Porn porn pornitty porn

There’s this internet phenom called sfwporn. Basically, it’s hardcore porn that is horribly and amateurishly drawn over in MS Paint to make it more innocuous, or Safe For Work. After seeing this for the first time yesterday, I was inspired to create my own. Behold:

Free Weights:
sfwporn_1 (Here is the NSFW original)

I Scream for Ice Cream:
sfwporn_2(Here is the NSFW original)

Will You Marry Me?
sfwporn_3(Here is the NSFW original)

At The Old Ball Game:
sfwporn_4(Here is the NSFW original)

Cheering!
sfwporn_5(Here is the NSFW original)

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66 Responses to Porn porn pornitty porn

  1. Amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    I’m not clicking on any of the originals… so I’m assuming you did great. Good job!

    Reply

  2. Poppy
    Twitter:
    says:

    Soooo… porn?

    Britt, cover your eyes.

    I’m not clicking on those links. I don’t want to get all horned out over other people’s sexy bits before I have “Dawg and Poppy fantasy time”.

    … well, ok, maybe one.

    Reply

  3. Mr. Fabulous says:

    I don’t know. I have been drinking. Hello.

    Reply

  4. bluepaintred says:

    this was hilarious. you cannot tell, but I am making my “I am highly amused” face.

    and thats a good thing. a VERY good thing

    Reply

  5. The beauty of the marriage proposal took my breath away. She was surprised at the size of the rock, wasn’t she!!!

    Reply

  6. nancycle says:

    I don’t think that gal eating ice cream has brushed her tongue ever.

    Blech!

    Reply

  7. Zom says:

    I like the originals.
    They’re more Graphically …. “beat my dickable”.
    But the ice cream one ….. made me gay for Ben and/or Jerry.
    mmmmmmm sprinkles!!!!

    Reply

  8. Mik says:

    Very creative, I clicked the links does that make me bad?

    Reply

  9. Hilly says:

    I’m pretty sure that I’m a little in love with that ice cream cone one.

    And I’m really sure that disturbs me ;) .

    Reply

  10. Iron Fist says:

    I never used to think women were that into sports, but it’s hard to fake the enthusiasm on the faces of those last two.

    Reply

  11. Winter says:

    That first girl looks like Natalie Imbruglia. I had to click on the originals. I like porn. Nice job on the paintover.

    Reply

  12. NYCWD
    Twitter:
    says:

    Your MS Paint skills have improved dramatically.

    I especially like the baseball one. I’m all for the hot dog.

    Reply

  13. I wonder how many people you will frustrate by it being Friday, at work, and truly unable to click the links for fear of what would be logged on the proxy servers.

    And for some reason I first thought you said swfporn, not sfwporn, so immediately I thought it was flash-based (ShockWave Flash) and it was going to be interactively nastified.

    I will not disclose whether or not I was disappointed when I found out it was not swfporn.

    Reply

  14. The next to the last one looks like she’s trying to smile with a dick in her mouth. Now THAT’S a professional!

    Reply

  15. Nat says:

    Definite good work on the ice cream cone…

    Reply

  16. Sandi says:

    Ok. I nearly snorted my coffee all over my computer!
    wheeee laughing here.
    I did HAVE to click one..the baseball one.
    Whew. Ok.

    Reply

  17. golfwidow says:

    “Oh, wow, you have a really big … engagement ring.”

    Reply

  18. Trishk says:

    How did you get that picture of hubby and me on the couch?

    Reply

  19. Nobody™ says:

    That’s awesome dude! I did click all the links, I like porn.

    Reply

  20. Stephanie says:

    @Poppy…lol…”horned out” is my favorite new phrase, and I will be using it sporadically throughout the entire holiday weekend.

    :boobs4:

    Reply

  21. Jen says:

    Finally, porn I can enjoy while my children are in the room!

    Reply

  22. Mindy says:

    I had to click on all the originals just to see how well you did;) You did a great job!

    Reply

  23. y not i says:

    Excellent work.

    You should take a crack at cleaning up Two Girls One Cup next.

    Reply

  24. Finn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Apparently there’s something wrong with her ice cream…

    Reply

  25. i am so sending a bunch of people here today. this was fun.
    :sexytime:

    Reply

  26. Donnie says:

    Funny, funny stuff!! I like my porn hot and that is the hottest!!! :violent018:

    Reply

  27. Maria
    Twitter:
    says:

    In the 4th, the dick in her mouth wasn’t even hard. That boggles me when I see that in porn. How detached do you have to be to be soft in a threesome with a decently hot chick?

    I think I’d cry if he had to jack a bit to stay rock if I was in that position.

    Oh, yeah, good covers! :p

    Edit: And the guy standing up? You forgot to pants his right leg. Yes. I studied that threesome shot *that* hard. I’m a horny toad.

    Reply

  28. Dragon says:

    Wow! I’d never guess it wasn’t real. :lmao:

    Reply

  29. Turnbaby says:

    LMAO @ Marie’s comments!

    Nice job :sexytime:

    Reply

  30. Trukindog says:

    At least you gave us the links to the originals anything less would have been shameful.

    I wonder though how many people at work still click on the original links?

    Reply

  31. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    Dude! You ruined the porn! Why would you ruin the porn? Never ruin the…oh…wait a minute…NSFW links.

    Niiiiiice!!!!!

    Reply

  32. Jeff says:

    Yeah but how amateur are those porno guys? They keep putting their penises in the wrong holes! Boy, do they have a lot to learn.

    Reply

  33. ajooja says:

    God, that old ball game drawing almost made me piss myself! :clap:

    Reply

  34. Avitable says:

    Amanda, you’ve already had your porn allotment for today?

    Suebob, like fucking da Vinci!

    Poppy, the links are superfluous – you’re supposed to laugh at the painted porn!

    Mr. Fabulous, what type of comment is that?

    BPR, is that anything like your O face?

    Jay, you’re erect, aren’t you?

    Deb, that and the jizzplosion immediately preceding it.

    Karl, I know it when I see it!

    Nancycle, I think she’s been putting it to good use.

    Zom, “beat my dickable” is a good phrase.

    Martymankins, I cheated and used Photoshop

    Mik, no, just horny.

    Hilly, rawr.

    Iron Fist, it’s so fun to cheer!

    Winter, you think?

    Shamelessly Sassy, thanks! If you want to send me naked pictures of yourself, I can do the same to you.

    NYCWD, me too – just had one at the movie theater.

    Wayne, interactively nastified, eh?

    Been There, she’s clearly a star.

    Nat, I liked that one the best.

    Sandi, glad you liked it!

    Golfwidow, I think her look is one of disappointment.

    TrishK, what about the third guy? Is that me?

    Nobody, porn makes the world go ’round.

    Stephanie, holiday?

    Jen, exactly! I think of the parents when I do these things.

    Mindy, are you totally turned on now?

    Y not I, if only I had Adobe AfterEffects.

    Finn, I don’t know – she seems to like it. In fact, I think she wants it all over her face and chest.

    Robin, you’re talking about the engagement ring, right?

    Hello, it’s good for a Friday.

    Donnie, and paintingest.

    Maria, you ARE a horny toad!

    Dragon, flawless, isn’t it?

    Turnbaby, want me to do you next?

    Trukindog, well, I’m at work, and I did it when I was working!

    Ok Where Was I, a diamond fan, eh?

    BE Earl, I don’t know – given the quality of that porn, I think I made it better.

    Jeff, silly guys – what were they thinking?

    Ajooja, awesome! I love if I can help with involuntary urination!

    Reply

  35. Sybil Law says:

    I looove your original art!! Seriously – that takes talent and imagination!
    Hahahahahahahahahaahahahaha
    Now I have to go click on the originals. I hope there’s some jizz shots!
    :woohoo:

    Reply

  36. Sybil Law says:

    Ewwwwwwwwwwww! No shit! Half those guys only have semi hard ons! Ick!
    Your art much improved the originals.

    Reply

  37. Miss Britt says:

    I’m sorry. I was going to comment. I really was.

    But then I accidentally read Poppy’s comment. And now I have to go. :puke:

    Reply

  38. Poppy
    Twitter:
    says:

    I knew you’d read it anyway. I’m enticing! Sorry! :P

    Reply

  39. Avitable says:

    Sybil, you and your jizz.

    TMP, what’s that for?

    Britt, I know!

    Poppy, is enticing the word for it?

    Reply

  40. Poppy
    Twitter:
    says:

    Um…

    what?

    The sarcasm level of your words is unclear.

    Reply

  41. Poppy
    Twitter:
    says:

    WOOOPRA!

    Ok, that was fun. Brings me back to being a teenager again…

    Reply

  42. Sybil Law says:

    I do not have jizz.
    I seem to remember being promised some jizz, but never getting any jizz. I got jizz jipped. Or gyped. Shit.
    Whatever. My kid is gone and I am starting the party early tonight! Seriously – I am drinking tomorrow night with 2 alcoholics, so I have to build a tolerance tonight. Wish me luck!

    Reply

  43. yoshi
    Twitter:
    says:

    Holy crap, the possibilities are endless, I love it!

    Reply

  44. Hoatzin says:

    The baseball one is superb, well done!

    I was going to give it 2 Thumbs Up, but having looked at the originals, I think I’ll go wash my hands and just keep my thumbs to myself for a while.

    Reply

  45. Killer says:

    I love this concept. I have tried to make my own pics, but once I open the porn, I can’t stop masturbating.
    I’m all chafed now. :cock:

    Reply

  46. Shash says:

    I clicked over because of comment luv and the title of your post, but those “doctored images”? LOVE IT.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to clean off the Iced Tea I spit all over my computer screen.

    Thanks for the laugh!

    S

    Reply

  47. Memarie Lane says:

    It’s funny how without clothes they look all hot and bothered, but put some clothes on them and they look disgusted and bored.

    Reply

  48. Avitable says:

    Grant, she looks Japanese.

    Poppy, Woopra!

    Sybil, have fun!

    Yoshi, it does have any number of options.

    Hoatzin, that’s probably a good idea.

    Killer, try using gay porn to make your own.

    Shash, thanks for the visit!

    Memarie, I think some of them look pretty disgusted generally.

    Reply

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  50. Bec says:

    I love ‘Will You Marry Me?’ the SFW one is so ‘you want me to put that tiny thing on my finger?’ And the only two words that need changing NSFW are on and finger.

    Beautiful artwork again!

    Reply

  51. Kay says:

    Damn Adam, thanks for covering me up. I had no idea those pics had hit the net. Damn 90′s!!!

    Reply

  52. Jordie says:

    Your baseball day is by far the most well thought out one.

    You’re very, very talented.

    Reply

  53. Michael says:

    There’s a lot of people who like porn, and a lot of people who don’t.

    I just say, whatever a man, and a woman, and another woman with a penis, and a midget, do to a donkey, is their own damn business.

    Amen? :sex011:

    Reply

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