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My problem with BlogHer

Female bloggers make up the majority of personal bloggers online. They control more advertising dollars and they dominate the blogosphere.

Having a conference and a community dedicated to the strength of the majority just doesn’t seem right. It’s like if there was a BlogWhite if Caucasians made up the majority of personal bloggers. Plenty of people would have a problem with that, but nobody sees the irony here.

Couples with no children have more disposable income than parents, yet there’s no site for them to explore revenue generation or opportunities to try new products. Single men are more likely to be the early adopters of new, expensive technology, yet they’re completely ignored. It’s just stupid.

I’d like to change that. I want to come up with a site that actually represents the minority of bloggers out there – the childless couples, the single men, and even the single women. This site would try to attract advertisers who are looking for high disposable income, early adoption of technology, and a market that has the potential to be more lucrative than the mommyblogging set.

In sales, a childless couple (or an older couple with adult children) is called a DINK. Dual Income No Kids. The site I’m thinking of starting would be called Right now it just points to my site, but eventually, I’d like to create a community that could result in revenue generation for all of its members.

I’d be interested to hear everyone’s thoughts on this concept, good or bad. All I ask is that they be constructive.

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87 Replies to “My problem with BlogHer”

  1. lestlie

    I’m actually glad that you posted this. I’ve been blogging for about six years now, and I’ve always felt like I was the minority because, while female, I’m unmarried, childless, and will more than likely remain so for some time. I am, by no means, considered a “DINK” but I do understand completely where you’re coming from. I’d like, for once, to not feel like I should be a stay-at-home mommy blogger in order to get some net-respect.*

    *no, I’m not hating on the mommy blogs…I’m secretly addicted to them, even if the ratio of mommy bloggers to, erm, not mommy bloggers is astounding.

  2. Mary

    I wish I could give you constructive feedback, but I am a single income, 2 child, no child support mom. It may be a large target audience but, not a lot of disposable income!

  3. little_lj

    As a young single female blogger, its true a lot of attention and market-share of the personal blogosphere is taken up with “mommy-blogs”. I think it’s an amazing community, and I really enjoy reading a lot of them.

    I’m not doing my blog for any kind of financial gain, or public recognition really, so this doesn’t bother me in that way. But I can see how other bloggers who don’t fit into the mommy model might feel frustrated that there is no similar community for them. And you are right, singles and DINKs have in all likelihood a lot more disposable income to spend in comparison.

    In my opinion, it’s a definite gap in the blog market, that is worth pursuing.. great idea!

  4. whall

    Oops, not constructive. and not indicative of my point.

    Um…. I like the URL but I would recommend you use something more “snazzy”. “twitter” and “utterz” is better than “” or “”

    “dink” as a word is pretty cool and mostly there, so just play on that more. So as not to give away the domain names that might be available, I’ll email you privately of some of the possibilities.

    I would think that DINK would also include the G&L crowd, and there’s a TON of disposable income there (or so I would believe).

  5. blondefabulous

    Sounds like a plan.

    I am a mom, but I blog about a lot of crap that has nothing to do with me being a mom, or my kids, or heck anything else that has to do with my family. And up until Karl started blathering on about it, I had no clue what the hell blogher was anyway…. perhaps just my denseness, or it just isn’t that important to me.

  6. B.E. Earl

    Well, I’d like to be constructive, but I’m a little drunk. So instead I will say that blogging conferences don’t interest me at all. So the fact that there is a BlogHer conference doesn’t make me feel left out. It makes me feel un-interested. Which is how I feel about conferences in the first place.

  7. Sarah

    I think that’s a good concept. I do read blogs about people with kids but there is a part of their blogs that I can’t relate too. I’m only 21, I have no kids and no significant other. It’d be nice to have a community that wasn’t overrun with mommybloggers.

  8. Sarcastic Mom

    I think it’s a fine idea. My first thought upon reading the beginning of the post was that if someone thinks something is lacking out there, they should pioneer it. I mean, come on, BlogHer had to start somehow, too, didn’t it?

    Go get ’em.

  9. Dan

    I think it’ a good idea also, and even though I probably qualify for the blogher group being a daddyblogger and all (or at least a part time daddyblogger) I would never sign up due to the “her” tag.

    However, I do think it would be vital to ensure that any site/forum/activity didn’t deteriorate into a “We hate mommybloggers” rantfest. Certainly if you’re aiming for it to go as mainstream (and thus profitable) as possible

  10. Ioma

    I read some mommy-blogs, but like Sarah said, there’s a big part of those blogs that I just can’t relate to. I rarely leave comments on those blogs because, having no children of my own, I don’t feel qualified.

    Mommybloggers seem to have…enough already. There’s already so much out there, and new stuff keeps popping up everywhere.

    I think it would be nice to see more support and opportunities (both in advertising and socially) for child-free bloggers, which could definitely fit in with what you’re thinking of starting.

  11. Jennifer

    I guess I’m a “mommy-blogger” but I only fit into that genre because I have boobs, two kids and a husband.

    Otherwise I don’t really feel a connection to all those women going to Blogher. And frankly am annoyed at the cliquishness of it all. I blog because I don’t have a large social circle. Most of my friends tend to be dark horses and I STILL rebel against what is popular and “in”. This is what, the third year that I’ve been aware of BlogHer (2nd??) and I am still annoyed it is going on.

    Wouldn’t setting up something like this just perpetuate the whole us vs them thing?

    I need more coffee.

  12. manager mom

    Lots of testosterone in the comments today. How about BlogHim? Or BlowMe? or something like that?

    There are only TWO professions where women rule: blogging and supermodeling. Since my chances of making it big in the latter are unlikely, let me cling to my hopes and dreams on the first…

  13. Crystal

    Count me in. My husband and I are total DINKs and don’t plan on having kids, so we spend that extra income on things like electronic gadgets and tattoos. I read 1 or 2 mommy-blogs on occasion, but as it was pointed out, it’s difficult to leave comments on something you can’t relate to.

  14. golfwidow

    Right now I’m a ZINK (zero income) and before that I was a SINK (single income). All of this, except for the NK part, is the fault of the current state of the economy. I’m hoping to be DINK or even TINK (if That Man of Mine follows his plan to get a second, night job doing security) within the next few months. Here’s hoping.

  15. Jen

    I think any blog that receives a lot of traffic would be an ideal marketing demographic. I don’t know the true meaning of a “mommy blogger” but I’m a mom and I blog so wtf-ever– I guess I am one!

    I do know that I don’t write reviews of diapers or tout the newest sippy cups on the market. You have a great idea, and now just need to plan it out a little more and run with it.

    I think I pretty much just agreed with you.

  16. turnbaby

    I agree with Wayne re the name—it helps if it’s catchy.

    I think it’s a great idea. I also think it would be smart to focus on double income no kids ‘types’ but not exclude persons interested in similar things.

  17. hello haha narf

    i am all about in agreement. go adam!

    as i started reading the post i was formulating my comment that would say, “i think you should start a group” (because i didn’t want to say “start a movement” and have you go to toilet jokes). then you finish up with the fact that you are ready to run with this so all i can say is please include single folks with no kids coz i spend all kinds of money on stupid shit!

  18. Kathy

    I’m active on BlogHer and even write a couple posts a month for them, but as a single, childless (childfree? Is that the PC term?) woman with a personal blog, I’m somewhat of an outsider in the blogging community. There are a few sites out there for women without children, and Indie Bloggers is kind of billed as a site for those who don’t fit in anywhere. (I don’t think I’m a strong enough writer to submit anything, though.) I’m curious what you come up with.

  19. Nat

    That much estrogen in one place is scary. It may have been necessary in one time and place but not so much anymore. I can’t help but feel that BlogHer is trying to sell me something.

    So yeah, great idea… but I reckon it needs to be more punk rock than that (a la 1970 not this emo crap.)

  20. Coal Miner's Granddaughter

    Yeah, I hate BlogHer because I’m not a joiner and don’t think I’m like any of those women. I’m certainly nothing like Dooce and I refuse to go because it’s part of “the in-thing” to do. I’m not a conformist. Fuck that. I’d rather take the four days of a BlogHer conference, four days without kids, and go scuba diving instead. Or get my favorite blogging buddies together for drink and fun. This is the same reason why I don’t go to my high school reunions. Ish.

    I would totally read I think that’s a great idea. πŸ™‚

  21. Sybil Law

    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter and I could SO hang out!
    I agree with what she said overall.
    I like your plan, but I’d rather be in on your action than the mommy bloggers.
    How about, or something? Because I think a lot of “mommy bloggers” don’t necessarily even fit into that category.
    Anyway – good idea, overall.

  22. bluestreak

    you make a really good point about blogher. i find myself a bit annoyed everytime I discover a new blogger to find half the posts are about their kids and secretly wish they were single men just for variety’s sake. I understand. If I had kids I’d probably blog about them too, but more and more I’m interested in finding male blogs and non-kid-related blogs. So yeah, I’m into it.

  23. Faiqa Khan

    First, I think your idea is great. As a single income, one kid, entrepreneur-suburbanite looking to capitalize on the DINK market, I would def. be interested in the advertising capacity. I cant wait to see what you do this idea.

    That said, I *do* take issue with the comparison of BlogHer and the white male thing.

    Women, in the real world, form social groups and networks based on gender in order to insulate from or at least help them manage an overriding superstructure which has historically placed them at a disadvantage. I know you’re talking about the blogosphere and not society/civilization in general, but I get the sense that your comparison ignores the fact that we’re still carrying all the baggage of the real world with us even when we’re in the blogosphere, cyberspace, Internet.

    Even if they are a majority in blogging, women still represent something of an underclass (give me a little leeway here for the sake of argument) in the real world. Therefore, I think it is entirely appropriate for them to have dedicated communities, whereas it would still be inappropriate for white males to have their own forum.

    Post-modern feminist arguments aside, you should def. start the DINK community. It’s a great idea.

    P.S. I am officially a member of the Church, now, if you’ll still have me. Your site just…well, this is going to make me sound really old…rocks.

  24. Jay

    Could a single person who has two jobs also be considered a “DINK?”

    I think it would work. That kind of targeted marketing seems to work well online and especially on blogs. I’ve seen “liberal blog ad networks” and “conservative blog ad networks” and the sports blogs have their own ad networks going now and of course there are the mommy bloggers. So, something like what your talking about should work in a similar fashion.

  25. Stephanie

    I actually think it’s an awesome idea. The hubs and I are child-free by choice (oh shit here come the attacks). I am NOT, however, one of those militant childless women who call moms “breeders” and “moos”. Sick. I love kids, just not interested in having our own. I actually would be very interested in Bring it on.

  26. Stephanie

    Oh, also, I forgot my comment about Blogher. I always did feel a bit out of the loop…seeing the ads and everything, but it’s just not my niche. The thought of that conference gives me hives. I’m not one of the powerful blogger elite. I’m on the fringes of the community…just trying to hang on for the ride.

  27. Dave2

    What I love about the blogosphere is that it doesn’t exclude anybody. Absolutely anybody can start a blog and put themselves out there. I think it’s a shame when organizations start carving it up and dividing people, but that’s human nature and what people do: like-minded people tend to congregate together. It’s why I purposely try to read blogs that are diametrically opposed to me, so I can take advantage of what the blogosphere is offering us.

  28. Angel

    I think everyone should have someplace they feel like they are among people “like them” as long as they don’t behave as if they are “better” than people who are different. It doesn’t seem like you are the sort who would do that, but I think you should be aware that a lot of people are, and you will probably have to work to maintain an “us vs. them”-free environment.

    On a personal note, I think it’s funny how I never meant to be a mommy-blogger, though once I started writing about my life, that’s exactly what I became. Because my family dominates my life. As it should be, really-family should take priority. But it’s also made me aware of how I need some space to just be Angel, apart from being Mommy.

    Anyway, I don’t think any mommybloggers should take offense to you trying to create something that appeals more to you, where you stand. And if they do, well, fuck them, ya know?

  29. Nina

    Makes sense to me. I am technically not a DINK blogger but I am do have a dual income because I work two jobs. I don’t know much about Blogher – not because I don’t love moms or kids but just because that’s not where I am in my life and I while I sympathize, and blah blah, the typical mommy blog just doesn’t interest me very much. So in short, yes. You are correct.

  30. Sheila (Charm School Reject)

    As seems to be par for the course lately, I can’t really comment on any of this because, as usual, I am the retard of the group, and have no freakin’ clue what any of this means. I’ve seen the ads of sites and I’ve read minor mentions of the generation of revenue from said ads but after that, I’m lost.

    As far as the DINKS/SINKS etc how about making it open to everyone and then maybe to qualify for the ads based on some sort of survey? But again, I could be totally missing the point of all of this.

    I think it’d be cool to go to BlogHer. I just don’t have the balls to do so. I live in Chicago. BlogHer was IN Chicago. Did I go? Nope. And it wouldn’t have cost me hardly anything to go. Because I am a pussy.

    (For someone with nothing to say, I sure do talk a lot. Someone please tell me to STFU. No, don’t. Then I’ll cry or something.)

  31. Queenie

    A month ago, Blogher kicked me out of their blog rotation because I called some idiot that I had a telephone conversation with, a towel head. I can write about masturbation – in detail. I can discuss sex, politics, homosexuality and any other topic that I want and it’s not offensive enough to warrant getting kicked out of their network but mention one little thing about goat farmers and whammo.

    I am a married mom of 3. I want in on whatever network you are putting together. Can you just grandfather me in under the “uses the F word a lot” stipulation? Please?

  32. Ok, Where Was I?

    I think it’s brilliant. I’ve been doing this less than a year, and though I have kids, the term “mommyblogger” never seemed just right. What you describe seems to suit a whole lot a people.

    And of course you like Twitter. You’ve got some mad internet skillz that I don’t have! But seriously, that you go to everyone’s blog is really great. Your date with Hitler above may seem initially intimidating, but you seem most generous.

  33. Foo

    Cheers and good point…DINKS have extra cash to spend on toys…the neighbors refer to us as DILDOS – dual income little dog owners – I think they just like saying DILDO. Whatever, we rock the no kid thing quite well and I’d be very good at reviewing stuff, just never happens.

  34. Avitable

    Lestlie, thanks for the input. This site will be open to the single bloggers as well.

    Mary, you can just support from the sidelines! πŸ™‚

    NYCWD, I’ll be working on that.

    Amanda, thanks.

    Iron Fist, initially, probably set up a basic blog site with required registration and see how many people would be interested. Do some surveys, get some feedback, then approach advertisers.

    Little LJ, I’m definitely not anti-parents – but everyone else should have somewhere to go, too.

    Whall, dinkbloggers is pretty short, though, and it’s descriptive. The problem with something like Twitter is that you have to explain it to people who aren’t already entrenched in it. And I didn’t even think about the GBLT crowd.

    Blondefabulous, I wouldn’t necessarily prevent parents from joining, either.

    Squeaky Wheel, you mean there’s not a gun nut advertising circle? πŸ˜€

    Student Teacher, of course! I’ll definitely play favorites.

    BE Earl, you are always drunk, aren’t you?

    Sarah, that was my thought, too.

    Sarcastic Mom, very true. Thanks for the input!

    Dan, I would not want it to be an anti-anyone site. It’s to be supportive to a different group, but not against any group.

    Freelance Guru, I don’t know if Dooce makes more money than a technical blog, but the advertisers pursue the moms.

    Ioma, that’s what I was hoping. Thanks for the comment!

    Just Me, and why don’t you have a blog?

    Libragirl, I can always tell the skimmers from the readers! I said “I want to come up with a site that actually represents the minority of bloggers out there – the childless couples, the single men, and even the single women”

    Jennifer, I wouldn’t preclude parents from joining, but the advertising would be geared towards non-parents. Graco’s not going to be advertising.

    Bubblewench, sweet.

    Britt, who do you think will be my marketing guru?

    Manager Mom, most of the commenters, surprisingly, are women, though. And this wouldn’t be anti-women blogging. It would just give people a place for revenue generation that might not be all about diapers and Campbell’s soup ads.

    BTDT, you can be both!

    Gwen, another skimmer, eh? I said “I want to come up with a site that actually represents the minority of bloggers out there – the childless couples, the single men, and even the single women”.

    TrishK, I have lots of good ideas. I’m a genius, remember?

    Crystal, tattoos – that’s something I didn’t even think of.

    Finn, yes.

    Golfwidow, what about a QINK?

    Crystal, thanks!

    Jen, I think you did, too. Agreement is always good.

    Turnbaby, I wouldn’t exclude anyone.

    Dragon, and it explains what it is, too.

    Hello, go me!

    Kathy, it wouldn’t be exclusionary, but just somewhere for people who are perfectly viable advertising targets.

    TMP, how about a SIOK?

    Nat, well, I do like a little emo sometimes, but not too much.

    Absurdist, SINKs and DINKs unite!

    Heather, high-income parents would definitely fit this category, too.

    Sybil, I wouldn’t exclude parents, but I’d make sure that the advertising is for disposable income types.

    Karl, just wait until we have all the single women at ours.

    Bridget, just submit an application and topless photo by email.

    SinisterDan, people who don’t write kid posts are still a good demographic.

    AmyD, why not? You’re not really a mommyblogger.

    EE#3699, stay tuned!

    Bluestreak, I don’t mind funny kid posts. But some of them can just get tiring.

    Danalyn, hooray indeed!

    Faiqa, you’re right about the real world problems that face women even today. And I wouldn’t want to minimize this – I was just using it as an example if we were looking at the blogosphere in a vacuum. Obviously, nothing is really in a vacuum, so the existence of BlogHer does make sense. And welcome to the Church! It’s hard to believe we haven’t talked to each other in more than 10 years!

    Jay, yes, but SINKs would also be welcome.

    Stephanie, I am not interested in those anti-kid type of sites, either.

    Dave, and the winner of the Award for Commenting the Longest Comment Without Actually Saying Anything goes to . . .

    Maria, I’m also not trying to take away from their revenue, just tap into revenue streams that are heretofore unrealized.

    Nina, tell me I’m hot, too.

    Tasses, name change?

    Sheila, it would be open to everyone, but the type of advertising would be geared towards the income spent by DINKs and SINKs.

    Queenie, well, I’m not a fan of making racist stereotypes like that, either. I will agree that BlogHer is very subjective in their decisions, and their arbitrariness is very frustrating.

    Ok Where Was I, you have skills, too. I know because you said “skillz”.

    Foo, DILDOs – I like that one!

  35. B.E. Earl

    “BE Earl, you are always drunk, aren’t you?”

    Would that it were so. Just the past couple of nights, in particular, because of a wedding and the rehearsal dinner the night before. But I’m feeling like I’m on a roll… πŸ˜‰

  36. Dave2

    Uhhh… you?

    The point, which I am spelling out for you here, is that you should absolutely go for it. Like-minded people tend to congregate online as they do in real-life. A DINK is much more likely to be more involved in a DINK blog and be responsive to DINK-directed advertising… a network for which doesn’t exist.

    So, while I find it unfortunate that people rarely tread outside of their circle to see what else the blogosphere has to offer… and organizing blogs into ad groups like BlogHer does will only encourage this further… it makes perfect sense as a business plan.

  37. Winter

    I’m out of my league. The only income in this house has been mine. Maybe there should be something for the true minorities in this world… people who manage to blog while wondering if there will be enough money to pay the cable bill, the light bill, and buy food.

  38. Beth

    I’m a SISK but I still think it sounds like a great idea. I haven’t read all the comments, but it would be nice to see a group of bloggers who don’t feel it necessary to point out the fact that she’s given birth in every post.

  39. Hoosier Girl

    Okay…tell me the truth: I’m not a “mommyblogger”, am I?

    AND, I tried to post a truly brilliant comment yesterday and somehow the Internet ate it. I agree with you. It would be nice to have a blog convention that is for ALL bloggers, in a central location: ie, not California.


  40. Clayjack

    Google “bloghim.”

    Frankly, I think it’s great that there’s a chunk of commerce that isn’t dominated by the white man. And that’s coming from a white man. Just because someone else is at the head table at the big party doesn’t mean others can’t attend. Because it’s titled “BlogHer” doesn’t mean there’s not all kinds of valuable info for people who aren’t mommy bloggers. I saw the itinerary and it looks like there’d be a lot of important blogging topics, especially if you wanted to monetize your blog (which is kind of the point of the convention, right?).

    And I think there’s a piece of the puzzle you may be missing – this gigantic market all orbits around a single thing – kids. Put together a group for DINKs and your focus will look like a Rorschach. There’ll need to be the beemer section, the masturbating smilies section (good luck getting advertisers for that one btw), the I don’t get along in my neighborhood because I don’t have kids section, and on and on.

  41. Hilly

    As a woman who only lasted ONE day at BlogHer, I wholeheartedly agree with the issue of catering to one set of people. I’d be more likely to want to go to an all-inclusive conference but would definitely be wayyyyy more likely to attend a DINKY DILDO conference than another.

  42. Avitable

    BE Earl, it could be a new trend!

    Stephanie, 12? Can you handle 12?

    Xbox, coming up at some point in the near future.

    Dave, I do plan on keeping the circle open so that very few people would be excluded, but your point is very clear.

    Craig, excellent – thanks!

    Winter, well, you already know from the comment I left how I feel about that! I’m sorry you had to take that post down, although I can understand it might have made Motley upset.

    Beth, yup – that would totally be the goal.

    Robin, yeah, I think so!

    HG, no, you’re not. Also, BlogHer moves around. Last year, they were in Chicago, so they’re not always in California. They just like to pick the most expensive cities to host their conventions.

    Clayjack, I think you really missed the point. Did you see the 70-something people before you, mostly women, who don’t like BlogHer? 90% of the BlogHer ads are for diapers and Campbell’s soup and geared towards parents only. The goal for DINKbloggers would be a site for people who either aren’t parents or are parents but they’ve got the disposable income to actually enjoy life a bit, too. The advertising we’d be looking at would be high-end luxury items because the audience would be very likely to purchase those items. You sound like you’re anti- people who don’t have kids, which is pretty shitty.

    Hilly, hah! DINKY DILDO.

    Meg, I read her – I’ll have to check that out. Thanks!

  43. Clayjack

    @Avitable –

    Is it conceivable that your audience is made up of people that align more closely with your demographic,and that that demo may not be as large as the BlogHer demo? Part of what I was trying to say was the DINK demo is likely far more varied than a DINK-focused site could handle, unless you’re getting a few million unique visits a month out of the gate.

    And I’m confused as to how a guy applauding a women-centric event could be deemed a people-hater. Are you unable to absorb a message if it doesn’t come encased in the wrapper of your choice? “77 people agree” doesn’t seem like reason enough for me to crap on the event.

    I don’t see that you have any advertising on this site. I don’t on my blog, either. However, I have other sites that do earn some nice pocket change – it was from that perspective that I was laying out what I would see as monetization hurdles to your idea. My apologies if that didn’t come in the form of a joke or snarkiness. But I will add that managing an online community of thousands (something I do) is way different than just letting fly with whatever acid is in your mouth at the moment – calling other people “shitty” on their first foray into your site will probably give you the chance to grow the new site at a slow, manageable pace.

    Good luck with your venture, and my apologies for stirring the pot.

  44. Avitable

    Clayjack, it had nothing to do with your support of BlogHer. I was merely going by your comment, where you said, “the I don’t get along in my neighborhood because I don’t have kids section”. That gives a pretty clear impression of how you personally categorize people with no kids. That, and “the masturbating smilies section (good luck getting advertisers for that one btw)” – I think you can see how I might feel that I’ve interpreted your words accurately.

    My audience is made up of about 60-70% parents and 90% women, so I would say that my demographic is just as much BlogHer’s as it is any other.

    Finally, I didn’t call you shitty. I called the attitude I perceived from your initial foray onto my blog shitty. That is a big difference – I have good friends who take shitty positions all of the time.

  45. Clayjack

    Yeah, the “kids” one was probably below the belt. My bad. However, I still didn’t have kids when I was your age (30ish, right?), and even 5 or so years later, so I know about living in a neighborhood with kids and not having any, and how that can kind of put you on the outs with many. Thankfully we lived next to a lesbian couple that was shitloads of fun. They didn’t have kids, and in our area all the moms made a point of not making them feel welcome, either. So we’d hang out, drink, and tell stories about our intolerant neighbors.

    But I’m sticking to the masturbating smilies comment. Having sold web advertising to larger companies, I know they get queasy when they think their product identity will be tied to something like smiley faces spanking their monkeys.

  46. martymankins

    As a former DINK, I could see the value of a site like that.

    In a way, I’m a DINK still, since my daughter lives with her mom and both my wife and I work.

    That means I can comment on your new site (when it’s up)

  47. Avitable

    Clayjack, I’d never put those smilies on a professional site. I own a 7-figure national corporation and am very distinctly different in a professional capacity.

    Danalyn, you would be correct!

    Marty, you’d definitely be invited.

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