There’s a new adult store online called Eden Fantasys. In order to sell their sex toys, they’re tapping into the blogosphere and providing free products in return for a review and a few well chosen links back to their site. And even though they can’t even spell fantasies correctly, I decided to join in on the fun. Please to enjoy:
They should call it a blowfun! from Adam Avitable on Vimeo.
I noticed while washing it at the end that the warm water made the skin much warmer to the touch, and that made it feel even more like real skin. All in all, it has good elasticity, sturdiness, and a semi-realistic feel, so if you are sick of doing the five-knuckle shuffle, this might give you some good variety on your sad, lonely, nightly masturbation.
If you’re in the market for a sex toy, lotions, videos, or anything else sextacular, you can use promo code BLOG7565 at Edenfantasys to receive 15% off all products!
30 Days of Truth Day 11: Compliments
The Things For Which I’m Thankful
S&M melts in your crotch, not in your hands: Product Review
I feel like I just watched you get a blow job.
I think the most disturbing part is where you explained that the fake plasic blow job is better than a real blow job because you don’t have to worry about what to do with your hands.
Now excuse me, but I’m going to go throw up.
Not in that “OMG! I just spit out coke on my keyboard!” bullshit way. In that “I am actually going to hit Submit comment and then go vomit.”
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@Miss Britt, so does that mean you don’t want to see the real product testing video?
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Twitter: alotofnothing
says:
I’m incredibly disturbed, yet I find myself voraciously hungry.
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@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing], oh, c’mon. You wake up that way.
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Twitter: Amanda234
says:
I was worried to begin with when I saw the mayo on the counter, but when you squirted it and it made that noise? I gagged. Then I gagged again when you showed the close up of the sausage next to the mouth with the mayo over both.
I was fine with the simulated sausage bj though
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@Amanda, you’re not a fan of mayonnaise?
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Twitter: Blogography
says:
You forgot to add the lipstick.
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@Dave2, oh, the lipstick is automatically on there but rubs off the first time you wash it at all. By the time I did that take, it was all gone.
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When adding the oil onto the stiff, meaty rod, you looked like you had a lot of practice at that.
Perhaps I should have a talk with Amy.
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@Kris, my oiling skills are top notch.
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
I’m sorry, but I stopped watching when you asked, “What do you do afterwards?” No. Just. Fuck. No. (But, hey, the knife holder thing in the background is waaay cool!!)
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@Faiqa, you have to keep watching! Don’t be a pussy.
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First off, I am impressed by the size of that sausage. Second, I have never been more disturbed by the sight of mayo.
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@Jen, the mayo scene even disturbs me a little.
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haha! Looks like you almost got lockjaw trying to eat the sausage at the end. (Joey Lawrence voice:) Whoa!
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@booga, yeah, that thing was fucking huge.
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Twitter: mr_shiny
says:
Thank you for posting this AFTER I had already plagiarized you. This would have been a doozy to recreate…
(Although I’m witgh Faiqua re: the knife holder in the background.)
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@shiny, I would have liked to see that! (And it’s Faiqa. No “u”.)
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I cannot stop laughing.
That was, by far, the best video product review, EVER!
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@Amber, it was fun to do, too!
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That is fantastic!
I’ve seen them before… but never seen one in situ!!!
I totally want one!
And now I know Avitable (one of the cool kids) has one I REALLY want one too!
Robyn
PS – Just to clarify – that would be the fabulous Voodoo knife block I’m coveting… not the unpalatable plastic orifice.
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@borysSNORC ™, here’s a link to it.
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It’s telling me the video no longer exists–oooops
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@Turnbaby, it might not be allowed in Kentucky! Seriously, though, it works for me – just try hitting refresh.
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@Avitable, LMAO
I giggled at the mayo–yeah I’m a sick puppy
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Twitter: _scifidad_
says:
Easily your most disturbing work yet, and that’s saying something.
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@SciFi Dad, why, thank you.
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I have a question about your rating system… You gave it a “1 penis up” out of how many penises?
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@Geeky Tai-Tai, I didn’t think that far ahead. I think it’s the direction that counts. So, it’s one penis that’s limp, then semi-erect, then up, then purple and exploding.
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Twitter: Greeneyezz
says:
All while I was watching that, I couldn’t help but think that you should have drawn Eyes on your right hand that was holding onto the toy.
And the Mayo bit. omg. :cocksuck2:
I’ll never look at Mayo quite the same way again. And to top it off, I then saw Dave2′s post where he shows a pic of French Fries with what???…A big ass Gob of Mayo on it! lmao!
I do have one question for you…. What happens when your relatives Google your name and reach this site??
~~
~ZZ
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@Greeneyezz, my relatives just shake their head and walk away slowly. Except for the ones who read it regularly.
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Twitter: Greeneyezz
says:
…Oh and @Scifi Dad, You think *that’s* Avitable’s Most Disturbing Work??
You obviously didn’t catch the Snake Video, didcha????
~ZZ
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@Greeneyezz, well, to be fair, I didn’t make that particular video.
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:clap:
Damn. I was so worried when I saw the mayonnaise in the background, and then relaxed a little – and I shoulda known. :lmao:
It was excellent!
You dirty, dirty fucker!
Thanks for the morning laugh!!
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@Sybil Law, you’re turned on, admit it.
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
Best. Product. Review. EVER!!!
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@NYCWD, thanks! Hopefully they won’t ban me from reviewing more products.
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Jesus. You installed the awful comment plug-in. You said you hated it too! Well, at least I don’t ever have to look at the comments again. What a mess.
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@Clown, I’m just testing it out. Do you have any suggestions for making it look better?
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Twitter: LeSombre
says:
Funniest “hide the salami” moment ever. I laughed, I cried, I had a raging semi. But then I read your reply to Dave2 and almost died:
“oh, the lipstick is automatically on there but rubs off the first time you wash it at all. By the time I did that take, it was all gone.”
You mean you stuck your actual dick in there BEFORE putting the salami in there and ate it?
LOL!
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@LeSombre, no, I shot a few takes and washed off the toy a few times before doing this final one.
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Twitter: LeSombre
on February 3rd, 2009 at Tuesday, February 3, 2009 @ 9:20 am
@Avitable, methinks thou protest too much.
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@LeSombre, I’d totally tell you if I had! I have no shame.
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Twitter: LeSombre
on February 3rd, 2009 at Tuesday, February 3, 2009 @ 9:44 am
@Avitable, Touché.
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I think it’s because it’s early, but I didn’t even notice the mayo was part of the demo until it suddenly disappeared, and I was suddenly thinking “oh my god, I know where he’s going with this…”
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@Crystal, excellent prognostication!
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If you can tell how long I have had this on my screen you probably think I am some kind of pervert or something. I was just waiting for my kids to leve for school before I watched it because I knew if I closed the window, I would forget. It was everything I expected it to be. And I am very glad I waited for the kids to leave for school before I watched it!
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Well, it WAS a mighty big sausage.
Seriously – what kind of fricking sausage was that? (I just want to know because it as so big.) :lmao:
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@Sybil Law, I don’t know, and I threw the wrapper away. I was just looking for the largest possible one.
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Twitter: msmegan
says:
I think you way overestimated the volume of the ejaculate.
And really, that thing is CREEPY.
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@Finn, all men’s sex toys are creepy. Women’s are sleek and sexy. Men’s are dirty.
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Who needs sex toys when we have your blog as fantasy material?
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@Grant, that is an excellent point.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
yet another reason i don’t want to be at work today: i can’t watch this video here!
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@hello haha narf, you totally need to watch it and tell me what you think!
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Very Creepy. Excellent!
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@Dr Zibbs, thank you. Mayo?
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:thumbsup:
The musical montage was the perfect ending. Woo hoo!
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@ajooja, it seemed fitting.
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Great. Now I’m craving hot dogs.
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@daisy, I’ll send one right over.
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This may be the greatest commercial ever for Bertolli devirgined Olive Oil or Real Mayo.
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@Rick, I should try to sell it to them.
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How the heck am I suppose to eat my sandwich now? It has mayo in it! God help you if you ruin mayonaise forever for me!
Hilarious dude. :clap:
I can’t wait until they send you a butt plug.
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@Dragon, that’s what I’m requesting next. Just think of the possibilities!
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Can’t wait for your review of the strap-on they sent.
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@always home and uncool, I just have to get it out of my ass first.
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Twitter: Jayman3768
says:
Mayo is the grossest substance ever created. So that really made the video perfect.
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@Jay, you don’t like mayo? Mayo is awesome!
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Bwahahahaha!! Can’t breath. Oh my.
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@Laurie, are you choking on a piece of my fake penis? Because I almost did.
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Um…breathe
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Suddenly, I want hot dogs for lunch. Or dick.
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@Brandon, try both. Let me know which it was.
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Twitter: karensugarpants
says:
I feel so dirty watching that. At least when you do a review, it’s entertaining! No one can deny you that!
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@Karen Sugarpants, I aim to please. Or I aim for your eye.
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Funny as shit!
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@Scott, I don’t know. Shit’s pretty funny!
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Twitter: Temptingsam
says:
OMG. I felt a little naughty sitting here watching you rub your fake manhood in a plastic mouth.
I kinda felt like gagging with each thrust… LOL
What weirded me out the most? At 4:10 there’s mayo in the background, then all of a sudden, it’s GONE! Then…. O.M.G.
I don’t think I’ll ever eat that shit again.
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@sam {temptingmama}, it was magical mayo jizz!
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you just had to eat it at the end didn’t you? man I just don’t know how to feel right now. I too am hosting a Eden Fantasys contest, but mine is from some sexy lingerie! My example doesn’t compare to yours though!
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Twitter: maria0305
says:
oh my god. oh my god. That might be the best and still most disturbing thing I’ve ever watched. I’ve made a video review for the rabbit I just from them but I need to just go on and delete it. I can’t top this.
Loved how her mouth remained as virgin as ever though. That’s a sure plus. And hands should be on the back of the head, in the hair, holding the hair out of the face, without applying pressure unless it’s a throat fucking session. In my humble opinion.
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LMFAO!
I just watched this video with Matt and we both like pissed ourselves laughing!
I can’t stop laughing lmao especially with the noises that the mayo made lmfao
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
That hot dog/sausage really intimidates me.
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
but is she dishwasher safe?
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
and really? you don’t know what to do with your hands during a blow job? how the hell did you get to 33 without knowing what to do with your hands??
sigh.
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Dude, I’m with you. The whole question of what to do with my hands is always awkward.
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Just….wow.
I was already gagging a bit when I saw the mayo in the background…it says something that I already knew what was going to happen with it.
I’m with Britt on this one…i feel a little hurl-ish.
And? When the mayo made that sound? I threw up a little bit. In mah mouth. :puke:
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I can totally send you some lipstick, though.
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Well, I give that video a :cocksuck2:
great stuff!
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Wow. Wow wow. I originally read this on my iphone, so I couldn’t watch the video. You didn’t disappoint!
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I like the nubbles!!! Seems that would work well!!!
And dude that is an enormous hotdog/sausage/penis!!!
I am frightened!!!
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I have never liked hot dogs or mayo, even less now. I showed the wife and she had her hands over her eyes, maybe she will go off hot dogs and mayo too!
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Adam-
As I scrolled down your page I was excited by the title as it’s right up my alley. Unfortunately as I continued scrolling, I noticed that the video was unavailable which saddened me greatly, any chance of getting that fixed?
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either you have rocket fixing skills, or it magically loaded as soon as my comment posted….either way job well done
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Pingback: A Pile Of Dog Bones
You really are one sick puppy. And by the way, I like Miracle Whip. Its alot sweeter than the salty stuff if you get my meaning. Again, this is creepy since we are related.
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