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I have lazy-brained readers. Oh, and there are prizes.

Last week, I wrote a post that made you use your brains. And most of you lazy fuckers did what I expected – said your brain hurt and didn’t bother putting in the effort to think. However, a select few of you stepped up to the plate and came up with with a brand new word (by adding, deleting, or changing one letter from an existing dictionary word) and definition.

I was going to pick the best one and give that person a T-shirt from my Zazzle store, but I’m having a hard time deciding between the finalists.

I’ve got it narrowed down to my six favorites. Use the comments to vote and tell me which one you like the best so I can give away this T-shirt already! Here are your choices:

1. Kindergarter – Suggestive lingerie for kindergartners. (From Coal Miner’s Granddaughter)

2. Flexicography – Making up words for use in Scrabble. (From Danalyn)

3. Chickpee – Group of women convening in the restroom to discuss their dates. (From Val)

4. Crudit – When your credit isn’t worth the crap on the bottom of your shoes. (From Always Home and Uncool)

5. Trampage – When a person runs through sexual partners like a runaway train. (From Miss Britt)

6. Penid – A penis that is not as large in reality as it is in the owner’s mind. (From Me!)


I also did a video post last Saturday where I tried a bacon chocolate candy bar, and I said that I’d choose a random commenter to get an extra bacon bar.

That winner is Laurin, from “Laurin and Kelly Talk“! Congratulations, and email me at my first name (adam) at my last name (avitable) dot com so that I can mail you your prize.


Finally, we’re only 12 raffle tickets away from our goal. They’re only $7 each, and you could win a free T-shirt or even a round-trip ticket to Orlando! The raffle is only open for one more week, so if you’re going to buy a ticket, now’s the time!











Who is the ticket for?



(If the button doesn’t appear, click here.)

And, of course, you can visit http://www.avitable.com/neverwas for up-to-date information about the Halloween party in less than six weeks.

Have a good weekend and may weasels not feast on your innards while you sleep.

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57 Replies to “I have lazy-brained readers. Oh, and there are prizes.”

  1. Grant

    Even though I am now imagining Japanese children in lingerie, I vote for Chickpee. That’s girl children, btw – I’m not weird or anything.

    So, you took the day off from posting yesterday AND didn’t respond to your readers’ comments. You’re the most 9/11 celebratin’ dude of them all.

  2. Finn

    See, know I have to think again. You suck — and not in a good way.

    Um… shit… trampage, because I think it’s going to find it’s way into my vocabulary in short order. Of course chickpee was funny too… OK, OK, trampage!

  3. whall

    LAST MINUTE ENTRY ALERT!
    LAST MINUTE ENTRY ALERT!
    LAST MINUTE ENTRY ALERT!
    LAST MINUTE ENTRY ALERT!

    jloviate: to orate profusely like Jennifer Lopez

    example: “People equate sexy with promiscuous. People are also surprised I know the meaning of the word equate. They think that because I’m shaped this way, I must be scandalous — like running around and bringing men into my hotel room. But it’s just the opposite. And by opposite I mean not the same. I don’t stay in no mo-tel. I’ts a Jlo-tel. Uh-huh (snaps fingers) dat’s right.”

  4. Coal Miner's Granddaughter

    Dude, make this difficult why don’t you. I can’t vote for myself because then that looks just pitiful, considering I’m losing by, like, a zillions points. But I also can’t vote for anyone else because that would take votes away from my pitiful word and I would have no chance of winning. But, of course, I have no chance of winning anyway.

    So, I’m just going to go and self-destruct. :loser:

  5. Karen Sugarpants

    Also love chickpee!

    I did read that original post but I couldn’t get through to comments. I should have emailed you with this one my father-in-law made up:

    CRUNTISH

    When a woman is both crabby and acting like a cunt.

    We say it all the time here…lol!

  6. Avitable

    Amanda, I’m sure you do.

    Danalyn, but Avitabile isn’t derived from a dictionary word.

    Dee, that’s two for chickpee!

    Hilly, three!

    Penny, I thought penid was genius. It might be too smart for people, though.

    BPR, you’re a dirty person.

    Redneck Mommy, known or been on a trampage?

    Mike, unfortunately, you’re right about it not being a dictionary word, yet.

    BE Earl, the original word is “chickpea” – “Also called garbanzo. a widely cultivated plant, Cicer arietinum, of the legume family, bearing pods containing pealike seeds.”

    Just Beth, you want my what now?

    Kailey, I wish I’d been a victim of a trampage.

    Penelope, it’s a perfect word.

    Dani, that is a good one, too. It actually sounds like it should be a real word.

    Britt, so you thought it was a real word? Heh.

    Hello, gaggle of gargoyles?

    Iddly, chickpee is in the definite lead.

    SciFi Dad, no love for penid?

    Hallie, it’s funny because it’s true!

    Bubblewench, you’ve been trampaging?

    Kapgar, it had a kernel of awesome in it, but the others were better.

    Nancy, thanks for voting!

    Lisa, I said I hope that they don’t feast on your innards!

    Maria, dirty, dirty girl.

    Gwen, your window, actually.

    Grant, I’ve been busy in the real world. Just now getting caught up.

    Finn, you were a trampager, be honest.

    Robin, you must not have been very good!

    Bossy, “deftinition” was a runner up. I liked it a lot!

    Faiqa, ooh, didn’t vote for Britt? She’ll cut ya!

    Barbie, it looks like a definite winner.

    Whall, Nobama – is that when someone goes out of their way to avoid driving through Alabama when they have to go from Florida anywhere to the Northwest?

    Always, chickpee is powerful indeed.

    Sybil, she doesn’t, actually. She’s a shitty friend.

    Greg T, thanks!

    RW, you missed it. You would have liked it, too.

    Ioma, did she make whistling sounds when she walked?

    Wayne, too late!

    NYCWD, nah, me either!

    RW, you don’t understand the rules.

    Heather, oh noes! I made teh Heatherbot blow up!

    Stephanie, me too.

    Clown, that was my favorite.

    Poppy, bitten is already a word. Sorry.

    Danalyn, it’s neck and neck.

    Marty, works for you as in you like golden showers?

    Mari, finally! Two people see my genius.

    Evil Genius, and I thought you liked me.

    Karen, I don’t get it. What does “crunt” mean?

    Laurin, thanks for voting!

    Winter, what, and penid wasn’t clever?

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