Clearly, You're Retarded was the radio show with Adam Avitable and Britt Reints

Being guarded

Thanks to those of you who tuned in for last night’s episode of “Clearly, you’re retarded”. The topic we discussed was being open vs. being guarded in life. You can download it (and should download it) here, or find it as a podcast through iTunes here, or just listen live using the widget in my sidebar.

We got a bit off topic and ended up talking about stepping out of comfort zones and making friends. One topic I wanted to explore more was blogging openly and blogging in a more guarded fashion. Anyone with a brain would see Britt as being an open blogger. She has no problem sharing every bump in the road, every wart and every wrinkle, and it’s part of what makes her such an interesting blogger. On the other hand, I rarely post about feeling stressed or if I’m cranky. I don’t post about my concerns or my fears. But does that make me a guarded blogger?

I’m not sure. I would say yes, but would a guarded blogger post the following?

1. A naked picture of himself?
2. A video of him dancing?
3. An embarrassing post about masturbation? Semen?

How would you define a guarded blogger? An open blogger?

Share the love:
RSS
Follow by Email
Google+
Google+
http://www.avitable.com/2008/07/17/being-guarded/
YouTube
Pinterest
LinkedIn
Instagram
snapchat
whatsapp

56 Replies to “Being guarded”

  1. hello haha narf

    sorry i missed the show. belated birthday dinner on the bahama breeze deck with mojitos and friends from outta town. and presents! yeah, i had to miss the show. will catch it thursday evening in the archives. (thanks for links)

    personally, i think that even though you give out your address and phone number, you are a semi guarded blogger in that you don’t post about emotions and every day stuff. when you post about dancing, semen, nakey photos, masturbation, etc. i seem to remember you always going for the funny as opposed to how the events actually affected you (effected? dammit.)

    please don’t get me wrong, i absolutely adore your blog. i love it for what you put here. why are you forcing me to label it?

    i mean, i don’t care whether you are “guarded” or wide open, you provide a site that makes me want to come here within moments of me opening my internet connection.

    dammit, mojitos make me wanna holler “i love yew, man.” hehe

  2. Sarah

    I think of guarded bloggers as bloggers who don’t use their real names and what not. But then I don’t know what kind of blogger I am. Is there a category for a blogger who just writes whatever pops into their head? Because I am pretty much that kind of blogger.
    Oh and the show was good btw.

  3. AmyD

    You are only open when it’s funny. All is fair in war and comedy.

    I totally get this. Otherwise, why else would I have posted a picture of a cucumber carved up as a penis?

    No mother in her right mind would admit that her child did that!

  4. BlondeBlogger

    I prefer not to use labels. Everyone has a different personality and it shows on their blogs. So, though you say you’re not sharing every little detail, you are showing us the real you, because this is who you are. You’re more reserved in life (as you said on the show) so why should it be any different here? I think you’re awesome just the way you are. :thumbsup:

  5. Turnbaby

    I think you are very controlled in what you do here. And that’s cool because that’s what you are comfortable with on this blog.

    I did think the show was interesting albeit a bit off the original topic. It’s funny how that can happen;-)

  6. Gwen

    I think you are guardedly open – almost any topic is fair game as long as you can make it funny, which I believe is quite healthy but mostly because I have a similar writing voice.

    I don’t like to talk about serious issues or problems until I’ve got them sorted out in my head on my own. I have a hard enough time making good decisions w/o 20 other people piping in with their opinions and ideas. And by the time I have it sorted out, the issue has already morphed into funny.

  7. Hoosier Girl

    You are open but not all that personal. You don’t talk about your feelings or your marriage, and yet we’ve all seen you naked.

    Sorry I missed your show last night. Sexy trucker in town – I was willingly distracted. :sex023: I will listen to it today.

    J.

  8. Poppy

    What is this, summer school?

    I don’t take issue with what you choose or not to choose to post about, I take issue with you basing your decision to publish a post to your blog because anyone gives you shit for talking about The Real You.

    This is your blog, post what you want. Until you do that you’re a guarded blogger.

  9. Robin

    I don’t know, I guess someone who completely hides themselves. I figure if you want to be totally open or totally anonymous as long as it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt others it’s cool with me.

  10. NYCWD

    Before I write a post in your comments, let me just say I agree with Hola hoho snarf and her assessment of your blogging style. However, I don’t view that as semi-guarded, I view that as full blown guarded. But, at the same time, it is because you are guarded that I don’t necessarily consider you as a Personal Blogger.

    For that matter, I think your more open on the radio show than you are here. So maybe your a Personal Radio Personality?

  11. hello haha narf

    oh! oh! what poppy said about posting whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want!!

    apparently i like a bunch of !!!! today. next thing you know i will be in all caps. sheesh.

    (why does it crack me the fuck up when dawg calls me a jacked up name? maybe because when i read it i can hear his new york voice in my head? snarf!)

  12. Girl, Dislocated

    My internet connection sucks at the moment, so I’ll have to listen when I’m somewhere where I can sustain a connection to the internet for more than 45 seconds at a time.

    I have a hard time classifying bloggers as either open or guarded. I think it’s a continuum with guarded on one end and open on the other. Though some blogs remain in the same part of the continuum with every post, your blog falls at different points depending on the subject matter, so I really can’t label you one or the other.

  13. golfwidow

    I always get the impression that you’re writing for yourself first, so if that means you don’t feel on dwelling on things that might stress you out, you just don’t. I don’t see that as being guarded OR open.

  14. Poppy

    Sorry, please ignore the things above. They’re not related to this.

    But, please do fess up to what you said on the radio show: That you have received feedback on posts where you discuss your feeling that people “didn’t come here to read THAT!” so this affects your decision to post about your feelings.

    You said that. You did. I heard it.

  15. Jen

    What do I consider an open blogger? Someone that writes in a manner that when i read it, I feel like we’re carrying on a conversation and you’re sitting next to me at a bar telling me some funny story.

    A guarded blogger to me is someone that insists on making up code words for their kids’ names and calls their husband something dumb-ass like “hot husband” and basically uses so much code words and jargon for shit that you can’t tell what the hell they are talking about.

    You talk about your life, and you seem to be honest. I can’t imagine being any more open than that.

  16. Finn

    Well… I just read Jen’s comment and am full of shame for not using my husband’s and child’s real names. :loser: But I need to have a pass because Mister is a cop and bad people target cops — and their families. For reals.

    I think what Becky said is true: You let your guard down in service to the funny, but not just because.

  17. blondefabulous

    I’m just about as guarded as I explained in my post yesterday when I was trying to explain to my husband why I don’t post about our sex life! Of course, when it comes to my family, extended family, & people I don’t know, I am VERY open! :thumbsup:

  18. misi

    I don’t think you are guarded per say I just think your blog has a “theme”. Ya know, sarcastic humor w/ a hint of shock value.
    We all pretty much follow a “theme” on our blogs. If you think about it, that is.

  19. little_lj

    I’ve not been here long, but I think you seem to share any aspect of your life as long as it has value for your blogging purposes, which are largely based on humor… but I don’t think you wear your heart on your sleeve like Britt. But from listening to your radio shows (which are so much fun to listen to FYI.. you guys do a great job!) I think this is reflective of your personalities too.

  20. Sybil Law

    I would say that you are a guarded blogger, but I’ve always enjoyed when you post something sweet and unguarded – because it catches me off guard! Either way, you’re literally the first blog I read every day, so I come back for whatever you dish out. I’d say you post the naked stuff and dancing and whatever, because you know it’s funny, but more importantly; that’s stuff you’re comfortable with – therefore, you are not guarded about it.
    I feel like I am talking in circles.
    I totally understand how you guys segued into stepping outside your comfort zone – because if you’re a guarded person, you’re less likely to.
    Small bit of info: your blog was the first blog I decided to comment on, where I did not actually know you in person – and that was after lurking a while! Sounds silly to be all nervous over leaving a comment, but I was – and you were kind and replied – like you always do. I stepped out of my comfort zone ala guarded world, and I am glad I did.
    I so just wrote the longest comment. Sorry!

  21. Em

    I’m guarded in the sense that I try to preserve my anonymity, but as far as feelings and shit like that, I let it all out.

    You do not come across to me as guarded… but what the hell do I know?

  22. Jay

    I would say you are guarded in so much that don’t seem to just throw a bunch of personal stuff up here on your blog without being careful about how you word it and making sure you don’t say too much or more than you want. A lot of people will just sit down and let it all hang out and then check spelling and toss in a couple of commas and hit publish.

    I would say that I’m fairly guarded in that I don’t really get too personal on my blog. I used to back in the early days of the blog, but that got boring and I kept looking like some kind of a whiner. But, on the other hand I’m not exactly anonymous either. I mean, it’s not hard to find me if somebody wanted to.

  23. martymankins

    I’ve always defined guarded blogging as not talking about certain subjects like sensitive details related to a job, deep personal issues with family that would cause big issues if discussed publicly… There are things I want to discuss, but would need to either get an alias and start another blog or just not blog about it at all.

  24. Asthmagirl

    In a larger sense, I think most bloggers are guarded in some sense, either by the topics they choose, what they edit out of their posts or by limiting comments to what they do post. After all, you can say whatever you like if you close comments. Being open is to accept feedback good or bad. I think you’re pretty open. We all edit to some extent whether we admit it or not.

  25. MarkAntony

    You are selectively guarded. You choose to reveal the things most people would be shocked, surprised, or disgusted by but stay private about things that don’t have any shock value.

    I have a feeling that if we met you would be quiet, reserved, and a lot like this guy “Sad Shawn” that works at a restaurant I go to.

  26. Beth

    I think you’re open in some ways, but not in others. You’re very honest with your friends and share your feelings/thoughts about certain things, but I think you’re blog is a bit more guarded, emotionally. That’s ok, though.

  27. Crys

    i think you’re guarded, generally, about the things that matter to you. i think your testicles don’t matter to you in an active sense (though they would if i, say, kicked them), or yourself naked. but your home life? your fears? that’s different.

    yes, different than testicles.

  28. Charlene in Arkansas

    i wanted to say thanks for your thoughts while dad was in heart hospital and to say thanks~they worked~~dad is now in local hospital for stroke therapy and mom’s cancer dr called and said no reoccurance of her bladder cancer~~thanks
    oh how much did you pay heart hospital not to be banned~~lol (at least some blogs were visible to me)

  29. Ok, Where Was I?

    That’s a tough question with regard to you b/c yes, you do have a naked photo, but you seem to go for the humor most of the time. Not a crack, by the way–more in the spirit of takes one to know one. I think I can give the illusion that I reveal a lot, but I know there’s a lot that I don’t.

    That masturbation in school story is hilarious. That other masturbation story convinced me that when you say not to read, I will listen.

  30. Y2K survivor

    OK so the general consensus is you are a guarded blogger because you don’t express your frustrations and pissy moods. I on the other hand totally understand the situation. You have a staff you take out all your frustrations and pissy moods on, and save the good-time boy persona for those of us that read your blog. I for one salute you, but one of your staff said I could only salute if I used a certain finger.

  31. Grant

    Guarded bloggers are the ones who don’t comment, respond to comments, or even have a public profile. I sometimes wonder why they bother. It’s like going to a mixer so you can spend the evening trying to avoid contact with strangers.

    A truly open blogger would post his credit card info and some pics of hot Asian chicks. I’m tired of masturbating to your photos. At least give us another nekkid pic of yourself while you deepthroat a footlong.

  32. Becky

    Being very much a newbie to your site, I really haven’t fully formed an opinion as to whether you are an open or guarded blogger. I my thought is, as long as you’re content with what you post, what does it matter what other people think? Keep in mind, even though I can say that, if you were to look at me the wrong way, I just might start to cry.

  33. misi

    Hey, MarkAntony- you totally stole my words. Dumb-ass. No one else used the words”shock value”. Pretty much you just summarized my comment and signed it with your weak ass name.
    Which; has anyone else realized he signs MarkAntony intead of MarkAnthony”?
    Whatev- dude just get your own shit next time dick wad. And don’t even bother fucking w/ me, not only do I not allow Anon. comments, I moderate them too fuck face!javascript:moreSmiliesAappendSmiley(‘:sexytime:’)
    sexytime

  34. Crystal

    As a former blogging camwhore, no one can ever say that I’ve been guarded.

    At least until that time my uncle asked me if I gave family discounts to my members-only area, at which point I stopped posting as many topless shots. I tend to be a little more guarded about badmouthing my family, since I’ve only started talking to some of them again, but I’m generally pretty open about my life.

  35. Avitable

    Amanda, someday.

    Hello, I do always go for the funny. But that’s usually because I’m about the funny 90% of the time.

    BE Earl, did you get a BUI? Blogging Under the Influence?

    Sarah, that’s a stream of consciousness blogger. And thanks for listening!

    AmyD, there’s very little that’s not funny, though, so I’m open about it all.

    Karl, if it makes you laugh, it’s fair game!

    BB, oh, I know I’m awesome.

    Britt, so help me, if you give me sympathy PMS . . .

    Turnbaby, we plan on trying to keep it on topic as close as possible.

    Gwen, even serious issues have funny sides, so I always focus on those. And you can download the show and listen to it. You should totally do that!

    HG, I don’t really have “feelings” – nothing really bothers me.

    Poppy, but I’m all about my audience. I’m an attention whore, remember?

    DB, that counts. Now have you downloaded and listened to our show yet?

    Robin, so it can’t hurt others? Damn.

    NYCWD, I blog my feelings on my blog – it’s just that my feeelings are not negative ones, but rather humorous.

    Turnbaby, I don’t ever try to be guarded.

    Girl Dislocated, I hope you enjoy the show if you can listen to it.

    Golfwidow, I also just don’t dwell on those things offline, either.

    Poppy, yeah, there were comments that said that, which made me realize that trying to do that shit didn’t make any sense.

    Jen, well, I can understand some code words. I’d just prefer a fake name so that I can keep it straight. It’s tough reading about ADHAGELK and AGEEGHDGH went to the JBBBE with HHHHE@#!YO), because it’s all Greek.

    Finn, you have a good excuse. And it’s not that I keep my guard up otherwise – I just don’t really get depressed or anxious or anything for more than ten minutes in a day.

    Blondefabulous, there are some areas that I don’t feel are the business of the Internet – that’s usually stuff related to my wife, because it’s not my place to talk about her in a public setting.

    Misi, I try to avoid a theme, but I guess that’s true.

    Sinister Dan, masturbation is always funny, which does usually mean embarrassing.

    Little LJ, I just think I have a smaller, colder heart thatn her. My heart is still on my sleeve – it’s just that there isn’t much there.

    Sybil, I didn’t know that about my blog – I feel privileged now.

    Em, your opinion is very helpful!

    Heather, did you download it and listen, though?

    Jay, I know it’s not hard to find you. I’m outside your window right now.

    TMP, I just don’t see the point in sharing the other stuff.

    Sheila, I’m not emotional, so I could never be in that Oprah way.

    Marty, that’s true – that’s guarded blogging to some degree.

    Asthmagirl, I’d never close comments in those situations.

    MarkAntony, shut up.

    Soapy, oh, so you’re coming, now? And yes.

    Beth, I’m just not an emotional person!

    Crystal, I don’t really have fears, though. Other than being kicked in the testicles by you.

    Charlene, good to hear about your family!

    Ok Where Was I, I always go for the humor, because the rare unfunny stuff just seems boring.

    Y2K, you can ignore that staff member. She’s a bitch.

    Grant, my credit card number is 1234 5678 9012 3456. Weird, huh?

    Becky, blogging can make you grow thick skin quickly.

    Misi, actually, that was a retard friend of mine thinking he was funny since Britt had the real troll.

    Student Teacher, I’ll wait with bated breath.

    Crystal, so you were stripping for your uncle?

    Stephanie, merely assigning the labels without explanation doesn’t help.

    Mik, you like naked fat men, clearly.

  36. Stephanie

    Well,dammit. Why do I have to explain myself around here? I’m not getting paid, you know?

    Britt: Has the uncanny ability to openly speak..i think that is the writer in her…so she is OPEN.
    Adam: Doesn’t tell too much about his personal life, including a lot about Amy or family, because (and this is my asshole..i mean opinion…) you don’t want to leave the people you love open to criticism or bashing. Therefore you are guarded…and I get that.
    Stephanie: Got caught on a previous blog…nothing too controversial…but the bullshit and unnecessary asshattedness that resulted was stupid…therefore: Once Bitten Twice Shy, or GuardedAsAMotherFucker.

    Better?

Leave a Reply