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Pathetic end to a miserable year


  • It’s 10:30 and I’m thinking about going to bed. Amy went to bed a little while ago, and I’ve actually turned up my music to try to drown out the obnoxious noise of the fireworks going off behind us.
  • I read a comment today on someone else’s blog where the commenter said that she and her husband have sex every New Year’s at midnight. That just seems unduly complicated.

    “Ok, it’s 11:55! Get your penis over here. Stick it in! Wait, not too fast, let’s take this slow. Watch Dick Clark on TV – is the ball dropping yet? Oh, there’s Madonna and the Jonas Brothers talking to Carson Daly. Faster! Oh, it’s that funny Apple commercial. Slow it down – don’t ruin this for me. Okay, here we go. The ball’s dropping! 10! Ugh 9! Nnagh! 8! Grawf 7! Phlump! 6! Squish! 5! Sigh. Great. You came too early. Now 2009 is ruined forever. Way to go, shithead.”

  • When I decide to do something, I decide at that moment. I don’t wait until January 1st so I can make it a New Year’s Resolution that will be quickly forgotten. Resolutions made during the rest of the year are for mature people. The rest of you can promise yourself whatever you want today.

Happy 2009.

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43 Replies to “Pathetic end to a miserable year”

  1. Robin

    I am laughing my ass off at the second item. :clap:

    I’m the only one who managed to stay awake until midnight here. I thought about going to bed early this year, but I’m a night owl by nature.

  2. SJ

    Well, since I *AM* the person who made that comment, I’m happy to report that our love life is nothing like that at all. Sorry if yours is! TV is only compatible with sex if porn is on. :sexytime:

  3. Kat

    Happy new year Avi!

    I just noticed that these 2 smilies are right next to each other. :jerkoff2: :sex023:

    Did you do that on purpose or is my mind just going straight to the dirty side all of the time? hahahaha

  4. Janna

    I had to laugh at your post title, because “pathetic end to a miserable year” is exactly what I’ve been thinking all day long. 🙂
    2008 was definitely awful, at least for me.
    So I’m very glad it’s finally over.

    To celebrate, I’m going to use some of these smilies that I never seem to get the chance to use any other time….

    :3some: :sex003: :violent029: :shit:

    Here’s hoping 2009 holds wonderful things.
    Or at least better things.

  5. Stephanie

    Every year I resolve not to make any stupid fucking resolutions.

    Sex should never be a time-based experience. Unless you are a porn star and orgasms are based on punching a time cock.

    Time CLOCK.

    Freudian slip…or horny commentor? :tongue1:

  6. Mik

    11:55PM and I’m at the computer, the wife is in the other room with two of the grand kids, while their parents party. Dang we’re getting too old for partying on New Years eve.

    Happy 2009

  7. SingleParentDad

    I made it to 2009, not that I was trying to, it is a big pile of nonsense. The last digits in the date change, so what?

    And as far as a jizz fest right on cue, I hope they timed in the correction second, or it could have got really messy.

  8. Dan

    It’s a shame Charles Dickens never wrote a Scrooge like story about someone who hated New Years. Now I have no name to call you. Short sighted bloody Dickens.

    I usually hate New Years Eve too, but I had quite a good one this year. Maybe I’m just better than you.

  9. Jennifer

    I always say I won’t make any resolutions, as usual I end up making some.

    The husband and I sat down a few days ago and went over things we would like to see happen for 2009 for our family, health wise and financially.

    This was the first year in a long time that we went out and partied with other grown ups. It was freaking awesome. Not so awesome though when the Evil One gets up several times in the night, and ends up staying up by 6 effing am.

  10. Lisa

    At first I totally agreed with the title of your post until I realized that I made it through 2008 and I’m still alive. I went to bed at 8 pm and woke up at 11:40 to ring in the New Year…so here it is 2009 and I’m still here.

    I know, I know, I have to be the one to rain on your parade.

    Here’s wishing that 2009 is a MUCH BETTER year for you.

  11. Sybil Law

    I sat up with my daughter and watched some really bad tween shows, and then we put on the hats and blew the horns at midnight. I almost sent you the picture! It was actually pretty fun and low key (obviously).
    Today sucks, though, because she’s grumpy and tired as shit.
    Happy New Year!!!

  12. Poppy

    Well, if you can last for more than 5 minutes it’s really not too hard to plan to have sex during the stroke of midnight.

    I think if you really put your mind to it you could adopt that tradition. Alone, since Amy goes to bed early, but it could just be your tradition!

  13. whall

    I fell asleep a little after 11 telling everyone to just wake me up before midnight. Sure nuff, woke up at 11:56 and celebrated WHEEEE then went to bed.

    But we had some good fireworks this year. I have some after-footage for my next DITL.

  14. Greg

    Hey Avi–it’s Greg, an old Blogger friend.

    With the shitty economy these days I didn’t have to worry about loud fireworks… people couldn’t afford them… instead some douchebags down the street were shooting firearms into the air. It was awesome… but also frightening… and yes, it DID startle me and cause me to cum early.

  15. Jessica

    Mine was pretty pathetic too. I watched Youtube videos and drank fake champagne so I was completely aware of my level of pathetic. My year sucked too, and I forgot to make New Years Resolutions!

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