So, do you remember Major League?
And do you remember how the coach inspired the team by putting up a cardboard standee of the bitch owner? She had pieces of clothing on, and for every win, he removed a piece of clothing?
So, you do remember that? Why do I ask?
Well, there's this thing called Hot Blogger Calendar. And I'm nominated for one of the Hottest Males. Right now, they are accepting votes, and the top 12 vote recipients will be able to either do a photo shoot in NYC or submit their own photo, and they'll appear in a calendar that will be seen by trillions of people!
From now until midnight on Sunday, August 31st, you can vote for one person. Ideally, they should have allowed 12 votes, but they didn't, so you have to be choosy.
And for motivation, here is a prime example of how I am the hottest hunk of man meat to ever type one of these here blog things:
This is a picture taken during college.
The unedited original is a nude photo. Right now, it's covered in 10 Photoshopped pieces of clothing: There are two gloves, two sleeves, a shirt, two shoes, two pant legs, and a crotch piece.
For every ten votes I get, I'll remove a piece of clothing.
Since I already have 113 votes, I'll start by taking off a glove!
(Or you can just use the voting widget right here! I'm at the bottom of this list if you don't scroll down at all.)
For Episode Eight of "Clearly, you're retarded", Britt and I will be fucking each other's shit up at 9 PM EST on Talkshoe. The topic tonight is the drinking age - Should it be lowered? Should it be raised? What's fair? What's right? Join in on the fun by listening live! You can listen live online at Talkshoe.com, or download the Talkshoe application and you can chat and even call in!
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
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I just hope you realize how much trouble you are going to be in if this is not a full nude photo.
Comments by Amy
OK I already voted! I want some skin NOW!!!
Comments by Blondefabulous
ROFL! You're hilarious! I'm bribing my voters with Starbucks. I wonder which will motivate more...nudity or coffee...hmmm. :) Good luck!
Comments by BlondeBlogger
I voted. At least, I think I did. There was no submit button or anything...
and I'm so not convinced that you're actually nude in this photo. You don't have an "I'm nude" look on your face.
Comments by Em
The link doesn't work. D'oh. Where is this widget you refer to?
Comments by Gina
math isn't my strong point, but shouldn't you have taken off an additional ten items of clothing? You know, for 1-100?
Comments by bluepaintred
Uhhh... and how do we vote to make you keep your clothes on again?
Comments by Dave2
lol @ Dave2
This is hilarious
Comments by Amanda
Your comment about there needing to be 12 votes really hit me hard. That is a BRILLIANT idea! The fact that there are 12 or less of us in our little blog circle doesn't hurt, either...
However, the concept of you nude Major League style is enough to make me hack in and monitor the voting, so that for every 10 votes you get, I remove 5 votes automatically.
Remember, there's no crying in
vote-fixingavita-ball!Comments by whall
I voted! I'm not sure I realize the consequences of what I've just done. Maybe it's a good thing I'm legally blind.
You're a very talented Photoshopper. Those are some rockin' pants!
Comments by Ioma
I already voted for you!
Dangit.
You better start peeling off some clothes!
Comments by Sybil Law
@ Dave2 - That's easy... vote for NYC Watchdog
Obviously... I need to up my game.
Comments by NYCWD
Okay I'm gonna vote. I really don't think I'm going to feel good about myself after I do it though.
Comments by Jay
Skin Skin Skin Skin Skin!
Comments by penny
And what makes you think we want to take off your clothes?
Comments by Sarah
For the sake of all mankind I'm going to try and hack into the poll and take some vote off you. I don't think I could face seeing your testicles again.
Comments by Dan
I had to foresake all those other hotties to vote for you. You better be nak'd and not in some "nude" bodysuit or "nude" pantyhouse or other nonsense. You risk having henchmen crash that Halloween party of yours to get the real beef.
By the way, you crazy!
Comments by Scout's Honor
I had to use a different email address just to vote for you. SHOW ME THE NEKKID!!!!
Comments by libragirl
What's MY motivation for voting??
Comments by Miss Britt
How am I supposed to decide between you and Dawg? You're both big, hairy, and HAWT!
This is just too tough!
J.
Comments by Hoosier Girl
God dammit Adam. If you are actually nude in that picture and I see you nude...AGAIN, I am going to be pissed.
Oh, and if you're actually nude in that picture and you posed for it in college and kept it since college, I may come to your Halloween party just to punch you in the cock.
with an oven mitt on of course. skin on skin contact with a man's genitals automatically makes you gay. If you're a dood I mean. If you're a chick, that's totally cool and means you are popular.
Comments by Functionally ReTodded
I vote for World Peace.
And bodysuits.
Comments by B.E. Earl
i already voted for you. refer to Dave2's comment for additional feelings on this.
Comments by Faiqa
When you said you were removing one right now, I expected that you would start with the crotch piece. But then I thought you're supposed to bribe us with something we have not yet seen. ;)
How about a video of you eating chicken wings with your hands? I have a whole lab of computers ready to vote...
Comments by Mike
My first thought upon seeing your post was that Avi really wore some weird shit when he was in college. But after reading the rest of the post, I have to say I'm intrigued.
LOL - show us some skin Avi!!!!!
Comments by Evil Genius
What Britt said.
And now I understand why Dawg didn't come to bed until LATE ASS O'CLOCK. Thanks for that.
Comments by Poppy
I thought you were supposed to be trying to get people to vote for you? This is not the way.
You should have started out with the nude photo, and put one piece of clothes back on for every 100 votes you get.
Comments by Bucky
What good is a nude man in a picture? Now a nude man in my bedroom is a different story...
Comments by Finn
When you were in college you dressed in rainbow balloon pants and one glove? Where you trying to be MC Jackson?
Comments by maman
now THIS, my friend, is incentive.
at lunch i might have to find a library with a bank of computers that i can use to stuff the ballot box.
Comments by hello haha narf
I don't want to see you nude. I already voted for Dawg. I'm a bad blogger friend.
Comments by trishk
Clearly I am not getting any award like this until there is a best boobs award.
Comments by Robin
I already voted. I demand the unedited version be emailed to me now.
Comments by Maria
I like to be an informed voter and I need more facts - like what was the room temperature at the time of the photo? Schwety or Shrinked?
Comments by Beth
You really are slacking - you should've started whoring yourself earlier. I didn't even know you were in the running. So I voted for ::cough::NYCWD::cough:: yesterday but if I had known that I could get to see yet another picture of your sac, cuz seeing it everytime I turn on my computer just isn't enough - well now, that'd be a whole different ballgame.
Let this be a lesson to you - whore early and whore often.
Comments by Sheila (Charm School Reject)
I'm pretty sure I voted for you. I only saw one Adam Avitable on the list and my mouse hovered over that entry and I'm sure that's when I clicked the left mouse button (well, I'm using a Mighty Mouse on my MacBook Pro, which only has one button).
Your channeling "Flashdance" in that picture.
Comments by martymankins
I voted a long time ago, but I won't say for whom...
Ahem.
Comments by Hilly
I love that movie and what a creative idea! lol
Comments by B
I don't know. I'm still pretty scarred by the last time you showed your junk.
Comments by Jen
you expect me to not vote for the hotness that is Dave?
we see you naked at work plenty, kthxbaibbq
Comments by liquid
You got my vote! :)
Comments by Elisa
Okay. 113 votes (114 now) means you should have already taken off 11 items of clothing, right? WTF?
Comments by Stephanie
I clicked your button at least eight times, so, at the risk of sounding pushy, take.it.off.
Comments by Mrs. G.
I am not quite sure what I am expecting out of this but I voted for you anyway!
Comments by Kay
Again with the cash and prizes??!
I thought you would have been a serious student in college and wouldn't have been posing for nude pictures instead of spending your time more wisely on studying.
(Geez, I sound like some college student's Mom. Oh yeah, I am some college student's Mom)
Comments by Little Miss Sunshine State
Seriously, I hope this doesn't come down to some strange pole dancing scene. I swear to fucking Allah if I have to get naked and take pictures one more motherfuckin time this week, I'm going to club seals.
Comments by Ghost of Keywork
Sometimes I really feel like I shouldn't be reading your blog.
Comments by Kylah
AmyD, yeah, I've bolted my door.
Blondefabulous, were you satisfied?
BlondeBlogger, I think nudity always wins!
Em, oh, I am nude.
Gina, thanks for voting - I'm guessing you found it by now.
Bluepaintred, no, I was starting from that point forward.
Dave2, you should have sent cash.
Amanda, I owe it to Major League.
Whall, you wouldn't! *gasp*
Ioma, so does that mean you'll have to feel the images by touch?
Sybil Law, are you happy now?
NYCWatchdog, you ended up doing pretty well.
Jay, I appreciate your vote, even if it made you queasy.
Penny, you asked, I delivered.
Sarah, all of those private emails where you ask for naked pictures.
Dan, I bet you see testicles all day long.
Scout's Honor, oh, I was naked alright.
Libragirl, awesome, thanks!
Britt, I'll stop putting my balls on your head when you're trying to work.
HG, you could have voted for both of us, just using different computers.
Todd, you should come to the party anyways.
BE Earl, bodysuit, eh?
Faiqa, it's okay - I know you really want to see it.
Mike, that would be too horrifying!
Evil Genius, my outfit was great, wasn't it?
Poppy, he was a great contender!
Bucky, just let your wife read the post instead.
Finn, so you want an Avitable blow-up doll?
Maman, I was fucking trendy!
Hello, thanks for your vote(s)!
TrishK, you ARE a bad blogger friend!
Robin, you should start a best boobs calendar.
Maria, it might have gotten trapped in your spam filter.
Beth, schwaverage.
Sheila, thanks for the whore lessons!
Marty, thanks for thinking you voted.
Hilly, well, we know you nominated Dave and Vahid at least, so I'm guessing it was one of those two or Karl!
B, I'm full of creativity. Or something.
Jen, scarred? It should have been an enlightening experience.
Liquid, but Dave didn't win!
Elisa, thanks!
Stephanie, I would have if i had started the contest immediately.
Mrs. G, that's not pushy at all!
Kay, Avitable nudity - what else could you be expecting?
LMSS, I did some studying, too.
Ghost of Keywork, you managed to pull it off sans nudity. Well done!
Kylah, it's illegal in four states.
Comments by Avitable