I'm creating my own meme. Link back here if you decide to do it yourself:
My favorite age: 26
My best friend: Britt
My celebrity crush: Sarah Silverman. Or Avril Lavigne. Kristen Bell. Emma Watson. Natalie Portman.
My defining characteristic: Physically? My smile. Emotionally? My sense of humor.
My most evil moment: Dumping a girl in high school when she wouldn't give me a blowjob.
My favorite food: Birthday cake.
My grossest injury: Once I scraped the head of my penis.
My biggest hatred: Stupid people
My most illegal activity: When I was in high school and college, I stole quite a bit.
My need for justice: When I see idiot drivers who are making the road a danger, I have to teach them a lesson!
My most knowledgeable field: I tend to know a little about a lot, rather than focus in one specific field. Although I do study comedy and humor extensively.
My life's goal: Retire young and travel the world.
My mother's influence: She taught me dark humor, how to laugh at anything, and how to manipulate damn near anyone.
My nerdiest point: That was probably role-playing "Vampire: The Masquerade" in the Commerce School classrooms in college.
My oldest memory: I remember climbing out of my crib and figuring out how to put on the TV to watch Sesame Street. My mother says I was 2.
My perfect date: I'm a simple guy. My perfect date would be going to see a good movie, then going out for burgers and ice cream.
My unanswered question: If there is eternity, wouldn't it be horrible?
My random fact: I've never eaten a chicken wing.
My stupidest decision: I should have gone to Japan for a semester in college.
My favorite television show: Currently on air? 30 Rock. Of all time? Buffy the Vampire Slayer
My style of underwear: Boxer briefs. I wear them around like shorts.
My favorite vegetable: None. I guess I can handle iceberg lettuce if there is lots of dressing.
My weakest trait: I have very little restraint.
My X-men power: Healing ability. And adamantium claws.
My strongest yearning: To be loved by millions.
My moment of Zen: Driving fast at night with the windows down and music blasting.
If you're new to the horrors of Avitable.com, don't miss out. Subscribe to my RSS feed!
Did you like this post?
posted by 
filed under 
tagged 
Bitch should have given you a blow job
Comments by Amanda
funny....I got dumped by a guy in high school for that exact reason.
Comments by bluepaintred
Hey! You're manipulating me right now! Stop it!
Comments by whall
I'm in the middle of watching Buffy again and I love it so much. I mean really, why can't they make a show this good again?
Comments by Hilly
All hail glorious Buffy!
Best TV show evah!
(Um, those are my X-Men powers too. Snikety-Snikt)
Comments by B.E. Earl
My favourite show is actually Firefly, but I wonder if that's because it didn't have time to have a "sucky" period... Of course Gilmore Girls is right up there too, but to this day I don't like the way they left Rory and Logan.
Comments by Dee
What the fuck were you doing that you scraped your penis?! (Don't say it was dragging along the ground - heh!)
Comments by Penelope
Great meme. I'll do it - as soon as I get power. Typing all that intomy iPhone would make me crazy.
J.
Comments by HoosierGirl
Funny answers. Wish I knew how to manipulate people. LOL! I suck at that one.
And hilarious about dumping the girl who wouldn't blow.
Random - my 2 y.o. hasn't slept in a crib in over a year and can turn the TV on and even select the DVD she'd like to watch. She's wild!!!
Good meme - I might do it if TMI Tuesday isn't any good this week. ;)
Comments by Elisa
If you can amend item Z with "through quiet, sleepy neighborhoods," then I'm on board with you!
Comments by kapgar
you dumped her coz she wouldn't blow you? bastard. (ummm, not that i ever had that problem in high school, or now for that matter, but still, that was so wrong!)
"adamantium" cracked me up.
those of us over here every day might not be millions, but being loved by tens is good, right?
Comments by hello haha narf
TMI sucked. I did yours instead. :)
Comments by Elisa
Great meme, I really feel like we've bonded now. You can cry if you want.
Comments by Robin
Awwww, thanks.
Comments by Miss Britt
Not one chicken wing ever? I'm in shock. 30 Rock is clearly the best show on television.
Still laughing at Penelope's comment. You might need to set her straight.
Comments by Laurin
What Penelope asked. Inquiring minds and all...
Comments by Finn
You wouldn't have scraped your dick if you would have checked the size of the glory hole in the confessional. Altar boys are slightly smaller than you are.
Comments by metalmom
Dear Jon Stewart, I really don't think dumping a girl for not giving you a blowjob is your most evil moment. It sounds extremely typical.
I can think of other evil moments that supercede the one you think is most evil.
What's so awesome about 26, by the way?
Comments by Poppy
Is this the same man who had all the wives weeping and all the men saying "WTF?" just a relatively short time again?
Comments by Sheila (Charm School Reject)
You do have a nice smile.
Comments by Em
So you dumped the girl who wouldn't give you head but kept the one who scraped your penis?
I totally understand.
Comments by NYCWD
BUFFY!! Love her. Like, totally.
Comments by Faiqa
Being Wolverine would have been super nice when you had that scraped dick.
Comments by Maria
Done.
(Although I wasn't kidding about the mind's eye thing. Yikes.)
Comments by some girl
I'm with you on Buffy, although Angel is of course a close second.
xo
Comments by Princess of the Universe
i am not putting my website in - too much hassle on my BIL's craptastic laptop!!!
anyway, dumping a girl for no BJ is a necessary evil!
i will do this meme when i get my power back on!
someone shoot me!
Comments by Sybil Law
Do a real meme.
Comments by Grant
Fun meme. Maybe my nerd moment should have been that I can't resist memes, lol.
Comments by TrishaJ
Alright - I did it. Yay you - you brought me out of retirement.
Comments by Sheila (Charm School Reject)
Scraping the head of your penis?
Comments by martymankins
How in the hell did you.....nope, nevermind. Scratch that question.
I did it on my blog today. The meme, not scraping my....oh geez.
Comments by Cricky
I'm not a big fan of memes when it comes to filling them out myself, but I love reading other people's answers and learning more about them. It's even cooler to see what items you picked when coming up with your own.
Comments by Atomic Bombshell
Amanda, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh God, that made me laugh.
BPR, really? But you're a horndog.
Whall, never!
Hilly, they tried with Angel. And got really close.
BE Earl, Wolverine buddies!
Dee, Firefly was amazing, but too short to be my absolute favorite.
Penelope, I accidentally zipped it up.
HG, I bet!
Elisa, your 2-year old is a criminal mastermind!
Kapgar, I'm glad you saw that this was alphabetical. Not everybody got that.
Hello, I was totally an asshole when I did that.
Elisa, sweet!
Robin, I'm sobbing now.
Britt, I figured you'd comment on the fact that I actually answered these truthfully for once.
Laurin, not one chicken wing, ever. Ew!
Finn, my zipper caught it.
Metalmom, damn - you're right!
Poppy, wait - you know of other evil moments that I did? Email them to me!
Sheila, I don't know what you mean. I was a chauvinistic jerk in high school, if that's what you're referring to.
Em, you mean penis, right?
NYCWD, exactly!
Faiqa, you're a Buffy fan, too? Damn you're awesome.
Maria, true, but I probably would have scraped it more with my claws. Snickety.
Some Girl, you want my what now?
PotU, yes, it is. And Firefly is somewhere in there too.
Sybil, laptops are easy to type on, pussy.
Grant, I did yours way back then!
TrishaJ, that can't be your nerdiest moment.
Sheila, about time!
Marty Mankins, be careful when zipping.
Cricky, oh geez indeed.
Atomic Bombshell, I tried to write one that was a bit more interesting. You noticed that it was based on the alphabet, right?
Comments by Avitable
Sorry to disappoint! I've never had below the belt contact with any one other than Hubs.
Comments by bluepaintred
Dude. You dumped chicks for not giving head in high school?
Holy shit. Suddenly my high school years are becoming crystal clear. No wonder I couldn't keep a boyfriend.
In my defense, I was worried I would accidentally chew the dang things off.
Comments by Redneck Mommy
Best Buffy episode ever? Hush. I dare you to argue! Joss Whedon for president.
Comments by Anissa@Hope4Peyton
Best Buffy Episode Ever: Doppleganger (Who didn't love Evil Willow?). Although Hush was very good.
Comments by Faiqa Khan
I still miss Buffy. It pretty much defined my high school years.
Comments by Sarah
I meant that tongue-in-cheek. I've gotta get better at expressing emotion in my words.
A chauvenistic (I think I butchered that word) jerk on the mathletes - who'da thunk it?
Comments by Sheila (Charm School Reject)
BPR, I just figured you were, like, an expert!
Redneck Mommy, just one girl, and I feel horrible about it.
Anissa and Faiqa, you're both wrong. It was "Once More, With Feeling."
Sarah, I love watching the reruns.
Sheila, I was a Republican, too!
Comments by Avitable
Isn't that the one where they're all singing? I thought you had to be gay to like that one.
And besides, why do I detect an air of authority in your pronouncement of Anissa and I being wrong?! Do you have some Buffy Decoder Ring that makes you the King of Buffydom, er, Sunnydale?
Comments by Faiqa Khan
Faiqa, I've seen that episode at least 100 times. It's almost a perfect hour of television.
And damn right I'm superior! I watched the series finale of BTVS with a group of over 100 fans in Los Angeles, including Amber Benson (Tara), so that gives me more cred.
Comments by Avitable
(sigh)
Oh hell, I'll do it.
Tomorrow.
I's tired.
And pukey.
G'nite.
Comments by Stephanie
Did you just name drop?! Sad.
Comments by Faiqa Khan
I fucking hate that I'm such a total meme whore. I just cannot say no to one.
Well, except Grant's.
Comments by SJ
Here's me linking back here (if that's what you meant): http://fantasywriterguy.blogspot.com/2008/09/my.html
Comments by Fantasy Writer Guy
HEY! I usually avoid memes but I rather liked this one! Thanks Avitable :)
Mine is up!
Comments by Breigh (Canadutch)
I'd like elaboration on how you dumped the chick in high school.
Comments by DrZibbs
Dammit, I commented yesterday - I swear I did! Where did it go???? Grrrrrrr....
Well, basically what I said was now I demand a post on how in the holy hell you scraped the head of your penis. But it was written much funnier, of course. Dammit.
And in answer to your comment on my blog, nope, I'm not a lawyer. But I've spent over 25 years working within the legal system as a legal secretary and paralegal and I've seen it from just about every angle - working with an Army Staff Judge Advocate for 12 years (as a federal civil servant), then working for family and criminal attorneys in private practice, then working in the detective bureau of a sheriff's department and in a city police department. Although over the years I have sometimes wished I would have become an attorney, I actually wouldn't trade a minute of my experiences. It's been a great ride. But I totally admire anyone who has gotten that degree. I love love love the law, even when it sometimes makes me so angry I want to scream.
Comments by Evil Genius
Stephanie, hope you feel better!
Faiqa, sure as hell did, and with no shame at all, too.
SJ, especially a genius one like this one.
FWG, I just meant putting a link in your post to me or this post. Thanks!
Breigh, thank you!
Zibbs, it was my evil moment. I've shut it out of my memory.
EG, I caught it in my zipper. And I love the law, too - just never wanted to practice it!
Comments by Avitable
Stealing this for Saturday. Ktxbai!
Comments by LeSombre
Shamelessly stolen today and credited to the one and only Avitable
Comments by cajunvegan
That's one of my Zen moments too. Cool meme. I copied the questions and did this over on my blog today and of course, linked it back to here. Have a great day.
Comments by Amorous Rocker
LeSombre, kthxbaibbq.
Cajunvegan, we're lucky I'm the one and only. More of me would be scary.
Amorous Rocker, thanks for the visit and comment!
Comments by Avitable
It's my first visit to your site, but it won't be my last!
Comments by JHS