It's not always about being funny.

One of the good guys

I’m a man…

Who has always, since being a teen, had more female friends than male friends.

Who might have had, in high school, a bad case of unrequited love, but never acted on it.

Who has always been there for many friends, day or night, to lend an ear.

Who is essentially one of the girls when it comes to gossip or hanging out.

Who slowly gained a greater understanding of how women think than most men.

Who has always gotten to know a side of some friends that their boyfriends or spouses rarely experience.

Who has gotten to know some friends better than their boyfriends or spouses ever would.

Who puts most women up on a pedestal as being worth it, all of the time.

Who has always been willing to sacrifice some dignity or pride for someone else’s happiness.

Who can see past the blemishes and chips to the beauty inside.

Who cannot understand how most men think, especially when it comes to how they treat women.

Who gets infuriated with the feeling of being powerless when a friend isn’t getting what she needs and deserves to flourish.

Who sometimes really hates men.

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82 Replies to “One of the good guys”

  1. stef

    whoa…if i didn’t know better, i’d think that you’re responding to my post of a few days ago. wee-urd.

    but for real? thanks for your post. i only wish that there were many more men out there that thought like you do. if you decide to start having training sessions for men, i’ll happily take one of your trainees.

  2. Greeneyezz

    “Who can see past the blemishes and chips to the beauty inside.”

    And *that* is the sentence that got me.
    And I think in part, because this post and what you’ve written, is allowing others to see the Beauty that’s inside you. :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat:


  3. Mattie

    Amazing post. The real you. Who knew?

    It has totally changed my opinion of you. Not that it was bad. I just never thought you were the kind of person who had no depth. That what I “see” on your blog was all surface stuff.

    But, apparently you’re one of the good guys. A rarity these days.

    Amy is very, very fortunate. She obviously knows that you’ve got her back and you’ll always be there for her.

  4. misi

    Hey Avitable,
    I responded to your ques. on Sheila’s post. I’m sorry that you have such a shitty opinion of me. I know it’s my fault.
    So :AHEM: I’m sorry for offending you. Really and truly. You seem like a great guy and the day I was on a rant well… Long story.
    So, anyways I’m sorry again. Have a great day.

  5. Avitable

    LeSombre, oh, nothing. Just a maudlin moment.

    Amanda, now only if I could get rid of that Catholic guilt.

    jGrrl, luckily, I’m happily married to someone who does not ignore nor walk all over me, but I agree that does happen a lot.

    Hilly, oh damn! I thought I hid it well enough. Hilly, I looooove you!

    Melissa, I still want to see your boobs, though.

    Grant, hahahahahahahahah! You win this post.

    SJ, Amy puts up with a lot of shit!

    RW, I love you.

    Mrs. Kitty, oh, who hasn’t sucked a few dicks in the past?

    Redneck Mommy, the body hair gives women something to grab onto.

    Wayne, hey, did I win the lottery yet?

    Ginger, if I did, we’d be too busy fucking each other.

    Chrissi, they do have to see me naked, so it evens out.

    Dave2, you’re getting a Davemas card.

    Tracy, dudette.

    Stephanie, yeah, he wins for best comment.

    Robin, yeah, it’s not a conflict or anything, is it?

    Sarah, enough to show me your boobs?

    SPD, that’s it! I’m totally a lesbian!

    Stef, they’re too bullheaded to listen.

    Daisy, oh, I’m not that great. This is about my friend, not about me.

    Bubblewench, I guess that “good” is relative.

    Muskrat, awww, that tickles me from my head down to my sphincter.

    Greeneyezz, oh, there’s no beauty inside of me.

    Mattie, I occasionally have days where I need to be a bit deeper.

    Metalmom, my name is Princess Wonder!

    Jules, it’s better if we’re in the minority.

    Thursday’s Child, hahah – that is true.

    RadioactiveGirl, nobody’s lucky to have me – I’m lucky to have them as friends in the first place.

    Jozet, rawr, Colin Firth.

    Blondefabulous, well, to be fair, I am masturbating in that photo.

    NYCWD, oh, I know that you do!

    Hello, yeah, kids are obnoxious. Women are awesome. See? It’s easy!

    Sandi, that’s my photo that’s used for the cover of Gay Straight Men Quarterly.

    Misi, sorry. You’ve burned any bridges. Please stay the fuck away.

  6. Miss Britt

    Are you SURE this isn’t a repeat post? I could swear it is. Oh. Wait. It’s the related post in BULLET FORM!

    I find myself torn here. On one hand I can say thank you since I am obviously the beneficiary of most of this “nice guy friend” stuff. And on the other hand, a part of me wants to point out to the Internet all the things that are really annoying about being the beneficiary of said “nice guy friend” stuff.

    What’s a girl to do?

  7. Faiqa

    I love that you use the phrase (not necessarily in this particular post), “I’m a girl” to indicate that there are wonderful and amazing facets to your personality. Such a refreshing departure from, “he hits/runs/cries like a girl.”
    “Adam loves, cares and empathizes…like a girl.” :hug:

  8. Fogspinner

    #1. Excellent picture btw.
    #2. There is nothing wrong with being a good guy. It’s just nice to see a few straight ones left. It leaves hope for the single women. πŸ˜‰

  9. Avitable

    Finn, I know – that stuff is sooo needy!

    Maria, I didn’t watch Eli Stone, but Pushing Daisies will be sorely missed.

    Barbie, I love women and hate kids. It’s simple!

    Britt, this wasn’t about you, ya crazy woman. I have other friends, you know.

    Shelli, I don’t know who that was that you met. Maybe Poppy?

    Atomic, no, I’m very much not!

    Sheila, as long as you didn’t tear up. But did you touch yourself?

    Faiqa, I consider “like a girl” to be a compliment in some ways. Of course, I still use the “cry like a girl” phrase, too.

    BE Earl, wanna hug?

    Maman, it’s supposed to happen to everyone!

    Kaila, a big ole perverted teddy bear.

    Fogspinner, the nice guys are out there, I’m sure.

    Jessica, thanks for visiting!

    Anissa, her name was Sabrina, and we’re still friends.

    e.Craig, other times do you cry like a man?

    Robin, or green.

    Twinkie, now that’s going to make me retch!

    Giggle Pixie, awww, thanks.

    Chris, do I have to crave it? Can’t I just appreciate it? From afar?

    Christine, you put men on pedestals? We totally don’t deserve it.

  10. Valerie

    What you wrote sounds like what I used to think about myself, and probably still do, yet always warned (this is back 10 15 years ago) women against anyone who said that about themselves of course on the premise that men are scum and would say anything to achieve their goals.

  11. jGrrl

    Your Amy is as fortunate as me then! My Kylearyn is a doll like you and soo soft & mushy inside (even if he is a smelly scratchy boy) but don’t let him know I said that (the mush stuff, he knows about the smelly bits) – he’d throttle me :lmao:

  12. Avitable

    Britt, well, you are a blonde.

    Thedemigod, why yes, we are. You’re a bottom, though, right?

    Summer, it’s my emo pic.

    Liquid, this one’s different!

    Michelle, thanks.

    Valerie, I agree with you.

    BHJ, well, that whole boner tweet turned me on too much.

    JGrrl, Kylearyn – what’s the origin of that name?

  13. kapgar

    I’m pretty much convinced you and I are cut from the same piece of cloth as many of your attributes were ones I had in high school and college. Still do on many. Strange.

    I also never bought into the whole girls have cooties thing that ran rampant in grade school.

  14. Avitable

    Poppy, me too!

    FWG, I don’t consider that type of male bonding to be because they didn’t grow up. I think it’s just because they don’t know how to act without demeaning women in misogynistic ways.

    JGrrl, oh, that’s his pseudonym. I thought that was his real name.

    Kapgar, same here.

    SciFi Dad, you have a propensity for self-exposure? Because I know you definitely weren’t talking about me!

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