Delmer, I’m stronger than you, even if you are a hundred feet tall.

Little LJ, why? I subscribe to about 20 different magazines.

Amanda, so you’d be up for a threesome?

Poppy, I told Amy that she was on my List!

Jared, wow, that’s like journalism 101 – write a sentence that makes sense!

Jay, and funny – can’t forget the funny.

BlondeBlogger, I mean that I ejaculated all over the place.

Hilly, WHAT? How can you not loooove her? She’s awesome!

Sarah, I used to live there. Now I’m sad.

BPR, Avril is #2. The list also has Gwen Stefani, Kristen Bell, and Emma Watson.

Cajunvegan, she’s got a nice set, that is true.

Britt, she’s wearing a bra! Don’t be jealous, fucker.

SinisterDan, would it have been easier if I had said, “I’m masturbating right now, Sarah Silverman!”?

Robin, this is true. I love Jewish princesses.

Maria, forced? Have you ever watched Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic?

Student Teacher, they’re done now, too. He’s back with Affleck.

TrishK, sigh. Old people are funny.

Heather, I’ll take her and send Matt to you.

Gwen, Heather called him first.

BTDT, is that the one near my buttcrack? Because it keeps itching!

Martymankins, you speak the truth.

Kapgar, yeah, but I’m a celebrity on the Internet.

Finn, ooh. Does she ever visit him?

Blondefabulous, you don’t like her?

Bucky, she looks great in every photo. Especially the surveillance ones I have.

BE Earl, yeah, I’ve seen that – it’s a great monologue.

Em, that is a good question. They actually seemed to do pretty well together.

Metalmom, I hadn’t brought them to your attention, clearly.

Hello, too much effort!

NYCWD, sure I am. Just squint a bit.

Jeff, yes. Her hair. They’re It’s awesome.

EE3699, I’m next in line.

Dragon, yeah, you’re probably right.

Vikki, once she meets me, she’ll forget all about Matt Who?

Crystal, thanks.

Dawn, I don’t know when it’s starting, but they do have another season.

Turnbaby, her list is weird and creepy.

Kay, all I care is that now’s my shot.

Sheila, do you live under a rock? Do a Youtube search for “fucking Matt Damon”.

Whall, almost?

Bec, Gwen Stefani, Kristen Bell, Emma Watson, Tina Fey.

Meg, but his face looks like a 90-year old boxer!

Nat, yeah, I thought so, too.

Stephanie, I never squeeze the boobs. I gently rub them.

Golfwidow, have you seen Jesus is Magic? You should check it out.

Angie, by SS you mean the German Schutzstaffel?

Beth, and she’s hilarious!

Help me, Avi-won. You’re my only hope.

I would, however, like to fuck Matt Damon.

And I may or may not want to squeeze.

Maybe.