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Averagely Good Not so Bad Intentions

I had a video that I shot outside with the wind and rain whipping around me, bending the trees and showing that the pool was almost completely full and my Quicktime keeps crashing when I try to open it, so all my effort is for naught.

Instead, you get reminders:

First, go buy a T-shirt using the widget on the sidebar! A percentage of every T-shirt sale goes to the Halloween fund, and you can wear a piece of history. In addition, I created a few other shirts that are a bit cheaper that you might enjoy. Click the picture to go buy the shirt:


Barack Obama for President shirt


Shut up. shirt


Tropic Thunder Shirt for Black Males Only shirt

Tropic Thunder Shirt for Black Males Only


Barack Obama bought me an iPhone! shirt

Second, send me a picture! Whether it’s a picture of you as a teenager or as a child, or even one as an adult, I need photos. Email them to me at my first name at my last name dot com.

Thirdly, the raffle has now sold over 35 tickets – we’re a third of the way before I can offer the Grand Prize of a roundtrip ticket to Orlando for the Halloween Party! Don’t you have $7.00 to spare in your Paypal account – one ticket might mean a plane ticket, a T-shirt, or something in-between! Void where prohibited by law.











Who is the ticket for?


(If the button doesn’t appear, click here.)

Finally, if you have ordered a T-shirt, when you get it, I’d love to get a photo of you wearing it. Showing your balls under your shirt is not mandatory.

Hope everyone has a good weekend – tomorrow I’m guest posting over at Karl’s and you don’t want to miss it!

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27 Replies to “Averagely Good Not so Bad Intentions”

  1. Sybil Law

    My favorite shirt is the “Shut up” one, but I’d like it in HUGE letters!
    Don’t you be a worryin’ about me buying raffle tickets and shirts. It’s gonna happen. I don’t have a Paypal account, though. So it requires multiple steps!!!! Not gonna happen right this minute!
    And my friends suck and don’t buy me tickets. ‘Cause they suck.

  2. Crys

    i just received word that they are sending me my I’M NOT A RACIST shirt. i will wear it around all my GOP friends, of which there are none, and then around my GOP townfolk, of which there are many. i plan my days according to how deeply i can offend and scandalize others; you have helped me greatly.

  3. Avitable

    Sybil, no, it’s better to have the “Shut up” be quiet. Like if someone was talking and you just said, in your normal voice, “Shut up.” See?

    Rattling the Kettle, some kind of jackass, definitely!

    Mary, well, go ahead and order some, then!

    Blondefabulous, I like the understated nature of it.

    Penny, exactly!

    Sarah, that’s cool – it will be available for a little while longer!

    Becky, sweet! Send me a picture of you wearing it when you get it.

    Britt, suck my nuts.

    Crystal, you’ll definitely have to send me a picture of you wearing it.

    NYCWD, well, it’s both absurdist and just taking two popular things and meshing them together. If people don’t think Barack Obama is awesome enough, he bought me the coolest gadget out there, too! See?

    Whall, I created them, is actually what I said. And I did like yours – the Latin was a nice touch.

  4. Cris

    You know, since I try to hairy monkey see- less hairy monkey do.. to all of your great blogging ideas… I have to say my T-shirt sales for “Ball Licking Man Fever” don’t seem to be going as well as your sales. WTF?!! I suspect it is because Britt is on your sales team.

    Actually a sweet pic of Britt and the words “I’ll Freakin STAB you in… ” then make optional “the heart!!” or “the balls!!” They would make nice Ts for your web site AND it would kind of fit the Halloween vibe. Just saying… you know?

  5. Avitable

    Robin, but first, buy a T-shirt.

    RW, I think that’s a winner – I’ll steal your idea if you don’t mind.

    Hello, suuuure, I believe you.

    Mike, glad you were able to get it working!

    BPR, you should at least buy a raffle ticket!

    HG, awesome – look forward to it!

    Cris, clearly you are the sales genius. I should just get rid of Britt.

  6. John Avitabile

    I just found your website while researching our distant relative, Paolo di Avitabile of Napoli, in Italia for my girlfreind’s interest. I listened to some of your recorded shows and was amazed that you are still mis-pronouncing our name. I grew up pronouncing it as you do, but learned in my first quarter in college in introductory Italian at UCLA that it is pronounced AAH-VEE-Taahb_EEE-Lay meaning something that fits together well (perhaps well adjusted or sociable by stretching the meaning). In the 1800’s our relative was a big deal in the Punjab as governor and mercenary. He was very successful, but pretty brutal. They still tell bed time scary stories to their kids about him and call him Abu Tabela ( an Indian mis-pronounciation of the way I spelled it above). It took me twenty years to convince the rest of my family to pronounce it as it is meant to be and the Northern California branch has yet to “convert”. Just what is an Ah-Vit-eh-bull anyway? My grandfather said it the way you do because he wanted to be more American and that is the way they pronounced it when he came here at the turn of the last century. I am quite a bit older than you and not too hip with blogs, etc. Your site was interesting and some of your shows thought provoking. Thanks for the experience and I enjoy your sense of humor..

  7. Cris

    Humor…? I thought this was a free balling support group blog. That bastard charged me membership fees and gave me a fax of his balls as a reciept!! He even wrote, “Obligations fulfulled” on the damn thing. Dog fucker

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