Last week, I wrote a post that made you use your brains. And most of you lazy fuckers did what I expected - said your brain hurt and didn't bother putting in the effort to think. However, a select few of you stepped up to the plate and came up with with a brand new word (by adding, deleting, or changing one letter from an existing dictionary word) and definition.
I was going to pick the best one and give that person a T-shirt from my Zazzle store, but I'm having a hard time deciding between the finalists.
I've got it narrowed down to my six favorites. Use the comments to vote and tell me which one you like the best so I can give away this T-shirt already! Here are your choices:
1. Kindergarter - Suggestive lingerie for kindergartners. (From Coal Miner's Granddaughter)
2. Flexicography - Making up words for use in Scrabble. (From Danalyn)
3. Chickpee - Group of women convening in the restroom to discuss their dates. (From Val)
4. Crudit - When your credit isn't worth the crap on the bottom of your shoes. (From Always Home and Uncool)
5. Trampage - When a person runs through sexual partners like a runaway train. (From Miss Britt)
6. Penid - A penis that is not as large in reality as it is in the owner's mind. (From Me!)
I also did a video post last Saturday where I tried a bacon chocolate candy bar, and I said that I'd choose a random commenter to get an extra bacon bar.
That winner is Laurin, from "Laurin and Kelly Talk"! Congratulations, and email me at my first name (adam) at my last name (avitable) dot com so that I can mail you your prize.
Finally, we're only 12 raffle tickets away from our goal. They're only $7 each, and you could win a free T-shirt or even a round-trip ticket to Orlando! The raffle is only open for one more week, so if you're going to buy a ticket, now's the time!
(If the button doesn't appear, click here.)
And, of course, you can visit http://www.avitable.com/neverwas for up-to-date information about the Halloween party in less than six weeks.
Have a good weekend and may weasels not feast on your innards while you sleep.
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
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I like chickpee
Comments by Amanda
Well, DUH. I vote for mine.
No, seriously...out of your list, I like Crudit.
BUT...my overall favorite was Avitabile.
Comments by Danalyn
Chickpee is just gold :D
Comments by Dee
Chickpee for the win!
Comments by Hilly
I choose penis. I mean penid.
Comments by penny
Kindergarter!
Comments by bluepaintred
I have to vote for Miss Britt and trampage.
I'm thinking I've known a few of those type of peeps.
Comments by Redneck Mommy
Danalyn: Thanks ! But I think Avitabile was diqualified because "Avitable" is not a dictionnary word... yet. ;-)
Avi: From your finalists, I like "crudit".
Comments by Mike
I don't get what the original word form of "chickpee" is, so I have to vote for my second favorite...Trampage.
Comments by B.E. Earl
You are a dick.
And I'm OK with that.
xo
b.
Comments by just beth
I vote for Trampage. I've known too many girls who have gone on trampages not to vote for it.
Comments by Kailey
Chickpee made me snort!
Comments by Penelope
flexicography
Comments by Dani
Wouldn't this have been easier with a poll?
I VOTE TRAMPAGE!
Mainly because I wasn't aware until I met you that this wasn't a common word everyone knew. LOL
Comments by Miss Britt
hmmmmmm. chickpee? trampage? chickpee? trampage?
yeah, i gotta go trampge for the win. coz, well. ummm. ya know, i've considered it. and i hate when the gaggle of gargoyles is in my way when i gotta pee!
Comments by hello haha narf
Comments by iddly
I vote for crudit, honourable mention to trampage.
Comments by SciFi Dad
Trampage! How awesome is that!!
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
Comments by Hallie
I'm all for Trampage, been on a few myself...
Comments by bubblewench
No "cornography"??? Recount!
Comments by kapgar
Chickpee ... oh yea
Comments by Nancy
I vote for trampage.
Weasels feasting on our innards while we sleep? That's just creepy to think about. You really hate your readers, don't you? ;)
Comments by Lisa
I snickered at 'kindergarter'. That has my vote.
Comments by Maria
How did you know I have a weasel problem? Are you outside my house right now?
Comments by Gwen
Also, I vote for trampage.
Comments by Gwen
Even though I am now imagining Japanese children in lingerie, I vote for Chickpee. That's girl children, btw - I'm not weird or anything.
So, you took the day off from posting yesterday AND didn't respond to your readers' comments. You're the most 9/11 celebratin' dude of them all.
Comments by Grant
See, know I have to think again. You suck — and not in a good way.
Um... shit... trampage, because I think it's going to find it's way into my vocabulary in short order. Of course chickpee was funny too... OK, OK, trampage!
Comments by Finn
Am I back at school? I worked very hard giving fellatio for my 2.5 grade average.
Comments by Robin
And what? 'Deftinition' was chopped liver?
How about this one: vreli
What is it? Chopped liver.
Comments by BOSSY
Chickpee.
Comments by Faiqa
Comments by Barbie
I write-in "deftinition" but will accept chickpee.
And FTW, NObama - I don't think I need to define that one :)
Comments by whall
I admit, I have been outdone by chickpee. Again.
Comments by always home and uncool
I have to go with crudit. Or chickpee. Hmm.. I choose crudit.
Trampage is awesome, but I figured Miss Britt already has a tee or two. :D
Comments by Sybil Law
CHICKPEE is the best...
Comments by greg t
Contest. What contest?
Comments by RW
Trampage.
I used to have a roommate who was on a perpetual trampage. It was just sad after a while.
Comments by Ioma
LAST MINUTE ENTRY ALERT!
LAST MINUTE ENTRY ALERT!
LAST MINUTE ENTRY ALERT!
LAST MINUTE ENTRY ALERT!
jloviate: to orate profusely like Jennifer Lopez
example: "People equate sexy with promiscuous. People are also surprised I know the meaning of the word equate. They think that because I'm shaped this way, I must be scandalous — like running around and bringing men into my hotel room. But it's just the opposite. And by opposite I mean not the same. I don't stay in no mo-tel. I'ts a Jlo-tel. Uh-huh (snaps fingers) dat's right."
Comments by whall
Flexicography.
Not that I ever do it while playing Scrabble or anything.
Comments by NYCWD
I would have just said coprocopia and pointed at the TV.
Comments by RW
Dude, make this difficult why don't you. I can't vote for myself because then that looks just pitiful, considering I'm losing by, like, a zillions points. But I also can't vote for anyone else because that would take votes away from my pitiful word and I would have no chance of winning. But, of course, I have no chance of winning anyway.
So, I'm just going to go and self-destruct.
Comments by Coal Miner's Granddaughter
Chickpee...made me giggle.
Comments by Stephanie
I vote for Cack.
Comments by Clown
You didn't pick my word?
I am genuinely, actually crying now. Like, real tears.
I vote for Danalyn.
Comments by Poppy
Whoo hoo! I have 2 votes! Look out, Britt, I'm catching up! lol
Comments by Danalyn
Chickpee works for me
Comments by martymankins
Penid!
It's just awesome.
Comments by Mari
Chickpee!!!! But penid is a close second.
Comments by Evil Genius
Also love chickpee!
I did read that original post but I couldn't get through to comments. I should have emailed you with this one my father-in-law made up:
CRUNTISH
When a woman is both crabby and acting like a cunt.
We say it all the time here...lol!
Comments by Karen Sugarpants
My first blogosphere win - a bacon chocolate bar! No declining here. I want it! I happen to like weird and exotic chocolate.
Thanks
Chickpee. Oh yeah. Ding, ding, ding.
Comments by Laurin
I like Kevin's. Very clever. Crudit gets my vote.
Comments by Winter
Amanda, I'm sure you do.
Danalyn, but Avitabile isn't derived from a dictionary word.
Dee, that's two for chickpee!
Hilly, three!
Penny, I thought penid was genius. It might be too smart for people, though.
BPR, you're a dirty person.
Redneck Mommy, known or been on a trampage?
Mike, unfortunately, you're right about it not being a dictionary word, yet.
BE Earl, the original word is "chickpea" - "Also called garbanzo. a widely cultivated plant, Cicer arietinum, of the legume family, bearing pods containing pealike seeds."
Just Beth, you want my what now?
Kailey, I wish I'd been a victim of a trampage.
Penelope, it's a perfect word.
Dani, that is a good one, too. It actually sounds like it should be a real word.
Britt, so you thought it was a real word? Heh.
Hello, gaggle of gargoyles?
Iddly, chickpee is in the definite lead.
SciFi Dad, no love for penid?
Hallie, it's funny because it's true!
Bubblewench, you've been trampaging?
Kapgar, it had a kernel of awesome in it, but the others were better.
Nancy, thanks for voting!
Lisa, I said I hope that they don't feast on your innards!
Maria, dirty, dirty girl.
Gwen, your window, actually.
Grant, I've been busy in the real world. Just now getting caught up.
Finn, you were a trampager, be honest.
Robin, you must not have been very good!
Bossy, "deftinition" was a runner up. I liked it a lot!
Faiqa, ooh, didn't vote for Britt? She'll cut ya!
Barbie, it looks like a definite winner.
Whall, Nobama - is that when someone goes out of their way to avoid driving through Alabama when they have to go from Florida anywhere to the Northwest?
Always, chickpee is powerful indeed.
Sybil, she doesn't, actually. She's a shitty friend.
Greg T, thanks!
RW, you missed it. You would have liked it, too.
Ioma, did she make whistling sounds when she walked?
Wayne, too late!
NYCWD, nah, me either!
RW, you don't understand the rules.
Heather, oh noes! I made teh Heatherbot blow up!
Stephanie, me too.
Clown, that was my favorite.
Poppy, bitten is already a word. Sorry.
Danalyn, it's neck and neck.
Marty, works for you as in you like golden showers?
Mari, finally! Two people see my genius.
Evil Genius, and I thought you liked me.
Karen, I don't get it. What does "crunt" mean?
Laurin, thanks for voting!
Winter, what, and penid wasn't clever?
Comments by Avitable
yeah, bar girls...gar goyles...gargoyles.
hate when i gotta pee and there are too many women in the bathroom gabbing instead of getting out of my way.
Comments by hello haha narf
Hello, that's almost as weird as "yinz"!
Comments by Avitable
Thanks for all the chickpee votes! Adam, I vote for mine... With respect to today's financial events, crudit made me laugh.
Comments by Valerie
Chickpee!
Comments by Clayton
Val and Clayton, I think you might be the winner. I'll have to announce it tomorrow.
Comments by Avitable