Obama

I went to the Barack Obama speech in Jacksonville yesterday. I've never been to any type of political rally before, so I thought this would be an interesting and historic time to attend one.

I wouldn't be surprised if there were 20,000 people there. It was crazy, with lots of long lines, packed crowds, and people as sardines.

Spending four hours jammed in with my new closest friends was quite an experience. While mostly positive, there were a few negative elements that I'd like to briefly address:

1. Just because you're a Democratic tree hugger environmentalist wacko, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't shower and use deodorant before spending a hot day with lots of people who will have to smell you.

2. This also goes for all of you mouth breathers who don't believe in breath mints, dental hygiene, brushing your teeth, or chewing gum. Your breath smells like a three-day old cheese fart. Please duct tape your mouth shut until further notice.

3. We're all hot and we've all been standing there and we're all tired, so announcing that you're tired and hot and sweaty and sick of standing is liable to make me get stabby.

4. If you have a baby, stay the fuck home. Don't subject your infant to the heat and germs of 20,000 people just because you want to support Obama. That makes you a bad parent.

5. Just because I'm there and you're there and we're both going to vote for Obama, it doesn't mean that I have any interest in the slightest thing you have to say. That is our one thing in common, and I want to keep it that way. It keeps the mystery alive.

Well, at least it wasn't a McCain rally, where I'm sure the old people smell would have just driven me insane!

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