Archive for January, 2009

Here, watch this to distract yourself from my lazy blogging:

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Since I've spent 40 hours of the last week doing nothing but playing Assassin's Creed, I haven't had much time to prepare some of the posts that I wanted.

In the next week or so, I plan to do the following:

1. Write a ghost hunting post about my experiences at the haunted bed & breakfast in Ocala.
2. Do a product review for a sex toy that I received.
3. Plagiarize the brilliant plagiarism idea that my friend Shiny is doing. Seriously, if you haven't seen what he's done this week, go check it out. It's genius.
4. Rule the world.

I'm optimistic that I'll get at least 75% of my list done.

Front of card

Inside of card

On Monday, at Texas de Brazil, I got the above birthday card from a friend as a joke. After I read it out loud at the table, laughing, I flipped the card over to see that it's apparently from "Mahogany", which is a separate division of Hallmark.

What makes them different? Well, Mahogany is a division of Hallmark devoted exclusively to cards for black consumers. From the site:

Mahogany features more than 800 cards to help African Americans honor their relationships in innovative, compelling and culturally-relevant ways . . . Mahogany's innovative, dynamic designs and heartwarming sentiments serve as an affirmation of African-American culture and heritage.

I'm not sure how you would know this from the card. Is saying "baby" and talking provocatively something that black men do on birthdays? If I read the card in a deep Barry White voice, will it make women orgasm instantly? What makes this card black? In my opinion, it's just a farce that fosters corporate greed while SEGREGATING RACES!

Apparently, it's working, though, because Hallmark has now announced a new division of cards called Cherry Blossom. This new division would be dedicated primarily to those of Asian descent. Here are just a few of the cards that will be coming out shortly:

For Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Middle Eastern, and Indian cultures

For the Japanese

For the Chinese

In other Avitanews, my birthday was outstanding. Thank you to each and every one of you who took the time to wish me a happy birthday. I also wanted to individually thank the people who sent me a gift, a card, or who took the time to mention my birthday in a post. I'm hoping that this list is inclusive, but if for some reason I'm a total tard and I forgot you, please email me so I can rectify the situation immediately. It's not that I'm ungrateful, it's that I'm disorganized!

Thank you to:

Janelle
Poppy
NYCWD
Heather
Finn
Karl
Bethie
Sheila
RW
Grant
Liquid
Becky
Faiqa
Hilly
Sybil
Karen
Britt
Stephanie
Tracy
James

Updated to add:
Cris
Lisa
Paul

Just in case those of you who are in the know and listen to our weekly Presidential radio address were wondering, we will be having a show tonight at 9 PM EST.

The topic is whether or not the United States has a moral imperative to encourage, foster, and in some cases, aggressively enact democracy in backwards countries.

If you're going to listen, I suggest clicking that picture, registering an account, and downloading the TalkShoe Pro software. It will make your listening experience smoother, silkier, and more erect.

How could Avitable.com be any better than it already is?

Add bacon!