Comments by Finn
Now that's hot
Comments by Robin
Clearly you have found your calling!!!
Comments by themuttprincess
i am so sending a bunch of people here today. this was fun.
Comments by hello haha narf
Funny, funny stuff!! I like my porn hot and that is the hottest!!!
Comments by Donnie
In the 4th, the dick in her mouth wasn't even hard. That boggles me when I see that in porn. How detached do you have to be to be soft in a threesome with a decently hot chick?
I think I'd cry if he had to jack a bit to stay rock if I was in that position.
Oh, yeah, good covers! :p
Edit: And the guy standing up? You forgot to pants his right leg. Yes. I studied that threesome shot *that* hard. I'm a horny toad.
Comments by Maria
Wow! I'd never guess it wasn't real.
Comments by Dragon
[duplicate]
Comments by Maria
LMAO @ Marie's comments!
Nice job
Comments by Turnbaby
At least you gave us the links to the originals anything less would have been shameful.
I wonder though how many people at work still click on the original links?
Comments by Trukindog
I love the ring one. Love it!
Comments by Ok, Where Was I?
Dude! You ruined the porn! Why would you ruin the porn? Never ruin the...oh...wait a minute...NSFW links.
Niiiiiice!!!!!
Comments by B.E. Earl
Yeah but how amateur are those porno guys? They keep putting their penises in the wrong holes! Boy, do they have a lot to learn.
Comments by Jeff
God, that old ball game drawing almost made me piss myself!
Comments by ajooja
Amanda, you've already had your porn allotment for today?
Suebob, like fucking da Vinci!
Poppy, the links are superfluous - you're supposed to laugh at the painted porn!
Mr. Fabulous, what type of comment is that?
BPR, is that anything like your O face?
Jay, you're erect, aren't you?
Deb, that and the jizzplosion immediately preceding it.
Karl, I know it when I see it!
Nancycle, I think she's been putting it to good use.
Zom, "beat my dickable" is a good phrase.
Martymankins, I cheated and used Photoshop
Mik, no, just horny.
Hilly, rawr.
Iron Fist, it's so fun to cheer!
Winter, you think?
Shamelessly Sassy, thanks! If you want to send me naked pictures of yourself, I can do the same to you.
NYCWD, me too - just had one at the movie theater.
Wayne, interactively nastified, eh?
Been There, she's clearly a star.
Nat, I liked that one the best.
Sandi, glad you liked it!
Golfwidow, I think her look is one of disappointment.
TrishK, what about the third guy? Is that me?
Nobody, porn makes the world go 'round.
Stephanie, holiday?
Jen, exactly! I think of the parents when I do these things.
Mindy, are you totally turned on now?
Y not I, if only I had Adobe AfterEffects.
Finn, I don't know - she seems to like it. In fact, I think she wants it all over her face and chest.
Robin, you're talking about the engagement ring, right?
Hello, it's good for a Friday.
Donnie, and paintingest.
Maria, you ARE a horny toad!
Dragon, flawless, isn't it?
Turnbaby, want me to do you next?
Trukindog, well, I'm at work, and I did it when I was working!
Ok Where Was I, a diamond fan, eh?
BE Earl, I don't know - given the quality of that porn, I think I made it better.
Jeff, silly guys - what were they thinking?
Ajooja, awesome! I love if I can help with involuntary urination!
Comments by Avitable
I looove your original art!! Seriously - that takes talent and imagination!
Hahahahahahahahahaahahahaha
Now I have to go click on the originals. I hope there's some jizz shots!
Comments by Sybil Law
Ewwwwwwwwwwww! No shit! Half those guys only have semi hard ons! Ick!
Your art much improved the originals.
Comments by Sybil Law
Comments by themuttprincess
I'm sorry. I was going to comment. I really was.
But then I accidentally read Poppy's comment. And now I have to go.
Comments by Miss Britt
I knew you'd read it anyway. I'm enticing! Sorry!
Comments by Poppy
Sybil, you and your jizz.
TMP, what's that for?
Britt, I know!
Poppy, is enticing the word for it?
Comments by Avitable
Fap...fap...fap...
Comments by Grant
Um...
what?
The sarcasm level of your words is unclear.
Comments by Poppy
WOOOPRA!
Ok, that was fun. Brings me back to being a teenager again...
Comments by Poppy
I do not have jizz.
I seem to remember being promised some jizz, but never getting any jizz. I got jizz jipped. Or gyped. Shit.
Whatever. My kid is gone and I am starting the party early tonight! Seriously - I am drinking tomorrow night with 2 alcoholics, so I have to build a tolerance tonight. Wish me luck!
Comments by Sybil Law
Holy crap, the possibilities are endless, I love it!
Comments by yoshi
The baseball one is superb, well done!
I was going to give it 2 Thumbs Up, but having looked at the originals, I think I'll go wash my hands and just keep my thumbs to myself for a while.
Comments by Hoatzin
I love this concept. I have tried to make my own pics, but once I open the porn, I can't stop masturbating.
I'm all chafed now.
Comments by Killer
I clicked over because of comment luv and the title of your post, but those "doctored images"? LOVE IT.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to clean off the Iced Tea I spit all over my computer screen.
Thanks for the laugh!
S
Comments by Shash
It's funny how without clothes they look all hot and bothered, but put some clothes on them and they look disgusted and bored.
Comments by Memarie Lane
Grant, she looks Japanese.
Poppy, Woopra!
Sybil, have fun!
Yoshi, it does have any number of options.
Hoatzin, that's probably a good idea.
Killer, try using gay porn to make your own.
Shash, thanks for the visit!
Memarie, I think some of them look pretty disgusted generally.
Comments by Avitable
Sunday Smorgashboard Edition 68...
Welcome to another edition of Smorgashboard Sunday! Here's where you'll find the best from the past week in my blogosphere... because it's all about me... really... or is it about you and someone forgot to tell me? Ooooohhhh...
Comments by A Pile Of Dog Bones
Too. Fucking. Funny.
Comments by Nee
I love 'Will You Marry Me?' the SFW one is so 'you want me to put that tiny thing on my finger?' And the only two words that need changing NSFW are on and finger.
Beautiful artwork again!
Comments by Bec
Ah, man I love this stuff.
Comments by Jason
Damn Adam, thanks for covering me up. I had no idea those pics had hit the net. Damn 90's!!!
Comments by Kay
Your baseball day is by far the most well thought out one.
You're very, very talented.
Comments by Jordie