It's not always about being funny.

Lazy Sunday XLIX

Welcome to the penultimate 49th Edition of Lazy Sunday!

I don’t know if I’m just making these too hard or if everybody’s just really hungover on Sundays recently, but the results were pretty miserable – skip to the end of the post to see the correct answers and last week’s winner.

Anyways, this is the second to last Lazy Sunday contest! That’s right – after giving away over $1000 in prizes (that I paid for myself – I received no sponsorship or freebies for these contests), I’m going to host two more contests, and that’s it!

But these last two are going to be a doozy, and the rules are gonna change.

For this week’s contest, all 15 references are for the same television series, musical artist, or movie. That’s right – all you have to do is figure out one answer!

Since once someone correctly guesses, everybody would be able to easily figure it out, comments are closed. Instead of commenting with your answer, I want you to email me at my first name at my last name dot com. Put the subject line “Lazy Sunday 49” and write your answer in your email.

Each person who emails me by midnight on Tuesday will get a raffle ticket, and I’ll pick one at random to give this week’s prize, which is:

An 8GB iPod touch!

So let’s see how you do, and tune in next Sunday to find out the winners and see what next week’s unbelievable contest will bring!


1. Do you sleep in your bra?
Usually I sleep under my Avitable sheets.

2. Do you enjoy drama?
Only if I can rent it from the vendor between the scanner and the coffee machine.

3. Are you a girly girl?
No, I’m tough, especially if someone shoots me.

4. Do you dress up on Halloween?
I dress up as a woman in a dress, but I keep my cigar and don’t shave.

5. What are you doing right now?
Protecting the chastity of a youngish girl.

6. Have you ever been called a bad influence?
Not if they don’t want their crotches to hurt like a motherfucker.

7. Are you currently frustrated with a guy?
I keep thinking he’s just going to fall asleep on me.

8. Do you have a best friend that’s a guy?
Sort of.

9. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
I had my nose done as a teen.

10. Do you like your life?
I did until I had the special.

11. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Yes, and apparently my good feelings are more than that.

12. Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
I just want to see if my ass is still as big.

13. Recently done anything you regret?
Does self-consumption count?

14. Whats the closest thing to you that’s liquid?
Self-referential yogurt.

15. Are you easily confused?
Yeah. And I take orders from the President way too literally.


And here are the answers and winners from last week’s contest :

First, see how you did by viewing this Google spreadsheet.

Next, here are the questions and answers:

1. Do you have a best friend who knows you inside and out?
I am my own best friend. I like pizza.
Multiplicity

2. Have you ever been punched by the opposite sex?
No, but I almost hooked up with my mom.
Back to the Future

3. What color are the walls in your room?
Well, my wall is more like a pattern. Just like my shirt!
Garden State

4. When is the last time you cried?
When you buried me in the front yard.
Stepbrothers

5. Are you falling for anyone?
Well, I fantasize about my therapist.
The Sopranos

6. Where will you be in an hour?
Going for a haircut, then I’ll probably drop in for a pie.
Sweeney Todd

7. What’s your biggest flaw?
I have a drinking problem. It’s all Elaine’s fault.
Airplane!

8. What do you feel right now?
Other than the earth moving under my feet?
I Feel The Earth Move, by Carole King

9. Have you ever dated anyone longer than a year?
I haven’t dated anyone since my assistant died in 1996. All the rest of my assistants have spurned me or been lesbians.
Law and Order

10. Do you want kids?
As long as they don’t become pen pals with a serial killer.
Problem Child

11. Do you do things you later regret?
I regret wasting every single summer on that damn radio contest.
One Crazy Summer

12. What made you happy today?
Selling museum tickets and my tasty fucking fried chicken.
House of a Thousand Corpses

13. Who was the last friend at your house?
Martha and Rose stopped by.
Doctor Who

14. What were you doing an hour ago?
Fucking the judge’s niece in his house.
Caddyshack

15. Have you ever been in trouble with the police?
I thought I was, but I was just learning a lesson about teaching lessons.
Arrested Development

I can’t believe that nobody guessed that #6 was Sweeney Todd. And #7 was not Seinfeld. It was Airplane! I’ll admit that 9 and 10 were tricky, though. But the rest were easy!

Here’s how I chose the winner:

First, I entered everyone’s answers into a spreadsheet, giving 1 point for each correct answer and 0 points for each wrong answer. The total number of points equaled the person’s “raffle tickets” for the drawing.

Then I created a randomized list using Random.org of every “raffle ticket” – basically each person’s name was repeated as many times as they had right answers. This gave me a random list of 44 entries.

Finally, using Random.org again, I asked it to generate a random integer between 1 and 44. It chose #1.

#1 is my winner.

(drumroll please)

Congratulations to Sybil Law!

You win a $25 gift certificate from Amazon.com! Email me to confirm and give me your name and address. To everyone else, thanks for playing!

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