Check out Wal-mart's growth since its first store. It's like watching some mythical plague spread exponentially over the country.
Tonight I get to go watch two small demon children from the bowels of hell until their parents return from a NYC Hot Blogger Calendar photoshoot. Wish me luck.
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Don't die.
Comments by Dave2
i feel pressured by the fact that the "DID YOU LIKE THIS POST" is larger than your actual post.
Fix that, will ya
Comments by blueppaintred
Good luck
Comments by Amanda
Just give each of them a shot of NyQuil and they'll go right to sleep.
Comments by Jay
It's 12:53 am. Are the little ankle biters in bed yet?
If not, it's time to give them a shot of whiskey.
Comments by Mattie
I like Jay's comment.
Maybe you could make Nyquil popsicles or something.
Comments by Janna
Wal-mart is hell. Literally, I feel like I'll see horns on those employees someday.
If you die I'm totally making up a story about your death claiming I was there so I will have something other than school/work to blog about.
Just to give you a heads up.
Comments by Sarah
Good luck with the kids.
Wal-Mart wanted to open another store near us but the local government wallahs vetoed that, they let Liquidation World have the spot instead! Smoke and flood damaged crap on the cheap.
Comments by Mik
Oh, to have been a fly upon the wall! How'd it go?
Comments by Robin
Wall to Wall Mart is a scourge upon the nation.
What's the line on you or the kids surviving the day? I'd like to put down a 10 spot on the kids winning, unless you do the Nyqui-pop thing.
Comments by Blondefabulous
Nevada is still relatively Wal-Mart free should you feel the need to flee the plague.
Comments by Grant
I think it's Plague AND WalMart, right?!
I cannot STAND that fricking store!
So how'd the time with the kids go?! I am dying to hear the stories! Did they actually spend the night?!! Are you tied up right now with duct tape?! Should I send help?!
I think I'm going to nap, but I'll check in on you later.
Comments by Sybil Law
you love the little crumb snatchers. don't lie.
but be careful or they will give you germs. they licked me last time i was there...my arms, hands and cheeks. somehow i managed not to die. whatever you do, do NOT laugh the first time one of them licks you. seriously.
Comments by hello haha narf
Back east we used to count roadkill for fun on trips. Now we count Wal-Marts.
Comments by golfwidow
I'm not a fan of Wal-Mart. I do shop there at times (hard not to when it's 2 blocks away and I'm out of limes and tonic for my drinks), but I try to limit what I get there. I don't hate them or want them to go out of business, but I prefer not giving them much of my money. Target and KMart seems better options, even if they are more than 2 blocks from my house.
Comments by martymankins
is there some reason you didn't fucking nominate me for hot blogger? i mean are you fucking kidding me? have you seen me? what the hell? who are you people? EVERYBODY HATES THE LIGHT!!
when you babysit those demon ppl, you better tell them a bedtime story all about the woman who should have OWNED that calendar but never was nominated because people couldn't bare to realize that she existed. you tell them THAT if you have the balls, Adam Avitable. fuck you and your whole horse dog thing too!
Comments by Crys
bare? bear? i always get that wrong. does it matter? no it doesn't MATTER, Adam, all that MATTERS is that WOW, a prophet is never accepted in her home town. apparently. the home town? PRB. FUCK EVERYBODY! FUCK ALL YA'ALLS! EAT ME!
Comments by Crys
i'm not bitter or anything.
Comments by Crys
Day-yam! Just think, if terrorists were to adhere to Sam Walton's business strategy, we'd all be dead by germ warfare by now.
Hope the kiddos behave for you! Or maybe vice versa...
Comments by Evil Genius
if there was ever a doubt, which there totally wasn't, i fucking totally love crys. LOVE. giggling my big ole butt off at her comments. although i am so curious as to whether or not they are drug induced. could go either way. that is the beauty of crystal. hehe
Comments by hello haha narf
Crystal stole your comments.
And made me snort cake through my nose.
Not that I'm eating cake or anything.
G'nite.
Comments by Stephanie
That's pretty damn impressive! Too bad I hate Wal-Mart!
Comments by Peggy
That reminded me of the movie with the monkey that bites the guy and gives him a virus..Outbreak? Except Walmart is worse than the flesh eating virus in the movie. Much worse.
Comments by Faiqa
DEMON CHILDREN????
Comments by Miss Britt
Have you ever been to a Wal-Mart?
You really missed a great weekend. I don't care HOW GOOD the assholes behind you at Joel McHale were.
Comments by Poppy
I feel bad for folks who live in rural areas who are forced to shop at Wal*Mart.
Comments by Atomic Bombshell
Asda used to be normal and disease free. But like everything else, Wal-Mart wormed its way into Asda's orifices, transforming Asda from a humble convenience store into Wal-Mart's UK based biatch.
Comments by Qelqoth
The real plague, dear boy, is automobiles.
Comments by Fantasy Writer Guy