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Vacation or hell?

Thursday, I have to go to Saint Croix for a destination wedding. It should be horrible, because there’s no internet and allegedly no cell reception. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself for four days!

Anyways, I’ve lined up some awesome guest posters for you over the next week, starting tomorrow and going for seven days straight. Also, due to the timing of the last Presidential debate tomorrow night, “Clearly, You’re Retarded” will take another break and resume with a normal schedule on 10/22.

I’m going to have a rental car, which means that I might be able to get somewhere that I can get internet and cell reception, but I’m also going to have to learn to drive on the other side of the road, which should be weird. Hopefully I don’t crash headfirst into a bus full of nuns and explode in a ball of holy flame.

Anybody have any suggestions for things to do while I’m there? Warnings on things not to do?

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41 Replies to “Vacation or hell?”

  1. Faiqa

    Don’t try to find Internet connection while you’re there. Man and womankind did just fine for thousands of years without cell phones and the Internetz (some might argue they did better). You’ll be alright for FOUR DAYS.

  2. NYCWD

    Sounds like a great time to be had!

    Except for the lack of cell service.

    And the lack of internet.

    And the prospect of dieing in a fireball.

    But I’m definitely about ramming the bus of nuns.

    Fucking penguins.

  3. RW

    Fourteen years ago I almost cashed it all in here and bought a combination tavern and upstairs lodgings about a block or two from a beach near Christiansted. But I didn’t. It was a fantasy of mine. I’d still do it if it were possible.

  4. Crys

    um, go to the beach? drink a rum drink with an umbrella in it? have a lot of sex with your hot wife? roll around in the sand having even more sex after that?

    i mean, i’m just reading from my own script…

  5. Sybil Law

    Go find a nude beach (or make your own) to take some more pictures for your HBC!
    Stay away from the guys with the dreads who try and sell you weed.
    Pack some Xanax – I don’t know how you, of all people, can survive without cell phone and internet!

  6. Avitable

    Faiqa, but if I don’t have internet, I’ll diiiieeeeeee!

    Dave2, I dinna get it.

    Nina, even the request for naked pictures?

    Amanda, I’ll try, but it will be hard.

    SJ, sounds sweaty. Ew.

    BE Earl, ok, a beer drinking pig sounds cool – reminds me of the beer drinking donkey I saw in Mexico. And I need blogs on vacay!

    Karl, just for you, I won’t get in an accident.

    Manager Mom, but what will I do for the other 23 hours and 45 minutes a day?

    Muskrat, I’ll write that one down.

    Poppy, no, that was for the Halloween party/child photo thing.

    NYCWD, I’ll probably just hide in the hotel room and watch TV the whole time.

    Britt, but what if I come back and you turned our company into a shoe store?

    RW, but what about the innernet?

    Finn, so, are you saying I should relax and enjoy spending time with my wife?

    Sheila, it’s gonna be miserable.

    Crystal, the beach has sand. So does sex on or near the beach. Ew.

    Grant, that’s the most likely.

    Ginger, I don’t drink. And what’s the asterisk for?

    Sybil, have you seen nude beaches? They’re filled with ugly people!

    Greg T, Saint Croix is a US territory, but they drive on the left-hand side of the road. However, the steering wheel is on the left side, not the right, which means I’m totally fucked.

    Turnbaby, so you think I should go look for internet in town?

    Ajooja, I would, too, if it wasn’t likely all old people and uggos.

  7. Meg

    I drove on the left side of the road in the Bahamas – the cars had the steering on the left, but we drove on the left, and went the opposite way around the roundabouts. It was surprisingly easy to get the hang of it, actually. Just… gotta pay attention, is all.

    Have fun! Unplug. It’ll be fine. Promise.

  8. Ging

    Avitable, did you really think I meant the drink??? Of course, the real thing would get you sand in some very inconvenient crevices. 😉

    The asterisk was a mistake, as I once again am obsessed as to why my picture will not show up when I comment here. Sorry ’bout that.

  9. greg t

    I have been to many nude beaches and VERY few people are old. VERY FEW…Most are under 50 and in pretty good shape. At least the women. I have never looked at the guys so I don’t know about them… :thumbsup:

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