Pathetic end to a miserable year

Pathetic:

  • It’s 10:30 and I’m thinking about going to bed. Amy went to bed a little while ago, and I’ve actually turned up my music to try to drown out the obnoxious noise of the fireworks going off behind us.
  • I read a comment today on someone else’s blog where the commenter said that she and her husband have sex every New Year’s at midnight. That just seems unduly complicated.

    “Ok, it’s 11:55! Get your penis over here. Stick it in! Wait, not too fast, let’s take this slow. Watch Dick Clark on TV – is the ball dropping yet? Oh, there’s Madonna and the Jonas Brothers talking to Carson Daly. Faster! Oh, it’s that funny Apple commercial. Slow it down – don’t ruin this for me. Okay, here we go. The ball’s dropping! 10! Ugh 9! Nnagh! 8! Grawf 7! Phlump! 6! Squish! 5! Sigh. Great. You came too early. Now 2009 is ruined forever. Way to go, shithead.”

  • When I decide to do something, I decide at that moment. I don’t wait until January 1st so I can make it a New Year’s Resolution that will be quickly forgotten. Resolutions made during the rest of the year are for mature people. The rest of you can promise yourself whatever you want today.

Happy 2009.

Enjoy this post? Try these:
My interview with Oral Roberts
Avitable Love Fest: 20 Things I Want You To Hear
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43 Responses to Pathetic end to a miserable year

  1. Dave2
    Twitter:
    says:

    I read this at 9:00 Pacific Time, it’s not even midnight yet… now my 2009 is ruined forever! Way to go, shithead!

    Reply

  2. Hilly says:

    Knowing the person, I am pretty sure that the Apple commercial would have ruined the whole thing!

    Reply

  3. michelle says:

    Happy 2009!

    I’m going to bed!!! To sleep!!!!

    Keep it real in 09!

    Reply

  4. Robin
    Twitter:
    says:

    I am laughing my ass off at the second item. :clap:

    I’m the only one who managed to stay awake until midnight here. I thought about going to bed early this year, but I’m a night owl by nature.

    Reply

  5. Winter says:

    I agree about resolutions. LMAO about the sex at midnight.

    Reply

  6. Shash says:

    Happy New Year, Avitable. You just keep getting better and better!

    Reply

  7. no sex for me at midnight, the kids are still up!

    Reply

  8. The Mexicans over two streets must have gotten some bootleg foreworks from back home. It hasn’t been quiet all day and now the display in the night sky is rivaling that of the Fourth of July.

    Happy New Year. :boobs2:

    Reply

  9. SJ says:

    Well, since I *AM* the person who made that comment, I’m happy to report that our love life is nothing like that at all. Sorry if yours is! TV is only compatible with sex if porn is on. :sexytime:

    Reply

  10. Ginger
    Twitter:
    says:

    A friendly New Year’s Reminder: “prospero anos” ≠ “próspero años.” No wishing anyone a “Happy New Anus”, which I know you are wont to do.
    :fisting:

    Reply

  11. Happy New Year. Looking forward to another year of daily entertainment!

    Reply

  12. Kat says:

    Happy new year Avi!

    I just noticed that these 2 smilies are right next to each other. :jerkoff2: :sex023:

    Did you do that on purpose or is my mind just going straight to the dirty side all of the time? hahahaha

    Reply

  13. Janna says:

    I had to laugh at your post title, because “pathetic end to a miserable year” is exactly what I’ve been thinking all day long. :)
    2008 was definitely awful, at least for me.
    So I’m very glad it’s finally over.

    To celebrate, I’m going to use some of these smilies that I never seem to get the chance to use any other time….

    :3some: :sex003: :violent029: :shit:

    Here’s hoping 2009 holds wonderful things.
    Or at least better things.

    Reply

  14. Stephanie says:

    Every year I resolve not to make any stupid fucking resolutions.

    Sex should never be a time-based experience. Unless you are a porn star and orgasms are based on punching a time cock.

    Time CLOCK.

    Freudian slip…or horny commentor? :tongue1:

    Reply

  15. Mik says:

    11:55PM and I’m at the computer, the wife is in the other room with two of the grand kids, while their parents party. Dang we’re getting too old for partying on New Years eve.

    Happy 2009

    Reply

  16. B.E. Earl
    Twitter:
    says:

    Happy New Year, dude!

    You helped make 2008 a little better. Try to do the same thing for 2009. Please.

    Reply

  17. amanda
    Twitter:
    says:

    There’s nothing wrong with sleeping. I wish I got more sleep. Instead I believe we were playing Trivial Pursuit. The fireworks outside are what alerted us that it was midnight.

    Reply

  18. I made it to 2009, not that I was trying to, it is a big pile of nonsense. The last digits in the date change, so what?

    And as far as a jizz fest right on cue, I hope they timed in the correction second, or it could have got really messy.

    Reply

  19. Dan says:

    It’s a shame Charles Dickens never wrote a Scrooge like story about someone who hated New Years. Now I have no name to call you. Short sighted bloody Dickens.

    I usually hate New Years Eve too, but I had quite a good one this year. Maybe I’m just better than you.

    Reply

  20. Grant says:

    I started the tradition of going to bed early years ago.

    Reply

  21. Jennifer says:

    I always say I won’t make any resolutions, as usual I end up making some.

    The husband and I sat down a few days ago and went over things we would like to see happen for 2009 for our family, health wise and financially.

    This was the first year in a long time that we went out and partied with other grown ups. It was freaking awesome. Not so awesome though when the Evil One gets up several times in the night, and ends up staying up by 6 effing am.

    Reply

  22. Selma says:

    Happy New Year, cutie. Thanks for all the laughs in ’08!

    Reply

  23. Lisa says:

    At first I totally agreed with the title of your post until I realized that I made it through 2008 and I’m still alive. I went to bed at 8 pm and woke up at 11:40 to ring in the New Year…so here it is 2009 and I’m still here.

    I know, I know, I have to be the one to rain on your parade.

    Here’s wishing that 2009 is a MUCH BETTER year for you.

    Reply

  24. NYCWD
    Twitter:
    says:

    Sleep… sounds good.

    Maybe tomorrow you won’t be so grouchy since the “new” year won’t be so “new” anymore.

    Reply

  25. Maria
    Twitter:
    says:

    I was awake, only because I couldn’t sleep, as usual. And then I didn’t realize it was a new year until like…15 minutes after.

    Reply

  26. Em says:

    I’ve actually made several New Year’s resolutions in the past that have worked out. I seem to do well with them. Does that make me immature?

    Reply

  27. Stacey says:

    I haven’t stayed awake until midnight in years. We were in bed around 10pm.

    Reply

  28. Sybil Law says:

    I sat up with my daughter and watched some really bad tween shows, and then we put on the hats and blew the horns at midnight. I almost sent you the picture! It was actually pretty fun and low key (obviously).
    Today sucks, though, because she’s grumpy and tired as shit.
    Happy New Year!!!

    Reply

  29. Crys says:

    well then, good morning, sunshine!

    Reply

  30. Poppy
    Twitter:
    says:

    Well, if you can last for more than 5 minutes it’s really not too hard to plan to have sex during the stroke of midnight.

    I think if you really put your mind to it you could adopt that tradition. Alone, since Amy goes to bed early, but it could just be your tradition!

    Reply

  31. Poppy
    Twitter:
    says:

    Oh, right, I was here for a particular reason:

    Happy New Year to you, Amy, and Jigsaw!!!

    Reply

  32. Beth says:

    The joy of waiting up until midnight was ruined for me knowing that the rest of America started the new year 3-6 hours earlier.

    Reply

  33. cajunvegan says:

    All is well. You are worshiped. Happy New Year!

    Reply

  34. yoshi
    Twitter:
    says:

    I totally didn’t make any resolutions this year. :D

    Happy New Year!

    Reply

  35. I fell asleep a little after 11 telling everyone to just wake me up before midnight. Sure nuff, woke up at 11:56 and celebrated WHEEEE then went to bed.

    But we had some good fireworks this year. I have some after-footage for my next DITL.

    Reply

  36. Father Muskrat
    Twitter:
    says:

    Who does it at midnight? I agree with your analysis of the pitfalls of such planning.

    Reply

  37. Greg says:

    Hey Avi–it’s Greg, an old Blogger friend.

    With the shitty economy these days I didn’t have to worry about loud fireworks… people couldn’t afford them… instead some douchebags down the street were shooting firearms into the air. It was awesome… but also frightening… and yes, it DID startle me and cause me to cum early.

    Reply

  38. Karl
    Twitter:
    says:

    Happy New Year, bud. Hope it’s a great one for you and Amy.

    Reply

  39. Jessica says:

    Mine was pretty pathetic too. I watched Youtube videos and drank fake champagne so I was completely aware of my level of pathetic. My year sucked too, and I forgot to make New Years Resolutions!

    Reply

  40. Jessica says:

    Oh, yea hope your 2009 is much, much better!

    Reply

  41. Tug says:

    I slept through the new year, unless you count Eastern Time, which Hell is not in.

    Happy Happy New Year to you and Amy!

    Reply

  42. it was NOT a miserable year!

    Reply

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