Why I'm the best boss ever.
This is our company summer movie schedule – the days that I will take everyone in the office out to see that movie. And yes, I'll buy popcorn, drinks, and candy.
Friday, June 28th: Wanted
Thursday, July 3rd: Hancock
Friday, July 11th: Hellboy II
Friday, July 18th: The Dark Knight
Friday, July 25th: Step Brothers or The X-Files: I Want to Believe
Friday, August 8th: Pineapple Express
Friday, August 15th: Tropic Thunder
I think this more than makes up for "Naked Wednesdays", "Lunch at Rachel's", and our afternoon wake-up session, "Find the Boner", don't you?
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That is awesome.
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ummm… that's not work…
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And where can I sign up to work for you?
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Good god. I have to imagine you have very little employee turnover!
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Any current job openings? I'll do anything… roughly…
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That's a pretty nice benefit you provide your employees.
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Adam,
Can you put me on the waiting list of those wanting to sign up for YOUR company?
Does "Find the Boner" involve tweezers and magnifying glasses by chance?
You know Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is coming out at the end of summer, right? I'm sure you'd enjoy that one! Hehe
Anyway, I have to concur… you are a pretty amazing boss!
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I guess I'm staying with you every weekend in July. You'll totally take me, too, right?
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where do i send my cover letter and resume?
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I'm looking for a job.. I'll be sending my resume and pay requirements to you stat.
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You are so the best boss ever. I kind of hate Britt now.
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Dude. I wish my boss was that nice. :banghead:
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After this entry you will never want for another employee again! Do you validate parking too?
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Odd that I had to end reading this post by yelling at Maggie to pull her pants up.
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i think britt and i should switch jobs for a month…but only if there are topless thursdays in addition to take your pants off tuesdays.
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What's wrong with Find the Boner? :sex023:
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Wow.
You ARE the coolest boss ever.
I wish I could think of something funny to say about that.
Instead I'll just sit here and become green with envy, ok?
And, for no particular reason, I'll include this smiley….
:sex003:
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Damn, seriously? Don't people's significant others get pissed? My wife would get mad if I saw all those movies without her. Hell, she's still mad about the company excursion to see Donnie Brasco.
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Meh.
Not only do I buy MY employees a night at the movies (complete with drinks and snacks), but I also give them $250 for an escort and provide support counseling for them in the even that the movie sucks ass.
Of course, my only employee is myself, but still…
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Can I work for you two days in July? I really need the medical insurance.
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If you have disgruntled employees, send them to me for a while. After experiencing my quarterly gift of a roll of Lifesavers, they'll be grateful to get back to you.
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Wow. Such a cool boss. And you can dance to beat the band too! I'm impressed.
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Lucky SOB's
:):)
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Becky?
It's a deal!
Oh – and Adam – I'm not going to some fucking X-Files movie. So.. Step Brothers it is!! :dance:
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Ooooh, I found the boner!
;-)
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Amidst all the smart-ass and brown-noser comments bound to be on this post, you might be surprised to find a thoughtful and gracious stream of words lightly falling down while it extolls your greater qualities as a boss.
Then again, you might not.
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You hiring?
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Are you serious? I want you as my boss. I can't wait for Pinneapple express and wanted! And hancock, and yes, I want to see them all!!
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And here I thought telecommuting was a good idea.
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Wow, that is neat! Exactly how many people do you have working in your office?
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I am laughing at Tracy…. "employee turnover"
I would totally turnover for you if you took me to see all of those movies. You know how much I can eat!
Oh shit, you don't. I forgot about the upset stomach. Well anyway, let's just say we would each get our money's worth.
Missing you!
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LMAO @ Becky and Britt–hey that's a four fer
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I'd be one of those difficult employees because I don't want to see any of those movies…in fact I've never heard of any of them.
I like popcorn though. Especially when they have the Kettle Corn stuff you put on it.
I saw Kung Fu Panda last week…that was cute.
You know me…I get to the movies once a year and it's a children's movie.
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No "WALL-E?"
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Didn't you say I could be your assistant a while back?! I can do this: :sexytime: !
Then again, Britt takes you for pedicures, so she's an awesome employee, too.
Now I have to go click on some of those movies, because I've never heard of them…
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I wish any of the first 4 were already playing so I had something to go see tonight.
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You had me at soda.
When do I start?
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In this "Find the boner" afternoon wake-up, is it always the same person that finds it?
Dark Knight. Can't wait.
You are a cool boss to buy popcorn. It's more than the cost of the movies sometimes.
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The steaks at Rachel's are wonderful, but the talent is not up to par(at least at the one in West Palm Beach).
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All bow down to the great Avitable and his great bossiness.
:cocksuck2:
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Amanda, that's all the praise you have for me? Awesome?
Tori, not for those two hours, it's not!
Sarah, you can send topless photos and resume to adam at avitable dot com.
Tracy, only when I ask to see their butts.
DB, you'll do it roughly, eh?
Jay, beats health insurance.
Amber, tweezers? No, you're blindfolded and have to use your hands or mouth.
Karl, sure! C'mon up – we usually go to the first morning show.
ACG, and topless head shot, don't forget.
MsBatman, oh, I have to pay you too?
Maria, she'd tell you it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Tracy, you're your own boss!
Kay, free parking, even.
AmyD, I support naked blog reading.
Hello, there are indeed Topless Thursdays.
Winter, it's hard to do when you're in the middle of a phone call.
Janna, so if you're green with envy and the green smiley is humping the other's leg, you're saying you want to hump my leg?
Diesel, actually, my wife gets mad, but then if it's a good movie, I'll go see it with her again on the weekend.
Dave, ooh, an escort, too, nice. Tranny, of course, right?
Grant, wait, insurance?
DaisyJo, Lifesavers is an awesome gift.
Mattie, I'm multi-talented.
Bucky, you'd think they'd show me some of that appreciation, too!
Britt, I'm okay with Step Brothers.
Mike, you win a prize! A sticky, salty, prize!
Whall, probably not.
Kyra, I have an opening. In my pants.
LylaLou, me too!
Golfwidow, well, then you can go see movies on days other than Friday!
TrishK, here in Orlando, between 3-5, depending on the day.
ADW, you mean turn over for butt sex, right? Deal!
Turnbaby, sounds like I win in that deal.
Lisa, so it's not that you don't want to – you just haven't heard of them. You'd just have to trust my judgment that they'd be good movies. Britt was like that, too – she'd only been to the movies once in the past few years because of the kids.
Metalmom, I'll wait for DVD.
Sybil, she is an awesome employee – that's true.
Poppy, have you seen Get Smart? That was a funny movie that you might like.
NYCWD, when's the next big hurricane going to hit Florida?
Marty, the popcorn does get expensive!
Finn, I don't know. I'd actually never eat there.
Angie, bossiness? I'm not bossy, just a boss.
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Of course! Duh.
And it's double butt sex.
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Throw in smokes and a lottery ticket, and I'm coming to work for YOU.
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You need a project manager? I'll even buy my own popcorn.
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So…let me get this straight. You take your employeeS (there are more than Britt?) to see movies every week, your employees nap on the floor, swim in the pool, eat out (at restaurants, dirty mind) every day, and you PAY THEM? WTF?
I think the Find the Boner game is fair. How often DOES Britt get a boner? Oh, wait…
P.S. Is it wrong that I want want to see a twisted mashup of Hancock and Wanted where Will Smith and Charlize heron and Angelina Jolie get it on? :3some:
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Okay, that should have been Charlize THERON…apparently I was too blinded by lust to type properly. Or something.
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How the fuck do I get a job working for you?
Seriously. I would play find the boner to be PAID to go to the movies damn near every Friday this summer. AND I don't get anything but diet coke. I am cheap.
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You need someone to work remotely from Austin, Texas… right?! :sexytime:
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I was totally going to apply for a job until I realized that Wall-E isn't on the list.
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I'm packing my stuff now…will be moving to Florida tout suite. Now then, about you just giving me a job on a silver platter…
;)
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I have high hopes that I'll be there for Pineapple Express considering the current temperature in the Gulf. Although, sadly, all these icebergs melting is keeping the Atlantic cooler than it is ideal.
Damn you global warming.
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ADW, sweet!
Manager Mom, no corporate jet, though.
Cricky, that sounds like a pretty good deal.
Stephanie, yes, there are more employees than just Britt, and I try to run a relaxed office environment. It helps that the local employees work at my house.
TMP, well, you get Wednesdays off now, don't you?
Andria, now, how would you get to the movies if you lived in Austin?
Howard, I think my wife and I might go see that separately.
Hilly, Topless Thursdays are okay with you?
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NYCWD, damn Al Gore!
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I checked the movie times, it's not playing until late o'clock in France. I need to go home and talk to the landlords anyway…
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I have two bosses and one is pretty cool. I can't see him taking anyone to the show though. If he's running out of the office he will ask me if I need anything. My usual response is 'the winning lottery ticket', so he has bought me scratch offs.
It would be nice if more employers thought the way you do. Don't they get that a happy employee is going to be a more productive one?
Toodles~
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>>I'll buy popcorn, drinks, and candy<<
That's some serious money to be spending.
What is it you do for a living? Counterfeiter? Mob Boss? Haliburton Executive?
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Seriously? Even with naked Wednesdays and "Find the Boner" I'm hired, right? I'm in, right? "Welcome, new employee Heather!"
Wishful thinking…
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I'm available if you have any high-paying, low-stress job openings.
Or if you just wanna snuggle.
(The comment started out as "Do you have any openings I could fill?", but that sounded too gay. The snuggle line, on the other hand, is just gay enough)
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Poppy, stupid France with their stupid late movie times.
EE#3699, exactly!
Delmer, all three, actually.
Heather, you're gonna pack up and move down here? Tyler can get a job working with Boeing or something.
BE Earl, they are low-stress and snuggling is available.
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Uhh, video conference? Yeah. That.
The Dark Knight is an IMAX film, right? If so, I want pictures of you and your crew with those Oh-so-stylish goggles on.
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Okay, I'm a fantastic salesman and should definitely be employed by you!
I've never heard of Pineapple Express before this post. And I'd suggest X-Files over Step Brothers. Will Ferrell is hit or miss with me… mostly miss.
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Where can I send my resume?!!
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That's pretty cool but not worth having to find the boner. I might be persuaded if the movie choices were better. Guess that explains why I don't work for you. Well, that and I have no idea what you do. I saw you got your JD here in the Lou . . . what DO you do?
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but on the outside, rachel's looks like such a nice place.
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also, why hancock on thursday? is that when it comes out?
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No way! That is so cool!
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A small business in my area was just written up as a best place to work and one of the perks was every Thursday during the summer they had an ice cream man come to the parking lot and the employees were treated to one. Going to the movies sounds better though.
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Holy shit, when I can start working for you?
Some great movies!
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You have a thing for Friday flicks, no? Is it too late for Bossy to move to Orlando? Bossy can organize a mean Pool Table.
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Where do I sign up? I'd relocate – NO prob!
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Andria, I think we'll probably go see the normal version, not the IMAX version.
Kapgar, you should find the red-band trailer for Pineapple Express and watch it.
Just Another Oner, I've got a round file for it right here.
Gwen, I sell illegal immigrants into slavery.
Jared, I know! And Hancock is on Thursday because Friday is the 4th of July.
Atomic Bombshell, yup!
Summer, ooh, I'd love to have the ice cream man come too.
Yoshi, are you a good salesman?
Bossy, you can move to Orlando anytime and you're hired!
Cheri, what skills do you have?
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Hmmm, Hancock. Is that the one where Will Smith plays a tough on the outside, soft on the inside, wise cracking black guy?
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I'd be the resistant-at-first but I'd go. Hey, it's better than working. Wait, I'm not even working right now.
Can I go to the movies with you guys?
Are you hiring? I'd totally move to Florida!
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Craig, how'd you guess?!
Lisa, then you could go to Disney all the time!
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