I don't know what it is about this weekend, but my brain don't think too good. I saw this survey over at Steve's blog and decided to steal it. And I'm actually going to answer it seriously for once! I thought it had different questions than the typical tripe, so maybe it will make for less than shitty reading:
Who are you?
A selfish, hairy, sarcastic gorilla.
What's your Philosophy?
Love your friends and family unconditionally and despise everyone else equally.
First thoughts in the morning...
Today is going to kick ass.
Your current mood is...?
Cynical.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years...
Full-time millionaire blogger.
Your thoughts on ....
Life-
Some people deserve it. Some don't.
Love-
I love and fall in love with many things very easily.
Success-
I tie success very heavily into professional and financial freedom.
Happiness-
I'm always happy.
Death-
I have too many things to do first.
Fear-
I want the ability to instill fear in people easily.
Abortion
I don't believe I have the right to say anything - I am not a woman.
Why poverty exists?
I have very close friends and family members who are examples of people who pulled themselves out of a poverty-stricken environment, but for some people, it seems to be self-perpetuating.
The U.N-
I wish they had more power.
Wars- (by wars I mean wars in general)-
Although I understand their occasional necessity, I would never fight in one. I cannot understand believing in some random, intangible idea with such blind devotion that you'd trust in our military to keep you alive.
Suicide-
Suicide is selfish and lazy.
What is your favorite...
Author-
Stephen King - the Dark Tower series is an amazing opus.
Book-
IT, by Stephen King
Music Lyric-
Anything from "Piano Man", by Billy Joel
(Or from the Piano Man parody Fab sang about me!)
Quote about life–
Morality is not respectability. -George Bernard Shaw
Curse Word-
You stupid fuck.
Movie-
Grosse Pointe Blank
Movie quote-
"Hey, Biff. Get your damn hands off of her."
Final Random Thoughts.....
What would be the best job in the world?
For me? Owning a successful comic shop/cafe/movie theater.
And the worst job would be?
Anything in a corporate environment.
What is your biggest accomplishment to date?
My business.
What do you wish to accomplish in the next 5 years?
I want to grow my business until it is sold for a good value.
If you die tomorrow...
Who will speak at your funeral?
I wouldn't want one.
What would you like your eulogy to say?
"His milkshake brought everyone to the yard."
How would you hope to leave this world?
With advance notice.
Would you tell anyone you were going to die?
Only my wife and my best friend.
If you wrote a final letter to be read at your funeral what would it say...
I can't tell you. I'm writing my "death post", so I'd like it to be a surprise just in case.
Upon arriving at the pearly gates...what would God say to you?
"Hahaha, you've been punked. Bye now."
And finally..Your famous last words?
"What does this button do?"
What is a quick way to start a conversation?
Usually I just talk about the party in my pants.
And a quick way to end one??
Usually I just talk about the party in my pants.
Last words?
I'm exhausted.
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Did today indeed kick ass?
Comments by Amanda
Back to the Future is an AWESOME movie.
those are some mighty-fine answers. Can I pre-emptively borrow some cash in 5 years?
Comments by whall
And thus concludes another episode of Inside The Bloggers Studio with your host, James Lipton.
The biggest change I would make is best Movie. While Grosse Pointe Blank is a fine movie, it does not compare with the epic beauty of Tremmors nor the greatest line ever: ""Hey ya'll! I found the ass end!"
Comments by Y2K Survivor
surprisingly, none of these were really a surprise! not even the death post you will write in advance.
you make me giggle.
Comments by hello haha narf
That is an awesome meme. I'm totally stealing it. Great answers.
Comments by Karl
I am amazed at how much I can respect you, I mean, the odds are against you and yet these answers speak volumes...
Comments by tori
You are absolutely hairy and totaly sarcastic but I think not selfish - not from what I've seen. ;o)
Comments by Penelope
Ya know, I'm sitting here thinking between some of the answers here, and your posts on your Dad's Birthday and the one on racism, and I think 'Wow, This *Tact is for Pussies* guy is really pretty cool."
And then I rmemember your posting of the video of Beastiality with a snake, and I say....."Awww well ok, 2 out of three ain't bad!
I like this meme. I think I'll have to steal it. (You can keep the snake though!) ;)
~ZZ
Comments by Greeneyezz
I loved The Dark Tower series ... I loved every word of it, right up to the moment that he ruined the ending.
Comments by Cap
I am not afraid of you.
Comments by Miss Britt
Back to the Future is one of the greatest movies of all time. Crispin Glover had the greatest nerd vibe ever.
Comments by Lady Jaye
Your mention of Piano Man would have been a good place to put that parody I did for you.
Bastard.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
You just did that to make my first comment look stupid.
Comments by Mr. Fabulous
How did you function before Britt?
Is she your best friend?
Comments by Poppy
I might steal this.
Comments by golfwidow
You moved me Avi, I'm touched.
Comments by Robin
"Morality is not respectability. -George Bernard Shaw"
I love that. Perfect.
Comments by Finn
Amanda, well, Britt's back to work, so probably.
Whall, sure, but can I post-date the check?
Y2K, Tremors is indeed a classic.
Hello, giggle? Even with all of my serious posting?
Karl, yeah, it's a bit different from the usual crap.
Tori, respect me? Moi?
Penelope, oh, I'm totally selfish.
Greeneyezz, you never saw the dolphin blowjob video.
Cap, I loved the ending!
Britt, oh, sometimes I frighten you, and you even tell me that.
Lady Jaye, and Michael J. Fox is just so damn cute!
Fab, that is a brilliant idea.
Poppy, well, I had two salespeople who were half as efficient. And yes.
Golfwidow, I might charge you royalties.
Robin, touched in your no-no spot?
Finn, it is pretty apt for me.
Comments by Avitable
Cool Back To The Future answers (hey, I'm not alone in my love for that movie).
And Grosse Point Blank was a great movie, and not because it starred John Cusack.
And no funeral for me. Celebration of Life. I want people to remember me being happy, not dressed in black sitting in a box.
Comments by martymankins
No, what I tell you is that sometimes I am frightened by the fact that I can be FRIENDS with someone like you.
What SCARES me, is what that says about ME.
Comments by Miss Britt
"Hey, Biff. Get your damn hands off of her."
Comments by AmyD
You are a good, good man.
Comments by Sybil Law
You're an interesting fellow, Avi :)
Comments by Dragon
Both my No No and Yes Yes spots.
Comments by Robin
Dude, I would write you a kick ass eulogy.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
I just realized that the "milkshake" quote/answer from this Sunday's contest is probably not from "There Will Be Blood". Damn! ;)
Comments by B.E. Earl
Dude? You won't let me speak at your funeral? Seriously? Not even if we had a drunken Irish-wake type of thing? With lots of coconut rum?
*Yes, I would totally use your death as a pitiful excuse to drink my new, fave alky bev.*
*Yes, that was a stupid abbreviation.*
Yep, I'm gonna have to steal this one at some point.
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
I love to laugh + You make me laugh = I love you, you hairy gorilla person.
Comments by Been there Done that
This has an underlying layer of sweetness about it that has brought a tear to my eye. I shall echo Karl - Great answers.
Comments by Bec
Your "milkshake eulogy" comment had me cracking up.
Comments by Amber
Milkshake to the yard. . . made me laugh out loud. Good answers.
Comments by Black Belt Mama
I see we share the same philosophy.
Except that I don't necessarily like all my family (we weren't including aunts and cousins and stuff, were we?) and I don't really have many friends.
But despising everyone else equally? I'm all about equality.
Comments by Stacey
::perk::
did someone say party in pants?
Invited?
Comments by Stephanie
Okay, if we're both still blogging when you die (well, you won't be anymore but you know what I mean), I'm totally going to put a post up in your honor with the milkshake quote. :)
Comments by BlondeBlogger
Marty, BTTF is one of my favorite trilogies.
Britt, not just friends, but friends with boob benefits!
AmyD, love that scene!
Sybil, I don't know why you're saying that!
Dragon, how's that now?
Robin, sweet.
Tracy, would there be lots of cursing?
BE Earl, actually, it is.
CMG, only if you did it naked.
BTDT, I love me, too!
Bec, that sweetness is nougat.
Amber, I think it would be appropriate.
BBM, well, it's true.
Stacey, I don't like all of my family, either. But I do have lots of friends.
Steph, of course you're invited!
BB, sounds like a deal.
Comments by Avitable
Beneath that tough, cynical, ape-like exterior you're quite a thoughtful man inside.
Comments by Dragon
Piano Man is awesome!
Comments by Lynda
Dragon, nah, I'm a selfish bastard, and don't you forget about it?
Lynda, one of my favorite songs.
Comments by Avitable
Gotta say you gave some pretty good answers. I'm jealous. I wonder if some of my answers would change after hearing some of yours.
Comments by Crunchy
Crunchy, you're the king of the douchebags.
Comments by Avitable
Crunchy - sucks at life.
I say that because you are just a good, good man. Smart, funny, you make me laugh, and deep down you are sweet.
Comments by sybil law
Sybil, I'm not sweet. I'm really not!
Comments by Avitable
Okay - so deep down you're very KIND. Is that better?!
Oh - and I got my nutcracker today, and the condoms!!!
WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YEAH (to borrow from Miss Britt)!!!!!!
I can't wait to post about it but who knows when that'll be thanks to my crap computer!
But thanks! LOVE THEM.
My husband also thanks you. You didn't poke any holes in those things, did you?
Haha
Comments by sybil law
Sybil, I'm glad you liked them!
Comments by Avitable