On Tuesday night around midnight, whether it was in anticipation of Not-a-Hurricane Fay or just premature ejaculation on the part of Progress Energy, my power went out. There was some rain and just a bit of wind, but I guess our grid just couldn't handle it. (Let me just say that Progress Energy is one of the worst utilities out there - I've had more power outages with them without any rhyme or reason than anywhere else I've lived).
I called in the outage and was told that it was too early to determine when the power would be back on. Laying in bed, I was too hot even without the sheets on. No AC and no fans in Florida makes it very humid and sticky.
I decided to take a shower, which I figured would cool me down and then I might be able to go back to sleep. It was nice and relaxing, but I still felt too warm to be able to really fall asleep. So I walked around the house naked, dripping dry. I was bored and it was warmer inside than outside, so that's when I decided to go outside.
There's something exhilarating about being naked outside at night. Stepping outside, whether it's in your backyard, in the woods, at the beach, in the middle of a parking lot, it doesn't matter. Something about being naked, in the dark, with only the moonlight to light your way, that is very freeing.
Some you know exactly what I'm talking about. The rest of you are too inhibited.
I rejected the backyard as an option because it was muddy with the rain. Besides, as soon as I went outside, Jigsaw would run around in circles and bark, and I didn't want to wake up the neighbors.
Since the power was out, all of our street lights were out, along with everyone's lights on the outsides of their houses, so I decided to go out on the front porch.
Standing there, I just enjoyed the sensation of being outside in nothing but my birthday suit. Across the street, the beam of a flashlight moved through a window at the neighbors. Down the sidewalk, some crazy bastard decided that midnight during a storm was a good time to walk his dog. Further down the street, I could see a neighbor out on the street under the moon looking around to see if her house was the only one without power.
Hidden in the almost complete darkness of my overhanging porch, relishing the ability to watch but not be seen, loving the breeze and the smell of rain, I was happy.
Until the power suddenly came back on, including the very bright porch light directly over my head.
Last night, we had an interesting show talking about age discrimination and how Britt is a retard who's defensive and I'm always right. I'd love it if you'd download it here, or add it to your iTunes here.
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
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I love being naked outside, I'm with you
Comments by Amanda
Bare Naked Avitaballs...
Comments by Dave2
Ummm, count me among the un-inhibited... The kids just LOVE it, as you can well imagine.
Comments by maman
in october i am gonna convince britt to knock out the power grid while i hide in your yard, awaiting your naked self le rowl!
i will fully admit, i am forever naked in my backyard. my neighbors must hate (love?) me.
in fact, today's hnt post has me in various states of undress in my backyard. yes, i am serious. hehe
as soon as you send me my ipod shuffle thingy, can i download the talk shows to it?
Comments by hello haha narf
You have given me good laugh for the past few days. I feel like I owe you!
And it is AWESOME to be naked outside. With big spray.
The only thing that might have been better is if you'd locked yourself out of the house. :D
Comments by Sybil Law
I meant bug spray.
Yeesh.
Comments by Sybil Law
All the tomcats in my house agree with you. They all like to run around with their balls swinging.
Comments by Winter
You aren't the only person who has been surprised by suddenly getting power back on like that. Unfortunately, We weren't just standing there enjoying the fresh air.
Comments by bluepaintred
I'm a naked guy for a while now. Feels good and who cares, so I do it.
We have a large window overlooking the water in our living room that I am always naked in front of. The folks across the pond, I'm sure, are glad of that. :)
Comments by B.E. Earl
I have no balls, except my husbands which I dutifully keep in my purse, so therefore I cannot compete in said Olympic Free Balling competition. HOWEVER, if we could get a petition going to add free tittin' it, I'd so win the gold.
Comments by Undomestic Diva
Hahahaha! Yeah, before I was married, my then-boyfriend and I thought we'd have SO much privacy in the wooded backyard and we went at it in my uncle's pool (they weren't home). And then we knew we weren't alone when the cat-calls started when we finished.
Comments by BlondeBlogger
Oh....the cat-calls were from one of the neighbors, not my uncle. That would be gross.
Comments by BlondeBlogger
And when the power cam back on, so did all the security cameras. ;-)
At my old apartment I would go out onto my balcony after getting home from work and showering about 1 am and kick back naked enjoying the warm air. It was very dark and private back there. It also backed up to a city park so I could hear people in the park even though it was supposed to be closed.
Comments by Jay
See that? Can't rely on them for a timeframe. If you had needed it on sooner, it would have been hours. Power companies. Sheesh.
Bein naked is the tits!
Comments by TSM
These are the times that I regret not buying the house across the street from you when I had the chance.. Oh, you don't know that your across the street neighbour offered that one to all of us bloggies? Yeah, they did... Goldddeeeen opportunity... that I let pass by... Sigh...
Comments by DutchBitch
Dude, such an exhibitionist. You knew that light was coming on. I knew that light was coming on. You speedo wearing exhibitionist. Right on!
Comments by Scout's Honor
I can't go outside naked around my house because the cops are constantly watching the houses on the street I live on and I've already got fined for going out in my underwear to get the paper.
But I never really wear pants unless I'm going to work or my grandma's over. That has to count for something, right?
Comments by Sarah
"In the middle of a parking lot". ahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaa. For some reason I found that really damn funny. Nekkid is good.
Comments by Bluestreak
Naked, or at least semi-naked, is one of the best things about working from home. Or at least it was when I lived alone.
Comments by penny
Yer totally making that last part up.
I love being naked. I don't like other people seeing me naked, but skinny dipping has got to be the best thing since the invention of the orgasam.
Comments by Jennifer
Some people like being naked. Some people enjoy it.
You? Have an obsession.
Comments by Miss Britt
I am surprised that you weren't running around the yard!
Comments by Blondefabulous
Did you still feel uninhibited when under the spotlight or did that just make you want to dance?
Comments by Lisa
Are you sure that was the porch light? Or was it the spotlight from law enforcement?
Comments by trishk
I saw that line coming from a mile away. Try harder, you must.
Comments by Bucky
Ha! That's funny!!!
I would love to feel the night air on my naked skin as well but unfortunately we have neighbors and although I'm brave on the internet, I'm not that brave in real life. LOL
Comments by Elisa
Show of hands: who's thankful Adam doesn't have a mirror on his front porch?
Comments by SciFi Dad
well, since the whole of the internet has already seen the peepee, you might as well let the neighbors see, too
Comments by Crys
Good one Dave.
A typhoon could sweep down the street in front of the building I work in and our lights wouldn't flicker.
Give us a bright, sunny day, though and there's a chance it'll go. It typically involves a goofball running into a pole, somebody with a Ditch Witch or, for the really industrious, a couple of guys with a backhoe.
Mother Nature leaves us alone.
Comments by delmer
Dude, I'm starting to wonder if you're making this shit up. I mean, only so much can happen to one person. No?
(Oh, and I opened this after checking that there were no pics. Kid saw the emoticons and said he really liked these two. I am so going to have my three year old taken away. LOL)
Comments by sam {temptingmama}
Nice. Was anyone else naked, or just you?
Comments by Gwen
Damn power companies ruin everything for everybody! Hope you were able to cool down.
Comments by Becky
You had me at "freeballing."
Comments by Finn
I never go outside naked but I really should, especially being surrounded by woods.
Comments by Robin
Being naked is a good thing. Can't say I'd stand on my front porch naked though. (Mostly because I'm not that brave but also because I don't have a front porch)
Comments by Em
Amanda, with me, literally? Where?
Dave, it's a good mental image, isn't it?
Maman, your poor children!
Hello, you can download the shows to your ipod, yup.
Sybil, I have locked myself out at one point. That was bad.
Winter, you let your cats keep their balls?
BPR, hahaha - your poor neighbors!
BE Earl, at first I thought you had water in your living room.
Undomestic Diva, free tittin' it is.
Blondeblogger, well, everybody has that creepy uncle. Or is that creepy uncle.
Jay, no security cameras, luckily.
TSM, and the balls.
DB, I'd be plastered all over the interwebs.
Scout's Honor, if I knew, I would have fluffed a little.
Sarah, I guess that counts. You got fined for being in your underwear? Do tell!
Bluestreak, the middle of the parking lot is fun when it's really dark.
Penny, yes, I agree.
Jennifer, nope. I did not expect the lights to come on that quickly.
Britt, it's a healthy one, though.
Blondefabulous, it was too rainy.
Lisa, dance my happy ass back into the house at the speed of light!
TrishK, they don't have me on their watch list yet.
Bucky, I can only tell it like it happened.
Elisa, I have neighbors too, but it was nighttime!
Scifi Dad, a mirror and a camera, you mean?
Crystal, they only saw the scrot!
Delmer, yeah, that's almost how it is here. If it might rain, the power goes out. During the actual storm, though, it's fine.
Sam, everybody has stuff happen to them - I'm just brave enough to talk about it.
Gwen, well, I was the only one in the house.
Becky, once the power came on, the AC kicked back in.
Finn, I figured.
Robin, it's nice!
Em, how about your backyard?
Comments by Avitable
Unfortunately our backyard, though it had a privacy fence, backs up to a bike path and a residential street, beyond the res street is a busy street, all of which are higher up than our yard. I can barely go swimming in the pool because people can see - let alone walk out there nekkid.
Comments by Sheila (Charm School Reject)
PS : Now I have "Free fallin'" stuck in my head.....
Avi's freeeeeeeeeee, free ballin'.
Comments by Sheila (Charm School Reject)
You have no idea how confused I get when I think I'm reading Bdogg's site but it turns out I'm reading yours. The word "ball" really should have tipped me off, but didn't. *sigh*
Comments by Poppy
WOW! That sounds exciting!
Comments by Shelli
I'm surprised your neighbors haven't seen you naked before. Avitabuttocks should be a common sight in your neighborhood.
Comments by Grant
Avitable: with your track record, I believe the camera is implied.
Comments by SciFi Dad
Well, at least you didn't have to worry about 'shrinkage' because it wasn't cold outside. Right?
Comments by Dragon
I'm definitely too inhibited. But maybe during the next power outage, thanks to your tutilage, I may take the plunge.
Or maybe not. LOL
Comments by Evil Genius
Having been naked outside at both home and away, it's nice. But when the porch light comes on (or in the case of camping at the lake, a large and powerful spotlight on someone's boat), the zen moment is instantly killed.
Comments by martymankins
This is why I live in the country.
Oh, and why I don't live by you.
;)
Comments by maggie, dammit
Ha! Always check the light switches before you go outside naked, dude. Rule of thumb. Or rule of penis, if you will.
Comments by Karl
Naked is good.
Comments by Turnbaby
The backyard is a definite possibility.
Comments by Em
aaahhh.... nothing like being caught naked. I have nightmares about that sort of thing, not necessarily being naked, but being caught being naked.
Yet I make use of the backyard with the privacy fence frequently. Problem is the neighbors have a high deck with a skybox view into our otherwise private backyard.
Comments by Willie G
That really gave me a good laugh. Thanks!
Comments by Karen
...
Comments by Maria
Never underestimate the power of, well... power.
Comments by whall
I am SO glad I don't live across the street from you. Then, I might be subjected to seeing your balls... wait a second. I HAVE seen your balls. And I don't leave anywhere near you! What the fuck?!?!
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
So that was your HNT for the week, eh?
Comments by Stephanie
I am so with ya my brotha. I live in the country and the less clothes the better!!!
Comments by Leslie
I love how, even after all is said and done, that you and Britt still can't agree on who won your debates.
Comments by kapgar
Sheila, bah, who cares what the gawkers see?
Poppy, why would you get her site confused with mine? Does she have a picture of her eating ice cream with Stalin? :D
Shelli, you should try it.
Grant, I try not to scar them.
SciFi Dad, good point.
Dragon, it was rather warm, yes.
Evil Genius, you should do it - it's totally worth it.
Marty, exactly!
Maggie, but you wish you did!
Karl, good rule of penis, sir.
Turnbaby, succinct yet to the point.
Em, I'll expect stories from you.
WillieG, then let them enjoy the show!
Karen, was it a chuckle or more of a snort?
Maria, you're one of those inhibited ones, aren't you?
Whall, well put.
Heather, so you're saying you want to join the Avitable Ball Photo of the Month club?
Stephanie, I don't do HNT.
Leslie, as long as you're not with your actual brotha!
Kapgar, oh, she knows I won. She just won't admit it.
Comments by Avitable
In my feed reader I have you right next to each other. Cuz, you know, your styles are soooo similar.
Comments by Poppy
Poppy, we're like style twins!
Comments by Avitable
Oh, wow, I did not see that coming. I bet the neighbors didn't either.
Comments by Jessica
Jessica, hopefully they were all sleeping!
Comments by Avitable