Clearly, You're Retarded was the radio show with Adam Avitable and Britt Reints


Britt: “I told Jared I’d go see The Dark Knight with him, even though I’ve already seen it. I don’t do well watching movies twice.”
Me: “Don’t do well? What does that even mean?”
Britt: “Pfft. Anyways, we might go see that, or might go see Pineapple Express on Thursday.”
Me: “Why doesn’t he just go to see the movie with Memo? (A married male friend Jared works with)”
Britt: “That’s weird. Men don’t go to the movies together.”
Me: “I go to the movies with friends all the time!”
Britt: “Yeah, but you’re weird. And a little gay.”

So, Internetz, I’m taking a poll:

Men, if your significant other was otherwise busy and there was a movie you wanted to see like Batman or Rambo, would you find it weird to call up a good male friend of yours and see if they’d want to go see it? And if your answer is yes, why?

Women, if your significant other went to go see a movie that you didn’t want to see with a male friend, would you think it’s weird? And if your answer is yes, why?

I’m relying on the power of the Internetz here. Don’t let me down!

Tonight, it’s to the death!

For Episode Five of “Clearly, you’re retarded”, Britt and I will be oral gladiators at 9 PM EST on Talkshoe. The topic tonight is THE DEATH PENALTY – Is it right? Is it good? Are they extra crispy? Join in on the fun by listening live! You can listen live online at, or download the Talkshoe application and you can chat and even call in!

92 thoughts on “Manliness”

  1. My buddy Joseph and I would see movies all the time when we were living close-by each other — for the simple reason that our respective partners didn’t like the same dumb movies that we enjoyed seeing. I mean, “The Dark Knight” is one thing because apparently it’s an amazing film. But a film like “Demolition Man?” There was no way that we were going to see that in the dollar theater with our significant others.

    And we had a blast. And when it was over, the things we did weren’t all-the-way gay…

  2. How apropos! We’re killing someone in Texas tonight!

    I believe he had a problem with thick veins or something, and said that injection was bad because he’s so obese (5’7″ and 265lbs WHATEVER) that they couldn’t be sure to find his vein, and tha would be torture.

  3. Nah….. it’s totally not weird. Why should I waste my time on a movie I don’t like or have already seen when HHH can go with a friend of his. I like to kick him out all the time to go bowling with his brother, or to go to a titty bar with friends from work….. I don’t care, just get out and let me have some peace!!! :boobs4:

  4. I don’t go to movies with guys because they think I am creepy just because I tend to yell out obvious plot turns like, “Rambo is SO going to kick some ass now!! Look! He’s mad! He’s real mad!”

    Also, when it gets a little tense I kind of want to hold somebody’s hand and squeeze it until I feel safe again. But if that doesn’t bother you dude… Damn right I’d go to the movies with you! Eh… can ya lend me a few bucks to cover the tickets and maybe some snacks.

    p.s. did I mention popcorn kind of makes me gassy?

  5. I go to chick flicks with my girlfriends, and my grown son goes to movies with his friends a lot. I don’t like to see movies twice either. I went to see The Dark Knight two times, but the second time was at the IMAX at Pointe Orlando. The IMAX scenes were the ones where the picture goes all of the way to the ceiling. I survived by watching the top of the screen for those parts. My neck, however, didn’t fare as well.

  6. Holy hell…i’d be defrickinlighted if the hubs went to see the stupid boy movies with another male.

    Except I’d prefer if he didn’t see Brokeback Mountain with another guy….i can’t stand the thought of losing him to another man…not again….


    I’m 3 sheets to the wind, man. :martini: :boobs4:

  7. My bro, a baseball star, affable and naturally down with the ladies, beer drinker, etc., goes to see flicks with his equally straighter-than-the-shortest-distance-between-point-A- and-point-B housemate Sean.

    Ian K. N., my enormous mariner fling from Denmark who adores ogling 23 year olds in little cotton sundresses, goes to see flicks with his best bud, or his bro, or the bro’s pal.

    Tim, a favorite ex, rocker guy, former muscle car owner, user of word “schwiinnggg!”, goes to see flicks with not only best bud but other, less than best buds.

    Dude next door, has Amazon gf, looks like Rutger Hauer, just chatted with me about The Dark Knight. He had gone to see it with, you guessed it, his brother in law.

    And those are just the ones I have off the top of my head.

  8. It’s totally normal.

    But, if the theater isn’t full they have to have an open seat between them and they can’t share a bag of popcorn. Wait .. that’s just MY rules. haha

    Seriously though, I don’t see a problem here. I’ve gone to see movies with other dudes many times. I’ve gone by myself lots of times too.

  9. It is decidedly not weird. I do it fairly often myself.

    If a guy is really so insecure that he can’t go see a movie with another guy because someone might jump to the conclusion that he’s gay, he’s really got some issues he needs to be working through instead of going to see a movie.

  10. I’ve never thought of it as weird at all. Most of my friends have always been guys and I’m always up for going to the movies, no matter what the movie. If I couldn’t go because of work, and they (boyfriend or just friend) couldn’t wait to see it, they’d go with another guy friend.

    The last place I worked was pretty social and it wasn’t surprising to find half the company out together drinking together (yeah, like that had nothing to do with work) or whatever. A smaller group of us would also go to the movies about 2 or 3 times a month. I was the only girl that usually went because most of the movies we saw weren’t movies that the other women we worked with wanted to see. On the rare occasion that I couldn’t move my work schedule around, there would be 7 or 8 guys seeing a movie together.

  11. Yeah, Britt is being a bit silly here.

    I have no problem substituing Gia with one of my friends (male or female) when it comes to going to the movies. And I have no problem going alone either. I like seeing a movie with a big tub of popcorn and a $10 soda with a bunch of strangers in the dark, and I don’t really care who is sitting next to me at the time.

    And they shouldn’t mind when I put my hand on their knee. No, not at all.

  12. Not even a little odd. My two best friends hate going to the movies..they just can’t sit still, but their husbands are movie junkies, so they go together all the time. I use to go with them if I wanted to see the movie but it’s not strange at all…I always see two guys together and never think anything off it.

  13. I don’t think it’s weird at all. None of my straight guy friends like horror movies as much as I do, so they go see non-horror movies together without me all the time.

    It’s actually my gay friend who goes with me to see horror movies.

    There’s nothing weird or gay about two dudes seeing a movie together.

  14. My husband goes and sees the movies with buddies that I absolutely refuse to watch, ones with war, blood and guts and freaky aliens that eat people.

    But all is fair, if I rent a sappy chick flick, I watch it alone while he hides in the basement with porn…er…an alien eating people movie.

  15. I would and have seen my SO go to the movies without me by himself and also with other friends.

    It’s just a movie for crying out loud.

    To me it’s not any different than when he would go to the Monster Truck extravaganza or to the car show.

    Britt? Please don’t think ill of me for saying this but you need to come into the 21st century! Let go of your mid-western ideology about men and women!

    Sorry kiddo.

  16. I try to catch a movie once a month or so without my wife. Sometimes I go by myself, and other times I invite my neighbour (married father as well) to go.

    Simple logic: before men were married, did they only see movies on dates? No.

  17. I don’t think it’s weird if a guy and his buddies take in a movie. However, MY guy wouldn’t do that. If there was a movie he wanted to see and he couldn’t get there, he would just wait for the DVD. Or buy a bootleg copy off the “movie man” in the truck stop.

    Just mah two cents,

  18. Monday: “You’re so unsociable. You live like a hermit. Why don’t you see your friends more instead of sitting on the sofa watching TV all the time? You’re turning into a mushroom, and you never talk to your family.”

    Tuesday: “You’re going to the movies with Bill? HAHAHAHAHAHA. gay much?”

  19. I don’t think it’s weird at all. I’ve seen a bunch of movies with my male friends.
    I fact, i once saw two movies on the SAME DAY with the same guy friend.
    Wait, maybe that is crazy.
    have I been wrong all this time ?
    I’m so confused now. I had better drag my wife to see Hellboy II, pronto!

  20. Amanda, but would you think it’s weird? Does your boyfriend think it’s weird?

    Shiny, you guys just came on each other’s chests, right?

    Wayne, I heard about that!

    Blondefabulous, but if he went to a movie instead of a titty bar, would you think it’s strange?

    Y2K, I’ll hold your hand.

    BTDT, I need to go see that on IMAX.

    Kristin, well, she’s not crazy – her husband thought it was weird, too. I was trying to see if maybe if men going to the movies together is regional.

    Stephanie, and you’re still standing after midnight?

    Catherine, what part of the country do you live in? I’m trying to see if this is regional.

    Jay, I always have an open seat, too – it just gives elbow room so you’re not rubbing arms with your friend.

    Jason, it’s not a big deal – she just thought it was weird. Many of the men she knows wouldn’t go to the movies together because they’d think it’s weird.

    Thursday’s Child, you’re a guy??!!?? And it’s not an insecurity thing. It’s just something that they wouldn’t do because it just doesn’t even occur to them and feels weird.

    Penny, do you live in the Midwest?

    Clown, well, yeah. That’s a given.

    Brandon, now you have a daughter to go to movies with you!

    Sassy, yeah, the open seat is just so there’s no touching during the movie.

    Danalyn, I only go by myself if I can’t find anyone else to go with, and only then reluctantly.

    BE Earl, to be fair, I wasn’t asking if her opinion was valid or invalid in any way – just what you would do personally. And you can touch my knee anytime!

    Libragirl, they probably keep that opean seat, though, don’t they?

    Ioma, you’re more of a horror fan than some of your friends? I like you!

    Jennifer, you don’t force him to watch the chick flick so he can hold you and roll his eyes while you cry?

    Bucky, I’ve always thought guys getting together to watch porn was weird, too.

    Poppy, Look Who’s Talking is not a Man Movie!

    Zanthera, but do they make out afterwards?

    Mattie, I’m not judging Britt for thinking it’s weird. She’s not some outdated midwestern hick who needs to be condescendingly talked to about her opinion – her experience with her male friends is simply that they would not go to the movies together because it just isn’t something they do.

    Turnbaby, they, however, were all gay.

    SciFi Dad, I’ll go by myself occasionally, but I usually try to find someone – makes it more interesting to talk about it afterwards.

    HG, maybe it is a regional thing.

    RW, I just can’t see you at the movies at all – that’s what feels weird to me.

    Paticus, well, two movies on the same day with a male friend is officially a date.

    Britt, I forgot to include your gaping amazement at anything “newfangled”, too.

    Metalmom, you’re the one who probably rented “RamButt” later.

    NYCWD, that’s definitely true.

  21. I would not go with a friend, but it has nothing to do with anything being discussed. I would go alone. In fact I would prefer to go alone. I am the ultimate introverted loner. Hide your daughters and your guns.

  22. sorry my dear britt, i’m with adam on this one. it has nothing to do with sexual preference, men can go to the movies with men just as easily as women can go to movies with women. i wouldn’t look twice at two men at rambo or the dark knight just as i wouldn’t look twice at two woman at rambo or the dark knight. perhaps it is because my cousin jane and i saw rambo together (we LOVED sly stallone something fierce back in the 80’s), but i think movies are things that friends do together. whether you are married to your friend or dating your friend or just hanging out with your friend, movies are good times!

  23. My husband goes to movies all the time with his friends. I don’t mind a bit, because it gets me out of having to go see them!!!

    Of course, now if they were going to a chick flick, that would be another story. :sex011:

  24. Patrick would go see movies with a friend of mine’s husband because she and I REFUSED to see things like the “Saw” movies. But we always teased them and said that they had a “Man-Date”. I think there are guys who do it and some who just can’t. I liken it to eating in a restaurant alone. Or maybe going to the movies alone (although I love doing that!)

  25. I don’t really like to go to movies (I already know that is strange, so you don’t have to tell me). My husband does like to go. About a year ago, I discovered that a friend of mine doesn’t like to go to movies either, and her husband does, so we made them start going together. I don’t think it is gay, just makes sense that they would go since they both want to and we don’t. What IS a little gay is that they were going to go to the theater that has the loveseat couches and serves dinner. We didn’t stop them, but did point out that it might look a little weird for them to do that. And we still tease them about their dating relationship every time they go.

  26. My husband sees movies with male friends all the time. I never thought it was weird. If Jared isn’t gay then sitting next to another guy in a movie theater won’t change that.

  27. Oh my God these comments are making me want to stab my eyes out!!

    I don’t think there is anything WRONG with men going to movies together. Logically, it makes perfect sense. But when I suggested it to MY husband, he looked at me like I was crazy.

    I can honestly say I can’t see ANY of the men I know calling up a male friend of theirs and inviting them to the movie.

    Fuck people, I really don’t think my husband is going to “catch the gay” in a movie theater.

  28. I don’t mind going to movies by myself if the need arises and would have gone to see Mama Mia solo if the situation had dictated.

    My buddy Mike and I went to see Wedding Crashers a couple of years ago. We did not, however, sit next to each other. We both have long legs and wanted aisle seats.

  29. I’ve never heard of going to the movies with guy friends being considered gay. Maybe if we all went to see Girl with a Pearl Earring after a makeover and a circle jerk, but a Batman movie? Not at all. I don’t have a reason other than it’s just like sitting around your living room watching TV with your buds and brewskis except the screen is really huge and you have to sneak the beer in.

  30. Hahaha – laughing at Britt…
    My husband probably wouldn’t go with just one guy to the theater, but he’d go with a group or a couple of guys. I don’t think it’s weird at all, but he would (unless it was his dad or whatever)! And if I were to question him on it, he’d completely quote Homer Simpson, I am quite, quite sure.

  31. britt –
    didn’t mean to insinuate that you felt there was something wrong with it. you of all people!
    but i know plenty of guys who go to movies together all the time. some single, some married. they love it…no need to be “on” for their women!

  32. It’s not weird at all. Shawn goes to see what I cal “dude movies” with his guy friends all of the time. I mean, that is what male friends are for, right? Going to see the movies your naggy wife won’t see?

  33. Not only would I be okay with my husband going to see a movie I didn’t want to see with his friends (he better take me if it’s something I want to see though) – I encourage it. I’ll even set the date up if I have to – which I did recently to find out which poor soul was gonna have to sit through UFC with him when they come to town.

    Britt just likes to make you paranoid that everyone knows your secret.

  34. I don’t think it’s weird for men to go to a movie together.

    What IS weird, is when these men leave an empty seat between them. It makes me want to sit in between them.
    What’s up with that? Why do guys do that? My husband and I went to a matinee of the Dark Knight and there were two sets of guys sitting together, each with a sit in between them. So weird

  35. Kris: When we went to see Dark Knight (which I thought they should have ended with Harvey Dent in the hospital, instead of making the movie an hour too long, btw), there was one set of 4 guys in front of us…taking up 8 seats! We always point and laugh at people like that…especially when they can hear us.

  36. It’s only gay if the two guys see “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2” together. Otherwise, why not do dinner as well? I love going on “dates” with my straight guy friends.

  37. Adam/Britt – Sorry, wasn’t trying to judge Britt there. Just used the “a bit silly” line because of the context of the conversation up above.

    I’m often guilty of being a bit silly. It generally feels good. 😉

    But then she says: “I can honestly say I can’t see ANY of the men I know calling up a male friend of theirs and inviting them to the movie.”

    What about Adam? She know you. You are a man (all-man), and you go to the movies with your male friends (as stated in the conversation up top). Or am I missing something there? Or am I just guilty of being too literal?

  38. Yeahhhhh, I don’t count Adam in the group of “men I know”.

    He’s… well.. he’s just Adam. That’s different.

    What I should say is:

    Not my husband, any of my husband’s friends, any of my friends’ husbands, or my Dad or grandfather. Or uncles. Or in-laws.

  39. i’m not answering this question as it suggests an undercurrent of homophobia. jic i run for political office, i don’t want to be on the record as taking a stand on anything meaningful.

    shit, i already wrote “fuck” in my last comment. ok, it’s *not* gay for you to go to the movies with another man as long as (1) you leave a seat in between you and (2) nobody treats anyone to anything. that includes oral sex — something tells me you need that last bit of clarification. and “ass” totally counts as a curse word.

  40. Willie G, wouldn’t you enjoy discussing the movie afterwards with a friend?

    Hello, I was thinking that maybe in the midwest, that just doesn’t happen often.

    Finn, what’s wrong with holding hands?

    Jenni, so I should scrap my plans to go see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 with my male friend?

    Painting Chef, so you shame him after it?

    Radioactivegirl, yes – sitting on a loveseat is not something for two men to do.

    Fiwa, exactly!

    Em, Jared’s not homophobic at all – I wasn’t asking as a way to somehow villify them. I just wanted to see if there are regional differences to this idea.

    Britt, anyone who really thinks that doesn’t read your blog and doesn’t know you at all.

    Delmer, long legs is a bit of an understatement. You’re walking on stilts!

    Grant, she didn’t think it was gay – she was just teasing me about something that she thinks is weird.

    Sybil, he would too? But why?

    SciFi Dad, good point. I almost caught gay at this one theater once.

    Hilly, exactly!

    Robin, he’s as manly as I am.

    Thursday’s Child, I think it’s just the blog theme made me assume you were female. That, and 90% of personal bloggers are female.

    Sheila, UFC? Ugh.

    Kris, an empty seat is nice because you can stretch out without having to worry about touching your friend in a dark theater.

    Penny, okay – I was just trying to figure out regions and wasn’t sure about where you were.

    Danalyn, it’s so you can have your own drink holder and don’t have to worry about touching hands or something. Makes perfect sense.

    Just Beth, wait – I can’t ask my male friend to go with me to the bathroom? Damn.

    Shiny, thanks for passing that on! I’ll make sure to measure next time.

    Beth, that’s interesting, since you’re from Kansas. Hmmm.

    Craig, so, wait. Grabbing food together and a movie is gay, though? Is that what you’re saying?

    BE Earl, I’m in a class of my own. I’m her best girlfriend.

    Britt, so I can’t ask your Dad if he wants to catch a movie next time he’s in town?

    Liquid, yeah, but all of your guy friends make out when we go to the theater.

    Faiqa, I agree about the seat, unless it’s too packed to do that, and oral sex isn’t real sex. It’s just two manly men, having fun, putting each other’s penises in their mouths.

    TMP, what about food and then a movie?

  41. Not gay at all. My gaydar would more likely go off if a man refused to see a movie with his male friends… it’s like, what are you so afraid will happen? Why would it make you uncomfortable unless there’s something about yourself you haven’t come to terms with, ya know.

  42. Um, I don’t know. He’d just think it looked kinda gay. Seriously! (Not to mention that he is also not huge on going to movies, so it would be a big stretch for him to go, anyway.) Now if it’s a GROUP of guys, he’d go. A group of guys would not look gay to him. Which is weird, anyway, ’cause he’ll totally go get food or out to dinner with some guy friend of his. But then again, they’d sit at the bar of the restaurant and eat.
    I don’t know. My man is so neanderthal-ish sometimes.
    I just know he would be highly unlikely to go to the movies with another guy.

  43. Yeah, I thought I was being too literal.

    Weird that this innocuous little post got so many hackles up. Or not. Weird, I mean.

    Probably won’t listen live tonight, but I’m against letting governments execute people. Even though there are a few I’d like to see swing.

  44. haha.. I didn’t think Jared was homophobic or that Britt was worried he’d “catch the gay”. My tone of voice might’ve made that obvious (oooh audio comments!) Really, it’s just never crossed my mind or apparently my husband’s mind that him going to the movies with another guy would be in any way weird. My husband’s not American though so probably makes a difference.

  45. Jay, I think we might have beaten it to death by now, though.

    Stephanie, I’d go see a movie with Jared, and I’d totally play the hole in the popcorn box prank.

    Cat, I’m interested in people to whom it would never even occur – they wouldn’t refuse, but they’d never even think about it, either.

    Sybil, that is weird!

    BE Earl, no, it’s really bizarre that this post got the response it got.

    Heather, I always leave a seat between, too.

    Em, it’s never really crossed my mind that anybody would think that was weird either.

    Gail, what if they’re really big Pierce Brosnan fans?

  46. Rott always goes to horror flicks and stuff about motocross without me. He takes his best friend Curt. In return, Curt takes him to the casinos to see cheesy 70’s classic rock bands. I don’t care, and I don’t think it’s weird. It’s probably more weird that I make him watch Nosferatu and the Wedding Date with me. He doesn’t really like either movie, but he’ll watch them with me if I ask him to.

  47. i’m not sure why it’s any different from calling up a friend and going to the pub.

    having said that, i’d be delighted if mine did something with another guy. he would go by himself. i do not know how we ended up together.

    and i can’t wait to download the next podcast. you guys are doing great. very entertaining. and people have stopped looking at me strangely as i’m listening to it on the bus…

  48. I go to the movies with guy friends from time to time and I’ve never had a problem with it and neither has Katie. In fact, if it gets her out of seeing movies like Star Wars Ep III and Snakes on a Plane, she’s more than happy to let me go with guys. So long as we’re not holding hands, I think it’s pretty safe.

  49. ok, this has been driving me crazy all day, as follow up comments hit my inbox…


    for fuck’s sake people, anyone can see movies. not everyone has a wife or girlfriend. and sometimes, folks just wanna see a fucking movie!

  50. Wow..I hadn’t been here in sooo long I forgot what the place looked like!! Hope you’re doing well Adam. 🙂

    I don’t think it odd at all for men to go to the movies together. Not at all.
    It’s interesting, I remember getting into a discussion with a few people about this exact topic before. It was around the time that BrokeBack Mountain came out.
    I chuckled at this one guy’s take on it, he thought it was completely fine go to to the movies with a good pal, as long as there was the ‘customary open seat’ between ’em!
    Personally I don’t think he was as comfortable with his sexuality as he’d like to portray himself to be. 🙂


  51. My wife has been to the movies with her friend and left us husbands at home and we both have gone to movies without the wives.

    Usually occurs when we want to see movies the other half doesn’t.

  52. I don’t know anyone who worries about the gender of their occasional movie companions or who worries whether some random other might label them ‘weird’ or ‘gay’ based on the gender of their occasional movie companions. If I did, I would probably have to kick them in the genitals.


    With my authentic leather Dickies.

  53. I would think it’s weird that there’d be a movie I wouldn’t want to go and see. But for arguments sake let’s pretend there would be.

    Personally if it’s something I don’t want to do and he has people to do it I don’t care one way or the other. I mean I go with my girl friends all the time why should be different?

  54. Winter, are Rott and Curt fake names?

    Holly, last night’s was a more serious one.

    Kapgar, she didn’t like Star Wars?

    Maria, I agree.

    Hello, because chick flicks are called that because they’re for girls!

    Greeneyezz, it has nothing to do with being comfortable with your sexuality – it’s for comfort – you don’t want to be continuously brushing up against him during the movie.

    Mik, exactly!

    Clayjack, you lost me.

    FWG, that’s so gay.

    Sarah, that was how I saw it.

  55. No, she’s not a SW kinda gal. I’ve been trying. Really I have. She’s watched A New Hope and thought it was cheesy, which it kinda was intended to be in a space cowboy sort of way. But she hasn’t seen any others. I might have to wait until she’s laid up on bed rest some time in the future and just hide the remote.

  56. I always ask first, then if I detect any sort of reluctance, then I play the “well, if you don’t want to go” card.

    If that doesn’t work, then I play the “The last movie you and Betty went to without me” card, which tends to work the best.

  57. Re: your wondering about regionalness: Two of the guys I made examples of are Seattleites, one is Danish and my neighbor is originally from Toronto. I’m originally from Seattle, living currently in L.A.

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