It's not always about being funny.

Adam on women

(For those of you interested in Halloween announcements, scroll down to the bottom for hotel and travel information).

I don’t write seriously very often. The primary reason for that is that I’m not a very serious person, and I don’t have any problems that are worth releasing on the world. I am very happy with how my life is going and I think that bitching about things that are marginal compared to many other people’s serious, real problems would seem petty and stupid.

That said, this isn’t a post about my problems. This is just a general rant, and none of you reading it should think that I’m talking about you.

Most of you who know me know that I put women on a pedestal. I definitely got that from my dad. He and my mother, still happily married after 33 years, almost never fight. As a kid, I can maybe think of five or six times that they argued with any real anger – with raised voices or yelling. And in our house, even if they did it in the privacy of their bedroom, we would have heard them. I think one main reason that this is true is that my father was and is willing to defer to my mother. He’s not someone that feels strongly about many things, so with most issues he had no reason to argue. And on the few things that he felt strongly about, she had no problems deferring to him.

My father loves my mother. It’s clear in the way that he treats her and expected us to treat her. It’s evident in the respect that he gives her on a regular basis. And she loves him dearly, too.

I learned from my father’s example. A spouse or a significant other is a gift. They complete you in many ways, and you have to have a strong respect for the woman who makes you a better, more whole person. Most, maybe even all, women deserve my love and respect. To take it a step further, I don’t really consider the sexes equal. I consider women to be superior to men in many ways.

As a result, I despise the stereotypical male. Throughout my life, I’ve encountered hundreds of men who seem perfectly nice in mixed company, but once there are no women around, they act like we’re all part of some special club. They enjoy the chase, they relish lying and cheating, and they don’t view women as being equal with them. They’re users and abusers. They’re the guys who joke about women having to sleep their way to the top to be successful, or like to discuss a woman’s lips with relation to sucking cock. They view their spouses’ hobbies and jobs (if they have jobs) with a type of disinterested sarcasm, and every response to their wife is accompanied with a wink and a nod to the boys. The only time they show any real interest is if they decide to show some misguided jealousy over obviously innocent interactions between a man and their spouse.

I hate those types of men. They’re pieces of shit. Pigs. And any woman who is with a man like that and excuses it by saying, “Oh, he’s just a guy,” is wrong. He’s not just a guy. He’s a moron who has no idea what he has, but he thinks he deserves everything just for being a big manly man. With this class of men, you can just write them off as being an evolutionary throwback – a Neanderthal. As more and more women realize that they deserve better in life, this type of man will slowly die out, but until then, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about the, other than avoid them and encourage the women I know to avoid them.

There’s another type of man, though, that is even more frustrating, and that’s the man who is a genuinely nice person. He doesn’t lie or cheat or steal, nor does he want to. He actually wants to make his spouse happy and he loves her and is interested in her. But, for some reason, whether it’s emotional or developmental or behavioral, he’s unable to appreciate how lucky he is. He can’t see what he has and what he would lose unless it’s explicitly explained to him. He cannot maintain the attention span to functionally perform his role as a supportive spouse for more than a few days at once.

I want to shake this type of man and say, “Don’t you understand? You need to appreciate her. And provide for her in ways other than financially. If you fuck this up, it’s only your fault, and you’ve had it explained to you time and time again. What is fucking wrong with you?”

I’m far from perfect, and I know it. I have plenty of selfish moments and I’ve done things that have been chauvinistic and misogynistic and egocentric. But I’m aware of how lucky I am, and I strive every day to consider the happiness and well-being of my spouse with every action I take. And if her happiness means that I make the occasional sacrifice or bite my tongue, so be it. It’s a small price to pay to be with someone who makes me happy, whom I love and who loves me, who completes me as the person, not the man, that I am.


Halloween Announcement!

For those of you who will be traveling from out of state or even within the state but want to set up arrangements to stay somewhere after the party, I’ve got some information for you:

Flights:

You can fly into either Sanford Airport (SFB) or Orlando International Airport (MCO). They’re both about 30 minutes from my house, which is located at:

605 Birch Blvd.
Altamonte Springs, FL 32701

Sanford doesn’t have many airlines, but if you’re coming in from the Midwest, you might be able to fly through Allegiant Air, which has pretty reasonable fares. They won’t show up on any travel discount sites, though, so you’ll have to go to their site directly.

Orlando International Airport has plenty of airlines flying in. A taxi from the airport to the general area near my house will cost about $50, but all taxis in Orlando take credit cards for payment.

The party will be starting Saturday night, November 1st, around 8 PM. If you are going to be departing on Sunday, November 2nd, just keep in mind that flying out too early might mean very little sleep for you.

Hotels:

In order to try to find the closest hotels so that you wouldn’t be too far from the party, I asked Paul, aka Jestertunes to work his travel agent magic and see what deals he could wrangle. And what a deal he got!

The Hilton Altamonte Springs is only 2.4 miles away from my house and right off of Interstate 4. The hotel provides complimentary transportation within a 3-mile radius, as well.

The normal room rate for the Hilton starts at $139/night, but we have a special Halloween Party group rate of $99/night. These rooms contain two double beds, free WiFi, a gourmet coffee maker, and premium amenities.

The rooms we have blocked off at this rate will not last long, so if you are planning on coming, you’ll need to reserve them quickly.

How do I reserve my hotel room? Just contact Paul by phone from 11-5 PST at 1-800-474-5678, ext. 5402, or email him at paul@cruisemagic.com and he’ll get you all set up. If you’re still looking for plane flights, he can help find you the best rate out there, too.

Room or ride sharing? If you are interested in sharing a hotel room or getting a ride with someone to drive to the party, email me directly and I’ll start keep a list of people so I can try to help anyone who wants to cut costs. My email address is my first name at my last name dot com.

If you have any questions, you can email me or leave them in the comments. Thanks!

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90 Replies to “Adam on women”

  1. hello haha narf

    ya know, someone very close to me is married to a man who i just found out has no respect for her. he had a site up on aff while they were engaged and has been making inappropriate moves on her coworkers. plus loads of other crap. she carries his ass…financially as well as everything that has to do with the home.

    and i just wanna punch him in the face, beat the snot outta him, then read him your post.

    sigh.

  2. Sarah

    I concur.

    I think it goes both ways though. Women need to appreciate it when they find a man who is as good as what you’ve described. It’s unfortunate that more people in general don’t understand how much they should appreciate the person that they’re with.

  3. penny

    Thank you! I was married to one of those Neanderthals. I finally got it through my head that I didn’t have to put up with his shit anymore (It took 4 years of him telling me I would take his shit and be happy about it. Yeah, I used to be a little slow). When I told my mom? “Oh, he’s a guy.” Yeah, and she wants to be my role model? After that I was afraid of what my dad would say, but he’s “Good for you. Whatever you need, just let me know”.

    And I wish women would appreciate a good man if they’ve got one.

  4. Bluestreak

    I´ve never been with a neanderthal, thank god. But I´ve been attracted to many of them. I know I´ve got one like you, the awesome kind. But I need to shake myself and say “wake up, most of them are neanderthals, so don´t fuck it up”.

  5. Jennifer

    Awesome first part, I skipped the second because I’m in Canada, and the mother of two, so coming to a party is outta the question unless I win the lotto.

    My husband is always making me feel like I’m number one in his life. Almost loosing me in 06 really hit him upside the head (I almost died giving birth). Anyway, there are times that he slips into the second stereotype you mentioned, and then I get pissy and threaten to beat the ever living shit out of him. The first guy you described? Is why he doesn’t hang out with guys at work. Their attitude is that once they’re two bridges away from the wife, its a temporary divorce.

  6. Gina

    I have a whole new respect for you. If only all men understood what you do. Women ought to do the same for the men in their lives too.

    You’re blessed to come from a family with parents that have remained together. My parents divorced when I was not even 3 and my mother remarried a man I now refer to as the “ex-stepfucker” as she thank god divorced his disrespectful ass when my brother was 3 or so. It makes it that much harder not having positive relationships to look up to and learn from. May be one of the reasons I ended up in a bad marriage and bad divorce. I am hoping the next time I take the big step and marry I don’t screw it up.

  7. Nat

    Amazing post. Ok, we can be friends.

    Seriously, I think there is another loathsome dude in this the guys who act all nice but are emotionally abusive and domineering assholes usually preying on women who have little to no self-esteem, who are convinced they can “change them”. Then they revert to guy in the bar…

    I suppose the “stupid girl” post is best left to us chicks eh?

  8. Faiqa

    Just when you think you have life figured out, the guy who ruined your Sunday by tricking you into watching a monkey defiling a toad corpse turns out to be a lovely and admirable fellow, after all.

    You’re a good person, avitable, but, I already knew that and so do you.

    On a side note, DUDE, we live, like, fifteen minutes away from each other! I can’t *believe* I’m going to miss this Halloween party. It sounds like so much fun.

  9. Robin

    I think my husband would really enjoy this post because he’s always saying to me “don’t lump me in with other men, I’m not like them” and he’s not. At least not in regards to the majority of other men I’ve met in my life, including my own father. You are one of the good ones Adam, I’m sad so many women miss out on this type of guy.

  10. metalmom

    Adam, (and not ‘Avitable’ for a second…

    You should write more heart-felt posts.You have a wonderful way of putting things so that there is no misunderstanding what you’re saying. You are a warm, caring person and you really should let that shine through sometimes.

    Note: I said “sometimes.” We wouldn’t want the freak to disappear! :heartbeat:

  11. Sheila (Charm School Reject)

    I agree with you 100%.

    And tto he women who LET their husbands act like that, and excuse them because “they’re guys” – SHAME ON YOU.

    My husband can be a total and complete douchebag 91% of the time – but that’s a more recent development because of all the crap that’s been going on – and, let’s face it, I’m a tough girl to love. BUT he loves me and treats me with respect. If he treated me, the way I treat him sometimes, I’d so be a divorced lady on the prowl.

    Yay for discounted rates! I will be there!

  12. Em

    Awwww… look how sweet you are! I know that first type well. So well, that the 2nd type sounds pretty OK right about now. But someone like you and your dad… well that’s just unfathomable.

  13. Princess of the Universe

    As so many people have already pointed out- of course we (as women) need to show our partners the same amount of respect and devotion.

    Are we superior? I don’t know, I think both genders have their strengths and weaknesses.

    I definitely think you’re in the minority in your way of thinking though.

    Thanks so much for this post.
    xo

  14. Clown

    Bullshit.
    You fucking knew I would read this and just couldn’t keep shit to yourself. I don’t tell you how to eat cheeseburgers or passively aggressively tell others in front of you what the proper way to comb your hair is.

    This is really a shitty way to bring something up to somebody who considers you a friend. Ass.

  15. Clown

    But I would be like

    “Hey Britt, don’t you hate when people have really messy hair. I’m not talking about anybody I know, or in this room, but that really busts my nuggets!”

  16. Elisa

    Your wife is one lucky lady! I wish my husband felt that way but I have a feeling he probably talks shit about me when he’s with the guys. He works in a steel mill after all.

    There I go excusing him!

    His dad was a horrid example IMO. He frequently disrespects his wife and has even done so to me. My husband is the type to never stand up for me and that’s one thing that irks me more than any other.

    And, sidenote, one of my dearest friends lives just outside of Orlando. I sooo wish I could come to your party. Sounds like a real blast. 🙂 However, I’m like another commenter, broke w/ two kids. 😉

  17. CP

    You have restored my faith in men. Fortunately for me, I have one just like you…only not as furry.

    We are still waiting on the baby update but if she’s not giving birth that weekend, we will be there…

  18. misi

    I think it’s interesting that you wrote this right after your friend(who you obviously adore and seems like you are NOT making her feel better but in fact egging her on with your comments) writes about her husband and the conflicts in the marriage pretty much is what YOUR post is about… Also coming from the man who is very open about his fascination of porn, which is degrading to women all over and from someone who would post disgusting animal porn…
    Well, to me it seems as though your just a smart guy who knows what is the right thing to say in any given situation.
    A big oxymoron is what it looks like to me..
    Sorry and I know all your loyal readers will crucify me but well you have no problem speaking your opinions to others so I figured I would be given the same grace to exert mine.
    Anyways, I’ sorry to be a bitch but this post was over the top and I wasn’t going to ignore it any longer and since this a free world I will not be back. I know you don’t care, just saying…
    BTW? I think I should have stopped reading once you posted that pic with your thing hanging out and my kid almost saw that Ugh but I gave you the benefit of the doubt b-cuz sometimes you ARE funny.
    Anyway-best wishes to you and yours-Misi
    FYI-Obama sucks ass and I know he will win but nothing will change for the better. You’ll all see.

  19. hello haha narf

    are you kidding me? misi, i was gonna say that there is no reason for everyone to crucify you for your opinion, that although i thought you were wrong about many of your points that i respected you for having the guts to comment. THEN i clicked on your link. not to your blog, but to some bible site? now that chickenshit behavior deserves to be crucified. do does “b-cuz” for crying out loud. but i have a feeling that you aren’t worth it. and THAT is sad. you could have inspired a decent conversation, but instead you make yourself look like fool and your points get lost.

    don’t bother heading to my site. you won’t like it and your kids will see plenty of body parts over there, not like adam’s picture in a long t-shirt.

  20. Charissa

    Thank you,
    You have just helped me restore a bit of my faith in men!
    Now where can I find them?????????

    Seriously, that was beautiful. Your wife is indeed a lucky, lucky lady!

  21. Katie

    I was going to say, aren’t you worried giving out your address, in case some crazy maniac turns up, covered in blood and weilding an axe?

    And then I thought to myself, actually, that’s probably what you’re HOPING will happen, since it’s a Halloween thing. 😛

  22. Gina

    @Misi: Before I can begin to respond to the ignorance of your comment, I have to remark on the awful grammar/spelling of your comment. You use “your” instead of “you’re” and then use horrible abbreviations like “b-cuz.” If you are trying to sound intelligent, you ought to make more efforts to put forth decent grammar, spelling, and word usage.

    Now onto your comment:

    Porn is not automatically degrading to women. Porn reveals women as valid sexual beings. The fringes of porn can be degrading, certainly, but much of porn is not. For someone to claim that all porn is degrading it is clear that this individual (you in this case) has had little or no real exposure to porn – and this is why a black and white perspective can be held. For someone to take the view that all porn is degrading to women is to say that women haven’t the right to be sexual beings, or must be extremely “vanilla” sexual beings. That is far more disrespectful and discriminatory than much of porn.

    Regarding the animal porn, I am sure that Avitable is not actually into animal porn. He simply is a person who pushes the envelope. Good for him for pushing the envelope too. I find animal porn disturbing and consider bestiality a form of animal cruelty; but I get that he is pushing the envelope when he does it – to get reactions out of people such as yourself.

    You absolutely have the right to share your opinions and to have an opinion – opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. I just would hope that if you do share your opinion, in a public forum especially, you’d ensure your opinion was intelligently composed.

    And regarding your child nearly seeing a pic of his “thing” (real mature choice of wording, by the way): Anyone who reads Avitable’s blog knows he publishes some posts that are not child-friendly. Why risk the chance your child would see anything by reading the blog when your child may see something he should not?

    I am not sure if you will even see this response to your comment as you stated that you will not be back to Avitable’s blog, but I felt the need to call you out on your ignorant and unintelligent comment.

  23. hello haha narf

    well if that is your site and you weren’t hiding behind a random bible site, then i take back my chickenshit comment. AND i will apologize for it. i’m sorry. although honestly, it just didn’t seem like the normal bloggers i encounter and felt very fake. hope you can understand how i mistook the link since it really isn’t a blog.

    i do stand behind my comment that i thought it was fine for you to comment in a manner unlike others. problem was the typos and b-cuz made you come off as childish and unintelligent. plus, it was just that you did seem pretty angry. not sure why. i mean, this is avitable.com where shock and humor rule. he is up there sitting with hitler and eating ice cream, for fuck’s sake!

    plus i think there is more to adam’s post today than piggybacking off of britt’s post the other day. adam is not exactly the kind of guy who needs to ride someone’s coattails to be popular.

    hope you don’t think that i am attacking you. and honestly, i don’t mean to defend adam because the man is quite capable of doing that himself much better than i ever could!

  24. misi

    Ok came back to see becky’s comment, to the blonde chick above, i typed it out quickly and gave no thought what so-ever to grammar b-cuz let’s face it if you are reading this crap are you seriously tearing me apart for saving time?? i find you also pathetic, get a life and stop trying to degrade other’s. it certainly won’t work for me, i do not value your opinion in the least. your just another face on this thing we call the internet. and go to my site, it is clearly written and well composed b-cuz my readers deserve that, though they are not looking for porn…

  25. Avitable

    Hello, no, I’m not. I’m very flawed, but I hope there are a few things I do right!

    Blondefabulous, sound? I’m like sugah.

    Sarah, I always have the tendency to view it skewed towards the woman’s benefit, though.

    Penny, sounds like your dad was a smart man.

    New Age, is it better than when I let my hard erect side show?

    Sarah, it’s not me being sweet – just the way that I view it.

    BHJ, are you offering? Because the way I hear it, you’re pretty hot!

    Janna, unfortunately, there are many people who are like that.

    BE Earl, yeah, I have those times, too, when friends are getting hurt.

    Bluestreak, the Neanderthals are usually the ones who can fool you at first.

    Lynda, I wish they did too.

    BB, no, I don’t. I wasn’t trying to be self congratulatory with it.

    DB, 14.

    Jennifer, well, you could win a free plane ticket – wouldn’t that count? Your husband sounds like a good guy.

    M.A.D., well, then that would be boring.

    RW, you just hate this, don’t you?

    Crystal, my tolerance is higher for the second, but my frustration is, too.

    Father of Five, it can be ugly!

    Manager Mom, I’m the lucky one.

    Gina, I do think that my parents really have set a great example.

    Zanthera, well, too much of that and they turn into the first type.

    Nat, we weren’t friends before? And the real abusers are in a category of their own. They deserve nothing but pain and misery.

    Faiqa, that was a live toad, btw. And since you’re so close, don’t you want to have lunch some day? It’s not like you work and your kid’s in daycare now!

    Robin, Erik seems like a good one, too.

    James R., that’s an awesome responsibility to have.

    Sybil, well, I am always right.

    PaintingChef, I’m glad your husband knows how lucky he is too.

    Honeybell, I can shake for a fee.

    Britt, well, I don’t mind being an asshole if it helps.

    Metalmom, who are you and what have you done with Metalmom? 🙂

    Thursday’s Child, thanks.

    Maria, it’s like the hunt for Bigfoot!

    Angie, hopefully.

    Radioactive, I think I’m the lucky one!

    Finn, he might be at the Halloween party. If I can convince them to come.

    Captain Steve, you mean my butt?

    NYCWD, I do know that some women are just as guilty as men.

    Christie, that’s awesome.

    Sheila, 91% of the time is a lot of time!

    Em, I’m sorry to hear that.

    Becky, you’re going to make him read this? Yikes!

    Kathy, touching and porn go well together.

    Princess, I do think I’m in the minority.

    Clown, hahahahahahahhahaha!

    Fiwa, I just tend to feel that women are better than men, in a general sense.

    Ginger, everyone will tell you that I’m not exactly a manly guy, though.

    Elisa, I’m sorry to hear that your husband doesn’t respect you. Now you totally need to leave him with the kids and come visit your friend in Orlando.

    Maman, better late than never.

    Jay, I know!

    Kylah, but what if I didn’t get it? 🙁

    CP, oh, he’s pretty fucking furry.

    Stacey, as long as they saved my naked post for a day when they need to masturbate.

    Misi, what in the holy fuck is your problem? Did you take your meds today?

    Hello, no, she misspelled her blog originally. It’s fixed now. Not that it’s any less crazy.

    Charissa, they’re out there! They’re usually geeks.

    Katie, I am the crazy maniac, though!

    Gina, I think she just misinterpreted my post as some type of attack on Britt. Or maybe she’s mad because I don’t love Dr. Laura.

    Hello, yeah, I’m not sure why this post made her upset, or why Misi is too blind to see that I’m doing this because I support Britt.

  26. Em

    I’m sure nobody really cares about my two cents… but a man who watches and enjoys porn is not automatically a man that doesn’t respect women. And animal porn of all things is completely beside the point! If you, misi, have a problem with porn because it goes against your religious beliefs then that’s a different issue.

    We only get a small glimpse of a person when we read their blog, but it has seemed pretty clear to me from the beginning that this guy (Adam) does in fact respect women. I have seen nothing in his blog and comments to indicate otherwise, and a whole lot to indicate that he does. And to say that this post is in some way meant to “egg on” Britt and is making her feel worse is just ridiculous. Britt and Adam have a real life friendship. If he is referring to her or her husband in the post I’m sure he does it with her best interests in mind…

  27. just beth

    Wow. Um. Hey, Adam! I dig that you dig women. I love your dad. I love that you love Britt so much. I’m glad that I’m not the only one that thinks about her blogs to use as jumping off points for their own posts!

    As for Misi? I think she’s silly. I bet she’s just trying to get people over to her site. I guess she won’t be back to see this, I just had to say it. And, I need to jump on the porn-is-not-evil bandwagon. What many women (and i’m CERTAIN that darling Misi is one of them) don’t understand is that men are visual creatures. That’s why they like to leave the lights on, if you catch me.

    I also don’t understand the idea that porn objectifies women… I mean, of COURSE it objectifies women! And? Is it really BAD to be the object of a man’s desire? For what, five whole minutes? How is that supposed to make me feel bad? Or the poor little porno chicks? Yeah, they’re crying all the way to the bank. Oh, and probably LOVING their job.

    Plus, I think that a good sex life is VITAL to a successful marriage. VI.TAL. Seriously. I know that if my hubby and I don’t do it for a day or two, we start to pick at each other and get cranky. Sex is a GOOD thing, and if a little porn is what gets you or your man off, ENJOY.

    Oh, but I hope she got the animal porn wrong. Cause EW.

    This is for Misi: hon. you probably need to GET LAID. Suck some cock. It’ll put things in perspective.

    :cocksuck2:

    Adam. girls rule, boys drool.

    :boobs3:

    xo!

    b.

  28. Faiqa

    you’re on. daughter is sick this week, but will go back to school at the end of the week, we’ll make plans. i’m laughing at how the comments on this post have evolved (or degenerated) into a discussion about porn.

  29. John

    So, Mr. Tact is for Pussies, that Sir, was a commendable post, written by a man with his head screwed on straight. Bravo. Seriously, that was really sweet and insightful. That hit home with me on so many levels. I’m in my mid forties, divorced over four years now. I love my ex, always will, and she KNOWS it. I make sure she doesn’t forget. Oh and my divorce? My decision. It could be argued that I fit nicely into that second category of man you talked about. I knew what I had. I knew what I was giving up. And I did it.

    As I struggle with being single in mid life, sometimes I think I should be smacked for being so stupid as to give up what I had. But deep down, I still believe I did the right thing. That said, searching for another partner is nothing short of maddening (as is fairly well documented on my blog). I had NO idea. And to keep from going off on the inevitable tangent that this subject always provokes, I’ll leave it at that.

    Great post Adam.

  30. Summer

    I knew there was a softer side to you. It comes through sometimes if you read between the lines. I am so lucky that I have a man that loves me and respects me and treats me like a queen. Thanks to your parents for teaching you how to treat a women. I strive to raise my sons the same way.

  31. J.O.

    It really tickles me that you can put the most shocking things on here and you get a pat on the back but the minute you get serious and say something nice you get raked over the coals for it. Some people are weird.
    I was married to a man of the jackass variety for 15 years. I worked full time and was expected to wait on him when I got home because in his words he was “the motherfucker that gets the bills paid around here!” It took me a long time to realize I didn’t have to live like that.
    I am now married to a man that builds me up instead of tearing me down. It makes me want to do for him all the things my first husband made me do for him, and I do them willingly. I do believe it’s a two way street. He deserves to get all the goodness back that he gives to me.
    Thank you for writting an insightful post I only wish I could have read this before I married the jackass!

  32. Xbox4NappyRash

    I am seriously fucking impressed sir.

    I think we ALL have those tendencies, and for myself I speak of being one of those ‘nice guys’ who hasn’t always appreciated what he has.

    Whatever reason was that I couldn’t, I don’t really know, lack of control I think, maybe my life wasn’t what I’d expected it to be, and I took it out on the one closest.

    I’m eternally glad I snapped out of it and I realise what my other half has done for me, what’s she’s put on the line, and my petty shit that she puts up with everyday. I’m glad I stopped feeling sorry for myself and grew a (malfunctioning, ironically enough) pair.

    Otherwise, I would have lost it all.

    Men being heroes of politics, and business, and sport and industry who go home and act like babies really wreck my fucking head.

    Top post sir.

  33. DebbieS

    Adam, I pink puffy heart you for writing this. My ex-to-be is a Type 2. The emotional mindfucking by a person who genuinely believes they love you but can’t get their shit together well enough to not treat *you* like crap? Is exhausting. And, to the outside world, he’s not nearly as obvious as the “Neanderthal”. I spent a long time thinking I was just an unappreciative bitch. Thanks for reminding me that there really are truly nice guys out there.

  34. michelle

    Hi i don’t know you too well actually started reading with the blog post over at the other person with the hmm, porno photo!!! I was pleasantly surprised at how funny you are and how funny i thought you were!!!

    Anyway, this post is truly amazing dude!! Really it is!!

    Also, so your having a party and like inviting the whole internet??? So, if i wanted to come and i don;t know you, you don’t know me, i can??? It’s really tempting. I live in NY but dude i would so be there!! So is this true???

    Michelle

  35. Poppy

    @Steph: It’s “bleep,” silly. :heartbeat:

    Adam, I hear you. I am not defending anyone, but I do wonder if men “like that” are raised with that reality in their family unit and therefor are just modeling the only behavior they know.

    It’s up to each of us to understand we want to be different than who we are and work toward being that person. If we don’t see there’s something we need to change, or don’t see enough benefit in making that change, it’s certainly easier for us to stay right where we are.

    And to everyone else who was not behind our closed doors, my ex was “the nice guy”. To me he is the most frustrating man on the entire planet. It’s all about perspective.

  36. Jessica

    @Misi, I know it’s late in the day, but what kind of Christian reads a site that has ‘TACT IS FOR PUSSIES’ and a picture of Hitler on the header??? Gimmie a fucking break, bitch, you’re insulting everyone’s intelligence. You’re the type of person that gives real Christians and blonds a bad name. Don’t get mad at Avitable because your conscience is acting up. By the way, your Pseudo-Christian Guilt is showing.

    I knew men had a secret club, I KNEW IT! And it figures that you’re married Mr. Avitable. All the good ones always are taken.

  37. Avitable

    So here I am, a week later, finally replying to comments!

    Misi, just thought I’d take this spot to say that I read your post, and I also have personal emails from you where you show what a hypocrite you are. You’re a moron.

    Hello, no, she is.

    Kylah, thanks for emailing me and straightening that out.

    Stephanie, what? You don’t have anything to say? That’s amazing!

    Em, have I told you that you’re awesome?

    Amanda, me too. The drama only makes it more fun!

    Just Beth, animal porn is only fun if nobody else is watching.

    Karl, I misread that as “girl”. Heh.

    Faiqa, so here I am, a week later. What day do you want to get lunch?

    John, thank you for the perspective.

    Summer, have you seen me? It’s all softer.

    JO, I’m glad you found someone who treats you right.

    Xbox, I’m glad to hear that you snapped out of it, too!

    DebbieS, they’re never as obvious as the Neanderthal and that’s what makes it so tricky!

    Evil Genius, okay, but I’m expensive.

    Michelle, have you decided to attend our little soiree?

    Poppy, I’m sure they’re modeling behavior, but that’s not an excuse.

    VW, thanks!

    Jessica, yeah, she’s one of the haughty Christians who likes to be holier-than-thou.

  38. Meagan

    I’ve always thought Mom and Dad were great role models, I think we were very lucky growing up in such a supportive and loving household…I think we all came out pretty great because of it 🙂
    PS today is their anniversary…heard you didn’t wish them a happy one 😛

  39. Doesn't matter piece of shit

    So, how does it feel now? A good woman you abused felt that if she told me about you, I would leave her. I stand behind her. And if you don’t get convicted in Florida, we will file suit against you and have you extradited to Arizona.

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