Almost two years ago, there was a fun five-question interview meme that went around the interwebs. I thought the holidays would be a nice time to revive it.
It’s interactive and very simple. To get it started, I’m going to repost the five answers I gave to the questions I was originally asked by Mr. Fabulous. If you want to participate, just read the instructions at the bottom.
Here we go…
1. I know you have a very strong drive to be successful. Would you prefer to make a lot of money with very little notoriety, or have a very moderate income but be very famous?
Above all things, I am an attention whore. But I’m also a high-maintenance attention whore. I believe that negative attention is better than no attention at all. At the same time, I have a certain lifestyle, and I’m not willing to compromise on that lifestyle – I need my expensive shampoos, weekly shaves, bacon cheeseburgers on demand, and midget hookers. Since I am an entrepreneur at heart, I think that if I was very famous and had a moderate income, I would soon be able to parlay that fame into a significant income, therefore having my cake and eating it too.
2. Having met your wife Amy I can attest that she is smart, funny, attractive, accomplished and charming. So what’s the deal, really? How is it YOU manage to hang onto a woman like that?
Every night, when she comes home from work, I help her into her robe, get her slippers, give her a beer, and fluff her pillows on the couch. Then, I make dinner while listening intently to how her day was and responding accordingly. Finally, before she eats, I give her a full neck and shoulder massage. And right before she eats, I drug her food and perform nightly hypnosis that cements our relationship to the rock of love and trust that it currently is.
3. I suspect that you are like a Cadbury Egg, in that you are hard on the outside but soft and gooey on the inside. Also, you taste good. When is the last time that you had a good cry?
You’d be wrong. I’m just as tough and mean on the inside as I am on the outside. My heart is just a shriveled up piece of coal, and whatever soul I had as a kid disappeared long ago. I’m not nice or friendly or courteous or nostalgic or sappy or respectful. I last cried when Bruce Willis died in Armageddon because he was such a fucking retard to give up his spot for some young punk. Before that, I think I was 12.
4. You have made no secret of your disdain for vegetables and your unholy alliance with all things meaty. Just how impacted IS your colon?
I get plenty of roughage when I eat meat, because I don’t bother unwrapping the sandwiches. Cardboard, paper, meat, cheese, and all. It all goes down the gullet. And we’ll see who’s laughing when I live to be 143 on a diet of cheeseburgers, birthday cake, and Diet Coke.
5. Inevitably, after both our significant others have come to their senses and left us and you and I get together to drown our sorrows in diet soda and carnal pleaures, which of us will be pitching and which of us will be catching?
If I’m catching, I’ll at least be able to surf the web at the same time, or do some work. so that sounds better for me. Pitching sounds like too much work.
Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
I’ll interview anyone who comments and wants to participate.
Enjoy this post? Try these:My interview with Michael Jackson, the King of Pop
Oh, the friends I have . . .
Unanswered Questions (stolen shamelessly from Tosh.0)
I love question three so fucking much.
Also?
INTERVIEW ME!
(please)
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I’m not a meme guy, but I kinda like the idea of tailor made questions.
So, um…Interview me! (I guess)
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
Interview me, please. Again.
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Interview me!
If you would, I know you don’t really know me yet but I think it would be fun! I’d love to play along!
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Twitter: bellaventa
says:
Interview me! I should be scared, but I’m not. Ok, I’m lying…
Interview me.
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This sounds interesting. Interview me please.
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I just about died of laughter at your answer to question #4.
I don’t want to be interviewed (since I’m not sure I could answer any of your questions on a blog that my entire family reads), I’m just commenting so I can keep track of who does.
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Interview me
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I’d ask for an interview… but don’t think I would have time to ask questions of everybody who asked me. Alas, I don’t get to play.
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I will take an interview.
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I’d like to be interviewed please… INTERVIEW ME!
and I do believe you are the first hetro male I’ve met that chooses catching over pitching… very interesting!
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This is kind of terrifying, but what the hell. Yeah, interview me.
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You could interview me. But then I would have to kill you. And everyone who asked me to interview them.
Now that I think about it…
Sure. Go ahead and interview me.
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Aw come on, don’t make me say it…
Interview me!
:woohoo:
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The first chain-ey sort of blog post I can get on board with.
Interview me be-atch (If you have the time of course).
But I ain’t doing no psychometric.
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Marry me. I mean molest me. I mean
Interview me.
:sex007:
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I don’t normally do memes, too lemming like, but this one sounds very very interesting.
“Interview Me” S’il vous plait.
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oh i’m in! interview me por favor
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Okee dokee. I’ll bite. Interview me. Hell, my last blog post was about chocolate cake, so maybe I need a little help anyway.
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I totally would have loved to play, but I shut down the damn blog.
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
Are you Santa? Is this sit on Santa’s lap time and reminisce about how pretty Rudolph’s nose was Back in the Day?
Cadbury egg, to the core, buddy.
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Yes ok, interview me please!!!
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Twitter: _SciFiDad_
says:
You present an interesting conundrum. On the one hand, your questions are certain to be at least insightful and provide interesting blog fodder. On the other hand, you also have a propensity for the profane, the vulgar, the disgusting. Signing up for an interview from you could yield an enlightening post, or the equivalent of shoving a microwaved burrito up your ass.
Meh. I’m in. Interview me, please.
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I’ve been up since 5 am so I’m in a weakened state and would like to be interviewed. It’s a big step for a control freak like me.
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Interview me!
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Ha! Feel free to interview me, too.
However, the last interview I had turned out rather filthy:
http://angryseafood.com/humor-bloggers-interviews-muskrat/
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I’m so totally up for an interview
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Unless you’re regretting putting this out there now- sure Interview me.
And btw – Armageddon? I am incapable of watching that movie without crying like a little baby. Even if I only catch the last 5 minutes. It’s ridiculous!
xo
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Twitter: maria0305
says:
That idea is so much better than the one I had. I should have asked you for more details on it before.
But you’ve still got to ask a shitload of questions which proved to be too daunting of a task for me.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
Do me.Interview me, please.Reply
Hey Adam, did you watch last night’s Chuck yet? It was pretty good! Unfortunately I haven’t had a chance to watch the other shows yet. Soon!
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Ok, keeping in mind that my mother reads my blog, sure, what the hell…
spankinterview me. :sex007:Reply
Please interview me. My brain has hit a dry patch and I’ve been unable to blog about much other than posting pictures of hot Asian women. To make it easy, you could ask me “Can you post a picture of a hot Asian woman?” five times.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
OK- interview me. Also, I just want to say that if I were a free spirit like you, I would def. put a way a 2L of Diet Pepsi in two hours, too. (And, yes, I noticed you wrote “Diet Coke” up there… I’ll keep that in mind next time.)
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
In your answer to question one, it would’ve been easier to just say “I wanna be just like Paris Hilton when I grow up.”
Sure, what the hell, interview me.
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not falling for it this time. Last time I said yes and it took weeks of me bugging you before you … DID you ever send questions?
Hmm, gonna go back in my archives and find out…
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
do me.
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:boobs4:
I’ll give it a shot – even though you don’t know me – interview me please.
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I’m up for it. Interview me.
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Me, me, me! I want an interview by Avi!!!
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I don’t usually care about reading the meme posts but this was rather funny.
Sadly I can’t invite an interview as I have no blog and can’t fulfil the requirements.
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Twitter: floatingprncess
says:
I’d ask for an interview, but you don’t know me since I just started reading so that wouldn’t be fair. As far as meme’s go, it’s a great idea! Somewhat intimidating, but great.
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I’ve always wanted you to do me, so please do.You may go to ‘great length’ to ‘probe me’ so if you’d like to ‘get deep’ with me……. :boobs3:
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oooh…oooohhh,..me!me!me! (waving hand furiously in the air, eyes bulging, forehead wrinkled, while everyone in the room rolls their eyes) memememememem!!!!!!!!!
Also, let me shift gears for a minute and to the person up there whining about getting up at five? Bite me. Watch me bust that five am wide open..because I woke up at 4:15 squished between two toddlers, one of which was either sweating profusely or had pissed all over the bed, only to stumble into the bathroom to find a little shitzu pile of shit in the middle of the floor..
BAM! Fo’fi’teen
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I would love to be interviewed…actually the appeal is more in reading what questions you will come up with!
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:sexytime: :sexytime:
Or
Interview me –again;-)
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Twitter: elizawhat
says:
Yay, I remember this one! I’m down; interview me. (:
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I’m in. Interview me.
Shash
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Now that’s some kind of funny right there.
Consider me braced for an interview.
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Twitter: LeSombre
says:
Wow.
Will you interview me – again?
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I’m all about the interview, baby. An intervew from you would be an honor!
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I’ll de-lurk for this one. Interview me!
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Interview me, baby. Interview me all night long.
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huh…I seriously think you and my DH are related in some bizarre universe…I’ve never seen someone eat meat like him…it’s almost unholy. *shutter* Interview me please!?!
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If i show you my boobs, will you interview me?
:boobs2:
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
Am I too late to get in on the interview action?? If I’m not, then I’m definitely in!
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Interview me…just try to avoid questioning my sanity…
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Interview me.
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Done! and thanks
Here: http://jeanniegrrl.com/?p=594
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Gimme.
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heh better late than never!
am i too late?
interview me ?!
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Interview me. You can do it!
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this has got to be the most honest and non-sensical piece of crap quiz/questionnaire/interview ever. hm…. refreshing.
do me.
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If you have any questions left after the 69 (hehehe) above me, I’d love to participate!
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