Hallmark needs to pay me millions.
Hey everybody. Happy Valentine's Day! (Or Happy Self Love Day!)
Amy and I are in Savannah this weekend, thanks to the glowing reviews from Britt and Becky. We've got dinner reservations at some restaurant called Cha Bella, so that should be fun, and then we're heading over to Oatland Island to join a ghost hunting group at a 50,000 square foot abandoned building. Should be quite the romantic evening!
On Friday, SciFi Dad wrote a hilarious post with his own versions of Valentine's Day e-cards. I liked the idea so much that I decided to steal it and use it for my post on Saturday while I'm gone.
Once again, I think that Hallmark needs to come up with more clever Valentine's Day cards that will cover all different scenarios. They're missing a huge market, and I'm just the genius they need to help!
Here are just a few of my new card ideas:
For your mistress
For the serial killer's girlfriend
For the lazy wife
For the liberal wife
For the man-whore's girlfriend
Posted in Love and marriage | Tags: avitable, comedy, e-cards, funny cards, hallmar, humor, valentine, valentine's day cards, valentines-day
Heh the liberal one would work better for mike than for me, but thankfully I'm not really getting him anything
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Oh! I claim the lazy wife one!
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Serial killers who would need a binding legal contract are funny.
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I loved the first card.
But then my husband saw it and now he wants to beat you.
Wink.
And I'm still laughing over the phone message. Even Boo wants to shake your hand for a job well done.
Happy V day dude.
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That one about the Fucking Laundry was clearly meant for me. :heartbeat:
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Well, if Hallmark doesn't hire you or just buy the ideas outright, will you consider printing and selling your own cards? These are brilliant.
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The last one? Awesome.
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Avitable…
You are a genius. I'm seriously emailing this through Google Reader to everybody I know.
Thanks for the V-Day laughs!!!
(And have fun in Savannah!:))
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I don't know why you specified "lazy" wife. I'm pretty sure that card could me marketed simply "for the wife."
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I'd like a nice card I could hand out to all the people in love reminding them that they're going to die someday and if they prevent me from getting a decent table at a restaurant tonight then it will happen a lot sooner than they think. Can you and Hallmark work on that for me?
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I adore Savannah–that sounds like a very fun evening.
And be sure not to go to Daytona tomorrow :poke: :poke: :poke: :poke:
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I'd let a Republican cook me dinner.
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Oops. That's not YOU, that's ME!
(I'm too lazy to log out and correct it though.)
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I totally love the first one cause you don't get fooled until the very end. Oh, and the laundry one. Oh heck, I love ALL OF THEM!
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:clap:
I :heartbeat: you, AHA.
Happy Valentine's Day to you and Amy!!!
(For real, those cards are incredibly similar to the card that Gibson stole from me! Bastards.)
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A+ on the first card.
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I would think that "sorry about the STD" cards would be big sellers.
Those were all hilarious!
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Nicely done.
(For the record, my wife found mine more offensive than yours. Think about that for a minute.)
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True to form, I like the man-whore card best.
And? So you're going out for a "nice meal"?
*snort* Britt gets the joke.
Hope you get some ghost pics!
Happy VD! (not literally, of course) :lmao:
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loved the cards! you should write for hallmark. they have the mahogany line, why not the avitable line?
hope savannah is wonderful for you and amy! enjoy.
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Those were great cards. Let us know when Hallmark comes calling so we can support your creations.
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Nothing says romance like the prospect of being terrified by otherworldly beings. It's, like, a metaphor for love. You guys are so deep. Also, might I point out that you didn't write a card for the abortion clinic bombing, gun toting, red meat eating, child spanking conservative wife. I demand a recount. That she will inevitably fix.
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Bossy is on the floor. That is all.
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HAHA Halmark really SHOULD pay you!!!
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I'm going print these and randomly stick them in the American Greetings rack at the CVS. Then, I'm going run like hell.
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These are great. Sci-Fi Dad should be honored.
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Amanda, nothing? Not even a card?
BPR, it's all yours.
Dave, well, that way they can justify it!
Redneck Mommy, the first card was for you, but I think I can take your husband.
LMSS, heh. I plead the fifth in calling anyone lazy.
Kapgar, I'll call it Ballmark.
Floating Princess, thanks!
Amber, you could also use that little "Stumble" button to stumble it!
Stacey, in retrospect, I think you're correct.
Grant, I'll get right on it.
Turnbaby, I thought it was on Saturday, but luckily when we drove back we missed the race traffic.
Britt, is that a euphemism for something?
Hilly, thanks!
Sybil, Gibson? Did I miss something?
Poppy, Fs on the rest?
Jay, I bet someone's already made a line of those types of cards.
SciFi Dad, that astounds me. Yours were funny and I didn't think any of them were offensive!
Stephanie, yes, a nice meal, fuckyouverymuch!
Hello, the Avitable line of cards. That has a nice ring to it.
Marty, my cards will be behind the counter like the porn magazines.
Faiqa, those type of women get valentines from Jesus.
Bossy, did you lose a contact?
Sarcastica, so should Hallmark!
AHAU, genius! I should totally do that, too.
Muskrat, thanks!
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Don't be silly, the rest are cool too but the first one is the one we discussed at The Sizzler, and that's really saying something.
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Heh, very nice.
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