Thursday, I have to go to Saint Croix for a destination wedding. It should be horrible, because there’s no internet and allegedly no cell reception. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself for four days!
Anyways, I’ve lined up some awesome guest posters for you over the next week, starting tomorrow and going for seven days straight. Also, due to the timing of the last Presidential debate tomorrow night, “Clearly, You’re Retarded” will take another break and resume with a normal schedule on 10/22.
I’m going to have a rental car, which means that I might be able to get somewhere that I can get internet and cell reception, but I’m also going to have to learn to drive on the other side of the road, which should be weird. Hopefully I don’t crash headfirst into a bus full of nuns and explode in a ball of holy flame.
Anybody have any suggestions for things to do while I’m there? Warnings on things not to do?
Enjoy this post? Try these:Lindsay Lohan goes to Jail
30 Days of Truth Day 8: Who made my life hell?
Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Don’t try to find Internet connection while you’re there. Man and womankind did just fine for thousands of years without cell phones and the Internetz (some might argue they did better). You’ll be alright for FOUR DAYS.
Reply
Twitter: Blogography
says:
Give my regards to Johnny Wishbone!
Reply
Twitter: Readerwrites
says:
Have a good time away from the computer, above all. When you get back I will have fulfilled my obligations to you. Love, Nina.
Reply
Twitter: Amanda234
says:
Have an awesome time
Reply
Find a comfy lounge chair by the pool or beach, and settle down with a good book and a tall Diet Coke on ice.
Reply
Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
Go to the Montpellier Domino Club, supposedly the best rum shack on the island. They have beer drinking pigs too! You can buy a beer (non-alcoholic) and feed it to one of them for a $1. What could be more fun than that?
http://www.jaunted.com/story/2008/4/8/101837/6944/travel/St.+Croix+Travel:+The+Island's+Best+Rum+Shack
Oh, and stay away from the internets and cell towers. Its a vacation, ya weirdo!
Reply
Twitter: karlerikson
says:
Have a great time! And try not to get in an accident on the wrong side of the road.
Reply
I find sex to be a useful diversion when you can’t get a decent internet connection.
Reply
Twitter: themuskrat
says:
yeah, don’t eat the yellow snow.
Reply
Twitter: poppycede
says:
Is this why you wanted to check and see if my last name has changed?!??!?!??!?!?!?!??! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I like surprises.)
Reply
Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
Sounds like a great time to be had!
Except for the lack of cell service.
And the lack of internet.
And the prospect of dieing in a fireball.
But I’m definitely about ramming the bus of nuns.
Fucking penguins.
Reply
Twitter: missbritt
says:
Do NOT hunt down cell phone or Internet. Can you not leave me the fuck alone for FOUR DAYS?!?! Seriously – four damn days!! Is that too much to ask??
I mean, um, YOU’RE ON VACATION!!
Reply
Fourteen years ago I almost cashed it all in here and bought a combination tavern and upstairs lodgings about a block or two from a beach near Christiansted. But I didn’t. It was a fantasy of mine. I’d still do it if it were possible.
Reply
Twitter: msmegan
says:
How ’bout relax and enjoy your wife? She is joining you, right? Bring the dildo…
Reply
Twitter: msmegan
says:
How ’bout relax and enjoy your wife? She is joining you, right? Bring the anniversary dildo…
Reply
Twitter: msmegan
says:
It was well worth saying twice…
Reply
Twitter: s_csr
says:
Have fun on vacation. I could probably (but not likely) survive without internet for four days but I don’t want to imagine going without my cell phone.
Reply
um, go to the beach? drink a rum drink with an umbrella in it? have a lot of sex with your hot wife? roll around in the sand having even more sex after that?
i mean, i’m just reading from my own script…
Reply
Read a thick book, masturbate constantly, and catch up on your sleep.
Reply
Twitter: GingerSnaps
says:
Four words: Sex On The Beach
Reply
Twitter: GingerSnaps
says:
*
Reply
Go find a nude beach (or make your own) to take some more pictures for your HBC!
Stay away from the guys with the dreads who try and sell you weed.
Relax!
Pack some Xanax – I don’t know how you, of all people, can survive without cell phone and internet!
Reply
You will be able to find a nude beach if you try. :boobs3: :cock: Also it is a US territory so they drive on the correct side of the road I believe. Here is a link to “things to see” http://www.usvi.net/usvi/stx/stxsi.html
Reply
If I have to tell you….. :loser:
Reply
I think there’s a naked beach in St. Croix. That’s where I’d be. :cock:
Reply
Faiqa, but if I don’t have internet, I’ll diiiieeeeeee!
Dave2, I dinna get it.
Nina, even the request for naked pictures?
Amanda, I’ll try, but it will be hard.
SJ, sounds sweaty. Ew.
BE Earl, ok, a beer drinking pig sounds cool – reminds me of the beer drinking donkey I saw in Mexico. And I need blogs on vacay!
Karl, just for you, I won’t get in an accident.
Manager Mom, but what will I do for the other 23 hours and 45 minutes a day?
Muskrat, I’ll write that one down.
Poppy, no, that was for the Halloween party/child photo thing.
NYCWD, I’ll probably just hide in the hotel room and watch TV the whole time.
Britt, but what if I come back and you turned our company into a shoe store?
RW, but what about the innernet?
Finn, so, are you saying I should relax and enjoy spending time with my wife?
Sheila, it’s gonna be miserable.
Crystal, the beach has sand. So does sex on or near the beach. Ew.
Grant, that’s the most likely.
Ginger, I don’t drink. And what’s the asterisk for?
Sybil, have you seen nude beaches? They’re filled with ugly people!
Greg T, Saint Croix is a US territory, but they drive on the left-hand side of the road. However, the steering wheel is on the left side, not the right, which means I’m totally fucked.
Turnbaby, so you think I should go look for internet in town?
Ajooja, I would, too, if it wasn’t likely all old people and uggos.
Reply
Twitter: poppycede
says:
So, you didn’t buy me a ticket to tag along for St Croix? :crying:
Reply
Yes, but you have to be able to fit in my suitcase.
Reply
I drove on the left side of the road in the Bahamas – the cars had the steering on the left, but we drove on the left, and went the opposite way around the roundabouts. It was surprisingly easy to get the hang of it, actually. Just… gotta pay attention, is all.
Have fun! Unplug. It’ll be fine. Promise.
Reply
Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
Don’t know what to do with yourself for four days with no Internet?
Lemme give you a hint.
:jerkoff2:
Blog ya when you get back!
Reply
Let’s see… Ocean / Internet. Sunshine / Internet. Drinkies / Inter… Yeah, what’s your problem again?
Reply
Meg, I still think I’m going to hit a busload of nuns.
Heather, I’ll get a sunburn!
RW, I can see the ocean and sunset on my computer!
Reply
Twitter: msmegan
says:
Yes, I think I am. By the way, the dildo is for you. Enjoy!
Reply
Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
I know a couple of dolphins down there that, if you tip well enough, will put on a private show, if you know what I mean….
Reply
Twitter: poppycede
says:
Originally I was just going to suggest you write me letters using pen and a paper but I thought I was being too obvious.
Reply
Twitter: GingerSnaps
says:
Avitable, did you really think I meant the drink??? Of course, the real thing would get you sand in some very inconvenient crevices.
The asterisk was a mistake, as I once again am obsessed as to why my picture will not show up when I comment here. Sorry ’bout that.
Reply
Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
you would have more fun if you took me with you. wish you would have given me more notice. sigh.
Reply
You are actually complaining because you get to go on vacation to a beautiful island with NO CHILDREN?? Are you SERIOUS? :loser:
j.
Reply
One year, I will make it to one of your parties. I will.
Reply
Twitter: Halushki
says:
To do: Find rum runners that profited from the bailout and tell them “you owe me” and drink yourself blind.
Not to do: Buy a “dog” and find out later that it’s a capybara.
Reply
I have been to many nude beaches and VERY few people are old. VERY FEW…Most are under 50 and in pretty good shape. At least the women. I have never looked at the guys so I don’t know about them… :thumbsup:
Reply