Did I happen to mention that I'm having a huge, kick-ass Halloween party that all of you are invited to attend? Well, just in case you've been living in a cave for the last three months, I have been preparing for this party since June, along with some friends. We've been building props and creating designs and getting splinters and almost cutting our fingers off and putting monkeys in boxes.
I know I've been promising an announcement with regards to the Halloween party, including the theme and some cool extras I'm doing for people who might not be able to attend. Well, I always keep my promises. Click through to get all the juicy details!
On November 1st, 2008, from 8 PM EST until the clowns come home, in Altamonte Springs, Florida, the Avitables proudly present:
As some of you may remember, way back in May I solicited Internet Assvice on the best way to offset costs for the party. I don't expect the party to be subsidized by my guests - I just want to keep my budget to around $3,000 or less. There were a lot of good suggestions, and while plenty of people seemed okay with the idea of a drink bracelet or drink tickets, in the end I decided that was going to be too much of a hassle to be worth the cost it would offset.
What would be a good way to let everyone get involved who wants to be, even if they can't come? How can I bring some of the party to them and still achieve my goal of making the party affordable enough to open it up to the whole wide blogospherocentrocity?
Each T-shirt is a unique, custom design and a percentage of each sale goes into the Avitable Halloween Party Fund. And you have four to choose from!
First, we have our take on the classic "Golden Ticket" - except where Charlie Bucket's Golden Ticket promised a life of chocolate from Willy Wonka, The Neverwas Fair Ticket promises a life of horror and despair, or maybe an end to life itself.
The next shirt we have features some of the main attractions to The Neverwas Fair. The menacing master of ceremonies, the dangerous dog-faced boy, the melancholy killer clown. Won't you come in and watch the show?
Our third shirt was designed by yours truly. With my signature chicken-scratch art and horribly proportioned figures, by purchasing this design, you can show your appreciation for the art of "special" people. Anyone will assume that you bought the shirt out of charity, or maybe lost a bet. What could be better?
Finally, for the first time ever, I have an exclusive limited design shirt that has been designed by none other than Dave2 from Blogography! This is a unique design drawn specifically for this shirt, and after these shirts are all gone, it will never be seen again! Since this is a special, limited edition, the price is higher, but isn't it worth it to be walking around in a piece of contemporary art? And while all of those Blogography fans are walking around with their Artificial Duck T-shirts, you can show that you're a real fan.
Wow, Adam, those are so cool! I'm going to buy four of each! Is there anything else that you want to tell us?
Oh, is there.
The next announcement is about YOUR role in this party. I want anyone who is thinking of coming or wants to come or doesn't want to come but wants to be involved to email me a picture of yourself. I'd prefer a picture of you as a child, baby, or young teen, and a headshot or Glamour Shot or yearbook picture would do. If you have to scan something, scan it at 300 DPI and email it to me. If you want to mail me the picture so I can scan it, email me, and I'll send you a postage paid envelope. But for this part of the party to really work, I NEED PHOTOS! And that way, even if you can't attend, you are helping to make this party an amazing, one-of-a-kind event.
That's awesome, Adam! I'm going to email you with my photo right now! Do you have any more announcements?
Only the biggest, coolest announcement yet!
How about a raffle? $7.00 gets you one ticket, and you can buy as many tickets as you'd like.
What can you win? Well, First Prize is one of each four T-shirt designs. Second Prize is your choice of two T-shirt designs. Third Prize is your choice of one T-shirt design. Fourth Prize is a kick in the crotch. But that's not all.
If I sell 100 or more raffle tickets, we will also draw a Grand Prize winner. The Grand Prize winner will win a round-trip flight to Orlando, FL, for the night of the Halloween Party! The only condition is that the flight has to cost $350 or less, and cannot be exchanged for cash or any other prize.
You can also buy your raffle ticket on someone else's behalf. In the form below, just put your name or the name of the person you're "sponsoring". And if you sponsor someone who wins a prize, you'll also win a free T-shirt! Void where prohibited by law.
(If the button doesn't appear, click here.)
So, in summary:
1. Buy T-shirts. T-shirts are good.
2. Send photos of yourself. You'll have fun with the results, I promise.
3. Buy raffle tickets. Sponsor someone. Ask someone to sponsor you. Post about it on your blog - win a plane ticket!
4. The raffle will be open until Saturday, September 20th, and the winners will be revealed on Sunday, September 21st. The T-shirts will be available until October 1st and then they will disappear forever!
Any questions?
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
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I've heard buzz for months that this party is the event of the season...
Comments by Neil
WTF?!?!?! I live in So. Ca. You bitch.
Comments by Undomestic Diva
Ummm... is Murder Clown actually going to be attending the event then?
Comments by Dave2
OMG. I really need the Dave2 and the Murder Clown shirt. Fuck yeah, I'll support the Avitable Party, even though I can not join you.
Comments by Tracy Lynn
I never imagined my birthday could inspire so much amazing stuff! Love the shirts. Love the ideas. Will defo send you a photo. I bet it's an awesome party!
Comments by Winter
OMG!
I am so excited!!
Please hope that my husband gets this new job so I can come down for the party!
Either way, I am SO ordering a tee shirt. Do they come in small?!
Also, I am so going to put this (or a link to it) on my blog.
Also, I emailed you a picture, right? Do you need another one?
Um... if I come up with more questions, I will harass you in chat.
Haha
Comments by Sybil Law
This is MUCH better than the
post.
Comments by NYCWD
(sigh)
I'll be in Orlando like, the week before your fabulous-o party. Is there any chance you could get ESPN to do a pre-party special? You know, so that there will be guaranteed action starting three days in advance that I can get in on?
Comments by Steph
I'm so there. It's about time you announced the damn theme. Keeping my mouth shut has been torturous. Glad the raffle is open for a while. I'm broke till next month. How long do we have to buy the shirts?
Comments by Karl
day-am!~ thats some sweet ass shit!
Comments by bluepaintred
I want one of each! Well, except for the kick in the crotch. Although I'd take that, too, if it comes with a t-shirt.
Comments by penny
I love the t-shirts, especially the second one and Davetoon's with the Siamese, I mean, conjoined twins.
It's too bad I can't come to the party - you guys could've used a contortionist.
Comments by Ioma
Is that the Enigma from the X-Files on the Dave-designed shirt? Nice.
And who did the artwork for the second shirt?
Comments by B.E. Earl
Way too cool! I shall make announcements and send photos and all that good shit... soon. But I cannot make it to the party otherwise. Sad.
Comments by kapgar
I think someone should sponsor Sybil.
Comments by Miss Britt
i am so fucking stoked for this insanity. yes, i will buy shirts and raffle tickets and everything. SO excited.
damn, i gotta go digging through photos. i'll find something...
Comments by hello haha narf
I looooove the golden ticket shirt.
I have no questions, just answers.
Perhaps we should maybe start planning our flight and accomodations for the party. heh.
Comments by Poppy
Holy Crap....wow, that's all I can say....
I am buying a t-shirt, and a couple raffle tickets, even if I can't go...maybe I will win the grand prize! LMAO
Comments by Cissa Fireheart
Hmm..which shirt do I want?? Raffle tickets..okay..pictures...hmm...why do I get the feeling I may be sorry if I send a picture?
Comments by trishk
Looks awesome! Reminds me of HHN's from the past. I'll have to save up after the schools get done rapeing my wallet this year and get some t-shirts!
Comments by blondefabulous
that'll do, pig. that'll do.
Comments by whall
I LOVE WHALL.
Comments by hello haha narf
Comments by Glenda
I love the ticket t and will be ordering. And a picture will be on its way.
What the hell am I going to wear? I've to to start planning!
Comments by Finn
Mother fucker! A dingo ate my first comment!
I think I said that you are fucking cool for doing all of this and that I already know my costume! Pics on the way...
Comments by Hilly
Well now I still can't say been there done that but I can say GOT THE SHIRT!!!!
Is that pathetic?
Comments by Kay
fabulous — now i have all the details! will send you a picture (do you prefer little kid pics MOST OF ALL? because it's not like i don't have 3000029309019384 million pictures of myself
Comments by Crys
Let me get this straight....I can buy a tee shirt? The tee shirts are for sale? I can exchange currency for clothing?
Comments by metalmom
@MetalMom - I'm pretty sure you can get currency in exchange for removing your clothes..
Comments by bluepaintred
Or even currency to keep your clothes on for some people!
Comments by Mik
I love it! It could have no other outcome than completely awesome. I love the raffle idea, you really are smart aren't you? I hope I can come!
Comments by Beth
Oh crap! Oh crap! I so need to come! Shit, fuck, motherfucker, cocksucker, tits, and damn. I sooooo want to come. I can drive! But the kids? Convincing Ty-man that he has to babysit for the weekend while I'm off partying? Not gonna happen. Blech. But getting a t-shirt/raffle ticket? That will most certainly happen!
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
I agree with NYCWD.
Great idea with the raffle. I was going to enter, but I had this weird premonition about being kicked in the crotch by a gorilla...
Comments by Nobody™
Neil, it would totally be worth traveling down from NY.
Undomestic Diva, buy a raffle ticket - maybe you'll win a roundtrip ticket!
Dave2, no, but there might be a few other clowns there. You love clowns, don't you?
Tracy, get some people to sponsor you in the raffle and maybe you'll get to come!
Winter, well, it's an awesome birthday!
Sybil, you should definitely order some T-shirts and make sure to buy a few raffle tickets!
NYCWD, ya think?
Steph, can't you extend your visit for a few days?
Karl, the shirts are available until October 1st.
BPR, you know you want a few shirts, too.
Penny, it's a loving kick.
Ioma, why can't you come?
BE Earl, it is Enigma, yup. The second shirt was designed by a friend and local artist, Liquid.
Kapgar, (maybe Katie will let you come if you win the raffle!)
Britt, I agree!
Hellohahanarf, just a good kid's shot will work.
Poppy, yes you should, although I'll have hotel news in the near future, too.
Cissa Fireheart, that's why we have a grand prize, so someone who otherwise couldn't go will be able to.
TrishK, you won't be sorry, I promise. You'll like what happens.
Blondefabulous, you're going to drive up for the party, too, right?
Whall, did you just call me babe?
Hello, he's pretty awesome for a Republican.
Glenda, awesome!
Finn, costumes are mandatory!
Hilly, thanks - that's a good picture. Now just buy some shirts! :)
Kay, not in the slightest. That's why I'm doing it.
Crystal, I do prefer pictures of you as a young teen or younger. You'll see.
Metalmom, hmm, are you being sarcastic?
BPR, that's true, too.
Mik, somebody wants to pay me to stay clothed?
Beth, I'm not that smart, but I pretend well.
Heather, of course it's going to happen. He'll let you. Everybody you love is going to be here. Let me talk to him.
Nobody, what if it was a dainty kick with the naked foot of a hot blonde girl?
Comments by Avitable
AWESOME. This sounds like the biggest personal production Halloween party in history! I'll see what photo I can dig up for you and send.
Comments by John
No heaven and earth for you!
Comments by Clown
All of this sounds so awesome. I'm definitely buying a t-shirt and raffle tickets. I might be able to come too, I found some pretty cheap tickets and if I keep getting decent hours at work like I have been I could possibly afford it. But don't hold your breath.
I guess now I'll have to find some pictures of me as a kid.
Comments by Sarah
A dainty kick in the crotch from a hot naked blonde? Or is just her foot naked? Fuck it, it really doesn't matter. I'd go for that either way. I guess I better buy a raffle ticket.
Comments by Nobody™
Hmmm, now I just need to sell enough of my old crap on ebay to buy a ticket!
Comments by maman
Maman, email me your ebay name. Oh wait...that would defeat my money saving, huh?
Damn. If I lock the children in the closet while I'm away, is that child abuse? How about if I leave them Little Debbies and Benadryl?
Comments by Kris
Well fuck.
Comments by Stephanie
And by "well fuck" I mean I fucking can't attend. I suck. Car payments suck. Auto repairs suck.
I will once again live vicariously through all the Twitters and photos afterwards.
Comments by Stephanie
Sorry Adam I cannot make it... Google maps tell me the ~18,000km trip will take over 42 days and I don't have a kayak to cross the Pacific Ocean :(
Comments by iddly
Awesome shirts and announcements. Now that I started a new chemo schedule I'm totally up in the air as to whether I can come :(
Comments by Lisa
I thought you said it was the week of Sept 15 you bastard! Too late to change my plans now. NICE GOING.
Comments by RW
Glad I've got time on the raffle - obviously super broke right now with insurance deductibles, etc.
If my husband gets his new job - I can afford to come! Otherwise, I hope enough people buy raffle tickets to be able to go for the grand prize - but I also hope that you will fix the raffle so that I win.
I can, um, do some personal favors ifyouknowwhatImean.
Did I just say that outloud? Whoops.
Comments by Sheila (Charm School Reject)
Holy sweet Jesus, every single one of those shirts looks freakin' sweet! Wish I could be there.
Comments by kapgar
Now, if that isn't an incentive to get a job to have money to buy t-shirts then I don't know what is! Must have must have...
Comments by Bec
damn, i won't be able to make it since i'll be in pakistan, the *real* "sideshow of the forgotten." still, i'd like to help out by sending a pic of myself as a kid. but, truth be told, i'm kind of afraid that you are going to post it under a post called "Guess Who Grew Up to be an Asshole" or something. Maybe I'll just buy a t-shirt.
Comments by Faiqa Khan
Pics will be on the way shortly.
The shirts are made of AWESOME!!
We are just waiting on your hotel news sugar to make our travel arrangements.
Comments by Turnbaby
There's at least a 99.9% possibility that I will not be able to make it to the actual party.
But, I must have one of those shirts. I already have way too many shirts, but a DaveToon designed shirt it the shit.
Comments by martymankins
John, it is the event of the season!
Clown, yup huh!
Sarah, I will hold my breath. You should totally come - it will be worth it.
Nobody, everything's naked, and it becomes a gentle caress.
Maman, you've got two months. Better get crackin'!
Kris, and vodka.
Stephanie, one of these times you'll have to join us.
Iddly, start swimming!
Lisa, awww. I hope you can make it, though.
RW, you can come down twice, ya know.
Sheila, ooh, personal favors, eh?
Kapgar, I guess you'll have to buy every single shirt, then, right? Right?
Bec, do they have prostitutes in the UK?
Faiqa, I can just pull up our old yearbook and use something from there. And you're really going to be in Pakistan in November?
Turnbaby, I'll be talking about hotels soon - need to finalize some numbers.
Marty, your shirt is waiting for you - calling your name!
Comments by Avitable
Yeah, but the t-shirts costs more than £1 (which is all I can hope to get)!
Comments by Bec
Is there any more info about this party that I need to know about? I so want to go now....
Comments by Robin