Clearly, You're Retarded was the radio show with Adam Avitable and Britt Reints

Dear Abby can suck a nut

As everybody knows, Britt and I take an hour every Wednesday to debate a topic on the air. It’s a fun hour, and things usually get heated as we tear each other to shreds over the other’s opinion, and everybody enjoys themselves in the chatroom.

The problem lies with coming up with topics. Most issues that seem like they’d be interesting happen to be ones where we agree, so we can’t consider that topic.

So far, we’ve discussed 19 different topics:

  • Arranged marriage
  • Using Facebook to look up old friends
  • Should kids be allowed in public?
  • Internet addiction
  • Safe Haven laws
  • Intelligence restrictions on voting
  • Circumcision
  • Pharmacists’ rights to morally oppose a prescription
  • The perspectives of childless couples on friendships
  • Environmentalism
  • Cloning
  • The drinking age
  • Age discrimination
  • Plastic surgery
  • The death penalty
  • Porn
  • Abortion
  • Being open vs. being guarded
  • Using “gay” as a pejorative term

For our Mondo Super Amazing 20th Show, which will be tomorrow (Wednesday) night at 9 PM EST, we thought that a change of pace might be nice.

Instead of arguing over a topic, we should argue over the best advice to give to people!

Here’s where you come in. (Yes, I know. Finally.)

We need your questions. Is there anything you want advice on? Whether it’s what type of gift to get for your spouse, how to get away with tax fraud, the best way to cook a steak, or whether or not you should get that next tattoo, your questions are desperately needed. We’ll go through all of them (or as many as we can) live on the air and give you both useful (me) and completely useless (Britt) advice!

This show really won’t work unless we get at least 20-30 advice questions from people, so take a minute, just for me, and think about something that you need to know. What would you ask Dear Abby? Your priest? Your mom? If you want to be anonymous, that’s fine, too!

Email your question(s) to me at my first name (adam) at my last name (avitable) dot com and you shall have my everlasting gratitude. Well, at the very least, gratitude that extends to Wednesday night.

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20 Replies to “Dear Abby can suck a nut”

  1. hello haha narf

    dear fucker who can’t come up with a radio show idea on his own,

    i hate when my best friend’s husband leaves the bathroom door open, regardless of whether he is peeing or pooping, even though there are visitors in the house. should i break up with my best friend because she is too weak to educate him on common courtesy? please help. on your radio show. in front of tens of listeners.

  2. hello haha narf

    another question…

    i really, really like a good friend, but she has a habit of dating men who are all wrong for her. sometimes men i can’t even stand to be around. do i have to dump her because she has no backbone and refuses to date guys who aren’t total douchebags?

  3. hello haha narf

    and another one…

    a friend has a TOTALLY adorable and completely obnoxious child under five years of age. she insists on bringing the little hellion on lunch dates and i am now not comfortable meeting at restaurants. do i tell her how to raise her child, knowing that she will hold it against me, or do i stop agreeing to meals out of the home and lie as to why?

  4. David

    In the wake of the California Prop 8 vote, I have two issues posing as condrundria.

    If the purpose of marriage is pro-creation, why are sterile couples allowed to marry?

    When the anti-gay religious folks quote the bible as evidence that gay people are sinful by their very existence, then why do they still eat shrimp and lobster? Isn’t shellfish a verboten food and eating it is an abomination?

    Please help me to be understanding these thing?

  5. Avitable

    BE Earl, I’m not that shallow!

    BPR, did you listen? We did your question!

    NYCWD, that’s a great job you got there.

    Britt, Worst. Guest. Post. ever.

    SciFi Dad, just breathe deeply, relax, and the horse should back away on its own.

    Grant, reply.

    Robin, your brain must be exhausted!

    Finn, hot anal love.

    Sheila, a picture of your boobs isn’t a question!

    Turnbaby, what happened to your show?

    Heather, my left one. Of course.

    Hello haha narf, dear redhead who can’t follow instructions and doesn’t know how to email, thank you for all of the questions!

    Becky, that’s always a tough one.

    David, we weren’t able to get to your questions, but maybe next time we do this.

  6. blueppaintred

    I did. To answer some of your concerns. We have known since 2005 that the one testes would not make it, it had too much damage in terms of blood supply, but were very hopeful the other would make it.

    A few weeks ago, he complained that his junk hurt, and that’s a BIG nono with the type of surgery he had so I had to check his guys out. Only, there were no guys to check, just two lumps of mushy stuff, so its off to his urologist we go.

    After his ultrasound and whatever they do, something about a camera thingy, if the testes are indeed dead, they will have to be removed.

    I am not sure if I mentioned that he would only be getting prosthetic’s at six if they were already down there cutting him up to remove the remainders of his manhood.

    In the mean time, any fever means a trip to the ER and lots of fun junk like that.

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