There once was a chick named Faiqa,
It’s very hard not to immediately lika,
She’s smart and sassy
And snooty and classy
And would have preferred this to be a haika
It’s very unusual for a blogger to show up out of nowhere and just take over by storm, but that’s exactly what Faiqa has done. With a penchant for discussing her feelings in such a way that you really put yourself in her shoes (reminiscent of another amazing blogger), interspersed with savvy, insightful discussion (like this other unique blogger), her blog has become an intensely interesting yet familiar place to visit. Now all she needs to do is add in a little dolphin porn and more profanity and she’ll be unstoppable!
In honor of her birthday today, I thought I would list a few other accomplishments that Faiqa’s had over the last 33 years:
1. Just from listening to Faiqa during the 9 months of her pregnancy, Faiqa’s daughter’s first word was actually a glaring condescending look.
2. In high school, Faiqa’s exploits were the origin of the phrase, “Once you go brown, you’ll love going down.”
3. Faiqa made national news for boycotting a theater chain that was showing “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” because she considered it socially and historically inaccurate.
4. Even though it’s against her religion, Faiqa sneaks into farms and licks pigs.
5. Faiqa has a tattoo covering her entire back that looks like a portrait of the band Depeche Mode. She covers it with elaborate henna every time her parents come to visit.
6. In 1983, as a small girl, Faiqa made a waiter at Le Crepe en Haut cry when he brought her duck l’orange and it was undercooked.
7. In Pakistan, 90% of the citizens walk around wearing purple wristbands that say “WWFD?” The other 10% are related to her and call Faiqa directly to ask her what she would do.
8. The second Star Trek movie is actually about Faiqa.
9. Faiqa is not actually human. She’s a robot, and her name is an acronym that stands for Fully Automated Insurgent Quashing Assassin. Her cousin is Johnny Five.
So, go on over and visit her and wish her a happy birthday and tell her how impressed you are with all of her accomplishments!
Enjoy this post? Try these:Friends of Avitable I: Faiqa
One Old Ass MotherFaiqa
Two more days to win one of two iPods
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISS FAIQA-DOO!
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Twitter: themuskrat
says:
How glowing of you. I guess I’ll have to go visit and then show her my bare ass.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Best. Birthday. Wishes. Ever. I love you. I do. And I don’t care who knows it.
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Twitter: Blogography
says:
I didn’t think it was possible for Faiqa to get any hotter than she already is… until I found out she has a Depeche Mode tattoo covering her back! Now what am I supposed to do? The perfect woman for me is married to another man AND having his baby. Again.
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Happy Birthday Faiqa!
I hope this is your best year yet.
And Adam, I’m almost excited to see what you do for my next birthday. Heh.
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Twitter: GingerSnaps
says:
Faiqa first came onto my radar right here on your blog!:thumbsup:
Happy Birthday, Faiqa!!!
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
i almost peed my couch when love was declared anonymously. well played, faiqa.
happy birthday to one of the most wicked funny and intelligent, not to mention gorgeous women i know. hope your day is spectacular.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
I was beginning to suspect the robot thing.
Great tribute!
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I have been trying to avoid reading her because I already spend so much time reading blogs but I am going to have to go over there now that I know how awesome she is.
What a great birthday tribute!
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Twitter: missbritt
says:
Faiqa? Condescending?
That’s ridiculous.
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
I always wondered what those purple wristbands were on CNN.
I had just thought Lance Armstrong had outsourced the bracelet manufacturing to China.
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Twitter: coalminersgd
says:
Damn, girl! You were hot even as a toddler! Happy Birthday, hope this next year of your life is full of many more blessing and much happiness.
And, dammit, I want a “WWFD?” bracelet. Now, woman.
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Yay, I have a new feed for my reader! :woohoo:
Happy Birthday Faiqa!
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Twitter: alotofnothing
says:
I found her a few weeks ago and immediately added her to my reader. I would have sworn she’d been blogging for a long time.
(See – I can kiss two asses at the same time.)
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Faiqa freaking rocks. Period. She’s fricking beautiful, smart… and I do worship her. I can’t believe she didn’t give me a bracelet! :crying:
Happy Birthday, Faiqa!!!
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
Happy Birthday Faiqa!
Just so you know – I fully expect a birthday tribute this year. If sending you boob pictures and licking your nipples doesn’t get me all sorts of perks, what the hell am I doing it for?
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Whoa. That look on that baby girls face speaks VOLUMES.
Happy Birthday, Faiqa! :woohoo:
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
That was quite enjoyable and made me a little curious about this blogger.
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
The look on her faika (is that the word for face?) in that picture just screams the following.
“Yeah, you perv go ahead and just TRY to look up my skirt. I’m about to rip those eyes out of your sockets so fast it’ll make your head spin. Don’t you know I’m a princess? Where’s my plate of food?!!? If you don’t get outta my face, I’ll blog bad about you and you’ll wish you were dead. Bye! Love ya! Mean it! Mwah!”
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Avitable, your blogs always crack me up but this one tops them all. Hilarious. I love your humor.
Faiqa does indeed rock. But if she wuz smart she’d RUN right now and market those purple bracelets while they are still fresh in our minds. I have a feeling we’d all buy one. hee hee.
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Happy birthday to one of the nicest, most beautiful woman I have ever met!! Faiqa, I hope you had am amazing day!
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Happy birthday to a cool chick Faiqa!!! Even her name is so cool!!!
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