I'M SO EXCITED!
My Davewear finally came! I ordered it years and years ago and have been dreaming about it ever since. It is the coolest, most awesome stuff ever, and if you didn't order some, you should be sooo jealous.
I got four decks of cards:
I got my awesome black "Try Evil" hat:
I got my awesome white "Do Not Push This Button" t-shirt:
And from now on, I'm not wearing anything BUT my kick-ass new stuff! Thanks, Dave!
Thanks to those of you who listened to Britt and I debate the death penalty. If you missed it, you can download it (and should download it) here, or find it as a podcast through iTunes here, or just listen using the widget in my sidebar. It was quite an hour - can you guess which one of us was pro-death penalty and who was anti?
Humor-Blogs.com shows its balls too.
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
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*thump*
That's me.
Dead.
On the floor.
Comments by Miss Britt
oh dear lord
Comments by Amanda
I almost missed it. Almost. Then I had to do a double-roll of the mouse to realize, holy fucking shit, that is indeed what I saw: one kick ass shirt.
Comments by Undomestic Diva
Did you forget to fluff?
Comments by Fantasy Writer Guy
Um.
Oh my.
Comments by sizzle
I looked, then I looked away, then I looked again, then I said "IS THAT HIS JUNK????!!!!
Comments by Little Miss Sunshine State
you are my hero.
seriously.
Comments by hello haha narf
(sorry, i was so impressed with this post that i forgot to subscribe)
Comments by hello haha narf
OMGLOLWOOT!
Hahahahahaha
Is that tile in the shower, or wallpaper?
Comments by Sybil Law
Wow, that's some hat.
Comments by Karl
Dude, I did not need to see that. Lucky for you I am fully medicated, or I may have had to sue you for causing me trauma. You should at least pay for my brain bleach.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
That's an awesome camera. Canon S-series?
Comments by shiny
Oh. My. Dog.
and balls.
Haha, I like your style, sir. Very bold.
Comments by Hilly
Where are the decks of cards stashed?!
Comments by Sheila
The hats are awesome.
Anyone wanna admit to clicking the last pic?
Okay, I admit it. I did. LOL
Comments by Jay
Besides the fact I just threw up in my mouth... I'm kicking the shit out of my mailman because my awesome gear hasn't arrived yet.
Nice camera by the way.
Comments by NYCWD
Awwww Amy pulled your balls out of her purse long enough for you to take a picture! How sweet!
Comments by Karen Sugarpants
Next up on my list... BLOGOGRAPHY BRAND UNDERPANTS!!!
Comments by Dave2
Thank God, Dave2!
Comments by Sheila
Holy T-shirt Batman...sweeeet!
Comments by Foo
I blame Dave for this.
Comments by B.E. Earl
First Karl, now you. I have never seen so many collections of JUNK from men other than my husband in such rapid succession. Wow.
Adam, you've got balls. I'll give you that.
Comments by TSM
When will I learn not to eat whilst reading blogs?
Comments by melanie
I am so totally jealous of your playing cards. I wanted them but at the time I was lacking an income.
Comments by Sarah
Thanks! I've been falling asleep the past 3 hours, just waiting to finish my work so I can get some sleep. I'm awake now.
I'm not sure which was better/worse - seeing half the pic at a time as I was scrolling down, or seeing the whole thing when I scrolled back up to make sure of what I was seeing.
You rock!
Comments by penny
I loved the Britt comment "oh yeah, blah, blah, blah".
Holy fucking shit. Fair and just and balanced? A law made by someone that is blood thristy and in grief? How about someone who is "closed minded, democrat and an ass".
My BEST FRIEND, my soul mate, my TWIN, was RAPED, SODIMIZED AND MURDERED in Oklahoma (her name was Elaine Marie Scott and her murder's name is Alfred Brian Scott if you must check). I have to agree with Adam. If you are proved within a shadow of a doubt that you TOOK A HUMAN LIFE, you should die.
This disgusting fucking pig that admittedly TOOK MY BEST FRIENDS LIFE FOR HIS OWN STUPID (admittedly) GAIN DESERVES TO DIE AND I DO NOT CARE WHAT THE "NORMAL" PEOPLE THINK.
The day that this person is sentenced to DIE, DIE, DIE, is the motherfucking day I dance in the goddamn streets nakkked.
AND I STAND BY IT AND I WILL LIVE WITH IT.
Society as whole? Seriously? Society as a whole is so much better. KILL THIS FUCKER. He raped a 12 year old girl before he raped and murdered my best friend when she was 21.
I am beyond words at this whole discussion, which is based in a huge part (Britt's part) on ignorance.
So my question is this....if it were YOUR best friend, or your sister, would your opinion change??
I am not for the death penalty on a broad spectrum, but where there is SOOOOO much PHYSCIAL evidence as well as a CONFESSION to the taking a human life, should that person live????
Comments by Lucy
Comments by Cyndi
holyjeezuslord. ARE THOSE YOUR BALLS??? please don't take offense, however.... AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA! that is some FUNNY ASS SHIT! YAY!!!
I love balls! and penis's (jeezus, too many beers. how does one pluralize penis? peni??? ahahahahahaaaa!!)
xo
b.
Comments by just beth
hey, avitable, how do i get my own pic up there, instead of that weird drawing of you?
Not that i don't adore you, 'cause I do.
xo
b.
(i LOVE this smiley!)
Comments by just beth
You've made my day :D I love that the nsfw tag is right at the bottom. Just underneath your junk...
Comments by Dee
Somebody pass me the smelling salts.
Comments by Selma
Is that a hair growing out of the end of your beef bayonet ?. May I suggest a trim Sir ?.
Comments by martin
Mmmmmmm.....
I think the T-shirt is a tad too long.
Heyyy???
This one's kinda hairy too —>
:)
~ZZ
Comments by Greeneyezz
I want that hat.
For some reason I took you for a shaver. Guess I was wrong.
Comments by Jennifer
You know I would have linked you if you tol me you were going to do a Half Nekkid Thursday post.
And the comments fucking RAWK!
Comments by Turnbaby
to quote one of my favorite movie lines:
"You sir, are an asshole!!"
Comments by Functionally ReTodded
@Funtionally ReTodded - Wouldn't it be more appropriate to call him A Dick than an asshole?
Just Sayin'..
:)
~ZZ
Comments by Greeneyezz
The good thing is I no longer have an appetite. My diet thanks you. Ugh.
Comments by kapgar
@just beth: http://www.gravatar.com/ will tie an image to your email address
2 soap pumps? How many soap pumps does one bathroom need, really?
And was I the only one surprised at how high the button was on the shirt?
Comments by SciFi Dad
I think you should come out with a new line of weight watchers products, but instead of selling food, you can provide a weekly photo of you in nothing but Dave Attire to your subscribers.
A premium membership (hehheh, I said "member") grants personal delivery of said photo, thus assuring results.
Comments by whall
well, it IS half nekkid thursday after all, isn't it?
but yeah, not something I wanted to see first thing in the morning....mad props for having the balls (hehe) to post that picture of such a hawt....shirt!
Comments by Cissa Fireheart
Well, I'm officially awake. Choking will do that to a person
Comments by Crystal
Uhm...
Comments by Robin
...Just picked my jaw up off the floor...I had to do a triple take!
Bwahaahaa, got my first laugh in for the day... rarity these days.
Comments by Krystle
I'm really glad I checked this at home. Now we just need to get Tracy to do a similar picture post.
Comments by Grant
Oh my.
I don't know what's worse - That you posted this picture or that I felt compelled to stare at it for as long as I did.
Comments by Jen
Your next photo should be of you playing with your deck.
Comments by metalmom
I sure hope the next Davewear item being introduced is a pair of shorts. OH. MAH. GAWD. And to think this is the first blog in my reader this morning, almost makes me want to stop reading for the day.
My eyes. They burn.
Comments by Jenni
*faints*
Comments by Finn
Britt, you're totally getting teabagged while you're laying there.
Amanda, you mean "Thank you Jesus", right?
Undomestic Diva, I know - it's a great shirt!
Fantasy Writer, my fluffer was dead on the floor - didn't you see?
Sizzle, hopefully you dreamed about that last night.
LMSS, junk is such a negative term.
Hello, am I the wind beneath your wings?
Sybil, it's tile.
Karl, it's sturdy and comfortable, too!
Tracy, you own stock in the brain bleach company now.
Shiny, Sony Cybershot. It's ooollllld.
Hilly, I wouldn't quite call it style, per se.
Sheila, shh.
Jay, I appreciate your honesty, and now I have a bit of a semi.
NYCWD, that's better than throwing up in someone else's mouth!
Karen, isn't she nice?
Dave, I can't wait!
Sheila, hopefully it will be thong underwear.
Foo, I know, right?
BE Earl, blame? You mean cheer loudly, right?
TSM, I did stuff like this before Karl. Go to my sidebar and click on "Letter to My Body" in my Popular Posts section.
Melanie, were you eating meatballs?
Sarah, they're really cool - I'm sure he'll sell them again next year.
Penny, at least it wasn't in high resolution!
Lucy, let's be fair. When she said "Oh yeah, blah, blah, blah", she was saying that she knew the whole argument of "What if it was someone who was close to you." She wasn't saying that wasn't a big deal, and in fact she said that she would want to kill the person who did it. I can't call her ignorant for being against the death penalty even if I agree with you and think that someone like that deserves to die. Why didn't you call in????
Cyndi, oh, there's a nutsack?
Just Beth, penii. Oh, and go to http://www.gravatar.com and create an account.
Dee, yeah, I thought that was a nice touch.
Selma, the hat is that cool, isn't it?
Martin, I think you may be looking way too closely.
Greeneyezz, it seems to fit perfectly.
Jennifer, not after I cut myself.
Turnbaby, shit! I wish I hadn't posted this on Thursday. Fucking osbasso creeps me out - the whole concept does.
Todd, no, the asshole's on the other side.
Kapgar, anytime!
SciFi Dad, well, we have the one with the fancy smelling soap that I like and one with the normal blah soap my wife likes.
Whall, that's genius!
Cissa, yeah, unfortunately.
Crystal, it usually does.
Robin, what? Didn't you like my shirt?
Krystle, I'm glad. That's what I live for!
Grant, you mean it wouldn't be okay to see at work?
Jen, it's probably saved as your wallpaper now, isn't it?
Metalmom, you are sooo clevah.
Jenni, stop reading so you can go masturbate? I understand.
Finn, anyone who faints is totally getting teabagged.
Comments by Avitable
And you could NOT place a warning to NOT open this post at the office at the top?
Yah... thanks...
P.S. my PC froze and I had to restart...
Comments by DutchBitch
Did not expect that before I had my coffee this morning. Nope. Not at all.
But it did knock the "What What" tune clear out of my head. Thank you for that.
Comments by elfenkate
Wow... you have some balls don't ya?
I didn't listen to the Death penalty talk yet but should it be obvious which of you is for and which is against? It doesn't seem obvious to me. I'm thinking you are against and she is for... I shall listen and find out!
Comments by Em
The new A/C seems to be working well...
Comments by Finn
:-/
I totally clicked the picture.
I am still not sure I saw what I think I saw.
Comments by Jen, South Florida
Is that a full house or a flush? : )
Comments by John
Now, that my friends is comedy.
Comments by ajooja
DB, sweetie, how do you not know that my blog should always be considered NSFW? :D
Elfenkate, who needs coffee after ball pictures?
Em, hope you enjoy the show!
Finn, what are you trying to say, hmm?
Jen, the bottom half of my nutsack?
John, royal flush.
Ajooja, balls to the wall comedy!
Comments by Avitable
Wow are those your balls? I have two also but they are much bigger for some reason
Comments by Father Bob
There is no smiley for my reaction. And I JUST sent someone new your link.
Does Amy know about this?
J.
Comments by Hoosier Girl
Wow! Looks like you are rarin' to go for Naked Guitar Hero!
Can you reach the whammy bar with that?
Shash
Comments by Shash
I agree that "junk" seems negative, which is why I have switched over to "wang". Unfortunately that would not work as we didn't see you wang. Maybe next time?
Comments by Maman
I think the next thing that Dave should make is pants...
LOL ;)
Comments by gemini
this is different from your 'office' attire how?
Comments by liquid
Good gracious. Hahahahahaha!
Comments by Atomic Bombshell
I just showed my husband, and he was like, "Oh HELL NOOOO!"!
Hahahaha
Comments by Sybil Law
DUDE! Where did you stick the cards? I really, really hope Dave starts designing underwear.
Comments by Dragon
One should not log in and hit Avitable's site first thing in the morning when the eyes have not yet focused and there is not enough vodka in the system. I'm just sayin'...
Comments by Kris
Comments by Maria
Instead of calling it junk, my son prefers to call it "cash and prizes".
Is that better?
Comments by Little Miss Sunshine State
I was... REALLY not prepared for that one.
Comments by PaintingChef
So tell us how long did you consider over whether to crop the picture or not?
I have soda over my keyboard at work, hurts coming out the nose.
Comments by Mik
Woohoo! Manparts! I haven't seen those in years! It's my lucky day!
Comments by Nina
Do we "Manscape" or were you au natural for that pic??
Nice hat, btw......
Comments by blondefabulous
Purty!
I think I got as much amusement out of reading the comments as I did out of the picture. Um, not that the picture was funny or anything. Art... that's what it is.
Comments by fiwa
What, Dave-gear doesn't turn you on?
Comments by Jeff
oh ... wow
Comments by Crys
You know what they say, One man's junk is another man's... nope, it's still just junk.
Comments by morning gruel
Who are Big Jim and the Twins hiding from? Wait, is that a gray hair that I see? *moves face away from the screen*
Comments by Been there Done that
Wow, I think this is my first time commenting! Um, WOW! I can't even get Britt's site to load on my work computer bc it says it's "tasteless", but this came up just fine. Hmmmm.
Comments by Lori
Father Bob, do you inject saline into them?
HG, shouldn't you come to expect this from me?
Shash, I'll definitely try!
Maman, unlikely, but you never know!
Gemini, or at least a kilt.
Liquid, I'm wearing a hat.
Atomic, why would you laugh at Dave's cool T-shirt?
Sybil, great. Now he'll never let you come visit.
Dragon, that's my secret.
Kris, eyes not focusing might be the best possible scenario, though.
Maria, you're all sorts of turned on now, aren't you?
LMSS, I love that!
PaintingChef, are you ever truly prepared for a driveby nutshot?
Mik, didn't consider in the slightest!
Nina, define "lucky".
Blondefabulous, I don't believe in manscaping.
Fiwa, I'm okay with funny art.
Jeff, this was post-coitus t-shirttus.
Crystal, you forgot the exclamation point.
Morning Gruel, "cash and prizes", not junk. It's the new phrase.
BTDT, no gray hair! NONE!
Comments by Avitable
Lori, that Britt. She's a tasteless bitch who's never safe for work. Me? I'm harmless!
Comments by Avitable
LMAO@ Finn's comment!
I should go to Os's site and let him know there's more nekkid to be found *giggling*
And I swear I see a gray hair as well;-)
Comments by turnbaby
Ow ow! Now that just may have made my day.
(Not sure if that is a good reflection on you or a poor reflection of me.)
Comments by Sheila (Charm School Reject)
My son stole "cash and prizes" from Dane Cook
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNkOSfW7GhI
Comments by Little Miss Sunshine State
Turnbaby, this is my own invention. Fully Naked Anyday.
Sheila, I've tried one on. They're not comfortable!
LMSS, now you had to go and ruin it. I'll have to ban that phrase from my memory. Dane Cook is a blight on society.
Comments by Avitable