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My . . .

I’m creating my own meme. Link back here if you decide to do it yourself:

My favorite age: 26

My best friend: Britt

My celebrity crush: Sarah Silverman. Or Avril Lavigne. Kristen Bell. Emma Watson. Natalie Portman.

My defining characteristic: Physically? My smile. Emotionally? My sense of humor.

My most evil moment: Dumping a girl in high school when she wouldn’t give me a blowjob.

My favorite food: Birthday cake.

My grossest injury: Once I scraped the head of my penis.

My biggest hatred: Stupid people

My most illegal activity: When I was in high school and college, I stole quite a bit.

My need for justice: When I see idiot drivers who are making the road a danger, I have to teach them a lesson!

My most knowledgeable field: I tend to know a little about a lot, rather than focus in one specific field. Although I do study comedy and humor extensively.

My life’s goal: Retire young and travel the world.

My mother’s influence: She taught me dark humor, how to laugh at anything, and how to manipulate damn near anyone.

My nerdiest point: That was probably role-playing “Vampire: The Masquerade” in the Commerce School classrooms in college.

My oldest memory: I remember climbing out of my crib and figuring out how to put on the TV to watch Sesame Street. My mother says I was 2.

My perfect date: I’m a simple guy. My perfect date would be going to see a good movie, then going out for burgers and ice cream.

My unanswered question: If there is eternity, wouldn’t it be horrible?

My random fact: I’ve never eaten a chicken wing.

My stupidest decision: I should have gone to Japan for a semester in college.

My favorite television show: Currently on air? 30 Rock. Of all time? Buffy the Vampire Slayer

My style of underwear: Boxer briefs. I wear them around like shorts.

My favorite vegetable: None. I guess I can handle iceberg lettuce if there is lots of dressing.

My weakest trait: I have very little restraint.

My X-men power: Healing ability. And adamantium claws.

My strongest yearning: To be loved by millions.

My moment of Zen: Driving fast at night with the windows down and music blasting.

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55 Replies to “My . . .”

  1. Dee

    My favourite show is actually Firefly, but I wonder if that’s because it didn’t have time to have a “sucky” period… Of course Gilmore Girls is right up there too, but to this day I don’t like the way they left Rory and Logan. :crazywife: :pissed:

  2. Elisa

    Funny answers. Wish I knew how to manipulate people. LOL! I suck at that one.

    And hilarious about dumping the girl who wouldn’t blow.

    Random – my 2 y.o. hasn’t slept in a crib in over a year and can turn the TV on and even select the DVD she’d like to watch. She’s wild!!!

    Good meme – I might do it if TMI Tuesday isn’t any good this week. 😉

  3. hello haha narf

    you dumped her coz she wouldn’t blow you? bastard. (ummm, not that i ever had that problem in high school, or now for that matter, but still, that was so wrong!)

    “adamantium” cracked me up.

    those of us over here every day might not be millions, but being loved by tens is good, right?

  4. Poppy

    Dear Jon Stewart, I really don’t think dumping a girl for not giving you a blowjob is your most evil moment. It sounds extremely typical.

    I can think of other evil moments that supercede the one you think is most evil.

    What’s so awesome about 26, by the way?

  5. Sybil Law

    i am not putting my website in – too much hassle on my BIL’s craptastic laptop!!!
    anyway, dumping a girl for no BJ is a necessary evil!
    i will do this meme when i get my power back on!
    someone shoot me! :violent018:

  6. Avitable

    Amanda, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh God, that made me laugh.

    BPR, really? But you’re a horndog.

    Whall, never!

    Hilly, they tried with Angel. And got really close.

    BE Earl, Wolverine buddies!

    Dee, Firefly was amazing, but too short to be my absolute favorite.

    Penelope, I accidentally zipped it up.

    HG, I bet!

    Elisa, your 2-year old is a criminal mastermind!

    Kapgar, I’m glad you saw that this was alphabetical. Not everybody got that.

    Hello, I was totally an asshole when I did that.

    Elisa, sweet!

    Robin, I’m sobbing now.

    Britt, I figured you’d comment on the fact that I actually answered these truthfully for once.

    Laurin, not one chicken wing, ever. Ew!

    Finn, my zipper caught it.

    Metalmom, damn – you’re right!

    Poppy, wait – you know of other evil moments that I did? Email them to me!

    Sheila, I don’t know what you mean. I was a chauvinistic jerk in high school, if that’s what you’re referring to.

    Em, you mean penis, right?

    NYCWD, exactly!

    Faiqa, you’re a Buffy fan, too? Damn you’re awesome.

    Maria, true, but I probably would have scraped it more with my claws. Snickety.

    Some Girl, you want my what now?

    PotU, yes, it is. And Firefly is somewhere in there too.

    Sybil, laptops are easy to type on, pussy.

    Grant, I did yours way back then!

    TrishaJ, that can’t be your nerdiest moment.

    Sheila, about time!

    Marty Mankins, be careful when zipping.

    Cricky, oh geez indeed.

    Atomic Bombshell, I tried to write one that was a bit more interesting. You noticed that it was based on the alphabet, right?

  7. Redneck Mommy

    Dude. You dumped chicks for not giving head in high school?

    Holy shit. Suddenly my high school years are becoming crystal clear. No wonder I couldn’t keep a boyfriend.

    In my defense, I was worried I would accidentally chew the dang things off.

  8. Avitable

    BPR, I just figured you were, like, an expert!

    Redneck Mommy, just one girl, and I feel horrible about it.

    Anissa and Faiqa, you’re both wrong. It was “Once More, With Feeling.”

    Sarah, I love watching the reruns.

    Sheila, I was a Republican, too!

  9. Faiqa Khan

    Isn’t that the one where they’re all singing? I thought you had to be gay to like that one.
    And besides, why do I detect an air of authority in your pronouncement of Anissa and I being wrong?! Do you have some Buffy Decoder Ring that makes you the King of Buffydom, er, Sunnydale?

  10. Avitable

    Faiqa, I’ve seen that episode at least 100 times. It’s almost a perfect hour of television.

    And damn right I’m superior! I watched the series finale of BTVS with a group of over 100 fans in Los Angeles, including Amber Benson (Tara), so that gives me more cred.

  11. Evil Genius

    Dammit, I commented yesterday – I swear I did! Where did it go???? Grrrrrrr….

    Well, basically what I said was now I demand a post on how in the holy hell you scraped the head of your penis. But it was written much funnier, of course. Dammit.

    And in answer to your comment on my blog, nope, I’m not a lawyer. But I’ve spent over 25 years working within the legal system as a legal secretary and paralegal and I’ve seen it from just about every angle – working with an Army Staff Judge Advocate for 12 years (as a federal civil servant), then working for family and criminal attorneys in private practice, then working in the detective bureau of a sheriff’s department and in a city police department. Although over the years I have sometimes wished I would have become an attorney, I actually wouldn’t trade a minute of my experiences. It’s been a great ride. But I totally admire anyone who has gotten that degree. I love love love the law, even when it sometimes makes me so angry I want to scream.

  12. Avitable

    Stephanie, hope you feel better!

    Faiqa, sure as hell did, and with no shame at all, too.

    SJ, especially a genius one like this one.

    FWG, I just meant putting a link in your post to me or this post. Thanks!

    Breigh, thank you!

    Zibbs, it was my evil moment. I’ve shut it out of my memory.

    EG, I caught it in my zipper. And I love the law, too – just never wanted to practice it!

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