I’M SO EXCITED!
My Davewear finally came! I ordered it years and years ago and have been dreaming about it ever since. It is the coolest, most awesome stuff ever, and if you didn’t order some, you should be sooo jealous.
I got four decks of cards:
I got my awesome black “Try Evil” hat:
I got my awesome white “Do Not Push This Button” t-shirt:
And from now on, I’m not wearing anything BUT my kick-ass new stuff! Thanks, Dave!
Thanks to those of you who listened to Britt and I debate the death penalty. If you missed it, you can download it (and should download it) here, or find it as a podcast through iTunes here, or just listen using the widget in my sidebar. It was quite an hour – can you guess which one of us was pro-death penalty and who was anti?
Humor-Blogs.com shows its balls too.
Enjoy this post? Try these:Ten Honest Things About Me
Abortion Shmashmortion
Drugs
*thump*
That’s me.
Dead.
On the floor.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
oh dear lord
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I almost missed it. Almost. Then I had to do a double-roll of the mouse to realize, holy fucking shit, that is indeed what I saw: one kick ass shirt.
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Did you forget to fluff?
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Um.
Oh my.
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I looked, then I looked away, then I looked again, then I said “IS THAT HIS JUNK????!!!!
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
you are my hero.
seriously.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
:cock:
(sorry, i was so impressed with this post that i forgot to subscribe)
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OMGLOLWOOT!
Hahahahahaha
Is that tile in the shower, or wallpaper?
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Wow, that’s some hat.
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Dude, I did not need to see that. Lucky for you I am fully medicated, or I may have had to sue you for causing me trauma. You should at least pay for my brain bleach. :banghead:
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That’s an awesome camera. Canon S-series?
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Oh. My. Dog.
and balls.
Haha, I like your style, sir. Very bold.
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Where are the decks of cards stashed?!
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
The hats are awesome.
Anyone wanna admit to clicking the last pic?
Okay, I admit it. I did. LOL
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
Besides the fact I just threw up in my mouth… I’m kicking the shit out of my mailman because my awesome gear hasn’t arrived yet.
Nice camera by the way.
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Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
Awwww Amy pulled your balls out of her purse long enough for you to take a picture! How sweet!
:cock:
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Next up on my list… BLOGOGRAPHY BRAND UNDERPANTS!!!
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Thank God, Dave2!
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Holy T-shirt Batman…sweeeet!
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I blame Dave for this.
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First Karl, now you. I have never seen so many collections of JUNK from men other than my husband in such rapid succession. Wow.
Adam, you’ve got balls. I’ll give you that.
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When will I learn not to eat whilst reading blogs?
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I am so totally jealous of your playing cards. I wanted them but at the time I was lacking an income.
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Thanks! I’ve been falling asleep the past 3 hours, just waiting to finish my work so I can get some sleep. I’m awake now.
I’m not sure which was better/worse – seeing half the pic at a time as I was scrolling down, or seeing the whole thing when I scrolled back up to make sure of what I was seeing.
You rock!
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I loved the Britt comment “oh yeah, blah, blah, blah”.
Holy fucking shit. Fair and just and balanced? A law made by someone that is blood thristy and in grief? How about someone who is “closed minded, democrat and an ass”.
My BEST FRIEND, my soul mate, my TWIN, was RAPED, SODIMIZED AND MURDERED in Oklahoma (her name was Elaine Marie Scott and her murder’s name is Alfred Brian Scott if you must check). I have to agree with Adam. If you are proved within a shadow of a doubt that you TOOK A HUMAN LIFE, you should die.
This disgusting fucking pig that admittedly TOOK MY BEST FRIENDS LIFE FOR HIS OWN STUPID (admittedly) GAIN DESERVES TO DIE AND I DO NOT CARE WHAT THE “NORMAL” PEOPLE THINK.
The day that this person is sentenced to DIE, DIE, DIE, is the motherfucking day I dance in the goddamn streets nakkked.
AND I STAND BY IT AND I WILL LIVE WITH IT.
Society as whole? Seriously? Society as a whole is so much better. KILL THIS FUCKER. He raped a 12 year old girl before he raped and murdered my best friend when she was 21.
I am beyond words at this whole discussion, which is based in a huge part (Britt’s part) on ignorance.
So my question is this….if it were YOUR best friend, or your sister, would your opinion change??
I am not for the death penalty on a broad spectrum, but where there is SOOOOO much PHYSCIAL evidence as well as a CONFESSION to the taking a human life, should that person live????
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:poke: <—That is exactly how I felt after seeing that TOTALLY unexpected shot of your nutsack.
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holyjeezuslord. ARE THOSE YOUR BALLS??? please don’t take offense, however…. AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA! that is some FUNNY ASS SHIT! YAY!!!
I love balls! and penis’s (jeezus, too many beers. how does one pluralize penis? peni??? ahahahahahaaaa!!)
xo
b.
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hey, avitable, how do i get my own pic up there, instead of that weird drawing of you?
Not that i don’t adore you, ’cause I do.
xo
b. :boobs3: (i LOVE this smiley!)
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You’ve made my day
I love that the nsfw tag is right at the bottom. Just underneath your junk… :poke:
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Somebody pass me the smelling salts.
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Is that a hair growing out of the end of your beef bayonet ?. May I suggest a trim Sir ?.
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Mmmmmmm…..
I think the T-shirt is a tad too long.
Heyyy???
This one’s kinda hairy too —> :cock:
~ZZ
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I want that hat.
For some reason I took you for a shaver. Guess I was wrong.
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You know I would have linked you if you tol me you were going to do a Half Nekkid Thursday post. :sexytime:
And the comments fucking RAWK!
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to quote one of my favorite movie lines:
“You sir, are an asshole!!”
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@Funtionally ReTodded – Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to call him A Dick than an asshole?
Just Sayin’..
~ZZ
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Twitter: Kapgar
says:
The good thing is I no longer have an appetite. My diet thanks you. Ugh.
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Twitter: _SciFiDad_
says:
@just beth: http://www.gravatar.com/ will tie an image to your email address
2 soap pumps? How many soap pumps does one bathroom need, really?
And was I the only one surprised at how high the button was on the shirt?
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Twitter: whall
says:
I think you should come out with a new line of weight watchers products, but instead of selling food, you can provide a weekly photo of you in nothing but Dave Attire to your subscribers.
A premium membership (hehheh, I said “member”) grants personal delivery of said photo, thus assuring results.
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well, it IS half nekkid thursday after all, isn’t it?
but yeah, not something I wanted to see first thing in the morning….mad props for having the balls (hehe) to post that picture of such a hawt….shirt!
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Well, I’m officially awake. Choking will do that to a person
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Uhm… :cock:
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…Just picked my jaw up off the floor…I had to do a triple take! :cock: Bwahaahaa, got my first laugh in for the day… rarity these days.
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I’m really glad I checked this at home. Now we just need to get Tracy to do a similar picture post.
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Oh my.
I don’t know what’s worse – That you posted this picture or that I felt compelled to stare at it for as long as I did.
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Your next photo should be of you playing with your deck.
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I sure hope the next Davewear item being introduced is a pair of shorts. OH. MAH. GAWD. And to think this is the first blog in my reader this morning, almost makes me want to stop reading for the day.
My eyes. They burn.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
*faints*
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Britt, you’re totally getting teabagged while you’re laying there.
Amanda, you mean “Thank you Jesus”, right?
Undomestic Diva, I know – it’s a great shirt!
Fantasy Writer, my fluffer was dead on the floor – didn’t you see?
Sizzle, hopefully you dreamed about that last night.
LMSS, junk is such a negative term.
Hello, am I the wind beneath your wings?
Sybil, it’s tile.
Karl, it’s sturdy and comfortable, too!
Tracy, you own stock in the brain bleach company now.
Shiny, Sony Cybershot. It’s ooollllld.
Hilly, I wouldn’t quite call it style, per se.
Sheila, shh.
Jay, I appreciate your honesty, and now I have a bit of a semi.
NYCWD, that’s better than throwing up in someone else’s mouth!
Karen, isn’t she nice?
Dave, I can’t wait!
Sheila, hopefully it will be thong underwear.
Foo, I know, right?
BE Earl, blame? You mean cheer loudly, right?
TSM, I did stuff like this before Karl. Go to my sidebar and click on “Letter to My Body” in my Popular Posts section.
Melanie, were you eating meatballs?
Sarah, they’re really cool – I’m sure he’ll sell them again next year.
Penny, at least it wasn’t in high resolution!
Lucy, let’s be fair. When she said “Oh yeah, blah, blah, blah”, she was saying that she knew the whole argument of “What if it was someone who was close to you.” She wasn’t saying that wasn’t a big deal, and in fact she said that she would want to kill the person who did it. I can’t call her ignorant for being against the death penalty even if I agree with you and think that someone like that deserves to die. Why didn’t you call in????
Cyndi, oh, there’s a nutsack?
Just Beth, penii. Oh, and go to http://www.gravatar.com and create an account.
Dee, yeah, I thought that was a nice touch.
Selma, the hat is that cool, isn’t it?
Martin, I think you may be looking way too closely.
Greeneyezz, it seems to fit perfectly.
Jennifer, not after I cut myself.
Turnbaby, shit! I wish I hadn’t posted this on Thursday. Fucking osbasso creeps me out – the whole concept does.
Todd, no, the asshole’s on the other side.
Kapgar, anytime!
SciFi Dad, well, we have the one with the fancy smelling soap that I like and one with the normal blah soap my wife likes.
Whall, that’s genius!
Cissa, yeah, unfortunately.
Crystal, it usually does.
Robin, what? Didn’t you like my shirt?
Krystle, I’m glad. That’s what I live for!
Grant, you mean it wouldn’t be okay to see at work?
Jen, it’s probably saved as your wallpaper now, isn’t it?
Metalmom, you are sooo clevah.
Jenni, stop reading so you can go masturbate? I understand.
Finn, anyone who faints is totally getting teabagged.
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And you could NOT place a warning to NOT open this post at the office at the top?
Yah… thanks…
P.S. my PC froze and I had to restart…
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Did not expect that before I had my coffee this morning. Nope. Not at all.
But it did knock the “What What” tune clear out of my head. Thank you for that.
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Wow… you have some balls don’t ya?
I didn’t listen to the Death penalty talk yet but should it be obvious which of you is for and which is against? It doesn’t seem obvious to me. I’m thinking you are against and she is for… I shall listen and find out!
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
The new A/C seems to be working well…
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:-/
I totally clicked the picture.
I am still not sure I saw what I think I saw.
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Is that a full house or a flush? : )
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Now, that my friends is comedy. :jerkoff2:
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DB, sweetie, how do you not know that my blog should always be considered NSFW?
Elfenkate, who needs coffee after ball pictures?
Em, hope you enjoy the show!
Finn, what are you trying to say, hmm?
Jen, the bottom half of my nutsack?
John, royal flush.
Ajooja, balls to the wall comedy!
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Wow are those your balls? I have two also but they are much bigger for some reason
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There is no smiley for my reaction. And I JUST sent someone new your link.
Does Amy know about this?
J.
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Wow! Looks like you are rarin’ to go for Naked Guitar Hero!
Can you reach the whammy bar with that? :thumbsup:
Shash
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Twitter: mamandesfilles
says:
I agree that “junk” seems negative, which is why I have switched over to “wang”. Unfortunately that would not work as we didn’t see you wang. Maybe next time?
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I think the next thing that Dave should make is pants…
LOL
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this is different from your ‘office’ attire how?
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Good gracious. Hahahahahaha!
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I just showed my husband, and he was like, “Oh HELL NOOOO!”!
Hahahaha
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DUDE! Where did you stick the cards? I really, really hope Dave starts designing underwear.
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One should not log in and hit Avitable’s site first thing in the morning when the eyes have not yet focused and there is not enough vodka in the system. I’m just sayin’…
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Twitter: maria0305
says:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Instead of calling it junk, my son prefers to call it “cash and prizes”.
Is that better?
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I was… REALLY not prepared for that one.
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So tell us how long did you consider over whether to crop the picture or not?
I have soda over my keyboard at work, hurts coming out the nose.
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Woohoo! Manparts! I haven’t seen those in years! It’s my lucky day!
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Do we “Manscape” or were you au natural for that pic?? :lmao:
Nice hat, btw……
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Purty!
I think I got as much amusement out of reading the comments as I did out of the picture. Um, not that the picture was funny or anything. Art… that’s what it is. :thumbsup:
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What, Dave-gear doesn’t turn you on?
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oh … wow
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You know what they say, One man’s junk is another man’s… nope, it’s still just junk.
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Who are Big Jim and the Twins hiding from? Wait, is that a gray hair that I see? *moves face away from the screen*
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Wow, I think this is my first time commenting! Um, WOW! I can’t even get Britt’s site to load on my work computer bc it says it’s “tasteless”, but this came up just fine. Hmmmm.
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Father Bob, do you inject saline into them?
HG, shouldn’t you come to expect this from me?
Shash, I’ll definitely try!
Maman, unlikely, but you never know!
Gemini, or at least a kilt.
Liquid, I’m wearing a hat.
Atomic, why would you laugh at Dave’s cool T-shirt?
Sybil, great. Now he’ll never let you come visit.
Dragon, that’s my secret.
Kris, eyes not focusing might be the best possible scenario, though.
Maria, you’re all sorts of turned on now, aren’t you?
LMSS, I love that!
PaintingChef, are you ever truly prepared for a driveby nutshot?
Mik, didn’t consider in the slightest!
Nina, define “lucky”.
Blondefabulous, I don’t believe in manscaping.
Fiwa, I’m okay with funny art.
Jeff, this was post-coitus t-shirttus.
Crystal, you forgot the exclamation point.
Morning Gruel, “cash and prizes”, not junk. It’s the new phrase.
BTDT, no gray hair! NONE!
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Lori, that Britt. She’s a tasteless bitch who’s never safe for work. Me? I’m harmless!
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LMAO@ Finn’s comment!
I should go to Os’s site and let him know there’s more nekkid to be found *giggling*
And I swear I see a gray hair as well;-)
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
Ow ow! Now that just may have made my day.
(Not sure if that is a good reflection on you or a poor reflection of me.)
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My son stole “cash and prizes” from Dane Cook
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNkOSfW7GhI
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Turnbaby, this is my own invention. Fully Naked Anyday.
Sheila, I’ve tried one on. They’re not comfortable!
LMSS, now you had to go and ruin it. I’ll have to ban that phrase from my memory. Dane Cook is a blight on society.
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ummmm. That sir, was a sac attack.
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Hey, Dane had me laughing on a 3 day drive from MA to FL when I desperately needed to laugh.
You can’t tell me “The Nothing Fight” isn’t funny
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
Holy Mary and mayonnaise packets. I’m utterly speechless, without thought or reason.
Oh, wait. One thought. Lemme squeeze it on out there. YEAH! ‘Kay. Here ’tis:
WAX, MAN! WAX THOSE FUCKERS! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS RON JEREMY!
That is all.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
cmgd just cracked me the fuck up!
i thought “Holy Mary and mayonnaise packets” was the greatest thing i had heard in a long time, then she finishes up with “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS RON JEREMY!”
my sides hurt from laughing.
and i am so stealing the ron jeremy comment. i vow that i will use it three times before leaving here today and another seven tomorrow alone. bring on the weekend!
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I posted a picture of myself in my shirt yesterday. I didn’t think to do it half naked though. What was I thinking?
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Just a beautiful representation of the male form! Well done sir!
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Dude! you got balls… no seriously. :lmao:
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Sassy, just don’t confuse it with a snack attack and we’ll be okay.
LMSS, yelling things and repeating them over and over again doesn’t make them funny. I wish he would die.
Heather, wanna come wax them for me?
Hello, that is a great line. I’m stealing it too.
Radioactivegirl, you should re-do it.
Bec, the male wrinkly, hairy form.
Mindy, nah, you must be seeing things.
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
And here I thought that displaying your sac on the internet was the greatest thing you could ever do. Knowing that someone in this world hates Dane Cook as much as I do, and for the same reason, makes me a gushy inside.
:heartbeat:
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Sack attack? Don’t they sell those at KFC?
Extra-fuzzy? (EW!)
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davewear? as in http://www.davewear.com ?
have a nice dave
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Sheila, I just wish everybody felt that way!
Kris, with special baby batter inside!
Dave, well, more like Dave2wear, I guess!
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it’s all good
any dave above ground is a good dave
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You know…you are so right. I should have come to expect this kind of thing from you by now. My older kids would really think my internet friends are weird if they saw this. :sex023:
You are truly amazing…in more ways than one.
J.
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I have to admit, I am not speechless 99% of the time…I do believe I have found the 1% that renders me that. Thanks for sharing!!
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Infamous orange bathroom. hehehehehehe
Last night Dawg told me this post was something I should avoid so since last night I’ve been thinking today’s post was about body modification or animal mutilation. Then just now he explained to me what your post was about. Shoulda known it was just you taking naked pictures of yourself.
Our stuff is on the way! Wheeeeee!
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Well . . . that was unexpected.
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Dave, all in a Dave’s work.
HG, until they met me. Then, they’d KNOW I was weird.
Becky, I’m good at that.
Poppy, he thought THIS would upset you? I knew you’d just laugh.
Stacey, really? Because on this blog, I think it’s pretty much expected.
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They frown on masturbation at work, so it’s good I stayed home today. Can you add bunny ears to complete the outfit?
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Snicker, snicker, snort. Hee hee. Why did I never peg you as a man who’d show his junk to the internet? I gotta stop being so narrowminded I guess.
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Grant, you don’t have Photoshop?
Winter, you haven’t been reading me quite that long, have you? Have you seen this post: http://www.avitable.com/2008/02/27/a-letter-to-my-body/
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Um…yeah.
Wow.
I need a Handi-Wipe for my brain.
@Dave2…..can you pleasefortheloveofallthatisgoodandholy start manufacturing underwear for shits sake????
:poke:
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My eyes! My eyes!
Where’s the mayo?
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**blink**
*Blink*
Wow.
I was all set to offer some sweet comment about how I loved the playing cards, and…
and…
Please pardon me for a moment; I think my brain’s still twitching.
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Shit. I just read this minutes before I am to go to bed. My night is fucked.
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Stephanie, I can print it out and send you that photo as a poster if you want.
Kimberly, well, it’s kind of like mayo, but not quite as sweet tasting.
Janna, ha! I made Janna’s brain twitch!
Brandon, have sweet dreams and let me dance, balls hanging free, through your subconscious.
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Um…no thanks.
I am afraid that I will now dream of hairy balls chasing me in the style of the Indiana Jones movie.
Thanks Adam.
:sex014:
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The best thing about this post is all of the places this post will lead us. You know, you have to do more and more and get a lot more extreme to get the same shock value.
Looking forward to seeing what you’ll do next!
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All your tighty whities were in the laundry, huh?
:boobs2:
I LOVE the Try Evil hats! OMG, I just have to have some!!!!
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Stephanie, any time!
Jason, I know. I’m kind of scared about where I can go from here.
Evil Genius, I’m a boxer brief man myself. But I said I was only going to wear Dave’s stuff from now on!
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It takes balls to show a picture like that… oh… it REALLY did take balls… ok. Your safe.
I got my Blogography goods this week, too. Love the shirt and nice that Dave included a couple extra deck of cards.
I’m with Dave… make boxers available next year. I’ll buy two pair just for Adam to wear.
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God. I’m a fuckin’ idiot.
Never open Adam’s links and NEVER read his site with child looking over my shoulder. Thankfully I scrolled past fast enough.
Fuck.
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Marty, I’m a freeballin’ man.
Sam, it’s about time for your child to learn about hairy nutsacks, isn’t it?
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I also had to do a double take…Oh wow…
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You would think I’d have learned by now NOT to read this site while at work. Yeesh.
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OMG. I saw your penis!
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Holly, is “wow” a good thing or a bad thing?
Laura, testicles aren’t safe for work?
Gina, no penis – just the brain.
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I like these hats.
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