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Huge Announcement

Did I happen to mention that I’m having a huge, kick-ass Halloween party that all of you are invited to attend? Well, just in case you’ve been living in a cave for the last three months, I have been preparing for this party since June, along with some friends. We’ve been building props and creating designs and getting splinters and almost cutting our fingers off and putting monkeys in boxes.

I know I’ve been promising an announcement with regards to the Halloween party, including the theme and some cool extras I’m doing for people who might not be able to attend. Well, I always keep my promises. Click through to get all the juicy details!

On November 1st, 2008, from 8 PM EST until the clowns come home, in Altamonte Springs, Florida, the Avitables proudly present:

As some of you may remember, way back in May I solicited Internet Assvice on the best way to offset costs for the party. I don’t expect the party to be subsidized by my guests – I just want to keep my budget to around $3,000 or less. There were a lot of good suggestions, and while plenty of people seemed okay with the idea of a drink bracelet or drink tickets, in the end I decided that was going to be too much of a hassle to be worth the cost it would offset.

What would be a good way to let everyone get involved who wants to be, even if they can’t come? How can I bring some of the party to them and still achieve my goal of making the party affordable enough to open it up to the whole wide blogospherocentrocity?

Method #1: How about some kick-ass T-shirts?

Each T-shirt is a unique, custom design and a percentage of each sale goes into the Avitable Halloween Party Fund. And you have four to choose from!

First, we have our take on the classic “Golden Ticket” – except where Charlie Bucket’s Golden Ticket promised a life of chocolate from Willy Wonka, The Neverwas Fair Ticket promises a life of horror and despair, or maybe an end to life itself.

Neverwas Fair Ticket T-shirt shirt

Neverwas Fair Ticket T-shirt

The next shirt we have features some of the main attractions to The Neverwas Fair. The menacing master of ceremonies, the dangerous dog-faced boy, the melancholy killer clown. Won’t you come in and watch the show?

Welcome to the Neverwas Fair shirt

Welcome to the Neverwas Fair

Our third shirt was designed by yours truly. With my signature chicken-scratch art and horribly proportioned figures, by purchasing this design, you can show your appreciation for the art of “special” people. Anyone will assume that you bought the shirt out of charity, or maybe lost a bet. What could be better?

Murder Clown shirt

Murder Clown

Finally, for the first time ever, I have an exclusive limited design shirt that has been designed by none other than Dave2 from Blogography! This is a unique design drawn specifically for this shirt, and after these shirts are all gone, it will never be seen again! Since this is a special, limited edition, the price is higher, but isn’t it worth it to be walking around in a piece of contemporary art? And while all of those Blogography fans are walking around with their Artificial Duck T-shirts, you can show that you’re a real fan.

Limited Edition Davetoon Halloween Shirt shirt

Limited Edition Davetoon Halloween Shirt

Wow, Adam, those are so cool! I’m going to buy four of each! Is there anything else that you want to tell us?

Oh, is there.

The next announcement is about YOUR role in this party. I want anyone who is thinking of coming or wants to come or doesn’t want to come but wants to be involved to email me a picture of yourself. I’d prefer a picture of you as a child, baby, or young teen, and a headshot or Glamour Shot or yearbook picture would do. If you have to scan something, scan it at 300 DPI and email it to me. If you want to mail me the picture so I can scan it, email me, and I’ll send you a postage paid envelope. But for this part of the party to really work, I NEED PHOTOS! And that way, even if you can’t attend, you are helping to make this party an amazing, one-of-a-kind event.

That’s awesome, Adam! I’m going to email you with my photo right now! Do you have any more announcements?

Only the biggest, coolest announcement yet!

How about a raffle? $7.00 gets you one ticket, and you can buy as many tickets as you’d like.
What can you win? Well, First Prize is one of each four T-shirt designs. Second Prize is your choice of two T-shirt designs. Third Prize is your choice of one T-shirt design. Fourth Prize is a kick in the crotch. But that’s not all.

If I sell 100 or more raffle tickets, we will also draw a Grand Prize winner. The Grand Prize winner will win a round-trip flight to Orlando, FL, for the night of the Halloween Party! The only condition is that the flight has to cost $350 or less, and cannot be exchanged for cash or any other prize.

You can also buy your raffle ticket on someone else’s behalf. In the form below, just put your name or the name of the person you’re “sponsoring”. And if you sponsor someone who wins a prize, you’ll also win a free T-shirt! Void where prohibited by law.

Who is the ticket for?

(If the button doesn’t appear, click here.)

So, in summary:

1. Buy T-shirts. T-shirts are good.
2. Send photos of yourself. You’ll have fun with the results, I promise.
3. Buy raffle tickets. Sponsor someone. Ask someone to sponsor you. Post about it on your blog – win a plane ticket!
4. The raffle will be open until Saturday, September 20th, and the winners will be revealed on Sunday, September 21st. The T-shirts will be available until October 1st and then they will disappear forever!

Any questions?

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54 Replies to “Huge Announcement”

  1. Sybil Law

    I am so excited!!
    Please hope that my husband gets this new job so I can come down for the party!
    Either way, I am SO ordering a tee shirt. Do they come in small?!
    Also, I am so going to put this (or a link to it) on my blog.
    Also, I emailed you a picture, right? Do you need another one?
    Um… if I come up with more questions, I will harass you in chat.

  2. Steph


    I’ll be in Orlando like, the week before your fabulous-o party. Is there any chance you could get ESPN to do a pre-party special? You know, so that there will be guaranteed action starting three days in advance that I can get in on?

  3. Karl

    I’m so there. It’s about time you announced the damn theme. Keeping my mouth shut has been torturous. Glad the raffle is open for a while. I’m broke till next month. How long do we have to buy the shirts?

  4. Ioma

    I love the t-shirts, especially the second one and Davetoon’s with the Siamese, I mean, conjoined twins.

    It’s too bad I can’t come to the party – you guys could’ve used a contortionist.

  5. Crys

    fabulous — now i have all the details! will send you a picture (do you prefer little kid pics MOST OF ALL? because it’s not like i don’t have 3000029309019384 million pictures of myself

  6. Coal Miner's Granddaughter

    Oh crap! Oh crap! I so need to come! Shit, fuck, motherfucker, cocksucker, tits, and damn. I sooooo want to come. I can drive! But the kids? Convincing Ty-man that he has to babysit for the weekend while I’m off partying? Not gonna happen. Blech. But getting a t-shirt/raffle ticket? That will most certainly happen!

  7. Avitable

    Neil, it would totally be worth traveling down from NY.

    Undomestic Diva, buy a raffle ticket – maybe you’ll win a roundtrip ticket!

    Dave2, no, but there might be a few other clowns there. You love clowns, don’t you?

    Tracy, get some people to sponsor you in the raffle and maybe you’ll get to come!

    Winter, well, it’s an awesome birthday!

    Sybil, you should definitely order some T-shirts and make sure to buy a few raffle tickets!

    NYCWD, ya think?

    Steph, can’t you extend your visit for a few days?

    Karl, the shirts are available until October 1st.

    BPR, you know you want a few shirts, too.

    Penny, it’s a loving kick.

    Ioma, why can’t you come?

    BE Earl, it is Enigma, yup. The second shirt was designed by a friend and local artist, Liquid.

    Kapgar, (maybe Katie will let you come if you win the raffle!)

    Britt, I agree!

    Hellohahanarf, just a good kid’s shot will work.

    Poppy, yes you should, although I’ll have hotel news in the near future, too.

    Cissa Fireheart, that’s why we have a grand prize, so someone who otherwise couldn’t go will be able to.

    TrishK, you won’t be sorry, I promise. You’ll like what happens.

    Blondefabulous, you’re going to drive up for the party, too, right?

    Whall, did you just call me babe?

    Hello, he’s pretty awesome for a Republican.

    Glenda, awesome!

    Finn, costumes are mandatory!

    Hilly, thanks – that’s a good picture. Now just buy some shirts! 🙂

    Kay, not in the slightest. That’s why I’m doing it.

    Crystal, I do prefer pictures of you as a young teen or younger. You’ll see.

    Metalmom, hmm, are you being sarcastic?

    BPR, that’s true, too.

    Mik, somebody wants to pay me to stay clothed?

    Beth, I’m not that smart, but I pretend well.

    Heather, of course it’s going to happen. He’ll let you. Everybody you love is going to be here. Let me talk to him.

    Nobody, what if it was a dainty kick with the naked foot of a hot blonde girl?

  8. Sarah

    All of this sounds so awesome. I’m definitely buying a t-shirt and raffle tickets. I might be able to come too, I found some pretty cheap tickets and if I keep getting decent hours at work like I have been I could possibly afford it. But don’t hold your breath.

    I guess now I’ll have to find some pictures of me as a kid.

  9. Kris

    Maman, email me your ebay name. Oh wait…that would defeat my money saving, huh?

    Damn. If I lock the children in the closet while I’m away, is that child abuse? How about if I leave them Little Debbies and Benadryl?

  10. Sheila (Charm School Reject)

    Glad I’ve got time on the raffle – obviously super broke right now with insurance deductibles, etc.

    If my husband gets his new job – I can afford to come! Otherwise, I hope enough people buy raffle tickets to be able to go for the grand prize – but I also hope that you will fix the raffle so that I win.

    I can, um, do some personal favors ifyouknowwhatImean.

    Did I just say that outloud? Whoops. :banghead:

  11. Faiqa Khan

    damn, i won’t be able to make it since i’ll be in pakistan, the *real* “sideshow of the forgotten.” still, i’d like to help out by sending a pic of myself as a kid. but, truth be told, i’m kind of afraid that you are going to post it under a post called “Guess Who Grew Up to be an Asshole” or something. Maybe I’ll just buy a t-shirt.

  12. martymankins

    There’s at least a 99.9% possibility that I will not be able to make it to the actual party.

    But, I must have one of those shirts. I already have way too many shirts, but a DaveToon designed shirt it the shit.

  13. Avitable

    John, it is the event of the season!

    Clown, yup huh!

    Sarah, I will hold my breath. You should totally come – it will be worth it.

    Nobody, everything’s naked, and it becomes a gentle caress.

    Maman, you’ve got two months. Better get crackin’!

    Kris, and vodka.

    Stephanie, one of these times you’ll have to join us.

    Iddly, start swimming!

    Lisa, awww. I hope you can make it, though.

    RW, you can come down twice, ya know.

    Sheila, ooh, personal favors, eh?

    Kapgar, I guess you’ll have to buy every single shirt, then, right? Right?

    Bec, do they have prostitutes in the UK?

    Faiqa, I can just pull up our old yearbook and use something from there. And you’re really going to be in Pakistan in November?

    Turnbaby, I’ll be talking about hotels soon – need to finalize some numbers.

    Marty, your shirt is waiting for you – calling your name!

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