In yesterday’s mail, I received a package from my Papa (aka my grandfather) that showed exactly where I come from. My sense of humor, my sarcasm, my overall outlook on life – I have him to thank.
Here are the three pages that made up the package I received:
He's kept this newspaper clipping for 22 years.
Could I look any more androgynous at age 10?
To be fair, they were used in elaborate war scenarios along with my Transformers.
Thanks, Papa!
As you might be aware, I have a birthday coming up. What? You didn’t now? I haven’t mentioned it enough? Well, it’s true. You can buy my love here
However, today’s not all about me. It’s also the birthday of two of my favorite women who live in the computer. The first one is Tracy Kaply. She’s turning 104 today, so go wish her a happy birthday. The other is Nina from Readerwritesmith. She’s recently abandoned her blog, so I don’t want to link to it, but I think she reads me when she’s naked and lonely, so use my comments to wish her a happy birthday, too.
This weekend, Amy and I will be going to stay the night in a haunted bed and breakfast that was featured on Ghost Hunters, so stay tuned for stories from that!
Enjoy this post? Try these:Avitable: Tshirt Whore
Who should replace Regis Philbin?
You made such great pedophile bait.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
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Glover only won because he had two years on you.
Fucking 8th grader.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
I am not surprised you played with dolls
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Glover was actually really nice. What word did you misspell.
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You were so adorable.
Which isn’t surprising since you are such a foxy man now.
Wink.
But dude. Second place in a 6th grade spelling bee? I expected more from you.
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Twitter: tlkaply
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I’m pretty sure that guy was my drug dealer in high school. Just sayin’.
And also I AM ONLY 102. Bastard.
Thanks, Adam. :lmao:
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im with Tanis…wtf, second place?? sheesh. Although i will say, I love your dad.
XOXO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
b. :boobs3:
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Twitter: Blogography
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That’s not just a doll… that’s a Cabbage Patch Kid!!
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I won the spelling bee for my elementary school. :poke:
What I want to know is this–did he write the captions as well?
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Dude, we totally had pretty much the same hair cut when we were both ten. Though I think it’s less socially acceptable for me since I’m a girl. Also gross.
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Is it weird your blog attracts good spellers? I was also the spelling bee champ for my elementary school. I choked at district.
Why does your spelling bee pic look like a mug shot?
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Turnbaby stole my comment! Add me to the list of readers who WON their spelling bee in 6th grade.
You had a Cabbage Patch Kid! Awww. Did you make him anatomically correct by attaching a Play-Doh penis?
CAN’T WAIT to read about your night at the haunted B&B!!! Major envy here.
Happy birthday, Adam! Happy birthday, Tracy! Happy birthday, Nina!
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I have never been, nor ever will be a good speller. I like to think that I am unique and creative in spelling skills and rarely ever use the same combination of letters for certain “special” words.
About the weekend get-away. Doesn’t that poor woman have enough fears to conquer when going to bed with you, without being drug to a haunted hotel of death? Poor, poor Amy. All she has to put up with and now she is saddled with an older man. tisk tisk
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Second place…and you have been overcompensating ever since. :boobs2:
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Grant, I know – that’s why men always asked me to sit on their laps.
BE Earl, three years, actually. I was one of those early kids.
Amanda, still do! Except they’re called action figures now.
Clayton, I don’t remember what word at the county bee. I remember that the word “duly” got me at the state bee and that’s only because the judge was a fucking retard and said the word wrong. And yeah, Glover was a nice guy.
Redneck Mommy, no, I was second place in the regional spelling bee. I won the school spelling bee and competed against all schools in the region, from grades 6-8. I was the youngest kid there, because I was only 10, and most 6th graders are 11.
Tracy, you don’t look a day over 100.
Just Beth, see my explanation above. “Papa” is actually my grandfather – I edited my post because I realized I didn’t explain that.
Dave2, damn straight. Those dolls rocked!
Turnbaby, so did I. This was a regional competition, not the school competition.
Bridget, bowl cuts are always gross.
Laurin, I was a child criminal.
SJ, I won the spelling bee for my class and for my entire school. Then I went onto the regional bee, came in second place as the youngest contestant there, and went to the state district spelling bee, where I finally lost. Both you and Turnbaby need to learn how to read, I think.
Cris, you definitely have an interesting way of speeling wurds.
Metalmom, no, it’s the penis I’m compensating for.
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Twitter: msmegan
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A sense of humor is most certainly genetic. I think I’d like your grandfather.
Love is on it’s way to you, only it will probably be late because I’m really not on top of things that don’t directly affect my life and I’m too cheap to get express delivery. But… :sexytime:
Happy Birthday Nina, I miss you!
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
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Dave2 is right. Those are Cabbage Patch dolls. Did Optimus Prime butt rape them? That would explain alot.
More importantly… bring the video camera, the night vision goggles, and the OUIJA Board this weekend. I fully expect an episode of Haunting The Haunters from you on Monday.
And tell Amy to go towards the light.
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Twitter: Jayman3768
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I can tell that you’re still bitter about that second place finish. I’m sure the guy who won was on performance enhancing drugs.
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Twitter: http://whall.org/blog
says:
I bet ewe thought he said “doobie”.
Am I write? Did I nguyen something? Why our you humping that bukkit while holding the cab badge patch doll?
Owe yeah, Happy birthday to whatsernamewithoutablog.
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I am a regional Spelling Bee champ too!
Your grandpa sounds like a hoot. You are lucky to have him.
I think it would be fun to stay someplace haunted. I am a little jealous.
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Twitter: Faiqa
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Happy Birthday Nina!
::lowers voice to a barely audible whisper:: Wow. You were actually a very beautiful little boy. (Not meant in a pedophile way, but in a mommy way).
Now we all know the perils of excessive masturbation. You should do a PSA.
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that newspaper clipping has a Single White Female vibe going on.
also, i maintain that papa is a genius.
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LOL
I blame it on not enough tea
You didn’t answer my question :boobs4:
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Finn, everybody loves him. You sent me love?! Is it a plaster cast of your breasts?
NYCWD, I will bring the video camera and night vision goggles.
Jay, he was actually part robot.
Whall, actually, he was Southern and said “du-ah-ly”.
Daisy, we’re hoping that the atmosphere is indeed creepy and not cheesy.
Faiqa, are you saying I’m not beautiful now?!
Liquid, we did look alike, didn’t we?
Turnbaby, I wrote the photo captions.
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Coming soon: special episode from our Ghosthunters: Avitable division or are you with the Ghost Facers?
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Srsly, what’s up with all the spelling champs? Me too…won the 6th grade bee. Weird, huh?
I can’t wait to hear your recap of the weekend, when you come back, will you share which B&B you went to?
Have fun!
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Naw, man, you look like a dude. And who the hell looks good when they’re 10?
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Twitter: msmegan
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Now you’ve gone and spoiled the surprise, haven’t you?
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I can’t spell worth shet and I think your papa is pretty cool. He obviously “gets” you.
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Damn you were cute! Oh of course you’re cute now, too.
I, too, plan to send you a gift, but mine requires some outside assistance, which you’ll understand when you get it, in 2010. Well, hopefully before then!
I won the school spelling bee in 5th grade, and wouldn’t even enter in 6th grade. Getting in front of everyone terrified me.
I can’t wait to see your video of the haunted house! Please no close-ups of your snotty nose!
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HAHA you used to play with dolls! BAHAHA
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Twitter: poppycede
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Pretty boy, hehe.
Have fun being haunted!!!!
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Twitter: Kapgar
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I think you should organize a blogger-con where we all can sit down with him and learn more about the twisted background that created you. It would be wicked fun.
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