After last night’s show, during which I was mocked and otherwise insulted by a mob of uneducated bastards who think that every person on Earth has value, I felt shame. Chagrin, even. Maybe I am being too harsh on the sheeple of the world by automatically assuming that they have no value to me. Maybe there’s some choice wisdom that I’m missing just by being close-minded!
So I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf. I thought that a good start to that would be to take the time and write a list of the things that I’ve gleaned from the people with whom I interact during my daily life. Maybe this will help me get some perspective on the good that people have to offer.
From Gary, the guy who cleans my pool, I could have learned:
that it’s cold in Michigan
that when the wind blows, there are leaves that get in the pool
that when he puts a lot of chlorine in the pool, it will get rid of any algae
From Janice, the woman at the Burger King drive-through window, I could have learned:
that the King Size cup is now called a Large
that Antwon better stop calling her
that she needs a receipt to figure out the change for a $20 when the total cost is $17
From Rafael, the guy who delivered my paper order, I could have learned:
that I order a lot of paper
that he used to own a truck
that he thinks “Adam” is somehow pronounced “Amad”
From Jesseca, one of the house cleaners, I could have learned:
that she likes pitbulls
that she thinks pitbulls are cute
that the floor she’s mopping is wet
From Annmarie, the cashier at the grocery store, I could have learned:
that ohmygod she loves that gum too
that she thinks that bread and milk belong in the same bag
that she only has twelve minutes to go on her shift
From Jigsaw, my dog, I could have learned:
that she has to pee
that she likes having her head rubbed
that she thinks my feet are fun to lick
Wow, look at all of the amazing valuable information I was missing! I was so wrong – you can learn something from everyone!
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Stripped bare
Twitter: SwanShadow
says:
From this one post, I could have learned that:
* You have a pool.
* There’s at least one other person in the universe who’s annoyed when Antwon calls.
* Dogs are the same everywhere.
* You haven’t figured out that if you put “that” in the lead-in, you don’t have to type it in every item.
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I refuse to learn anything else.
I’m putting my foot down with this whole learning thing from people business.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
says:
If being able to point at an otherwise useless person and say without a doubt that he/she has value solely based on the ability to spot useless people like them, then I guess everyone has some kind of value.
Strike that. People are stupid. Most of them anyone. No one here, of course. Just sayin’.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
, February 5th, 2009: 1:57 AM
@myself – replace “anyone” with “anyway”. See, I’m stupid too. Sigh.
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Twitter: VerdantDude
, February 5th, 2009: 1:58 AM
@myself again,
Hey, this is kinda fun.
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The most valuable in the list being what you could learn from Jigsaw. Dogs are better than most people anyway. :cocksuck2:
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Do you mean there are people out there who don’t already know your feet are fun to lick?
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Where is learning to improve your licking your own balls technique from Jigsaw?
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Yeah. THAT was the point I was making.
Dumb ass? The POINT is that you have no fucking clue WHAT you could learn from those people because you’re too arrogant to accept the fact that someone who is “beneath you” might know something you don’t.
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Twitter: Bellaventa
says:
You really are THAT insecure.
To be honest, I would rather be sheeple than have 1 ounce of your personality. But then I still read.
Baaaaah.
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I call some people a waste of “space” “sperm” “skin” or “my time”, ergo nothing to teach me unless I want to be a douchebag too. If that were the case, I’d watch “Tool Academy”
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From Adam I’ve learned:
Tact is for pussies
Men can blow dolphins
Snakes are diiirty
Some girls eat poo
Mayo in a fake mouth makes funny noises
Grown men like Avril Lavigne
There are more pearls of wisdom, but it’d be such a long list!!
In spite of your assholery, I still
:heartbeat: you.
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We have learned absolutely nothing here today. I feel so cheap…
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Speak for yourself…
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Twitter: hismuse
says:
From Adam I learned that Hitler has a sense of humor.
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Twitter: nycwatchdog
says:
Obviously Annmarie learned her bagging skills from my bagger, Shaniqua.
Go figure.
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..but just think, where would you be without those kind people in your life…cleaning your own pool, bagging your own groceries, licking your own feet and cleaning your own house…
So they do have value to you…..
We need to work on getting that chip off your shoulder!!!!
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Twitter: hellohahanarf
says:
you hate me because i don’t have a college education, don’t you?
:crying:
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You’re analyzing people’s “value” in relation to you not to others. These individuals are probably cherished by others in their lives. One doesn’t have to be educated or have a higher level of responsibility in society to be respected and valued for whatever they bring to the table. It may be their sense of humor or the care they provide for an elderly aunt- who knows? They have lives outside of their jobs and mean something to people other people in society, so therefore have value.
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Well, we can’t ALL be masters of time, space, and dimension AND rock star bloggers – sheesh! Next time you pull up to the BK window, you might learn from Janice that Angry Whoppers have been known, on occasion, to actually strike customers in the head.
; )
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Twitter: thursdayschild
says:
Jesus H. Christ, you’re the most sarcastic bastard I know.
But that’s why we love you.
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Twitter: s_csr
says:
::sigh::
If I were an ass that got offended easily, I’d really be taking some offense.
Instead, I will just wave “hi” and go fill out an application to finish my degree.
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I agree with you Avi. Who has time for losers?
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“”the people with whom I interact during my daily life”"
—the pool guy, the house cleaner, the drive through chick, the delivery guy, the check out clerk and your dog make up your social interaction for the day?
:poke:
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Twitter: tlkaply
says:
Dude, I don’t think you can learn something from everyone you meet, because you would not believe some of the people I have met.
However, having said that, I do think that you learn something from every situation you find yourself in, even if, as is my case, it’s usually how much you hate people.
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Twitter: mamandesfilles
says:
You have more than one housekeeper?
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I’ll tell you what I learned from you.
You are very kind and generous. Thank you for the awesome shirt!
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Twitter: _scifidad_
says:
I think you should write this post again, except telling us what you could learn from other bloggers.
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Twitter: thursdayschild
, February 5th, 2009: 7:44 PM
@SciFi Dad, I think that’s a fantastic idea!
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Twitter: Faiqa
says:
Smart ass. Can I get Gary’s number? I’d like to out you as an arrogant prick with that phone call. :heartbeat:
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Twitter: poppycede
says:
I learned from the Dagostino cashier that she’s a bag lady in her spare time. At the methadone clinic, no less. And here I thought I was at a high-end market…
Gawd, I’m so judgmentally City now.
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I am with you, although many people have value many others do not. For example, my dog Vinny provides value as a companion…yet the girl I slept with last night only provided value as a tool for sexual gratification.
Some people are valuable while others fall beneath dogs.
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:loser:
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