Clearly, You're Retarded was the radio show with Adam Avitable and Britt Reints

Remember that movie Major League?

So, do you remember Major League?

And do you remember how the coach inspired the team by putting up a cardboard standee of the bitch owner? She had pieces of clothing on, and for every win, he removed a piece of clothing?

So, you do remember that? Why do I ask?

Well, there’s this thing called Hot Blogger Calendar. And I’m nominated for one of the Hottest Males. Right now, they are accepting votes, and the top 12 vote recipients will be able to either do a photo shoot in NYC or submit their own photo, and they’ll appear in a calendar that will be seen by trillions of people!

From now until midnight on Sunday, August 31st, you can vote for one person. Ideally, they should have allowed 12 votes, but they didn’t, so you have to be choosy.

And for motivation, here is a prime example of how I am the hottest hunk of man meat to ever type one of these here blog things:

This is a picture taken during college.


The unedited original is a nude photo. Right now, it’s covered in 10 Photoshopped pieces of clothing: There are two gloves, two sleeves, a shirt, two shoes, two pant legs, and a crotch piece.

For every ten votes I get, I’ll remove a piece of clothing.

Since I already have 113 votes, I’ll start by taking off a glove!


Go vote for Avitable!

(Or you can just use the voting widget right here! I’m at the bottom of this list if you don’t scroll down at all.)

For Episode Eight of “Clearly, you’re retarded”, Britt and I will be fucking each other’s shit up at 9 PM EST on Talkshoe. The topic tonight is the drinking age – Should it be lowered? Should it be raised? What’s fair? What’s right? Join in on the fun by listening live! You can listen live online at, or download the Talkshoe application and you can chat and even call in!

48 thoughts on “Remember that movie Major League?”

  1. I voted. At least, I think I did. There was no submit button or anything…

    and I’m so not convinced that you’re actually nude in this photo. You don’t have an “I’m nude” look on your face.

  2. Your comment about there needing to be 12 votes really hit me hard. That is a BRILLIANT idea! The fact that there are 12 or less of us in our little blog circle doesn’t hurt, either…

    However, the concept of you nude Major League style is enough to make me hack in and monitor the voting, so that for every 10 votes you get, I remove 5 votes automatically.

    Remember, there’s no crying in vote-fixingavita-ball!

  3. I voted! I’m not sure I realize the consequences of what I’ve just done. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m legally blind.

    You’re a very talented Photoshopper. Those are some rockin’ pants!

  4. I had to foresake all those other hotties to vote for you. You better be nak’d and not in some “nude” bodysuit or “nude” pantyhouse or other nonsense. You risk having henchmen crash that Halloween party of yours to get the real beef. :crazywife:

    By the way, you crazy!

  5. God dammit Adam. If you are actually nude in that picture and I see you nude…AGAIN, I am going to be pissed.

    Oh, and if you’re actually nude in that picture and you posed for it in college and kept it since college, I may come to your Halloween party just to punch you in the cock.

    with an oven mitt on of course. skin on skin contact with a man’s genitals automatically makes you gay. If you’re a dood I mean. If you’re a chick, that’s totally cool and means you are popular.

  6. When you said you were removing one right now, I expected that you would start with the crotch piece. But then I thought you’re supposed to bribe us with something we have not yet seen. πŸ˜‰

    How about a video of you eating chicken wings with your hands? I have a whole lab of computers ready to vote…

  7. I thought you were supposed to be trying to get people to vote for you? This is not the way.

    You should have started out with the nude photo, and put one piece of clothes back on for every 100 votes you get.

  8. You really are slacking – you should’ve started whoring yourself earlier. I didn’t even know you were in the running. So I voted for ::cough::NYCWD::cough:: yesterday but if I had known that I could get to see yet another picture of your sac, cuz seeing it everytime I turn on my computer just isn’t enough – well now, that’d be a whole different ballgame.

    Let this be a lesson to you – whore early and whore often.

  9. I’m pretty sure I voted for you. I only saw one Adam Avitable on the list and my mouse hovered over that entry and I’m sure that’s when I clicked the left mouse button (well, I’m using a Mighty Mouse on my MacBook Pro, which only has one button).

    Your channeling “Flashdance” in that picture.

  10. Again with the cash and prizes??!

    I thought you would have been a serious student in college and wouldn’t have been posing for nude pictures instead of spending your time more wisely on studying.
    (Geez, I sound like some college student’s Mom. Oh yeah, I am some college student’s Mom)

  11. AmyD, yeah, I’ve bolted my door.

    Blondefabulous, were you satisfied?

    BlondeBlogger, I think nudity always wins!

    Em, oh, I am nude.

    Gina, thanks for voting – I’m guessing you found it by now.

    Bluepaintred, no, I was starting from that point forward.

    Dave2, you should have sent cash.

    Amanda, I owe it to Major League.

    Whall, you wouldn’t! *gasp*

    Ioma, so does that mean you’ll have to feel the images by touch?

    Sybil Law, are you happy now?

    NYCWatchdog, you ended up doing pretty well.

    Jay, I appreciate your vote, even if it made you queasy.

    Penny, you asked, I delivered.

    Sarah, all of those private emails where you ask for naked pictures.

    Dan, I bet you see testicles all day long.

    Scout’s Honor, oh, I was naked alright.

    Libragirl, awesome, thanks!

    Britt, I’ll stop putting my balls on your head when you’re trying to work.

    HG, you could have voted for both of us, just using different computers.

    Todd, you should come to the party anyways.

    BE Earl, bodysuit, eh?

    Faiqa, it’s okay – I know you really want to see it.

    Mike, that would be too horrifying!

    Evil Genius, my outfit was great, wasn’t it?

    Poppy, he was a great contender!

    Bucky, just let your wife read the post instead.

    Finn, so you want an Avitable blow-up doll?

    Maman, I was fucking trendy!

    Hello, thanks for your vote(s)!

    TrishK, you ARE a bad blogger friend!

    Robin, you should start a best boobs calendar.

    Maria, it might have gotten trapped in your spam filter.

    Beth, schwaverage.

    Sheila, thanks for the whore lessons!

    Marty, thanks for thinking you voted.

    Hilly, well, we know you nominated Dave and Vahid at least, so I’m guessing it was one of those two or Karl!

    B, I’m full of creativity. Or something.

    Jen, scarred? It should have been an enlightening experience.

    Liquid, but Dave didn’t win!

    Elisa, thanks!

    Stephanie, I would have if i had started the contest immediately.

    Mrs. G, that’s not pushy at all!

    Kay, Avitable nudity – what else could you be expecting?

    LMSS, I did some studying, too.

    Ghost of Keywork, you managed to pull it off sans nudity. Well done!

    Kylah, it’s illegal in four states.

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