Comments on: Arranged marriages – old-fashioned and outdated?

By: home working

home working — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 00:47:40 +0000

When it's a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

By: Captain Steve

Captain Steve — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:10:28 +0000

I actually know a girl who's going back home in January to get married. I guess her family selects the applicants and she gets final say, but she's not in favor of arranged marriages all the time, though she is really excited about her own.

By: Clayton

Clayton — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:29:40 +0000

On this subject, A great fun movie is "Jump Tomorrow"

By: jGrrl

jGrrl — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:45:51 +0000

@Faiqa : if a person wants it then its entirely within their rights to do it but I find that in some cases they may have been conditioned to want it, 'trained' if you will.

I knew a girl when I was growing up who was trained that it was perfectly ok for her uncles to abuse her and so she was confused when child protection services came to 'save' her.

Its not anywhere near the same thing but I use that only as an example of how easy it really is to condition someone from birth that something is good or bad.

I just don't think its right to make such enormous life decisions for another person when they are the one that will have to live with the full consequences rather than the person who made said decision.

I'm maybe either too old fashioned or perhaps too far ahead of my time, I'm not sure, but I could never take such a huge choice away from my own daughters or son, its not my right and in my personal opinion – it shouldn't be.

By: Faiqa

Faiqa — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 16:52:56 +0000

@jGrrl: Oh, honey, I don't find an opposing viewpoints offending!! But, I do thank you for clarifying that statement about culture. I wonder, though, if telling a whole group of people that they can't define marriage in their own paradigm (whether that is in this nation or outside) isn't also a taking away *their* basic fundamental human rights? And as long as a person who is of legal age *willingly* submits to an arranged marriage, I don't understand what right is being taken away from them?

By: jGrrl

jGrrl — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 16:44:38 +0000

@Faiqa : I didn't mean to offend, I only meant (and perhaps I should have thought a bit longer about my wording) that it isn't the standard as in 'common place' for the majority. In my personal opinion an arranged marriage takes away the basic fundamental rights of human beings and I don't personally agree with it anywhere but I also don't believe that other countries have the right to dictate to countries where it is practiced widely and as the norm.

By: Redneck Mommy

Redneck Mommy — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 16:25:24 +0000

I disagree with you. Again.

Shocking.

Let's armwrestle.

Heh.

By: Stacey

Stacey — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 15:27:50 +0000

I know a woman in an arranged marriage. I used to ask her a bunch of questions about it because I couldn't fathom someone picking the man I'd spend the rest of my life with for me. Apparently she tried to find love on her own for awhile (and did fall in love with a man who was too jealous of a partner), then decided she couldn't pick any better than her parents and asked them to arrange a marriage. The man she married was a friend of hers, but she had never thought of him in a romantic way. She pretty much said her marriage isn't the romance she dreamed of, but she's not really unhappy.

Since her experience is really all I know about arranged marriages, I don't think I know enough to form an opinion either way.

By: Faiqa

Faiqa — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:38:32 +0000

Oh. And I think Hessetic (sp??!) Jews also practice arranged marriage… and they are Americans too.

By: Faiqa

Faiqa — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:33:48 +0000

"…not in our standard culture."
Hmmm. That's an interesting perspective. Given that Asian Indian culture has been present in North America for over 100 years now… how long before it's deemed "standard" enough for us to be "allowed" to practice it? Another 150 years?