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Saint Croix sucks my left nut

In the tradition of Wayne’s 3-minute DITL (Day In The Life) videos, here is my 4-minute WISC (Weekend In Saint Croix) video:

Here is the direct link.

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43 Replies to “Saint Croix sucks my left nut”

  1. Hoosier Girl

    Adam, sweetie…if I ever get to meet you, I’m going to smack you. :crazywife: You were in a gorgeous tropical paradise! The view out your window was amazing, and you spent about 3 seconds on that! Who cares about cushions or rugs or remotes? I would have gone outside and stayed outside and only come in to get a fruity drink or go to sleep!

    Honestly! :banghead:


  2. ADW

    1. I would have been fucking pissed. Were there no machetes lying around?

    2. You need to start drinking. It makes almost any vacation all better.

    3. What the fuck is up with that hat?

    I woke up this morning and “Smile Time” was on the telly.

  3. Dawn

    When I was a kid at my first year of sleep-away camp, I’d write letters home that all went something like this:

    “I hate this place. You have to come pick me up and take me home. If you don’t, I’m going to run away. Come get me.”

    To which my father would reply:

    “Glad you’re having a good time. Is swimming fun?”

    I DON’T SWIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    You had a great time, right?

  4. Blondefabulous

    Too bad we couldn’t see video of you fighting the massive tropical cucarracha! That would probably pass for UFC down there!

    And was that a Mormon wedding? I swear I thought the guy said “By the power vested in me as a elder of the Mormon church..”, Just wondering…….

  5. BOSSY

    Yeah, Bossy can certainly see what you mean by sucked: one whole wet rug and a fan. What could St Croix have been thinking???!!

    And that’s not a 4-minute WISC video. It’s a 4 minute and 8 second WISC video. Bossy wants a full refund.

  6. Faiqa Khan

    Oh, Adam. Adam, Adam, Aaa-DUM. Do you think you could have lived up to the “whiny American traveler” stereotype any more than you did in those four minutes?! The island, despite your simpering, looked beautiful.

  7. Stephanie

    Some things I need to address:

    1. Your view was gorgeous.
    2. Burn that fuckin hat. Now.
    3. Amy looked beautiful!
    4. Do people really dance to Billie Jean?
    5. The “crab in the wild” comment made me pee
    a little.
    6. Burn the fuckin hat. Now.
    7. You are a spoiled brat-man.
    8. NOW.

  8. Avitable

    Dave, I dinna understan’.

    Amanda, okay, the rug in the room was soaking, dripping wet, and there were dead roaches and the service was miserable and there was cold water. It sucked!

    Angie, why are you being sarcastic? She is!

    LMSS, yup. Sooooo much fun!

    Beth, it was humid and nasty and if I’m going to pay as much as I did per night, I expect damn near perfection.

    BE Earl, she’s not my lover.

    SPD, exactly. It’s safe as long as nobody tries to walk away with it.

    HG, I was in a humid, nasty tropical paradise where the service was horrendous and I couldn’t take a hot shower. If I was only paying $50/night, I could see that.

    Kris, well, I plan on writing them a letter.

    NYCWD, it’s the legendary wild crab!

    ADW, my hat is awesome. I love Smile Time!

    Britt, it. does. NOT!

    Hello, just realize that I’m not a whiny bitch when you watch it.

    Poppy, adventurous had nothing to do with it. The storm was only one part of the shitty experience.

    Dawn, I was about to run away, too.

    Blondefabulous, nope, not Mormon. Not sure what denomination, actually.

    Sybil, it was a close fucking call.

    Bossy, the check is in the mail. And it was worse than that – we had roaches and cold showers, too.

    Jay, the wedding (of my wife’s sister) wasn’t bad – it was everything else that sucked.

    Faiqa, whiny American traveler? I’m pretty flexible, but if I’m paying top dollar, I expect top service.

    Melanie, the view wasn’t worth the rest of it.

    Dragon, a view is just a view. Who cares?

    Stephanie, my hat is fucking awesome. I wore it to the wedding.

  9. Poppy

    You were there for a wedding, it wasn’t about you anyway.

    It was about the bride and groom having a day for their family and friends which secretly was just an excuse for them to spend lots of money.

  10. Sheila (Charm School Reject)

    Nah. I don’t think you’re a whiny bitch because I feel the same as you. Who gives a shit about the view when you’re taking a shower with cold water in a water stained moldy looking cement slab? Seriously. Inmates get better showers than that.

    And the roaches? Hell effing no thank you!

    (People in “paradise” shop at KMart?)

  11. Faiqa

    Well, hon, that’s just what I mean. In the lesser developed nations, you don’t pay top dollar for top service, you pay top dollar so the unwashed massed won’t cut your head off…or hit you over the head with a 10lb safe. Anyway, I, for one, am glad you didn’t like it…wouldn’t want you entertaining notions of moving there or something.

  12. whall

    Today is Election Day. I vote for your hat and those shades.

    Oh, and I do hope for the change of the hope of change. Namely, I hope you change to a better resort next time with A/C and a lower roach population.

      • Todd Troutman


        Agreed completely St Croix is hell on earth – and you were in NICE accommodations for that hell hole. The roaches are nothing – at least you didn’t get bitten by a 7″ carnivorous centipede that’s as fast as a snake.

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