Here's the thing. I'm going to go to BlogHer 2009 this July.

There are several reasons for this. First and foremost, it's in Chicago, and I have several friends who live there that I want to see.

Secondly, I think it could be a good experience to do once, to see what happens at these conferences and see if there's anything that can be learned. Although, since I know that I know everything, I doubt it, I am open to the slight possibility that someone might teach me something.

Finally, I really want to speak there. Really. I think I have a good perspective to offer to the attendees. It's clear that I'm not in their typical demographic, and I think that an outsider's point of view could prove invaluable to those who are interested in expanding their audience to all available markets.

So, in order to be a speaker, I could just wait for them to beat down my door asking me to speak, but I don't think that will happen. The only chance I have of this happening is to get enough people to nominate me as a speaker.

You'll help, won't you? Pretty please?

All you have to do is send an email to Elisa at BlogHer at this address: elisa@blogher.com.

The bonus? If I get chosen as a speaker, I'll totally do it wearing a dress. That'll be hot.

Thanks to everyone who emailed Elisa. She emailed me this reply:

BlogHer Conferences have two kinds of programming, sessions *we* program, and sessions that are programmed by the community.

BlogHer Programmed sessions:
Until now, and for 2009, programmed sessions feature 100% women speakers. This policy is not set in stone, rather we poll attendees after every event, big and small, and take their pulse on how important our community feels this policy is. So far, the vast majority of our community and attendees still find this policy highly important to them. (While women may indeed be the majority of bloggers and Internet users, as you have pointed out in the past, they are still a noticeable minority of speakers on the roster at most blogging or Internet or tech or marketing conferences.) All this to say: The policy may change, and the longer we stay around, the more likely we will get to a place where it is no longer so important to the community.

Community programmed sessions:
There will be two opportunities to participate, however, that are open for men to submit:

1. The Community Keynote
We launched a new keynote tradition this year by having Community Keynote which consisted of about 20 bloggers reading pieces across a variety of subject matter areas. We will have an open period for people to submit their own posts, or favorites from others, and then a committee narrows down the list to ~20 bloggers. We currently plan to open the submission process on April 15th or so.

2. Room of Your Own sessions
When we announce our skeleton schedule (coming soon) of 30 programmed sessions, it is inevitable that we cannot program all the many topics and interests from the hundreds of submissions we receive. So we set aside two additional break-out rooms for what we call Room of Your Own sessions, 12 additional sessions that will be programmed by the community itself. We put out an open call for people to reserve their time slots. Some years we have gotten so many people wanting to reserve that we set up a little community poll to choose. Some years we don't need to do that, and pretty much everyone who wants a slot gets one. We currently plan to open the call for Room of Your Own sessions as soon as we announce the skeleton programmed schedule, some time next week.

FYI: This year we did have a "BlogHims at BlogHer" Room of Your Own session, so if the interest is there, the session can be there.

Hope you will submit for the Community Keynote (there will be a Humor category) and/or sign up for a Room of Your Own session when we launch those.

Thanks for your interest in BlogHer '09, I'll look forward to meeting you in July.

Best regards,

BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY REASON THAT JULY IS ALL MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME!

It's not this picture:

It's not this picture:

But, in the month of July on the 2009 Hot Male Blogger Calendar, there is a photo of me that you totally need to have hanging in your office, kitchen, laundry room, or wherever you keep a calendar.

The calendars have been printed and are shipping now. Make sure you get one before they're all out!

2009 Hot Blogger Calendar – The Men:

2009 Hot Blogger Calendar – The Women (including Miss Britt!):

38 Responses to “Masturbation that lasts the whole month of July . . . guaranteed”