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I expect an explosion any second now

11:00 PM EST Saturday night. The phone rings.

“Hey, Adam.”

“Hey, brother of mine.”

“Are you at your computer?”


“Can you Google something for me?”


“Can you look for any discussion of gas leaks in a 2006 Cobalt?”

“Is your car leaking gas?”

“I don’t know. It smells like gas really strongly, and I can’t figure out where the smell is coming from.”

“Well, Google doesn’t show anything about it being a rampant problem with your specific type of car.”

“Hmm. Okay, well, I guess I’ll just look around some more.”

“K. Bye.”

5 minutes passes. The phone rings again.


“Hey Adam.”

“Did you find where the smell was coming from?”

“Yeah, it looks like my gas tank is leaking. I got on the ground with a flashlight and there’s a steady drip coming from under the car.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m hoping I can find someone to take a look at it tomorrow morning.”

“Good thinking. Hey, what’s all that noise?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it sounds like you’re in a wind tunnel.”

“Oh, well, it’s nice out.”


“And so I’m driving with the windows down.”

“You’re driving?”


“When you explode, I’m writing in your obituary that your death was expected and predicted by me.”

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28 Replies to “I expect an explosion any second now”

  1. BlondeBlogger

    Agggh! What is he thinking?!!! I had a leak in my fuel pump (or whatever it is) and didn’t know it. I kept smelling fumes and didn’t know why. Turned out to be the leak and it could’ve blown up at any time (so said the mechanic). Scary stuff!

  2. Amanda

    Nice, I finally got my brakes fixed after they’ve been going out for months. The mechanic told me if I had to slam on my breaks I would have definitely hit anything in front of me, the car would not have stopped.

  3. Katie

    Hahaha. I read this and laughed, then showed it to my boyfriend, who gave me a “look” and said, very seriously, “It’s not going to explode.”

    Hmm. He has no sense of humour. :loser:

  4. NYCWD

    A leaky gas tank does not an explosion make.

    However friction that will cause the heating up of the gas in the tank that will then expand and will result in a loud whistle before exploding can lead to death.

    Or a really well placed cigarette on the fuel trail.

  5. Manager mom

    If the tank DID explode, there’s probably some sort of comment to be made about natural selection and survival of the fittest, right?But I would certainly not be the type of person to leave that sort of horrible, insensitive comment myself.


  6. martymankins

    At least he didn’t stuff a rag in the place where the leak was coming from. I’ve seen people do that when their gas cap is missing and a giant ass rag stuffed in it’s place.

    That just screams “Hey, come light me on fire.”

    Hope he gets it fixed soon.

  7. Grant

    After the story you told about your dad rolling out of his flaming car, I’m assuming you guys are genetically predisposed to blowing up your cars. I’m predicting it’s how you’ll go.

  8. kapgar

    I was going to ask why you didn’t tell him that you would also be nominating him for a Darwin Award, but Sue beat me to the punch in a roundabout way. Oh well. Just know that two people think he deserves it.

  9. Avitable

    Blondeblogger, well, it is difficult for a gas leak to actually blow up, but still.

    Tracy, if only he was within slapping range.

    Amanda, oh, that’s not good!

    Katie, yeah, he apparently doesn’t!

    Kelley, is yours still alive by luck?

    Sue, that’s what I was thinking.

    Lisa, he was on the phone, so he wasn’t even over here.

    Poppy, I am greedy, it’s true!

    NYCWD, yeah, I know that, but it’s still flammable material that is leaving his vehicle at a high rate.

    BE Earl, be original next time, willya?

    Manager Mom, you’d be right, though.

    Hoosier Girl, I think I posted a picture in my 100 Things.

    Evil Genius, after a brush with the law regarding alcohol, I don’t think he has any open containers.

    Hello, nope! He’s definitely my kin.

    DB, that would be worth watching.

    Marty, I’ve seen that, too – it’s ridiculous!

    Grant, same here. Probably by driving on the wrong side of the road in Saint Croix.

    Faiqa, at least yours is a doctor!

    Beth, silly is one word.

    Kapgar, three – BE Earl thought so, too.

    Sybil, I don’t look at stats, so that’s okay.

    Glenda, no problem. Mine’s January 26th, so don’t forget. 😀

    Selma, well, I laughed and sighed loudly, so it’s okay.

    Crystal, maybe if you’d come visit, you’d see!

    John, are you saying you’ve done something similar?

    SciFi Dad, you’re right. Damn it!

    Atomic Bombshell, most.

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