The One Where I …
- Pose for Playgirl
- Talk about my divorce 2 3
- Review sex toys
- Horrify you with my Aristocrats joke
- Discuss my weight loss
- Prove I'm an expert 2 3
- Show you my balls
- Interview my dead grandmother
- Want to have a child
- Go on my first date as a divorced man
- Teach you about dirty talk
- Go to a strip club for the first time
- Talk to a heroin addict
- Discuss auto-erotica
- Console a grieving mother
- Write a letter to my body
- Review my life lessons
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- Andy Rooney
- Steve Jobs
- Amy Winehouse
- Leonard Stern, creator of Mad Libs
- Jack Kevorkian
- Randy "Macho Man" Savage
- Osama bin Laden
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jack LaLanne
- Leslie Nielsen
- Bob Guccione
- Barbara Billingsley
- Tony Curtis
- Dennis Hopper
- Gary Coleman
- Chinese murderer**
- Casey, aka Moosh In Indy*
- Adolf Hitler
- Peter Graves
- Corey Haim
- My Grandmother**
- Roy Scheider
- Zelda Rubinstein, J.D. Salinger
- Brittany Murphy
- Oral Roberts
- John Lennon
- Ken Ober
- Henry Gibson
- Patrick Swayze
- Ted Kennedy
- John Hughes
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett
- Walter Cronkite
- Billy Mays
- Ed McMahon
- Stephen Hawking*
- Robert Novak
- Caylee Anthony
- David Carradine
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Monthly Archives: November 2008
Method 4,982 to break blogger block
I am currently hard at work at finishing the studio photos for those of you who attended the party and will soon have a post with information about that. It’s more work than I thought! And now, your regularly scheduled … Continue reading
Posted in Dirty talk
Tagged avitable, Bloggers, comedy, Dirty talk, humor, redneck mommy, sex
52 Comments
The End of an Error
Since most members of my family are rabidly Republican, Thanksgiving this year should be very fun for those of us who voted for Obama. I’m thinking of ordering one of my own T-shirts just to wear to dinner. If you … Continue reading
I’m an idiot
For some reason I promised my wife that the house would be completely back to normal, with all Halloween decorations in the attic, by the time she gets back from her business trip this Saturday morning. Guess how much undecorating … Continue reading
Amber Alert: Missing Children
Many of you were wondering why I kept pestering each of you for photos of yourself as a child. As part of our theme of an old abandoned carnival, the concept was designed around the idea that the reason the … Continue reading
I’m looking for a few bad Republicans
Should a gay couple be allowed the same rights as a straight married couple? Should a gay couple be allowed to marry? If you would, in any way, answer no to either of these questions, I’d like you to explain … Continue reading
Props
Click to embiggen: In other Avita-news: The award-winning (in our minds) show “Clearly, You’re Retarded” is back! We continue our trend of discussing light-hearted topics that are insubstantial with a look at Safe Haven laws. Should you be able to … Continue reading
Most important day in American history
I’ll return tomorrow with photos of props and hopefully the professional photos. Today is an important day. It’s one that people have been waiting for, maybe for their whole lives. Today is a day when the people get to stand … Continue reading
Avitaween 2008, part 1
Saturday night, I had a little soiree. You might have heard about it. There was nudity, vomiting, crossdressing, more vomiting, horrible screeching sounds karaoke, fighting, and a party that started at 8 PM and lasted for 9 hours. Britt created … Continue reading
Are you retarded?
Do you really think I’m going to have some type of post at midnight on Saturday night while we’re in the middle of partying? Jeez, can’t a guy take a break? I’ll post something real on Monday. I’m recovering as … Continue reading








