I Call It Dating. You Call It Stalking.

It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad lib

As you know, Valentine’s Day is on Saturday. While I think that it’s unnecessary to need a special day to buy flowers or a gift for your significant other, it’s still a day that Amy and I celebrate.

This year, I’m planning a surprise for her, and since there are some people who know her who read this blog, I can’t post the details. So I’m just going to have to post a censored version instead.

First thing Saturday morning, Amy and I will __VERB__ until it’s __NOUN__ to __VERB__. She’ll __VERB__ my __NOUN__, I’ll __VERB__ our __NOUN__, and then we’ll both __VERB__.

Next, we’ll spend a few hours __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ until we both __VERB__. While __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__, we’ll do lots of __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ and I might ask Amy to __VERB__ me so I don’t get __ADJECTIVE__. Once we both __VERB__, we’ll __VERB__ in the __NOUN__ and go to our __NOUN__. Later that day, we plan on __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ or maybe even __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ a __NOUN__. At 6:30, we have plans to __VERB__ __NOUN__, so we’ll have to have finished __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ and __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ by then.

After __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__, we will __VERB__ to a(n) __ADJECTIVE__ __NOUN__, where we’ll start __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ for __NOUN__. For the rest of the night, we will be __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ and __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ and probably __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ our __NOUN__ if it’s too __ADJECTIVE__. I think that we’ll be completely exhausted by the time we finally fall asleep.

The next morning, before Amy wakes up, I’ll __VERB__ her __NOUN__, and then we’ll enjoy a leisurely __NOUN__ before __NOUN__. Then we’ll start __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ after that. I think that we’ll probably be too tired by that point to do any real __VERB ENDING IN “ING”__ and will probably just __VERB__ to __NOUN__ instead.

All in all, it should be an exciting Valentine’s Day weekend!

Do you want to play along? Fill in the missing words in the comments, and I’ll pick the top one or two funniest versions and post them here! (I might even give a prize if any of them are particularly clever.)

The words to fill in are, in order:

1. Verb
2. Noun
3. Verb
4. Verb
5. Noun
6. Verb
7. Noun
8. Verb
9. Verb ending in “ing”
10. Verb
11. Verb ending in “ing”
12. Verb ending in “ing”
13. Verb
14. Adjective
15. Verb
16. Verb
17. Noun
18. Noun
19. Verb ending in “ing”
20. Verb ending in “ing”
21. Noun
22. Verb
23. Noun
24. Verb ending in “ing”
25. Verb ending in “ing”
26. Verb ending in “ing”
27. Verb
28. Adjective
29. Noun
30. Verb ending in “ing”
31. Noun
32. Verb ending in “ing”
33. Verb ending in “ing”
34. Verb ending in “ing”
35. Noun
36. Adjective
37. Verb
38. Noun
39. Noun
40. Noun
41. Verb ending in “ing”
42. Verb ending in “ing”
43. Verb
44. Noun


****
In other Avita-news:

Thanks to the few people who attempted to translate my secret message to Heather in Friday’s post. The message was written in Shyriiwook, which the language used by the Wookiees from Star Wars. If you translated it (using a translator like this one), you would find out that the original message said:

“May Heather’s thirty-seventh year be as bountiful as the fleas in Lowbacca’s fur.”

My cousin Jared got the answer first, although he thought “Lowbacca” was an error on my part so he wrote “Chewbacca” instead. SciFi Dad was the first one to get it completely correct, so I’ve decided to send both of them $25 Amazon gift cards as a thanks for playing!

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28 Replies to “It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad lib”

  1. LeSombre

    First thing Saturday morning, she and I will sleep until it’s time to eat. She’ll butter my toasts, I’ll empty our diswasher, and then we’ll both shower.

    Next, we’ll spend a few hours swimming until we both tire. While drying, we’ll do lots of sunbathing and I might ask her to oil me so I don’t get sunburned. Once we both tan, we’ll look in the house and go to our living room. Later that day, we plan on reading or maybe even taking a nap. At 6:30, we have plans to go to dinner, so we’ll have to have finished napping and reading by then.

    After dressing, we will drive to a fancy restaurant, where we’ll start looking for parking. For the rest of the night, we will be eating and drinking and probably filling our tummies if it’s too delicious. I think that we’ll be completely exhausted by the time we finally fall asleep.

    The next morning, before she wakes up, I’ll iron her blouse, and then we’ll enjoy a leisurely stroll before lunch. Then we’ll start cooking after that. I think that we’ll probably be too tired by that point to do any real vaccuming and will probably just want to fuck instead.

  2. Sybil Law

    1. piss
    2. corncob
    3. squeal
    4. throbbing
    5. bunion
    6. run
    7. baby
    8. cry
    9. shitting
    10. skip
    11. skipping
    12. burping
    13. ply
    14. oily
    15. yank
    16. jerk
    17. chicken
    18. ball
    19. porking
    20. drinking
    21. booger
    22. stretch
    23. baby
    24. puking
    25. pooping
    26. drinking
    27. walk
    28. pretty
    29. monkey
    30. slinging
    31. eye booger
    32. squishing
    33. drooling
    34. fucking
    35. schlong
    36. huge
    37. fart
    38. mouse
    39. turd
    40. snot
    41. slapping
    42. riding
    43. squeeze
    44. asscheeks
    I really tried not to read the story and just come up with words. I think they’re more fun that way!

  3. Kiefer and Emo

    First thing Saturday morning, she and I will lemniscate until it’s polar coodinates to graph. She’ll modify my boxplot, I’ll set our ratio test, and then we’ll both simplify.

    Next, we’ll spend a few hours compounding until we both converge. While normalizing, we’ll do lots of vectoring and I might ask her to solve me so I don’t get uncountable. Once we both tessellate, we’ll rationalize in the parenthesis and go to our formula. Later that day, we plan on parameterizing or maybe even bisecting a dodecahedron. At 6:30, we have plans to degenerate conic sections, so we’ll have to have finished circumcircling and postulating by then.

    After theorem pinching, we will modulate to an acute angel, where we’ll start mensurating for volume. For the rest of the night, we will be normalizing and reciprocating and probably shrinking our parabola if it’s too random. I think that we’ll be completely exhausted by the time we finally fall asleep.

    The next morning, before she wakes up, I’ll satisfy her equation, and then we’ll enjoy a leisurely regression line before a set of paired data. Then we’ll start inverting after that. I think that we’ll probably be too tired by that point to do any real experimenting and will probably just mesh to platonic solids instead.

    All in all, it should be an exciting Valentine’s Day weekend!

  4. Avitable

    LeSombre, bravo!

    Jared, no problem. Don’t spend it on hookers and coke.

    Wayne, and an adjective!

    Sybil, the point was to actually read the story, though. Heh.

    NYCWD, he’s apparently one of three people who actually went to the effort to try!

    Kiefer and Emo, I’m mathematically aroused. Thanks for making the effort! Everyone else is a lazy bastard.

  5. Coal Miner's Granddaughter

    First thing Saturday morning, she and I will fornicate until it’s time to poo. She’ll spread my anus, I’ll bleach our toilet, and then we’ll both rest.

    Next, we’ll spend a few hours eating until we both pop. While eating, we’ll do lots of snogging and I might ask her to fellate me so I don’t get blue. Once we both fill up, we’ll get in the car and go to our house. Later that day, we plan on 69ing or maybe even fondling a young Latin boy of 18. At 6:30, we have plans to rock Orlando, so we’ll have to have finished 69ing and fondling by then.

    After rocking, we will drive to a swingers’ club, where we’ll start scoping for well-hung men. For the rest of the night, we will be masturbating and copulating and probably watching our fellow swingers if it’s too hot. I think that we’ll be completely exhausted by the time we finally fall asleep.

    The next morning, before she wakes up, I’ll worship her body, and then we’ll enjoy a leisurely whipping before breakfast. Then we’ll start watching porn after that. I think that we’ll probably be too tired by that point to do any real fucking and will probably just go to sleep instead.

    All in all, it should be an exciting Valentine’s Day weekend!

    Oh, Lord. That was lame, wasn’t it?

  6. Stephanie

    First thing Saturday morning, she and I will shower until it’s time to consummate. She’ll wash my back, I’ll lick our slippers, and then we’ll both vomit.

    Next, we’ll spend a few hours eating until we both poop. While resting, we’ll do lots of pontificating, and I might ask her to rub me so I don’t get hairier. Once we both exfoliate, we’ll swim in the pool and go to our couch. Later that day, we plan on Karoaking or maybe even busting a move. At 6:30, we have plans to taunt Britt, so we’ll have to have finished masturbating and crying by then.

    After dressing, we will dance to a(n) old polka song, where we’ll start blowing for bucks. For the rest of the night, we will be pissing and moaning and probably prostituting our friends if it’s too boring. I think that we’ll be completely exhausted by the time we finally fall asleep.

    The next morning, before she wakes up, I’ll choke her chicken, and then we’ll enjoy a leisurely colonic before lunch. Then we’ll start cleaning after that. I think that we’ll probably be too tired by that point to do any real blogging, and will probably just go to church instead.

    All in all, it should be an exciting Valentine’s Day weekend
    :woohoo:

  7. Ashleigh

    This was entertaining but makes no sense.

    First thing Saturday morning, she and I will cuddle until it’s time to eat. She’ll cook my breakfast, I’ll wash our dishes, and then we’ll both nap.

    Next, we’ll spend a few hours scrap booking until we both sneeze. While sneezing, we’ll do lots of fondling and I might ask her to blow me so I don’t get greedy. Once we both laugh, we’ll drive in the car and go to our planet. Later that day, we plan on sucking or maybe even fucking a mail order bride. At 6:30, we have plans to devour Orlando, so we’ll have to have finished sucking and fucking by then.

    After pondering, we will look to a(n) enchanted castle, where we’ll start searching for a banana. For the rest of the night, we will be exploring and giggling and probably riding our bike if it’s too dark. I think that we’ll be completely exhausted by the time we finally fall asleep.

    The next morning, before she wakes up, I’ll suck her elbow, and then we’ll enjoy a leisurely walk before sex. Then we’ll start painting after that. I think that we’ll probably be too tired by that point to do any real tanning and will probably just agree to fuck instead.
    All in all, it should be an exciting Valentine’s Day weekend!

  8. Hilly

    You asked for it! I am not even looking at the story! True mad-libs dictate that I just spit it out and you plug it in, plug it in!

    1. schlep
    2. spleen
    3. talk dirty
    4. baking
    5. kitten
    6. gnosh
    7. cupcake
    8. spelunk
    9. fucking
    10. cough
    11. slurping
    12. validating
    13. spank
    14. pretty
    15. drive
    16. laugh
    17. mars bar
    18. television
    19. reducing
    20. slouching
    21. cock
    22. eat
    23. corn dog
    24. cauterizing
    25. lamenting
    26. tripping
    27. lust
    28. groovy
    29. record player
    30. exercising
    31. pancake
    32. masturbating
    33. writing
    34. defending
    35. walkway
    36. rocky
    37. fly
    38. amuse bouche
    39. post-it note
    40. lotion
    41. dreaming
    42. fisting
    43. conceed
    44. the South

  9. Petunia

    Valentine’s Day Mad Lib – Sudan Style

    First thing Saturday morning, she and I will slide until it’s boda-boda to crash. She’ll resuscitate my matatu, I’ll carry our beer, and then we’ll both whack.

    Next, we’ll spend a few hours eating until we both close. While biting, we’ll do lots of perusing and I might ask she to climb me so I don’t get hot. Once we both lick, we’ll walk in the nyama choma and go to our jebel. Later that day, we plan on loving or maybe even feeling a chapatti. At 6:30, we have plans to curse avaocado, so we’ll have to have finished jumping and quoting by then.

    After disturbing, we will catch to a slimy kisra, where we’ll start barking for mobile phone. For the rest of the night, we will be riding and fighting and probably eating our Land Cruiser if it’s too dusty. I think that we’ll be completely exhausted by the time we finally fall asleep.

    The next morning, before she wakes up, I’ll count her cassava, and then we’ll enjoy a leisurely laptop before kiosk. Then we’ll start driving after that. I think that we’ll probably be too tired by that point to do any real swimming and will probably just fly to soldier.

    Definitions:
    Boda Boda: Motorcycle
    Matatu: minivan that is a shared taxi
    Nyama Choma: roast goat meat
    Jebel: mountain
    Chapatti: flat bread from East Africa
    Kisra: also a flat bread, but much thinner, from Sudan
    Cassava: a root, pounded into a starchy substance. The leaves can also be fried like spinach.

    Enjoy! 🙂

  10. Grant

    This is too long for my standards (you owe me a dollar), but I’ll comply so that I don’t lose my status as one of your top commenters.

    1. Snort.
    2. Mulch.
    3. Crank.
    4. Stuff.
    5. Ladder.
    6. Skip.
    7. Butt plug.
    8. Whine.
    9. Sorting.
    10. Shart.
    11. Keening.
    12. Slapping.
    13. Read.
    14. Lexical.
    15. Vomit.
    16. Go.
    17. Dragon.
    18. Shotgun.
    19. Returning.
    20. Bashing.
    21. Platypus.
    22. Blaspheme
    23. Asian schoolgirl.
    24. Jumping.
    25. Porking.
    26. Praying.
    27. Touch.
    28. Splendiferous.
    29. Flamethrower.
    30. Bouncing.
    31. Chainsaw.
    32. Shrieking.
    33. Absolving.
    34. Casting.
    35. Anal sex.
    36. Bright.
    37. Push.
    38. Miss Britt.
    39. Rubber ball.
    40. Lava lamp.
    41. Boring.
    42. Cackling.
    43. Swish.
    44. Rhinoceros.

  11. Avitable

    Sybil, you can, if you want. It’s ok.

    Heather, clearly you know me too well.

    Elizabeth, what new look? I wonder if my iPhone theme accidentally popped up again.

    Muskrat, I’m not a DragonCon fan. But I am a geek.

    Stephanie, hummus? I’m so confused!

    Poppy, oh Poppy you came and you guessed it, oh Poppy!

    Ashleigh, yours almost does make sense. I love banana searching!

    Hilly, ooh, we’ll see how you do!

    Petunia, thank you for the definitions!

    Grant, but I didn’t tell anyone about my platypus.

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