Morality is subjective

Challenging the status quo

To succeed in life, everyone says that you need to challenge the status quo. Coming up with the right questions to challenge the old methods can breathe new life into any endeavor. There are literally hundreds of books out there discussing how to be successful by challenging the status quo.

However, as a successful businessman and entrepreneur, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Usually, I’d charge four easy payments of $99.95 for this, but because I like you, I’m giving this information to you for free. Ready?

It’s no longer good enough to challenge the status quo. Everybody’s doing it, so now, challenging the status quo has become the status quo! There is a new secret business technique that will let you succeed financially, emotionally, physically, and gravitationally. I present to you:

Mentally Challenging the Status Quo

Think of your current situation. If you were simply challenging the status quo, you’d ask yourself “Why do I do things this way?” And if your answer is something like “We always do it this way”, “It’s just how you do it”, or “I don’t know”, it’s time to go to the next step.

By my new approach, however, if you are mentally challenging the status quo, you ask yourself “Why does my finger smell funny?” If your answer is “Because I had it in my butt”, “Doodie smells bad”, or “I don’t know”, it’s time to go to the next step.

How do you mentally challenge the status quo? Here are 8 simple steps that will allow you to think outside of the special box and bring you great success:

1) Increase Urgency – There can never be change unless people feel that there is an urgency to change. Try running around your office screaming “There’s a monkey on my back and he’s on fire but he has a laser gun!” This sense of urgency and panic will definitely make people stop doing whatever it is they were doing, aka, the old ways.

2) Create A Guiding Team – A group of people just like you will have much more power than just one of you. Try wearing matching helmets and backpacks to give a sense of carama camera caramaraderie friendship. Also, have cool nicknames like “Red Leader”, “Pointy Nose”, and “Beardface”.

3) Paint a Clear Picture of your Goal – Without pictures, your people will spend hours sounding out long complex words like “branding” and “customer”. If you can paint a clear picture of your ultimate goal, people will be more likely to assist you in mentally challenging the status quo. I suggest using markers with lots of different colors so that you make your point. Also, draw a unicorn.

4) Repetition, repetition, repetition – It can sometimes take a while for a message to sink in with your audience, so it’s important to repeat this message in as many ways as possible, as loudly as you can. For example, if you wanted your target market to be Oklahoma, skipping around the room yelling “OKLAHOMOKLAHOMOKLAHOMOKLAHOMA!” while banging a metal spoon on a pan is an effective way to firmly register this concept in everyone’s minds.

5) Empower Action – The status quo presents many barriers to bringing about change. If you want to mentally challenge that status quo, everyone needs to be empowered to remove these barriers. Some of these barriers may include articles of clothing, protective covers for electrical outlets, or mouthguards.

6) Short-Term Wins – You won’t be able to achieve your goal overnight; however, if you can give yourself small goals to win, you will be able to build momentum and confidence. Some ideas for good short-term wins would be putting your pants on the right way the first time, speeling everything correctly, and remembering to go to the bathroom if you have to pee.

7) Don’t Let Up – Don’t give up! If someone doesn’t want to accept your idea or thinks you smell funny, grab them and shake them until they either give in or go to sleep.

8) Make Change Stick – Once everyone starts getting used to smelling your finger, fighting off the laser monkey, and wearing matching helmets, you’ve succeeded! Of course, this means that you now have a new status quo, so it’s time to start all over again. Never stop mentally challenging the status quo!

If you’ve found this interesting and would like to learn more methods and techniques, you can buy my book!


Available at my mom’s house, in my bedroom on my dresser. The alarm code is 55469, but I’m not supposed to tell anyone, so don’t say anything and I know you won’t steal anything because you’re my friend.

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30 Replies to “Challenging the status quo”

  1. Avitable

    BE Earl, that is my new book!

    Clown, no, Ruprecht.

    SciFi Dad, but, more importantly, are you allowed to cross the street by yourself?

    NYCWD, well, it’s also loosely based on a real series of “challenge the status quo” steps that I saw somewhere, too.

  2. Avitable

    Valerie, they work on two levels!

    Sybil, you should just change your name officially.

    Twinkie, it’s not really that complicated.

    Impa, this isn’t a political post, nor was there any reason for politics to be mentioned at all. Fuck off, you obnoxious retard.

    Hilly, no, that wasn’t mean at all!

    Stephanie, clearly, you’re one of the unenlightened people who aren’t sharp enough to understand what satire is.

  3. Poppy

    And by nobody you mean your BFF? I hate it when that happens. (I’m not kidding.)

    Is there some deeper meaning than you making fun of retarded people and the status quo and your night vision goggles?

  4. Avitable

    Poppy, no, that’s pretty much it. I think a lot of people just don’t have any experience in corporate or business environments so they don’t get it.

    Whall, you’re doing that just to make me pull out my hair, aren’t you?

  5. notreallyme

    You almost said something truly deep and profound. Except you blew it with the fricking ending.
    all hail Hal 9000
    And break, don’t forget about fricken break.

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