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Adam in a speedo, among other things

The year is 1994. Nancy Kerrigan gets clubbed by Tonya Harding. Bill Clinton gives his first State of the Union address. OJ kills his wife and gets away with it. Dakota Fanning is born. John Candy dies. And Adam Avitable graduates from high school. Let’s reminisce, using his 1994 Spruce Creek High School Yearbook:







(And, more for me than you, the two pages at the back my best friend filled with her insane ramblings):



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69 Replies to “Adam in a speedo, among other things”

  1. maman

    Ha! Swimmers unite!

    I am dropping kids off to first day of school tomorrow.. putting on my brand new speedo suit (they make one in my size!!!) and going for a swim at the YMCA!!! My Speedo will have a top though, otherwise I would look like this… :boobs3:

  2. Shelli

    That whole Dear Abby thing doesn’t surprise me one bit. That’s who you are, even if you try to be all hard ass. I mean, what kind of hard ass gets celery, cream cheese and straws for his employee/best friend for when she gets to work on the first day of her trying her damnedest not to smoke? You are a good man, Charlie Brown Adam Avitable. A good man.

  3. Undomestic Diva

    OMG, Adam Beef Abominable??! You were one hot juicy piece-o-beef in 1994. I just time warped myself on I may not have been born in 1976, but I sure looked hot in my yearbook photo then. (Warning: major time suck.)

  4. Sybil Law

    Adam Beefcake Abominable Avitable.
    Also, how dare you say, “speedo” and not have a good shot at the goods!!!! :crazywife:
    Luckily, the rest was so funny and cute and just sweet that I got over it.
    (also, two questions – is Patel like, Smith over in India? Because didn’t every school have a bunch of Patel’s? And, I think George Clooney had sideburns, right – on ER, back then?!)
    Thanks for the laughs.

  5. Bucky

    I had a crush on a girl named Nikki also. She didn’t find Jesus though. She found some guys penis, and that guys sperm found her egg.

    Strangely enough, that swollen pregnant belly on her tiny frame made me crush on her even more.


  6. NYCWD

    Dear Avi,

    In the morning when I wake up I usually have to peel the speedo away from my mile high teased pubes. Do you have any suggestion on how to tame them so it isn’t such a shocker in the morning to my Jeebus finding soulmate?

    Miss June

  7. Em

    A Dear Abby kind of person? WTF? Actually, though, you do sort of seem like the kind of guy girls would confide in.

    Interesting topic for tonight. I wrote a post once on a blog in a land far away about this and I pissed off a bunch of younger people.

  8. Squeaky Wheel

    In 1994, I was in 6th grade. Who else feels old now?

    In my senior arial shot, I’m nowhere to be found. They had to super-impose the images over one another to fit everyone onto a two-page spread…I think I got lost during the airbrushing. Probably for the best.

    I’m totally going to break out my senior yearbook and do this on my blog later.

  9. Poppy

    You clearly are retarded. You even called yourself a retard in your post then forgot to pimp your own radio show, “CLEARLY, YOU’RE RETARDED”. This makes me laugh at you.

    I should just copy and paste this comment for the second post you did today.

    PS – Nice Speedo.

  10. trishk

    1994??? I’m not even going to think about what I was doing in 1994..oh yeah, living in Alaska and my daughter was starting middle school.

    My eyes were closed in my class photo also.

    I have to do it….

    Where’s the “Beef”?

  11. Sheila (Charm School Reject)

    I also found an angry korean and a Mr. T Wannabe in your class photo. But that kid in the pink shirt looks waaaay cooler. Sideburns trump a Mr. T mohawk anyday.

    Everyone says “I feel so old now.” Geesh. I feel so young now. In 1994 I was in 4th grade. ha

    I never purchased a single yearbook. Sometimes I regret that – but usually bc all of my yearbook pictures suuuuuuck.

  12. hello haha narf

    oh my fuck, this was awesome. i looked like such a tool in my yearbook (1989) that there is no way in hell i would post photos. although i am now seriously considering scanning in what folks wrote to me. that would be fantastic!

    beef. it is what’s for dinner.

    le rowl!

  13. y not i

    I just read that someone put Brad Pitt’s yearbook out on e-Bay. Bids were up to $120.00. You ought to try that. I might be willing to bid $1, as long as you agreed to throw in a copy of that girl’s Playboy issue.

  14. Faiqa Khan

    Hmmm. You seem a lot cooler in this rendition of your yearbook than I recall you actually being in high school. Maybe that’s because *I* was too much of an idiot to notice. Whatever, I salute the “ballsiness” it took for you to do that. Plus it was funny.

  15. martymankins

    You’re all goth in that first picture. Like a cross between Tim Curry from “Rocky Horror” to Bille Joe Armstrong from Green Day.

    But nothing tops “Adam Beef Abominable” Even the Math Club is proud to mention.

    Let’s see… 1994… easily the phrase “Where’s The Beef?” could have had a re-birth.

  16. Scout's Honor

    Well, yer just a sweet li’l young’un aren’t you? 1990 grad here.

    Dude, you were a swimmer?

    Dude, you posted the girls’ real names? I am sure they are so proud to be publically remembered by the guy who shows the internetz his scrots as the girl he made out with, got nak’d with, or who he thought of fondly as a lesbian, eh?

    It brings tears to this republican’s eyes and almost makes me want to pull out my own yearbook. Almost….

  17. Craig

    Can I just say I love these walks down memory lane? And I was on the Math Team too! I justify it by telling people that there was free donuts and chocolate milk involved. It doesn’t really help though.

  18. Katie

    Awesome. But you know the best part about that post? It made me realise that Avitable is your last name. And here I was, thinking it was some awesome screen-name, but nope, it’s your REAL name. You’ve had that awesome name your WHOLE LIFE. That’s so coooooooool! 😀

  19. Valerie and Clayton

    You get a joint comment from us. I set Clayton up on a date with Nikki. It was a double date with her sister and an Italian exchange student from Seabreeze. It didn’t work out, but they had fun at the Maze- do you remember that? Hey- you didn’t call me out in the swimming photo as someone who could beat you in the lanes 🙂 As a swimmer who eventually married someone who we swam with, I can attest that the girls definitely checked out the guys in their speedos to determine the potential for a high quality relationship. For me, it was a determining factor in dateability. Here’s a little TMI- Clayton proposed to me in his speedos because that’s how we met…

  20. Willie G

    It’s wild to go back in time and remember things as they were. I was an unpopular freak who went to class stoned and tried to be ignored by everyone. I don’t look back so much. Not to mention I graduated 30 years ago.

  21. Avitable

    Britt, at least I wasn’t a stuck up gutter slut.

    Amanda, and I shall call you Empanada!

    Whall, the bigger shame is how disappointed you were when you realized that there wasn’t a real photo.

    Blondefabulous, Britt’s assured me that her vagina smells like unicorns and fairydust, so I have had no reason to doubt the veracity of that claim.

    Karl, varsity swim team – is that actually being an athlete?

    Chag, nope. It was an after school community service thing. Don’t remember what it stands for.

    Hilly, respect mah authoritah!

    LMSS, SHOCK-IT was community service, believe it or not.

    Maman, that might affect your aerodynamicity.

    Robin, they don’t look like mug shots!

    Shelli, shh, don’t tell anyone.

    Penny, lazy fucker.

    Jay, I was a geek who swam. Definitely not a jock.

    Dickie Maxx, wait, is that sarcasm?

    BPR, sure you can – just click it and then click the largest possible size.

    Undomestic Diva, yeah, that Yearbookyourself is a good site. One of my good friends created it.

    Sybil, Patel is like Smith, yes.

    Becky, well, I wanted to zoom in on it.

    Winter, nah, I’m old now.

    Bluestreak, and horrifying.

    Libragirl, I popped up all over my yearbook.

    Bucky, I could totally see that.

    SciFi Dad, Rich Fromm, the bastard. Tap danced his way to victory. And I know that, but in high school, they seem more similar than they are in reality. I’m more of a confidante than I am Abigail Van Buren.

    Gwen, yet I feel so old myself.

    Crystal, you’re sad about no Speedo shot though, aren’t you?

    NYCWD, I loved Miss June!

    Sue, I clearly am what I eat.

    Metalmom, now you’re just showing your age.

    Nobody, apparently I did. Sigh.

    Sam, you should do it – it is fun.

    John, I didn’t wear hats – they’d mess up my awesome ‘do.

    Finn, nothing much has changed, has it?

    Em, how old are you exactly?

    Ajooja, it was fucking amazing.

    Angie, did you go to Spruce Creek?

    Squeaky Wheel, gee, thanks.

    Poppy, you can’t do copy and paste commenting – it’s not allowed!

    TrishK, now you’re just showing your age too!

    Sheila, I like having all of my high school and college yearbooks.

    BE Earl, and they called you Lloyd too?

    Atomic Bombshell, no problem – it was fun doing it!

    Hello, c’mon, you should totally post your pics so we can mock you.

    Y not I, ooh, I could be a dollaraire.

    Evil Genius, I don’t think there are any actual photos of me where I’m not hiding.

    Fiwa, yup, exactly.

    Heather, Mu Alpha Theta, to be exact.

    Mik, I was 5 when you graduated from high school.

    Freelance, you’re erect now, aren’t you?

    Faiqa, well, you were a year ahead, so you barely paid attention to us. Besides you were jealous because you knew I was smarter than you.

    Marty, I was dressed in a tux – the scanner washed out my face, though.

    Scout’s Honor, I wasn’t going to go blur out everyone’s names. Too much work.

    Craig, donuts and chocolate milk make everything better, though.

    Katie, how did you not know that? Sigh.

    Val and Clayton, I do remember the maze! And don’t you remember that everyone could beat me – I was almost the slowest swimmer there. I didn’t know you set Clayton up with Nikki – wish you had set me up with her instead.

    Willie G, I had a good time in school and made a lot of good friends that I still keep in touch with almost 15 years later, so it’s nice having those memories.

  22. Miss Britt

    I was NOT stuck up!

    I would have been very nice to you! In fact, even after you sent me love letters explaining how you were in love with me and knew you could treat me better than the loser I was dating – I would STILL have been nice to you!

  23. Miss Britt

    I wasn’t slutty until college.

    And I am not stuck up now!

    Man, you really gotta let go of this bitterness you have about highschool. It’s silly for you to hate me 10 years later because I was a cheerleader way back then.

  24. Avitable

    Oh, like it’s hard to be popular among all the cornhuskers and farmboys. All you need is a pair of tits and most of your teeth.

    In a real school, with a large class, it’s actually a challenge.

    Maybe someday you’ll understand.

    Talk to me when you’re 40.

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