It’s that time of year, fuckers. I’m preparing my list of names and addresses for holiday cards.
Last year we sent out this one:
In 2006 we sent out this one:
If you got one or all of these, chances are I already have you in my address book, and you’ll be getting a new card or letter this year. However, if you’ve moved or just want to make sure that you’re included, just follow these simple instructions to make sure you’re on this year’s mailing list. Please follow the instructions exactly as it makes it much easier for me:
Email me. My email address is my first name at my last name dot com. My name is Adam Avitable.
The subject line of the email must be “Christmas Cards 2008″.
In the email please put your name and address in this format:
First Name Last Name
Street Address
Address Line 2 (if any)
City, State Zip
Country (if not USA)
That way, when I put it in a spreadsheet, it’s much easier to parse the data.
This year’s card may be offensive. It may be horrifying. It may be horribly boring. It may be late. I have no idea because I haven’t even thought about it yet!
In other Avita-news:
Tonight is a brand new installment of “Clearly, You’re Retarded”!
Should kids be allowed out of the house before they’re 18? What places are acceptable to bring small children? When should parents just leave their brats at home? Since my preference is that kids should just stay locked in a closet until they’re old enough to drive, we have a lot to talk about!
Britt and I are going to discuss when parents should leave their kids home from 9 PM to 10 PM EST on Talkshoe. You can listen live online at Talkshoe.com, or download the Talkshoe application and you can chat and even call in!
Who wants a Christmas card?
The Christmas Card.
I am going to assume you already have my address.
I can’t wait to hear Britt scream at you tomorrow night! :lmao:
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Are you all going to talk about perhaps places that perhaps only allow adults? If not, can we make that a topic for a future show. Oh and by “only allow adults”, I don’t mean strip clubs and such…I mean restaurants or theaters that have a “no kid” policy. I think that would be a good topic!
I know you have my address but I will hit ya up anyway!
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Well, you should have my address from last year, but just in case you don’t… I’m emailing it to you again.
Can’t wait to get it!! Yay for Adam’s Christmas Cards! The highlight of my Christmas Season. Well that and the eggnog I have to drink dealing with my family being in one room for one evening.
There is a reason we only do that once a year… I wouldn’t have liver if we did this kind of thing often!
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email on way as we have moved.
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Dammit. I wanted to listen to the show tonight. I totally spaced on it. Crappers. I’m pretty sure I would have had something to disagree with you over.
Heh.
Count me in for the ole Christmas card. I’ll email ya!
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
I’ll take one.
yes, I’ll follow the instructions.
No, you still don’t get my SSN.
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I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I’d rather have a St-Patrick’s Day card. Did that seem ungrateful? Seemed ungrateful, didn’t it?
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Ohh pick me pick me.
And kids clearly shouldn’t be anywhere that I am at if they are going to whine and cry.
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Twitter: blondefabulous
says:
When I went to Vegas to get married, (No, not in a drive thru!!!) I saw parents in the casinos with their kids. WITH THEIR KIDS!!!!! WTF is that shit??? The parents were at the slot machines and the kids were running wild as shit in the gift shop across the walk way that separated it from the casino floor. Yeah, sometimes parents can make bad decisions.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Ok.
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Twitter: _scifidad_
says:
Normally, I’d be all over this like a fat kid on cake. But I have no interest in trying to explain why “that man’s bum is on our Christmas card” to my three year old.
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Can you do an Asian porn theme this year? Maybe you dressed in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit with bunny ears?
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Twitter: missbritt
says:
If YOU would like to send me a Christmas card because YOU want to share your holiday cheer with me, and YOU find that you do not have my mailing address, then YOU can fucking email me and ask me for it.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
I’m going to assume you have my address.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
I second Britt.
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I followed the instructions (with the exception of a small glitch, which I then resent it correctly). Can’t wait for people to see your card on our wall of Christmas cards this year.
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I’m sure you have my address. And I don’t mind an offensive holiday card….as long it doesn’t involve Santa doing something unspeakable to a child sitting on his lap.
Shit. That’s exactly what you’re going to do NOW isn’t it?
mas3:
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
You should have my address but just in case I’m not worthy of stalking, I’ll re-send it.
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Twitter: elizabethbarone
says:
Coincidentally, I’ve been making greeting cards for the holidays.
Which reminds me, I need to put together a holiday newsletter for Letters of Love…
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I want one! Gonna go send my email now.
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OK, this post has totally peaked me. I’m gonna hang out here a bit
nice to stalk ya! I’m Jean :boobs3:
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
I definitely want a Christmas card!
I would prefer there not be any kids near me when I’m eating at a nice restaurant.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
i should be back from the funeral home with enough time to catch the second half of the show. sounds fun.
yes, you have my address, but i will send it anyhow coz i doubt your organizational skills.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
This I have to see…
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I haven’t moved from hell, but do you need the e-mail to make the transfer to a spreadsheet easier?
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
Poppy sent the e-mail.
Be sure to salutate as instructed.
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I think you have all of my addresses. Please don’t confuse them and send the card to my work…that could be bad….very, very bad…(oh sheesh, I’m scared now)
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That card is epic, can’t wait to see this year’s :woohoo:
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YAY Email is sent!!!
So that means you know where i live!!! God help us all!!!
M
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I love getting mail. I guess I’ll have to email you now.
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Sybil, you missed the show!
Hilly, thanks, Hilly Sue.
Janelle, eggnog isn’t alcoholic by itself, you know.
Mik, thanks!
Redneck Mommy, I’m still waiting for your opinion on today’s post.
Wayne, but I promise I won’t use it for any nefarious purposes.
FWG, kiss my blarney stone.
Dickie Maxx, but that’s not your real name!
Blondefabulous, that’s why parents should need licenses to have kids.
Poppy, I will imagine what question you are saying Okay to and you will be bound by that.
SciFi Dad, there will be no butt on it.
Grant, a hentai holiday?
Britt, that’s the nice thing about a blog – I’m talking to all of my friends here all at once. Jeez, join the future already.
Amanda, how else would I be standing outside your window at night?
Faiqa, you would!
Marty, thank you for following the simple instructions. Most people seem unable to do so.
Metalmom, ooh, thanks for the idea!
Sheila, totally worthy.
Elizabeth, do I get one?
Giggle Pixie, thanks!
jGrrl, hi, Jean. Nice to see you.
Jay, I think if there are kids in a nice restaurant, they are fair game for being cooked and eaten.
Hello, sorry you weren’t able to log on last night.
Finn, now I have to meet high expectations!
Tug, no, I still have yours somewhere.
NYCWD, but why??? I like real names better.
TrishK, don’t worry, your work is safe.
Jeremy, me either. Now I just need an idea.
Michelle, don’t worry – you have all of those tats, remember?!
Sarah, now I can come visit!
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I know! Don’t remind me :crying: ! My 1st missed show!
Eh – that tends to happen when your world is falling apart!
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Just emailed you. I almost always intercept the mail anyway (in case it’s not appropriate for younger eyes).
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What do you mean that is not my real name? My parents played a cruel trick on me by naming me Dickie. Not Richard really Dickie.
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Twitter: Kapgar
says:
Katie is going to be so happy to finally see what the much-touted, never-seen Amy looks like.
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Sybil, I’m sorry.
Kris, well, it’s not going to be pornographic or anything.
Dickie, hahah.
Kapgar, that is, if she appears on this one at all.
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Pingback: Who wants a Christmas card? | Avitable
Twitter: thebchronicles
says:
I’d feel silly asking for a xmas card, cause I’ll probably be too broke to buy stamps this year! Apparently I have to play Santa AND buy presents on top of that? Who wrote these Christmas laws?
But if I send you a Christmas e-card, would that make it even? haha! your xmas cards always crack me up!
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